Author: Toxic Loser

Title: Double trouble

Summery: Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find out.

Rating: PG.... still

Paring: You'll never guess! Bwahahaha. Its someone who you won't expect to get a partner. What a stingy clue!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, Dracula or Darren Shan (all vampire books) and thats why I'm so poor! I don't own the term Haruko guitar, it's a term about the guitar of the character Haruko, from FLCL.

A/N Ummm, yeah. Hello, I'm back to drown your brain in weirdness.... again. I have another story out to. Called Nein Danke means no thanks. I wrote it in English. I've been writing allot. I started a drabble, before but that drabble has expanded into a seven page story. I love writing, mostly about vampires. I really don't know why I like to write so much, because I'm that good at it.

Dedication: For Naruko and Multi colour, the bitches who are making me buy Xmas presents, when I don't believe in the holiday.

Chapter seven: Are you afraid of spiders?

Angela woke looking at the ceiling. It was dark in her room, so she went to open the window. It didn't do any good, because she then realised that the sun had already set.

"Shit," she gasped and threw on some clothes, before she ran downstairs. She turned a corner and ran into someone one. "Oh my god, I'm like so sorry".

The person smiled and replied, "It's about time, Angela".

Angela groaned, "I'm so sorry, Seras. I just woke up and yeah," she paused and looked around. "It's quiet. Too quiet. Where's Lilly?"

Seras shrugged, "I don't know. I think she's drawing again".

Angela shook her head, "I doubt it. If she was drawing we would have heard it. Lets investigate". She and Seras crept into the living room. They looked around to find a wall of books surrounding the couch. "Aha!" Angela shouted pointing at the back of Lilly's head, which was visible over the wall of books.

Lilly turned, "Aha, what?" she asked.

"You're plotting something!" Angela shouted.

Lilly rolled her eyes, "Yes, I'm plotting to read in silence," she answered sarcastically.

Seras stared at Lilly's book, "What are you reading?"

"Dracula," she answered. "Walter lent it to me, so I lent him Darren Shan."

"I doubt thats all your doing," accused Angela. "From you've told me of those stupid Darren Shan books, is there's a dude that becomes a vampire. Then he finds a spider and sets it free in a mountain. They all get happy and make him a prince, so he can kill some guy that holds a spatular. It doesn't seem like a very good book. It doesn't seem like an actual book, at all".

Lilly grinned, "Madame Octa's behind you," she said and gave a laugh.

Seras and Angela exchanged glances, "What exactly is a Madame Octa?" asked Seras.

Angela turned and saw a giant spider, "SPIDER!" she shrieked and jumped into Seras arms. Seras took one look at the spider, shrieked and dropped Angela. In a matter of minutes, both girls had jumped up on the table and Lilly was laughing her head off.

"Whats going on here?" asked Alucard, appearing from a wall.

Seras and Angela blushed and answered, "There was a giant spider".

Lilly looked up from her book and smiled, "We'll save you damsels in distress from the evil spider. You're death shall be avenged". Then she burst out in her strange laughter. "Come on Alucard we're going to kill that horrible spider. I'm going to get some stuff from my room, meet me back here and find me a Haruko guitar, well actually, any guitar will do".

Alucard nodded and disappeared.

(Ten minutes later)

Lilly sat on the couch, holding a can of fly spray and a baseball cap. Alucard appeared and held a guitar out for her.

Lilly took it and observed it, "Where did you get this?"

He smiled, "Captain Bernadette".

Lilly grinned wickedly and said, "Let the hunt begin. Lets go," she said and walked up the stair case to Integra's office. "There," she whispered, pointing to the spider hanging from the ceiling. "Oh, shit, Walter's there. Go over there and when I say shoot, shoot the spider. Then what I'll do is spray it with fly spray and put it into my cap, until we find a real coffin for it."

Walter noticed Lilly whispering to Alucard and waved, "Hello," then the spider dropped.

Lilly jumped, "Shoot," she yelled at Alucard who took out the casual and shot the spider. "I've got it!" Lilly yelled and ran to Walter. She raised the cap and caught the spider in it. "Aha! You stupid spider. You thought you could defeat me!"

Walter glanced from Lilly to Alucard and said, "Why exactly were you hunting a spider?"

Before Alucard could answer, Lilly handed him the spider, "Be right back," with that she ran to her room and came back with a black shoe box. She took the spider and put it into the box. Closing the lid, she took a whiteout pen and wrote on the lid of the shoebox; 'the bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me'.

Walter and Alucard took one look at the box and had to stifle their laughter, "Are we going to keep this in the basement, as well?" asked Walter.

Lilly shook her head, "Madame Octa deserves a proper funeral. This is where the guitar comes in and since I can't play death march I'll play another song," Lilly said, and started to strum the guitar.

"Isn't it time for you to go to sleep?" Seras voice was heard coming from the stairs.

"Yeah," replied Angela.

Lilly heard their voices and decided, "You can bury it if you want, I'm going to sleep, bye." With that Lilly ran up to her room.

A/N Crappy ending. If you don't know why Pip has a guitar, read the manga. It's got a pic of him and a guitar somewhere. I like Pip. He's kewl... and French.