Yu-Gi-Oh! The Stuff We Never Hear

A/N: My very first Yu-Gi-Oh! fiction; first published 06/24/02 and completed as of 12/04/04. That's nearly three years in the making! And here I am, three more years later finally fixing the text bunching problem! : ) Hehe, anyway, all I have to say is if you read this, I hope you'll enjoy it! What a fun fiction to write! Enjoy!

Pairings: Seto Kaiba x Téa Gardner

Warnings: Language, craziness, OOC-ness, randomness : )

Type: Multi-chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!; Kazuki Takahashi does. I will never own it. If you sued me, you would get nothing because I have nothing. : )

Chapter I: On Set

It was a beautiful day in the Duelist Kingdom. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and Téa, Joey, Yugi, Tristan, and Bakura were poking fun at each other.

"Joey, shut up! Please!" said Téa Gardner.

Joey put on his, 'I am innocent, don't yell at me,' face. "It's not my fault you're so grouchy today," he replied, smirking.

Téa was about to smack Joey in the face, when there came a rustling sound in the near by bushes.

"What was that?!" Téa asked, looking scared.

"That wasn't in the script!" said Yugi, looking annoyed.

"No kidding," commented Bakura, in his British accent.

"God, you guys. It's just some noises," said Tristan.

"CUT!" yelled the director. "You've got it all wrong! Those aren't your lines and there isn't supposed to be anyone in the bushes. Whoever you are, come out this instant!" he finished.

Seto Kaiba came out of the bushes looking sheepish. "Er…um…" was all he managed to spit out.

"Mr. Kaiba, can you please explain yourself?" said the director.

"I read ahead a few episodes, and it says here, I'm supposed to get my soul taken by 'Cartoon-Happy' Pegasus! That is so not fair!" Kaiba exclaimed.

"That still doesn't explain why you were in the bushes," said the director, getting down-right mad.

"I was going to make a 'special' appearance, hoping you would add it in the script," said Kaiba, his face twisted into the usual smirk.

"Well, too bad," said the director. "Go back to your hotel room, and rest up for tomorrow's episode," the director said.

While all this was going on, Téa was staring at Kaiba dreamily. "He's so cute!" she accidentally exclaimed out loud, letting the whole world know.

Kaiba turned to stare at her. "Oh, my God. What did you just say?"

Everyone, even the director, looked stupidified.

"Um…" said Téa, looking nervous.

"I could smack her for saying that," said Joey, feeling jealous.

"Well, you're pretty cute yourself," said Kaiba, first smirking at her, then winking, eventually walking away.

"Wow!" said Téa, with stars shining in her eyes.

"I didn't know you liked him," commented Yugi.

"This is so not in the script, " muttered the director to himself.

"Oh, shut up Mr. Director person!" said Téa. "I'm happy so leave me alone!"

Just then, Joey pulled out a Big Mac. "Yummy!" he exclaimed taking a bite out of it.

"Oh, no. Joseph, you're not supposed to eat whatever you want! Those things are fattening! We can't have you gaining weight! You must stay fit!"

"Yeah, Joey. Remember this!" Bakura took out a 'before' shot and an 'after' shot. The 'before' one showed Joey looking like a big doughnut ball. The 'after' shot showed Joey looking how he is now.

"Give me that!" said Joey, still eating the burger. "Burn it."

The director laughed.

Téa ran off to find Kaiba.

Joey ran to his dressing room, crying and screaming that he wasn't a doughnut ball.

Tristan had a heart attack and died. (AN: No, he didn't. I was just trying to get your attention! He really went after Téa. LOL. )

Bakura said, "Oh brother," and sat down on the ground.

Yugi ran off to find Joey.

"No! This is wrong! All wrong, wrong, wrong!" said the director, bursting into tears.

What will happen? Will the director get his wish? Will Kaiba and Téa become an item? Find out in the next chapter!

A/N: Mwhaha! My first Yu-Gi-Oh! fic! I hope to have the next chapter up soon. We're just finishing up final exams at my school. Haha, should I put Kaiba torturing in it? Awh, that wouldn't be very nice since Kaiba is my favorite character! Oh, well! Review and tell me if there should be or not! Constructive criticism, please. Anyway, see you all soon!

Blue-Kool-Aid