The next day, I was still feeling under the weather. I had shooed Nikolas away and arduously waited for Bobbie to arrive. Just as I was on my last nerve, Bobbie came.

"How are you feeling today?" Bobbie asked.

"Better than yesterday. I'm sure it was just those other pills." I said, only half-believing it.

Then Bobbie pulled out of her purse the pregnancy test.

"I know that this is the last thing you wanted, but you need to know. The sooner you find out the truth, the sooner you can make a decision."

I took it from her and wandered into the adjoining bathroom. I took the test and left it on the bathroom sink. I crawled back into bed and tried to avoid Bobbie's eyes.

Bobbie was the one that went into the bathroom after two minutes. She emerged a minute later.

"Home pregnancy tests are not always accurate." She added.

My heart stopped momentarily, "What did it say?"

She didn't have to say it. The second I asked I could read the expression on her face.

"Thank God." I whispered, knowing not what I would do if it had been positive.

"There is still a possibility. I would rather you took a test at the hospital to be sure."

"I'm sure Bobbie."

"Still consider it." She said before leaving.

I called her back, "Bobbie?"

She turned, "Could you schedule it for sometime early next week?"

I asked her more to make her happy then I did for myself. I could not be pregnant. That was not an option.

"Sure." She said with a smile and left.

~*~*~*~

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Gia and Nikolas screaming at each other. Despite the appearance of thick walls, they were surprisingly thin and it was easy to hear what they were fighting about. I tried to not listen but it was exceedingly difficult.

At last I heard Gia slam the door and a little while later Nikolas came into my room.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, typical diversionary tactic.

"Better." I said, honesty.

"That's great. Maybe later we could take a walk on the grounds or something."

"Sure, that sounds great." I offered.

He sat down on the end of the bed and started to stare off into space. Eventually, not being able to take it anymore, I cracked.

"What happened with Gia?"

"We broke up." He offered, nonchalantly.

I sat up and moved closer to him, gently putting a hand on his shoulder.

"You don't have to do that with me." I offered.

"Do what?" He asked, as if he didn't know.

"Act like it doesn't bother you. I know how much you and Gia meant to each other. I know your hurting. And just because I did not particularly like Gia does not mean I don't understand what you felt for her. I need you to know that I'm here if you need me."

"God, I missed this." He offered, referring to all the time we had spent fighting.

~*~*~*~

A week later Nikolas and I were back to how we use to be, one half of the four musketeers. Lucky had not come around after our last encounter and from Nikolas. I heard he was busy with his relationship with Sarah. I want to be happy for him, I really do, but he's with Sarah!

Sarah had not come to visit at all. She had not said one word to me since I caught them together. I laugh to myself when I think of that day we decided to be sisters again, and to be honest with one another.

But then I remember the night I spent with Jason.

God I miss Jason. I miss the way he would make sense of my life. I miss the feeling I use to get when he walked in a room, before I even saw him; I knew he was there. I miss the way he was gentle and kind. But most of all, I miss the way he kissed me.

My body aches for his touch, but not as much as I ached to see him again. Just to meet his blue eyes and feel the indescribable way that only he makes me feel.

So one evening I took a chance and called Sonny. Of course, with my luck, Carly answered.

"Hello?"

I hung up the phone. I did not have the patience to deal with Carly at the moment.

~*~*~*~

The next morning I woke up to the phone ringing. My thoughts immediately went to Jason. He had finally found out what had happened and wanted to make sure that I was okay. I picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Elizabeth, it's Sonny. Carly said that someone called and then hung up last night. Am I wrong assuming it was you?"

I smiled, "Yeah, it was me. I just couldn't talk to Carly."

"I understand. Is there something you need?" He asked.

I need Jason. I need to hear his voice. I need to know that he is okay.

Because I did not answer right away, Sonny guessed, "Jason?"

I was shocked and he continued, "I have not heard from him. When he calls I'll be sure to let him know that you called. Do you want me to tell him to contact you?"

I thought about it. I knew that if Sonny told Jason I called then he would be worried enough. I did not want to go outright and say that I wanted him to call. I finally settled with the only response I could muster, "Tell him I miss him."

"I will." Sonny offered and then there was nothing.

I crawled out of bed and took a shower. Today is the day of my doctor's appointment at General Hospital. Nikolas is coming, despite my protests, but is unaware of what the appointment is for. I hate lying to him but is it really lying if I just let him assume it is a routine follow up appointment? Of course it is, and I feel guilty, but the possibility of pregnancy is a little too personal to tell Nikolas. And besides, I'm positive I'm not pregnant. This appointment is just to prove to Bobbie that I am the responsible woman she's always known.

~*~*~*~

Dr. Meadows came in and muttered something to herself that I could not hear. I instantly became more nervous.

"I'm surprised, Elizabeth." She offered.

Surprised at what?

"After your attack I'm surprised you did not miscarry. You are pregnant and as far as I can tell everything looks healthy."

No. I cannot be pregnant . . .

"Are you sure?" I asked, completely overwhelmed.

"Yes."

I let out a breath I did not know that I was holding.

"Is everything all right?" She asked, obviously not as oblivious to my reaction as I would have liked.

I was speechless and could not even muster a reply.

"I can see that this is unexpected. If you would like to discuss having an ab-"

"No." I interrupted her, "That is not an option."

"Does your partner know that you are here?"

"No."

"Talk to him, Elizabeth. Do not try to go through this alone. Stress can be detrimental."

~*~*~*~

I have always wanted children; it was never a question for me whether I wanted a family. But I always thought that I would get married, live in wedded bliss for a few years, and then when the time was right I would have children. I always thought of myself as someone responsible enough to not be caught in this type of situation.

"What's wrong?" Nikolas asked when I met him in the lobby.

