Author's Note: Hi there! Lil here! I hope you enjoy this cute little fic that is sure to get you in the holiday spirit!Please review, they make me smile! Oh, and I have nothing against fruitcake, but I think I am the only one in the world who likes it! And yes, I know Starsky's Jewish, but work with me here, people.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the fruitcake which was the inspiration for this fic, and my roomate's reaction to it was about the same as Hutch's when I gave him a piece to try, lol!
The Curse of Christmas Fruitcake!
Hutch was walking into Huggy's one fine winter afternoon. He was going there because Starsky had called and said to meet him there for a surprise. Upon entering, he sees his partner in their usual booth, eating, as always. Everything seems normal as they exchange greetings and Hutch sits down. Indeed, everything is fine, until he glances down to see what his partner is munching on. Hutch lets out a scream, terrified at the sight of the fiendish food! It is none other than the dreaded… Christmas fruitcake!
Hutch has been scared stiff of the disgusting holiday snack food ever since the Great Fruitcake Accident of 1949! He was just a kid, and his clumsy sister Karen had accidentally dropped the offensive, and heavy, food on his foot, breaking all of his toes! His family had spent Christmas Eve in the hospital that year. Now, faced with the ferocious fruitcake again, he tries to run, but with no success. He is pulled back by his partner and forced back into his seat.
"Hey, Hutch, you're not gonna leave without seein' your surprise, are ya?", Starsky asks him. Hutch no longer cares about his surprise, and just wants to put as much distance between himself and the heavy holiday horror as possible! "Starsk, what are you doing with that thing?", he asks his oblivious partner, "Don't you know how dangerous those things are?" Starsky shoots him a strange glance, then realized what his partner is looking at. "Fruitcake, dangerous? Haha, good one, Hutch!", he says, "My mom made me this fruitcake and sent it here all the way from New York! Here, try some! It's the best!"
Before Hutch has the chance to get away, a large chunk of the terrible traditional treat is shoved into his mouth. Almost gagging, Hutch manages to somehow chew it, and miraculously, swallow, with much difficulty. "What do you think?", his partner asks. "Oh, Starsky, it's awf-", he starts to say, but upon seeing the crushed look on his friend's face, quickly says, "It's awfully good, Starsk! It's really, um, delicious!" Starsky grins and says, "That's terrific! I'm glad you like it!" "Why?", asks Hutch, jokingly, "Is that fruitcake my big surprise?" "Of course not!", replies his happy friend, "Here's your surprise!"
He then picks up a brown package with Hutch's name written on it and sets it on the table. Hutch opens it excitedly to reveal… a lumpy, brown, brick-like mass with dots of color in it. "Mom made you one, too!", Starsky announces happily, "Isn't that terrific?" His answer is another scream, this one filled with pain, as the table collapses on Hutch's feet under the added weight of the second cake. "Oops!", says Starsky, realizing what happened, "Um, c'mon partner, I'll drive ya to the Emergency Room!"
It looks like Hutch will be spending another Christmas Eve in the hospital, thanks to the appalling and frightening fruitcake ! This serves as a warning to all of you, be careful what you eat, you just might end up a victim of the Curse of Christmas Fruitcake! Take my advice, don't risk your life for a tradition, ban the dangerous dessert from your happy holiday household and save your family a trip to the hospital this Christmas Eve!