By Gem
Angel had again, disappeared to his room. But this time Cordy knew it wasn't to avoid her – I mean, he was a vampire and yet he was going to be a father, and since he had wondered off in a kind of daze, and she was positive he hadn't really heard her when she had explained that they were all off to Caritas once night fell. Which boiled down to the fact he'd got caught up in the thought of him being a father.
Cordelia could relate too – hell, she was the mother after all! So maybe she wasn't a vamp who couldn't have kids, but, well, there was something more that had made her disbelieve that she could be pregnant. She hadn't told the guys… it was her little secret because she didn't want their pitty. - When she and Oz had found Willow and Xander… well, y'know, and then she had fell and, well, ouch! Afterwards the doctor said there was a slim chance she wasn't able to have kids… not because of being impaled, although finding out was the result of it. If she hadn't fell like that and landed where she did, she would still have the same problem, just unbeknownst to her of course.
She looked over at Wesley, who was reading futher into his book. Gunn had gone back to his hood for the rest of the day, reassuring them he'd meet them in Caritas once it opened – but she wouldn't put it past him to not turn up altogether. There was a chance Angel would be singing.
"Hey, Wes. I'll be back in a minute, OK? I just wanna see if Angel's alright. It was quite a shock, I think," she stood up and headed away.
"You think?" She heard him call after her, "well, I KNOW."
'THAT was defiantly a knock," Angel told himself, he'd been so deep in thought he just about caught what he thought was someone knocking, but hadn't been too sure until it sounded again.
"Angel? It's Cordy. Can I come in?"
"Yeah! Come in!" He called back, and listened to the door creak open as he took a seat on his bed.
She came and sat beside him, they didn't look at each other but both faced forwards instead.
They sat in silence for awhile, thinking.
"Y'know, I don't know whether I should be more embarrassed than before or less embarrassed," she spoke up, and followed it with a sigh. "I mean, it's a comfort to know that it wasn't just me being the one embarrassed this past month or so, but then, I think about what YOU were obviously acting strange about, and the blush just creeps right back on up there."
"Did you know, I was so sure that the reason YOU were avoiding me was because I thought you somehow knew what I was dreaming about?" He shrugged, "I just guessed that you'd had a vision of the PTB had found some other way to tell you."
She let out a little laugh, "no kidding! I thought YOU had somehow picked up on why I was acting strange when you started avoiding me! – I assumed it was because every time I saw you… well it was the strangest thing, every time I knew I'd be seeing you, I'd tell myself it'd be fine and I'd be all prepared and everything and then WHAM! All I can see is flashes of the dreams and I just wanted to die. And I just thought you – being a vampire and all – could probably tell my heart beat was getting faster and that I was all flustered and couldn't get my words out, and I guess I just thought 'he doesn't have to be a genius to work out why… just a vampire'."
He looked to his feet, "so how are we going to play this?"
"I'm not sure. I mean, the dreams in the first place were obviously planted or whatever by the PTB… so there must be a plan, right? Maybe they want us to have a kid 'cause a warrior and a seers kid holds some great power or something… I just wished they'd told us the plan!"
Angel flopped back on the bed, 'she thinks it was the PTB's doing?… But The Host said it was all me… does that apply to Cordy too? Or is this thing just one way?' His mind raced, 'if her side of things wasn't to do with the PTB then she'd feel something for me, which she obviously doesn't or she'd be NOT taking about them right now.' His heart sunk.
He looked at her. She was looking over at him concerned, "everything OK, Angel?"
He pulled himself back up, "yeah, I was just thinking… 'bout the PTB... and why they gave us these dreams,… and in turn, the possibility of a baby."
Cordy bit her bottom lip, 'damn! I was right! He DOES think this is all 'cause of the PTB! Ugh! I would sooo LOVE to punch them in the nose!'
She pulled herself together, "so, you asked how we should play this… and I guess, after we talk to The Host later we'll be able to discuss that more, that is, if he has anything more to tell us than what he already told you."
"He defiantly knows more. He just said that he'd let us when we need to know… I'm not sure if that's now, or later when there is a baby to look at."
"Well, if it is later, then for now, I say we play this as we would any normal two people having a kid together that aren't together."
Angel gave her quizzical look, "and how's that?"
"Um… I guess you'll be the dad and I'll be the mom, except we won't be married – but when I say dad and mom separate like that, I don't mean we should be like a separated couple or act like we've been through a divorce – no hostility whatsoever. …I guess we'll be as we are now. Best friends, and parents to our kid. It's that simple."
'Simple? What am I saying? It's bloody complicated.. well, I guess that's mostly because we'll have a kid and be it's parents, but we'll just be best friends – when I want to be more than that – like proper married parents who are having a kid!' she whined.
'Great. Simple. - NOT GREAT AT ALL! Parents to the same kid and I'm supposed to still just be her best friend while she acts all motherly and I have to do the father gig… um, maybe I can work the traditional line and ask her to marry me and say it's 'cause I wouldn't feel right if the mother of my kid gave birth without me doing the right thing and creating a proper family home for… - would she even buy it? … I'll ask … later… maybe.'
"OK, that's how we'll play it… unless the PTB has something else in mind."
She nodded, "…so, um, just so I'm clear on this, were back to normal, right? And I think it would be for the best if maybe we forget the whole being embarrassed thing, I mean, it's not like it was down to us! It was purely the PTB!"
'At least for you, anyway,' Angel added in his head.
'…but I wish it wasn't,' Cordy added to herself, not knowing any better because she hadn't heard The Host the night before.
Angel nodded, "I'm fine on both those accounts."
She smiled, "good, me too. … So, I guess I better get back upstairs, I only told Wesley I'd be a minute."
She was halfway out when; "hold up, Cordy," she turned back to see him grinning at her as he too got up, "I'll come too, after all, we got rid of the embarrassment so I guess that mean's avoiding each other's gone out the window too, huh?"
She grinned back.