A/N: Was really difficult to write because I never really saw the scenes of
Jason with Michael or when Carly lived with him under the pretense that he
was Michael's father. I tried and I hope this is okay.
~*~*~*~
I pulled slightly away and looked up in his eyes and saw that something was different. His eyes were the cold ones he used when he was around anyone else. Why was he using them around me?
"What's wrong?" I asked, startled.
He pulled away from me and said in a vacant voice, "I can't do this. You made your choice."
"What choice?" I asked, confused.
"You chose Lucky." He said, looking directly into my eyes.
"Jason, it's over with Lucky." I offered, "Especially now."
I could not read his response so I continued, "Lucky is with Sarah. My choice . . . I want to be with you."
"Why did you tell Lucky that you loved him?"
I was startled that he knew what had gone on between Lucky and I. But I was confused as to how he knew.
"Because I do, I will always love Lucky. He was my first love." I started, and as I said it I met his eyes and saw the look of my words ripping out his heart, "But I'm not going to lie to him or myself anymore, I want to be with you. I've wanted to be with you for so long. I told you this before you left. What I don't understand is why you left."
He said nothing and stood stolid. I took his hand and he looked at me quizzically but allowed me to lead him to the couch. We both sat down.
"What was so important that you got Sonny to contact me?" He asked, I was unable to read his expression.
Before I could say anything there was a knock at the door. I jumped, startled, and Jason could read how tense I was. He looked at me with concerned eyes and all I could do was muster a tentative smile before going towards the door.
To my surprise, it was Sarah. As soon as I had the door and inch opened she pushed her way in and stopped short when she noticed Jason on the couch.
"I should have guessed," She started and turned back towards me, "That you would go to him before you went to Lucky. From what I hear, that's your pattern."
What the hell was she talking about? Why was she even here? She had not even attempted to visit me while I was at Windamere, why here, why now?
"Sarah . . . leave." I said, insistently.
She turned her nose up at me, the high and mighty pose I was all too familiar with.
"You can go ahead and mess up your life as much as you want, but what about Lucky? What do you think he is going to do when he finds out? You think you can just tell him that it's Jason's and he'll back off? He's not dumb, Lizzie, he will figure it out. And if you lie to him then I am going to tell him."
She cannot be referring to what I think she is referring to. How did she know? I looked at Jason to make sure he did not assume anything from what Sarah had said. He looked at me concerned as though he was unsure if he should step up and defend me. I shook my head, Sarah I could handle, just as long as she did not let anything slip.
"I've been completely honest with Lucky." I offered.
"He would have told me if he knew, Lizzie." She scoffed, "He would be watching over you like a hawk if he knew your condition."
I glanced at Jason and noticed his interest had piqued.
"Sarah, I don't care what you think. Tell yourself whatever lies you want to, I don't care. But you have no right to dictate my life or judge me. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror at the person you've become before you attempt to analyze my life." I offered immediately.
But Sarah ignored me and turned to Jason, "I know how you lied for Carly but I will not allow you to lie for Lizzie. Lucky deserves the truth. I am going to tell him."
She stormed off and I was frozen in place, unable to stop her. I was afraid to meet Jason's eyes.
He was the one whom got off the couch and shut the door. Then he stood in front of me and eventually took his hand and lifted my jaw so that our eyes met.
"Don't let her get to you, Elizabeth." He offered, sensitively.
"I did not want it to be this way . . . I did not want you to find out this way. I'm sorry." I offered as I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.
A few fell and he brushed them away with his thumbs.
"She did not have to say it." He offered and immediately my gaze froze with his.
After a minute of silence he continued, "I saw it in your eyes the moment I walked it. It was the first time you ever reminded me of Carly . . . You had the same look she did when she came to the door that day. And when you stood up against Sarah, your hand was on your stomach the entire time."
I could not believe it.
"So, you know . . . and you're okay with this?" I asked, surprised.
"Are you?" He started, concerned, "It's your body. It's your choice."
I let myself lean against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me so delicately. The tears came again and I let them fall.
"I was so afraid, Jason . . . I never thought I would see you again. I was afraid that you'd push me away, that you would be afraid that your life might harm the baby . . ." I rambled.
"Have you told Lucky?" He asked, his voice emotionless.
"I assume that Sarah is taking care of it as we speak." I offered, letting out a shallow sound that almost sounded like a laugh.
I pulled away, suddenly realizing that Jason had misinterpreted the situation. He looked down at me, confused as to why I pulled away.
"Jason, the baby is ours. Yours and mine." I offered.
He looked startled, "Are you sure? You and I were only together once."
I felt myself blush slightly, "You're the only one I've been with recently."
I cannot read his expression. I'm not sure if he is happy, concerned, or upset.
"Jason, if you're not sure that this is what you want right now, no one else needs to know that you are the father. I can move in with my grandmother or do this alone if this is not what you want." I offered, concerned by the fact he did not seemed overjoyed, or at least somewhat happy with the news.
