Bobbie had to run an errand she had put off until the last moment so I
agreed to close the diner for her. Thus Bobbie had told me to take an
extra long lunch and suggested to make use of the time and try and figure
out things with Lucky and Jason.
I went towards my studio, lunch in hand, and took the long route through the park to admire the beautiful day.
It was on this stroll that I saw them together and wished that I had taken another route home. Sitting on the bench was Lucky and Sarah, huddled together as though they had a shared secret.
I was disgusted and just wanted to walk past and ignore them, but I could not. So I walked directly up and startled them.
"Elizabeth." Lucky said.
"Lizzy, I think we need to talk." Sarah offered and Lucky took it upon himself to give us space. I was glad because I still did not have any idea how to approach Lucky after our last encounter.
"I know that you must be furious with me, and I totally understand . . ." Sarah started, attempting to play the role of the compassionate and understanding sister.
" You * understand* ?" I spit back, harshly.
"Yes, I know how I would feel seeing you with someone I love and . . ." She started.
I interrupted, "You could never * understand *, Sarah."
"That's unfair, Lizzy!" Sarah offered.
"Unfair? I'm being unfair! All I have been doing lately has been an attempt to reconnect with you and put all of the stuff from our past aside. I do not want to fight with you and since you came back I've been the perfect little sister. But you go behind my back and betray me with Lucky! You know what I've gone through with him and yet you cannot show enough restraint to keep your hands off him!"
"Lucky pursued me just much as I pursued him. I'm not the only one that betrayed you. I'm not the only one you saw in that bedroom!"
I could not stand to hear anything else she had to say.
I gave up, "You are my sister, does that not mean anything to you? It use to mean something to me."
I turned and walked away before I she could say anything else. I did not want to give her the chance; I just wanted to get as far away from her as possible.
~*~*~*~
Walking up the stairs on the docks I felt his presence and turned around. There he was at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me with those * eyes *.
"What happened?" He asked, noticing that something in me had changed immediately. He could always read me like and open book, which at times was comforting.
"I ran into Sarah." I replied, knowing that he would be able to read the rest of the story in my eyes.
I continued anyway, "She tried to say that she * understood * how I was feeling. But she could never know. She did not know how it felt to be loved by Lucky and how it felt to loose him. She did not know how long it took us to get back to some semblance of a relationship. She just swooped right in, in Sarah fashion, and stole everything out from right under me."
He walked up the stairs until we were eye level and took me within his arms.
We walked back to my studio together, his arm wrapped delicately around my waist. We both went to the couch and sat down, our eyes locked.
"Lucky was there but once he saw me he took off." I offered.
"He's upset."
"He's the one who betrayed me, I don't see how he has that right."
He took his hand and reached for mine and held it gently, rubbing his thumb of my knuckles.
"I told Lucky that we slept together." I admitted, feeling guilty.
He said nothing.
"He came by after you left last night. I wanted to hurt him. He brought it up and I went along with it. I wanted him to hurt just like I was. But now when he looks at me its as if I'm dirty." I said, looking away from his eyes.
"Is that why you came by Jake's, because you were angry?" He asked.
I suddenly realized what I had done.
"I was angry, Jason, but with Lucky and myself. What happened . . . I wanted it to happen. I just stopped it the first time because I was afraid that you'd see it just the way you are seeing it now. I was afraid that you might think that it was only because I was angry. But for so long I have wanted to be with you. That's why I ran away this morning, because I'm not sure what happens next."
"What do you want to happen?" He asked, sympathetically, classic Jason.
"I want to be with you." I said, admitting it out loud.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"I've realized that what Lucky and I had is no more. We tried but it did not work. And I'm not going to let him or let myself stand in the way of being happy. And the happiest I've ever been is when I'm with you."
He smiled.
I looked down at my watch and saw that I had to be at Kelly's in fifteen minutes.
As if he read my mind he offered, "Do you want me to walk you back to work?"
I smiled.
I went towards my studio, lunch in hand, and took the long route through the park to admire the beautiful day.
It was on this stroll that I saw them together and wished that I had taken another route home. Sitting on the bench was Lucky and Sarah, huddled together as though they had a shared secret.
I was disgusted and just wanted to walk past and ignore them, but I could not. So I walked directly up and startled them.
"Elizabeth." Lucky said.
"Lizzy, I think we need to talk." Sarah offered and Lucky took it upon himself to give us space. I was glad because I still did not have any idea how to approach Lucky after our last encounter.
"I know that you must be furious with me, and I totally understand . . ." Sarah started, attempting to play the role of the compassionate and understanding sister.
" You * understand* ?" I spit back, harshly.
"Yes, I know how I would feel seeing you with someone I love and . . ." She started.
I interrupted, "You could never * understand *, Sarah."
"That's unfair, Lizzy!" Sarah offered.
"Unfair? I'm being unfair! All I have been doing lately has been an attempt to reconnect with you and put all of the stuff from our past aside. I do not want to fight with you and since you came back I've been the perfect little sister. But you go behind my back and betray me with Lucky! You know what I've gone through with him and yet you cannot show enough restraint to keep your hands off him!"
"Lucky pursued me just much as I pursued him. I'm not the only one that betrayed you. I'm not the only one you saw in that bedroom!"
I could not stand to hear anything else she had to say.
I gave up, "You are my sister, does that not mean anything to you? It use to mean something to me."
I turned and walked away before I she could say anything else. I did not want to give her the chance; I just wanted to get as far away from her as possible.
~*~*~*~
Walking up the stairs on the docks I felt his presence and turned around. There he was at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me with those * eyes *.
"What happened?" He asked, noticing that something in me had changed immediately. He could always read me like and open book, which at times was comforting.
"I ran into Sarah." I replied, knowing that he would be able to read the rest of the story in my eyes.
I continued anyway, "She tried to say that she * understood * how I was feeling. But she could never know. She did not know how it felt to be loved by Lucky and how it felt to loose him. She did not know how long it took us to get back to some semblance of a relationship. She just swooped right in, in Sarah fashion, and stole everything out from right under me."
He walked up the stairs until we were eye level and took me within his arms.
We walked back to my studio together, his arm wrapped delicately around my waist. We both went to the couch and sat down, our eyes locked.
"Lucky was there but once he saw me he took off." I offered.
"He's upset."
"He's the one who betrayed me, I don't see how he has that right."
He took his hand and reached for mine and held it gently, rubbing his thumb of my knuckles.
"I told Lucky that we slept together." I admitted, feeling guilty.
He said nothing.
"He came by after you left last night. I wanted to hurt him. He brought it up and I went along with it. I wanted him to hurt just like I was. But now when he looks at me its as if I'm dirty." I said, looking away from his eyes.
"Is that why you came by Jake's, because you were angry?" He asked.
I suddenly realized what I had done.
"I was angry, Jason, but with Lucky and myself. What happened . . . I wanted it to happen. I just stopped it the first time because I was afraid that you'd see it just the way you are seeing it now. I was afraid that you might think that it was only because I was angry. But for so long I have wanted to be with you. That's why I ran away this morning, because I'm not sure what happens next."
"What do you want to happen?" He asked, sympathetically, classic Jason.
"I want to be with you." I said, admitting it out loud.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"I've realized that what Lucky and I had is no more. We tried but it did not work. And I'm not going to let him or let myself stand in the way of being happy. And the happiest I've ever been is when I'm with you."
He smiled.
I looked down at my watch and saw that I had to be at Kelly's in fifteen minutes.
As if he read my mind he offered, "Do you want me to walk you back to work?"
I smiled.