Aaaaah! I just saw the new 1602, and they gave Toad a cameo. I wanna cry! I know he's not really supposed to ever be sexy (hell, even in the movie, if you ever see him in good light, it's like "Ahh! Oh...Ee..."), but...*whimper* icky....and a lisp...NEIL! (Khan!) Anyway.

Blearg...awkward chapter. I don't like Zoey. And I feel like I kinda lost sight of Toad's. A lot of sulking. I guess he's merited it, but if he doesn't get back IC...*waves wiffle-bat menacingly at Toad*

Um, lessee....

First of all: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed thus far. Y'all rock my socks, you really do. And extra thanks to Guin for the list of British slang. Very cool of you, very useful for me.

Umm...what else? Rod Sterling was the host of a show called "The Twilight Zone" that portrayed short stories of weird happenings, kinda life what if? meets Sliders. Very fun show. Arceneaux is pronounced "Arson-Oh" for those of you not hailing from LA. And apologies to everyone who actually liked Episode I. Really liked it, I mean. Okay, on with the fic

(Toad and X-men (c) Marvel)

Dinner and a Movie

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"Still wanna do some more head shots," muttered Gabby. Toad smirked at her and drummed his fingers on her drawing pad. She glared at him. "Give it back already."

"Nope. You're done. I'm done." She grumbled something and settled back to watch TV. Just commercials.

"Come on...I won't make you model for me or anything. I just want to draw," she wheedled.

"No. Now shut up, I like this commercial." He was having fun baiting her.

WHUMP!

A pillow thudded against his face. Surprised, he fell over. Gabby seized her chance and grabbed the pad, hugging it to her protectively. "Mine." He glowered at her from the floor.

"Don't see how you can keep drawing."

"'M an artist. It's all I'm good at," she said simply, flipping the pad open.

"Well stop drawing me." She looked up.

"Why?"

"I don't like it." He hunched over and looked away from her.

"I just want--Ooh, pretty..." She broke off as Verizon Wireless played a Lord of the Rings-themed commercial, commanding her complete attention for fifteen seconds. "I just want one of you smiling. Hell, look in my other sketch book. I've made everyone model for me."

He scowled at her and she dropped it with a sigh and started drawing the sofa. He just wished he were back at the lair, where things were like they always were. Gabby was...weird. Now there's the pot an' the kettle, he thought, smirking bitterly. Okay, not weird, then, but different. Absently, he wondered if Rod Sterling was standing in the next room in a nicely pressed suit, telling the audience to "picture if they would..." Somehow, he didn't think that would surprise him. A sudden knock on the door, however, would.

"Zoey! Hey!" Gabby opened the door wide and Toad crawled out from behind the couch, mentally cursing being so high strung. A thin red-headed girl entered, loaded down with plastic bags.

"I come bearing food!" she declared. Gabby laughed and brought it to the table. Toad stared impassively at the new girl. Upon seeing him, a flicker of shock crossed her face, quickly replaced with a slightly ditzy smile. She held out her hand. "We didn't formally meet. I'm Zoey Arceneaux."

"Todd." He didn't take her hand. After a moment's thought, he added, "Toynbee." Gabby looked surprised.

"Y'never told me your last name, Todd."

"Didn't ask." He flopped down on the couch. Zoey stared at him awkwardly and he flashed her a cold grin, just to make her uncomfortable. Gabby gave him a disapproving look and took her friend by the arm.

"Zoe, hun. Do me a favor. Tell me what you think of these." She handed Zoey her sketch book and she leafed through the new pictures. Toad shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

"Mmm... your anatomy's a bit off on that leg there," she pointed out. "Is that one even humanly possible?" she squeaked, her eyes wide. "I like these poses though, they're real interesting. Mr. Teskey'll love 'em."

"What do you think of..." Gabby flipped to the first profile she had drawn. "This one."

"Ooh, I want..." said Zoey, a grin spreading over her face. "Nose is kinda big, but good expression. He's cute." She paused and tilted her head towards Toad. "Wait...this him?" Gabby only grinned. Toad grimaced and looked away. Zoey laughed. "Oh, you poor thing! I'll bet she made you model all this for her, right? Just grabbing your face and twisting it around so she can get a good angle? She's horrible, isn't she? Looks just like you, though." Toad raised an eyebrow, nonplused. She walked over to him. "Hey, Gab's apartment is boring. How 'bout coming back to my dorm and modeling for me?" she suggested with a playfully seductive grin. Toad felt the color leaving his face. Yes, he now had proof. The world had indeed gone mad. Where was that b*tchy roommate of Gabby's?--He needed someone around who hated him just to help things make sense.

"Okay, that's enough of the Estrogen Brigade for now, Zoey-love," said Gabby, smiling a bit too sweetly and guiding her friend away from the bewildered Toad. He blinked and stood up.

"I'm gonna get a drink," he said abruptly, wanting to put some space between him and the normals. Gabby just nodded and started setting out the food. He fumbled around in the kitchen, taking his time. Even with his back to the living room, he could still hear them quietly talking.

"So, what's he like?" whispered Zoey.

"Mmph." The verbal equivalent of a shrug. "He's nice enough when he feels like it, but he clams up a lot." A soft chuckle. "Can be a real pain if he wants to." A pause, considering. "He's a pretty cool guy, I guess."

Toad checked through the cabinets, trying to ignore them. A few boxes of tea. More of that herbal crap, orange...Earl Grey. He picked up the box and searched for a mug, wishing that the girls would shut up. 'Nice enough?' That was probably the best thing anyone had said about him in a long while. And as to being a pain...who was she to talk?

