Waking up in his arms, the next morning, scared me half to death. For a
second I had to remember where I was. My eyes were hazy but once they
began to focus I noticed whose arm was wrapped around me.
I had to stop myself from screaming.
This has to be a dream. This has to be. Last night he left. I stopped it. This cannot be real.
But then the memories came flooding back. Every single moment, every single touch, every single kiss.
He moved next to me and his eyes opened. They focused on me instantly and he smiled.
"What's wrong, Elizabeth?" He asked, knowingly.
How do I explain to him that I made a terrible mistake? Oh my God! How to I tell him what we did was wrong?
"Are you sorry about last night?" He asked.
I said nothing, turning away from his prying eyes.
"I'm not, Elizabeth. We have no reason to be. We are both adults, and we made a decision."
"You make it sound like it was rational decision." I said, still turning away from his eyes.
"Wasn't it?"
"Where do we go from here, Jason?" I asked, still avoiding his eyes.
"Where do you want to go Elizabeth?" He asked.
"That's just it, Jason. I don't know what I want. This has never happened to me before. I've never done something like this . . ."
"You regret it, don't you?"
I said nothing.
"It's okay. Things don't have to change."
Things didn't have to change? Everything about my relationship with him just changed! Does he think I could just pretend it didn't happen?
"I should go." I said, getting up from the bed, "Could you not look?"
He closed his eyes. And for a moment I let my gaze linger over his body. Only his torso was exposed but I had to exhale before I fainted. I sauntered over to the bathroom, picking up my clothes in the process, and closed the door. I had to lean against the wall for a moment and just clear my head.
I slept with Jason.
I quickly changed and came out slowly. He was partially dressed, the bed still lay unmade, and I was met with his crystal blue eyes. He pulled his shirt over his head as I blushed and shyly turned away.
"Let me take you home." He said.
"I can walk." I said.
"If you don't want a ride, let me call you a cab." He said.
"I'll be fine." I said, reaching for the door.
As I opened it I noticed an expression on his face I had never seen before.
"Jason . . ."
He turned.
"I never wanted it to be like this." I continued.
"I know." He said, looking down at the bed.
"Why don't you stop by Kelly's later? We can talk."
"Okay." He said, turning away.
As I tried to leave he stopped me, "Elizabeth."
I turned.
"Let me call you that cab. I don't want anything to happen to you."
His worry annoyed me and comforted me. It was not to far and I had easily walked the distance before. But just to hear him worry made me realize that he was still the same man that had been my friend previous to this. And I was treating him like I hardly knew him. He never deserved that.
"Okay, I'll take that cab. But note that it's under protest."
He smiled slightly and picked up the phone. I just leaned against the frame of the doorway, staying as far from him as I could.
When he got off the phone, "The cab will be waiting around back in about two minutes."
He held out some cash.
"I don't need it."
"Take it, please." He insisted.
I took the money, "This is under protest as well."
"Noted." He said, mockingly. I let it slide.
I left and closed the door. I walked down the stairs feeling horrible. I just ruined any chance of a relationship with Jason. And to top that off, I did it to get back at Lucky. How shallow am I?
I went out the back way and met the cab. When I got to my studio, I realized I had left the door open. I just ignored it and walked inside and shut the door. My eyes instantly went to my jacket on the floor. I leaned against the door and let my head fall into my hands.
I'm such an idiot.
I had to stop myself from screaming.
This has to be a dream. This has to be. Last night he left. I stopped it. This cannot be real.
But then the memories came flooding back. Every single moment, every single touch, every single kiss.
He moved next to me and his eyes opened. They focused on me instantly and he smiled.
"What's wrong, Elizabeth?" He asked, knowingly.
How do I explain to him that I made a terrible mistake? Oh my God! How to I tell him what we did was wrong?
"Are you sorry about last night?" He asked.
I said nothing, turning away from his prying eyes.
"I'm not, Elizabeth. We have no reason to be. We are both adults, and we made a decision."
"You make it sound like it was rational decision." I said, still turning away from his eyes.
"Wasn't it?"
"Where do we go from here, Jason?" I asked, still avoiding his eyes.
"Where do you want to go Elizabeth?" He asked.
"That's just it, Jason. I don't know what I want. This has never happened to me before. I've never done something like this . . ."
"You regret it, don't you?"
I said nothing.
"It's okay. Things don't have to change."
Things didn't have to change? Everything about my relationship with him just changed! Does he think I could just pretend it didn't happen?
"I should go." I said, getting up from the bed, "Could you not look?"
He closed his eyes. And for a moment I let my gaze linger over his body. Only his torso was exposed but I had to exhale before I fainted. I sauntered over to the bathroom, picking up my clothes in the process, and closed the door. I had to lean against the wall for a moment and just clear my head.
I slept with Jason.
I quickly changed and came out slowly. He was partially dressed, the bed still lay unmade, and I was met with his crystal blue eyes. He pulled his shirt over his head as I blushed and shyly turned away.
"Let me take you home." He said.
"I can walk." I said.
"If you don't want a ride, let me call you a cab." He said.
"I'll be fine." I said, reaching for the door.
As I opened it I noticed an expression on his face I had never seen before.
"Jason . . ."
He turned.
"I never wanted it to be like this." I continued.
"I know." He said, looking down at the bed.
"Why don't you stop by Kelly's later? We can talk."
"Okay." He said, turning away.
As I tried to leave he stopped me, "Elizabeth."
I turned.
"Let me call you that cab. I don't want anything to happen to you."
His worry annoyed me and comforted me. It was not to far and I had easily walked the distance before. But just to hear him worry made me realize that he was still the same man that had been my friend previous to this. And I was treating him like I hardly knew him. He never deserved that.
"Okay, I'll take that cab. But note that it's under protest."
He smiled slightly and picked up the phone. I just leaned against the frame of the doorway, staying as far from him as I could.
When he got off the phone, "The cab will be waiting around back in about two minutes."
He held out some cash.
"I don't need it."
"Take it, please." He insisted.
I took the money, "This is under protest as well."
"Noted." He said, mockingly. I let it slide.
I left and closed the door. I walked down the stairs feeling horrible. I just ruined any chance of a relationship with Jason. And to top that off, I did it to get back at Lucky. How shallow am I?
I went out the back way and met the cab. When I got to my studio, I realized I had left the door open. I just ignored it and walked inside and shut the door. My eyes instantly went to my jacket on the floor. I leaned against the door and let my head fall into my hands.
I'm such an idiot.