Chapter IX: Malik's Miseries and Téa's Breakdown

"What happened, Malik?" asked Yugi.

Malik looked like he was going to burst into tears. Then he did.

"Oh, my God, Malik! What's wrong?" asked Téa.

Malik looked at Téa and sniffed. "I was checking out the set this morning, and I stumbled upon a lone bush. And... and..." Malik started crying again.

"And, what, Malik? Just spit it out. You're being a baby," grumbled Joey.

Malik immediately halted his crying and glared at Joey. "Shut up, Joseph. Or I'll beat you to a pulp," smirked Malik.

Joey shut his mouth and took a few steps back.

"That's better," said Malik. Then he continued with his story. His eyes got all watery again. "And in the bush was... was... a half eaten hot dog!" he sobbed.

It was then that Kaiba burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that he had tears in his eyes.

"What's so funny?" boomed Malik.

"You're crying over a hot dog! So were they!" Kaiba roared with laughter and pointed to the gang.

"Kaiba, this is serious. That poor hot dog," said Téa.

Kaiba continued to laugh. "Oh, and Malik? There's something you should know about that hot dog. It was MINE."

Malik gasped. "I'm going to kill you! I'll chop you into pieces! Then, I'll chop your pieces into pieces!" Malik got ready to charge at Kaiba.

"Whoa, calm down Egyptian Boy! Take a few deep breaths. Breathe in and out," said Kaiba.

Malik did as Kaiba told him and eventually calmed down. "I think I took an overdose of drugs this morning," said Malik. "I was crying over a HOT DOG. What's wrong with me?" he muttered.

"Everything," Téa muttered back.

"I heard that," Malik said, his eyes narrowing.

Téa shrugged to show she didn't care.

"Thanks for caring," said Malik sarcastically.

"Oh, you're ever so welcome," Téa shot back, just as sarcastically.

Malik stuck his tongue out at Téa and walked out of the living room.

"That was strange," commented Joey.

"Yeah, almost as strange as the Evil Lemon incident," agreed Tristan.

Everyone looked at Tristan.

"What? Don't look at me like that. It's not my fault someone drugged my doughnut," replied Tristan.

Téa started staring off into space. "I want a limo," she said strangely.

Kaiba looked at Téa. "O.O"

"And I want to be rich, too, while I'm at it," she continued dreamily.

This time, everyone looked at Téa. "0.0"

Téa looked at Kaiba with a weird look on her face. "All work and no pay make Téa a dull girl."

Kaiba stared back. "Erm. Are you alright?"

"NO! It's not fair! I WANT MORE PAY!" yelled Téa.

Everyone, once again, stared at Téa. "O.O"

Téa got up from her place on the couch, and walked over to where Kaiba was sitting.

"Yes?" Kaiba said.

Téa poked him in the chest. "Why is it that you get more money than the rest of us? WHY? Tell me, dammit!"

"Oh, God. Not this again," said Kaiba.

"I want to know!" Téa grabbed Kaiba's shirt collar and pulled him towards her, so he was now standing up.

"Téa, I swear that I don't get any more money than you do. I'm telling the truth!" cried Kaiba.

"Yeah, what ever you say, Money Bags," replied Téa as she shoved him away.

"Téa, I really like you. But right now, I think you're being such a bit - " Kaiba was cut off.

"That's enough of that," said Bakura, looking nervous.

"I know what you were going to say, Kaiba. How dare you even think of calling me a bit - " Téa was cut off too.

Yami had taken over Yugi. "Enough fighting, you two. I'm sure we all get the same amount of money."

Téa sat down again. "Yeah, sure," she said angrily.

Kaiba muttered something unpleasant, then stared at the wall.

Everyone was silent for about ten minutes.

Then, out of nowhere came Donkey, from Shrek. He said to the gang, "Then there's that big awkward silence, you know?" With that, Donkey left.

Everyone looked where Donkey had been standing. "O.O"

"Okay, that was probably the freakiest thing I've ever seen," said Yami.

"O.O"

"NO! RUN FOR YOUR GOD DAMN LIVES! THE EVIL LEMON WILL KILL YOU!" shouted Tristan.

"Um, Tristan, are you okay? asked Joey.

Tristan sweat-dropped. "I'm just fine. I was trying to get your attention," he said sheepishly.

"O.O"

"Well, this has been an interesting night," said Bakura.

"Yeah," agreed everyone.

Just then, they all heard singing. "When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair. 'Cause I might open my eyes and find someone standing there. Maybe I'm crazy, or just a little touched. But maybe showers remind me of Psycho too much."

They all looked at each other. Who could be singing that song?

"Erm," said Téa. "We should go check it out."

Everyone nodded and walked towards the song.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shrek or its characters. I also don't own Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell.

A/N: Hey, all! I hope you liked that chapter. :D I try really hard to make them funny. Agh. If it's not funny, I'm sorry. -kneels before her reviewers!- Lol. Sorry it took so long to update, I was on a trip. I'll try to get my other story, Burning Cold, updated as soon as possible. I wrote three chapters in the car, by hand! X.X And they are very long chapters. I'm talking at least seven pages each. Lol! Well, maybe not that long. :D

anime-luver: Lol! I think I did take the Jackie Chan thing from your story. I couldn't remember where I heard it! Lol! Now, I know.

To all my new and old reviewers: Thanks a bunch! I'm so going to thank each of you individually at the end of this fic! I luv ya guys! -huggles all of her reviewers-

To the Anonymous reviewer: I don't know who you are because you never put a name. But you are the one that wrote, "Get the rest of the damn fic up now, you idiot!" Plus, you submitted three times. No offense or anything, but calling me an idiot is not going to make me get the fic up faster. Sorry, I had to say so.

Well, bye everyone! And see you all in the next chapter!

Blue-Kool-Aid