"He hasn't...tried anything, has he?" Quieter. He almost hadn't heard her.

"He can hardly move, Zoe. Anyway, I don't think he would." Heat the water. Oh he wouldn't, would he? He sneered. They really had no idea of who he was.

"So, what happened to him?"

"Hell if he'll tell me. I ask him the wrong question and he just glares and sulks." Toad frowned. He did not sulk. He forced himself to listened to the whirr of the microwave until it beeped and he took the mug out, then snatched his hand back, sucking on injured fingers. Hot!

"Still," Zoey suggested slyly. "He's kinda cute, once you get used to--"

"You," interrupted Gabby. "Are a walking estrogen factory."

"And you," countered Zoey sweetly. "Are blushing."

He poured the water over the teabag and got some milk out of the fridge, listening to Gabby's mortified protests and her friend's laughter, neither of which were very quiet anymore. Yup, weird sh*t overload had been reached. Just ignore whatever they said, that's the way to deal with nuts, right? Walking back into the room, he gave them both a sour look that said he had heard everything. Gabby winked at him and turned back to her friend.

"And...he's British," she confided in a stage whisper, causing the red-head to giggle.

"If you're both done," he said with a hard grin, sitting down on the far side of the couch. Gabby sat down next to him, looking apologetic. He scootched further away and ignored her, blowing on his tea. The sooner he could get out of here to where people behaved normally, the better.

"Look, Todd, we're just joking..."she began.

"Well, leave me out of it." He didn't feel like dealing with her bubbly attitude right now. And he had been right; Zoey was even worse.

"So...what do we wanna watch?" chirruped the red-head, trying to break the sullen silence that had settled over them. Gabby looked at the movies her friend had brought.

"Mmph, I've seen all these. Let Todd pick." He raised his head with an expression of practiced boredom and studied the movies.

"Eh...I've never seen Episode I," he said. Zoey bounced excitedly, looked ecstatic at the thought of watching her favorite movie.

"You're not missing a thing," said Gabby flatly, earning a pout from her friend. "'Cept maybe Darth Maul, but the writing was absolute crap. Disgraces the name of Star Wars. Now, y'want an epic..." She grinned and pointed at a green box on the dresser. "Fellowship of the Ring, Extended Edition."

"Extended?" Toad remembered seeing it in the theater, one of the few movies he'd ever bother to see. Magneto had told him that the struggle of the fellowship was akin to their own, the forces of Mordor had been the humans, and the One Ring, the power that the humans held over them. Load of shyte, really, but it had been a cool movie. Zoey groaned.

"Don't let her! It's four hours long!"

"This one then?" He pointed to one titled Dogma--it looked like the only one that wasn't a chick-flick outside of Star Wars. Gabby and Zoe looked at each other and shrugged agreeably.

"Sure. Kinda helps to be Catholic if y'wanna get some of the jokes, though."

"I was raised Catholic." He gave her a wry look.

"Oh, well, in it goes. Not easily offended by swear words, I hope."

It was funny, he had to admit. He liked movies, when he got to see them, which was rare. Mostly, he was only able to see whatever TNT played. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd seen Lethal Weapon. But Mel Gibson was really cool, so he didn't mind much.

But it felt really weird, wrong almost, just sitting around, watching a movie and eating chicken chow mein with friends (Not his friends, he reminded himself). It was too much like what a normal would do...hell, it was exactly what a normal would do. He felt a pang. Magneto was still alive, whatever had happened to the rest. Didn't that mean he was betraying them? Even if Magneto never escaped (Don't think that! Don't you dare even think that!), didn't he owe the man who had saved him something? Carrying on in his name or some crap like that? At very least, he should not be fraternizing with humans like one of them. Not unless it was for a mission or something. And try as he might, he couldn't possibly see a way that fumbling with chopsticks while Jason Mews cursed a blue streak could help further the Cause.

And then there was Gabby. And Zoey, too, but Gabby was the worst, so far. Treating him like a normal human--well, a normal human and a poseable mannequin. But sometimes she reminded him of... he shook his head, trying to clear out the memory. It wasn't important who she reminded him of. The point was it was wrong. He knew what his place in this world dominated by humans was. Hell, he didn't bother to delude himself. He knew what his place would be even if the world was run by mutants. And it didn't involve people being nice. Bad things happened when people were nice.

He shivered. When had the room gotten so cold? He glanced enviously at Gabby, curled up under a thick blanket on the other side of the couch and hunched over, trying to warm himself. Zoey was giving the television a somewhat glassy look from her chair, as if she was only awake on auto pilot. He yawned and tried to get comfortable.

"Here." Part of the blanket got thrown across the couch. He stared at it, puzzled, then looked to Gabby. "It's big. You look cold." He nodded, feeling kind of fuzzy, and settled it over himself. Well, with all the transgressions he'd already had, one more on his record wasn't going to hurt. If God was planning on smiting the crap out of him for acting like he deserved a good life, then He probably had enough to go on by now. Anyway, he was too tired to care.

"But I have a pretty good idea..." said Bethany on the screen. The movie was going blurry now. He yawned again and felt himself drifting off.



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Apologies again...Originally this was going to have a lot more action and less sitting around and moping. Maybe I'll go back and fix it when my muse decides to let me. I see him as still being very put off by Gabby (and Zoey now), but I'm having trouble keeping it from being redundant. I really do think part of him doesn't believe he's capable of having a good/normal life...I know people like that. Unfortunately, it gets old.

Um, Bethany is the main character in Dogma. That's one of the last lines she's saying.

Blearg....back to angst next chapter. Taking a brief glimpse at a very important figure in Toad's past.