"Jason, I understand if you need some time . . ." I continued, his expression blank.
He immediately went into protective mode, "Does anyone else know besides Sarah?"
"Lucky, if she's told him. Bobbie is the one who ran the test, so she knows. And Nikolas."
"You should pack." He offered, immediately, seeming distracted.
"For where?" I asked, confused.
"I don't know yet. You should go to one of the safe houses, somewhere that you will be safe. Preferably outside Port Charles."
"Jason . . ." I started.
He turned and read my confusion, "I have to make sure that you are safe. I don't want my life touching you. If the wrong person finds out, you could be in danger. I won't risk it. I won't risk loosing you . . . or our baby."
*Our baby* I cannot believe it.
"I want to stay in Port Charles." I insisted, knowing that I would like to be close to my grandmother during this time.
He did not have to say anything because I knew that he would agree. He was always asking me what I wanted and now I knew to tell him before he had to ask.
"We could leave now and I can get Johnny to come for your things when we find a place . . ." He started, looking away.
I grabbed his arm and he turned to look at me, our eyes met.
"What does this mean for us, Jason? I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything."
He looked at me confused so I continued.
"It took us so long to get here, Jason. I guess I'm just afraid that you'll push me away again; that you'll think that is best. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. If your not sure about this, you can take your time. I completely understand if this comes a shock to you."
He took my hand delicately and led me to the couch to sit down. He met my eyes directly before he began.
"I never thought I would be a father. My job is not one that is for someone with a family . . ." He paused, "But it can been done. I just do not want for my life . . . I do not want an innocent baby to hurt because of this life . . . because of me."
He looked away as though afraid to meet my eyes but finally he allowed himself to look at me again.
"Jason, you know that I would never ask you to leave your job. I know how much it means to you. I know that your life can be dangerous but I am confidant that you are capable of keeping * us * safe."
He noticeably tensed, "There was a bomb in this room because of me. My enemies have no conscience, Elizabeth, and do not care who they hurt in the process as long as they get their point across. They would not hesitate to hurt you and I won't risk putting you in more danger."
"They already know that I mean something to you Jason, we've been through this before, pushing me away only ends up causing pain for the two of us. This time is different Jason, there are three of * us * now. I promise to do everything you say, I'll have twenty guards if that is what you want . . ."
"I never wanted to push you away." He offered.
"Then don't." I replied.
He leisurely wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his arms. He held me there for what seemed like an eternity. We both said nothing and just allowed myself to lean into him and listen to the beating of his heart.
He planted a single kiss on my forehead and whispered, "I love you. I'm not going anywhere."
~*~*~*~
I pulled slightly away and looked up in his eyes and saw that something was different. His eyes were the cold ones he used when he was around anyone else. Why was he using them around me?
"What's wrong?" I asked, startled.
He pulled away from me and said in a vacant voice, "I can't do this. You made your choice."
"What choice?" I asked, confused.
"You chose Lucky." He said, looking directly into my eyes.
"Jason, it's over with Lucky." I offered, "Especially now."
I could not read his response so I continued, "Lucky is with Sarah. My choice . . . I want to be with you."
"Why did you tell Lucky that you loved him?"
I was startled that he knew what had gone on between Lucky and I. But I was confused as to how he knew.
"Because I do, I will always love Lucky. He was my first love." I started, and as I said it I met his eyes and saw the look of my words ripping out his heart, "But I'm not going to lie to him or myself anymore, I want to be with you. I've wanted to be with you for so long. I told you this before you left. What I don't understand is why you left."
He said nothing and stood stolid. I took his hand and he looked at me quizzically but allowed me to lead him to the couch. We both sat down.
"What was so important that you got Sonny to contact me?" He asked, I was unable to read his expression.
Before I could say anything there was a knock at the door. I jumped, startled, and Jason could read how tense I was. He looked at me with concerned eyes and all I could do was muster a tentative smile before going towards the door.
To my surprise, it was Sarah. As soon as I had the door and inch opened she pushed her way in and stopped short when she noticed Jason on the couch.
"I should have guessed," She started and turned back towards me, "That you would go to him before you went to Lucky. From what I hear, that's your pattern."
What the hell was she talking about? Why was she even here? She had not even attempted to visit me while I was at Windamere, why here, why now?
"Sarah . . . leave." I said, insistently.
She turned her nose up at me, the high and mighty pose I was all too familiar with.
"You can go ahead and mess up your life as much as you want, but what about Lucky? What do you think he is going to do when he finds out? You think you can just tell him that it's Jason's and he'll back off? He's not dumb, Lizzie, he will figure it out. And if you lie to him then I am going to tell him."
She cannot be referring to what I think she is referring to. How did she know? I looked at Jason to make sure he did not assume anything from what Sarah had said. He looked at me concerned as though he was unsure if he should step up and defend me. I shook my head, Sarah I could handle, just as long as she did not let anything slip.
"I've been completely honest with Lucky." I offered.