"I need you to do something for me, I cannot tell you why but I just need to trust my judgment."

"Of course." Nikolas offered, worried.

"Could you drop me off at Harborview Towers?"

"Elizabeth . . ." He started in protest but stopped himself.

"I promise I will tell you everything, later. All I am asking is for a ride. If you don't think you can manage that then I will get a cab. Either way I'm going over there."

There was never a question. He took my hand and led me to the elevator.

~*~*~*~

When we got to the towers, Nikolas promised to wait for me in the garage. I took the elevator up to the penthouse level, hesitated in front of Sonny's door, and then knocked.

Carly answered the door, "What the hell do you want?"

"I need to see Sonny."

"He does not have time to waste on you, princess purity." She scoffed.

Oh, how wrong she was.

I was about to say something when Sonny walked up.

"Carly, stop torturing her." He offered, and pushed her out of the way to let me in.

"Sonny . . ." Carly started protesting.

"Carly, please go upstairs."

"And leave you alone with Miss Muffin-face, I don't think so."

"Carly . . ."

She grabbed her purse and jacket off the couch, "I'm going out."

She turned towards me, "You better be gone when I get back."

When she left I let out a sigh of relief.

"This is a surprise." Sonny said as he walked across the room and poured himself a drink.

He offered me one, "No thanks."

I got straight to the point, "I need to talk to Jason, it is extremely important."

"Has someone been bothering you? I can assign a guard to you if you need it." He offered.

"No, nothing like that. I just really need to talk to Jason."

"I have no way of contacting him. When he goes off like this I usually don't hear from him for a little while. He calls when he is ready to work again. Until then, his phone is off."

"What happens if there is an emergency? What do you do then?"

"Jason finds ways of keeping up to date on business. He knows when there is trouble."

"Sonny, I wouldn't have come if this wasn't extremely important. I need to find Jason."

"What's happened, Elizabeth? I might be able to help."

If only you could, Sonny. But you're not Jason. I really need to speak with Jason.

I met his eyes directly, "I don't care what you do, or who you do. I need to speak with him. Please, I would not have come if it was not important."

"I'll try, Elizabeth." He said, concerned, "But I cannot make any promises."

"Thank you, Sonny."

As he picked up the phone I left, once outside the door I leaned against it and let out a heavy sigh.

God, Jason, I need you. I need you to make sense of this.

When I got down to the parking lot, Nikolas could no longer contain himself. I tried to avoid his eyes and remain mum but I needed someone to confide in and he was the only one available.

"Elizabeth, what is going on?" He asked.

I started at the beginning; "In Colorado I was always Sarah's sister. No one really knew me besides the fact that I was related to Sarah. I thought by coming to Port Charles things would change, but they remained the same. Lucky wanted her, plain and simple, and barely gave me a second glance until after my rape. But of course, my luck remained the same, and the fire stole away from me the one thing in my life that made sense. You tried to help then Nikolas but it was too painful because I saw you and thought of Lucky. It hurt so much, and slowly you and Em got past your grief so I pretended to, but it was a lie."

"Elizabeth . . ." He interrupted.

"Nikolas", I paused, "One day I went to the boxcar and there was Jason in the snow, bleeding. He needed someone to help him and I needed someone I could talk to that did not remind me of the past or expect me to pretend that I missed Lucky less then I did. You assumed that we were sleeping together and I let you believe it because I wanted to push you away. I wanted to push everyone away. But in the process I found a friend, but that was all it ever was . . ."

Nikolas continued to listen intently despite the desire I saw in his eyes to say something about my relationship with Jason. But he said nothing.

"Lucky came back, Jason was gone, and I tried again to play the role that was expected of me. But I had changed, and Lucky had changed, but neither of us wanted to admit it. And then Sarah comes back into town and I should have seen it, I did see it, I just did not want to. He wanted her. They told me that it was nothing, to forget it, but it is hard to forget the image of Sarah and Lucky * together *. "

"I'm so sorry, Elizabeth." He offered.

"Don't apologize. You don't need to. You did nothing wrong."

"I should have been there for you." He offered.

I almost laughed but it came out a harsh choking sound. If he had been there, would this be his child? Would Jason be the one here comforting me?

"I did not want to see it. I just wanted to forget. I was just so angry, I barely remember running into Jason. But suddenly I was there with him in my studio. I was yelling and screaming and he was there, just like Jason, listening and understanding. And he wasn't there telling me to try to make things up with Lucky or Sarah, he was telling me just what I wanted to hear. And then I looked at him, really saw him, and thought that it would be the perfect revenge, the perfect escape . . ."

I paused for a moment and got a good look at Nikolas and saw that he was uncomfortable with everything I was telling him.

"But I knew it was wrong. I did not want to use Jason just because I was angry at Lucky. He left and then Lucky came over and I wanted to hurt him so I lied and told him that I had slept with Jason. But it hurt me more then it could ever hurt him because I lied, which I hate, and I promised him honesty. I was just so angry."

"It was warranted." Nikolas interrupted.

"But after everything I did not want to hurt Lucky. I never wanted to really hurt him. I was just angry . . . jealous that my sister had pulled one over me again. I was more mad at Sarah then at Lucky. So I went to Jake's and . . ." I stopped, unable to say it aloud, especially to Nikolas.

I turned away from him, unable to meet his eyes. I did not want to read in them what I already knew, my irresponsibility.

He changed the subject, "I still don't understand . . . why are you telling me all of this? Why did you look so lost when you came out of your appointment? Why did you have me rush you over here? I don't understand, Elizabeth. Please, explain it to me. You know that I would do anything for you."

I felt the tears coming down my cheeks as he took his hand and gently turned my head so that his eyes met mine.

"You know that, Elizabeth, don't you? Tell me what is going on. Let me help you."

"I'm pregnant."