"He would have told me if he knew, Lizzie." She scoffed, "He would be watching over you like a hawk if he knew your condition."
I glanced at Jason and noticed his interest had piqued.
"Sarah, I don't care what you think. Tell yourself whatever lies you want to, I don't care. But you have no right to dictate my life or judge me. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror at the person you've become before you attempt to analyze my life." I offered immediately.
But Sarah ignored me and turned to Jason, "I know how you lied for Carly but I will not allow you to lie for Lizzie. Lucky deserves the truth. I am going to tell him."
She stormed off and I was frozen in place, unable to stop her. I was afraid to meet Jason's eyes.
He was the one whom got off the couch and shut the door. Then he stood in front of me and eventually took his hand and lifted my jaw so that our eyes met.
"Don't let her get to you, Elizabeth." He offered, sensitively.
"I did not want it to be this way . . . I did not want you to find out this way. I'm sorry." I offered as I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.
A few fell and he brushed them away with his thumbs.
"She did not have to say it." He offered and immediately my gaze froze with his.
After a minute of silence he continued, "I saw it in your eyes the moment I walked it. It was the first time you ever reminded me of Carly . . . You had the same look she did when she came to the door that day. And when you stood up against Sarah, your hand was on your stomach the entire time."
I could not believe it.
"So, you know . . . and you're okay with this?" I asked, surprised.
"Are you?" He started, concerned, "It's your body. It's your choice."
I let myself lean against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me so delicately. The tears came again and I let them fall.
"I was so afraid, Jason . . . I never thought I would see you again. I was afraid that you'd push me away, that you would be afraid that your life might harm the baby . . ." I rambled.
"Have you told Lucky?" He asked, his voice emotionless.
"I assume that Sarah is taking care of it as we speak." I offered, letting out a shallow sound that almost sounded like a laugh.
I pulled away, suddenly realizing that Jason had misinterpreted the situation. He looked down at me, confused as to why I pulled away.
"Jason, the baby is ours. Yours and mine." I offered.
He looked startled, "Are you sure? You and I were only together once."
I felt myself blush slightly, "You're the only one I've been with recently."
I cannot read his expression. I'm not sure if he is happy, concerned, or upset.
"Jason, if you're not sure that this is what you want right now, no one else needs to know that you are the father. I can move in with my grandmother or do this alone if this is not what you want." I offered, concerned by the fact he did not seemed overjoyed, or at least somewhat happy with the news.
"Jason, I understand if you need some time . . ." I continued, his expression blank.
He immediately went into protective mode, "Does anyone else know besides Sarah?"
"Lucky, if she's told him. Bobbie is the one who ran the test, so she knows. And Nikolas."
"You should pack." He offered, immediately, seeming distracted.
"For where?" I asked, confused.
"I don't know yet. You should go to one of the safe houses, somewhere that you will be safe. Preferably outside Port Charles."
"Jason . . ." I started.
He turned and read my confusion, "I have to make sure that you are safe. I don't want my life touching you. If the wrong person finds out, you could be in danger. I won't risk it. I won't risk loosing you . . . or our baby."
*Our baby* I cannot believe it.
"I want to stay in Port Charles." I insisted, knowing that I would like to be close to my grandmother during this time.
He did not have to say anything because I knew that he would agree. He was always asking me what I wanted and now I knew to tell him before he had to ask.
"We could leave now and I can get Johnny to come for your things when we find a place . . ." He started, looking away.
I grabbed his arm and he turned to look at me, our eyes met.
"What does this mean for us, Jason? I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything."
He looked at me confused so I continued.
"It took us so long to get here, Jason. I guess I'm just afraid that you'll push me away again; that you'll think that is best. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. If your not sure about this, you can take your time. I completely understand if this comes a shock to you."
He took my hand delicately and led me to the couch to sit down. He met my eyes directly before he began.
"I never thought I would be a father. My job is not one that is for someone with a family . . ." He paused, "But it can been done. I just do not want for my life . . . I do not want an innocent baby to hurt because of this life . . . because of me."
He looked away as though afraid to meet my eyes but finally he allowed himself to look at me again.
"Jason, you know that I would never ask you to leave your job. I know how much it means to you. I know that your life can be dangerous but I am confidant that you are capable of keeping * us * safe."
He noticeably tensed, "There was a bomb in this room because of me. My enemies have no conscience, Elizabeth, and do not care who they hurt in the process as long as they get their point across. They would not hesitate to hurt you and I won't risk putting you in more danger."
"They already know that I mean something to you Jason, we've been through this before, pushing me away only ends up causing pain for the two of us. This time is different Jason, there are three of * us * now. I promise to do everything you say, I'll have twenty guards if that is what you want . . ."
"I never wanted to push you away." He offered.
"Then don't." I replied.
He leisurely wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his arms. He held me there for what seemed like an eternity. We both said nothing and just allowed myself to lean into him and listen to the beating of his heart.
He planted a single kiss on my forehead and whispered, "I love you. I'm not going anywhere."