Chapter 20
Em's place turned out to be an old two car garage with a workshop on one side and a place for the van on the other. Her living space above the garage was surprisingly spacious. It had a little utility kitchen and a discrete bathroom in one corner. A futon which was probably her bed as well sat in the middle of the room. In one corner a large familiar looking TV was filled with bright tropical fish and a little fishing boat bobbing on the surface.
"Hey! You finished it!" Gordon shucked off his coat and went to tap on the glass. The fisherman waved a fist at him angrily. "Oh, Em that is priceless! My father would love to see this. How did you..." He stopped and turned seeing her over by the kitchen unit.
"You want some tea before you leave." Her voice was neutral.
"Why didn't you go to university?" Gordon saw her back stiffen and her hands drop to the counter rattling the teapot.
"You, of anyone, should know why." She kept her back to him, but he could see that the hands filling the teapot with water were shaking.
"What did I have to do with you not going to university?" Gordon was a bit peeved. He felt guilty enough already. What more was Em going to lay at his door?
She turned to face him, her face was screwed in anger or was she close to tears?
"Three thousand one hundred and sixty-two dollars. Does that ring a bell Tracy?"
Gordon frowned. "No." Em was really mad, but he couldn't say why. "Stop beating around the bush, Jones" He could get mad too, darn it." Get to the point."
"Do you know how I saved for college? I put every cent that Dad gave me for allowance in my bank account. I bought my clothes at Salvation Army, I cut my own hair. Everyone thought it was just my style. I got used to being weird Martha Jones, sort of. And then it was all gone."
"How? What happened?"
"Charlotte hacked into my bank account and took it for her 'wedding money'."
Gordon felt his shoulders relax minutely. Okay guilt by association, one more thing to make up to Em, but it didn't account for the hate directed at him.
"You could have gotten it back. Told your father, or even the bank."
"I couldn't." She shot back at him angrily
"Your father and his pride, or bringing up criminal charges against your sister?"
"Neither. Charlotte said..." Her face fell suddenly. "And I believed..." She said quietly.
Gordon went to her by the kitchen counter. He put his hands on her shoulders. "What did that toxic toad say? What did you believe?"
"She said you needed it." Her eyes wouldn't meet his.
"And you believed her? You believed I'd take your money, your future away from you?" Gordon shook her angrily.
"Yes! I had to! It made it easier!" She pulled away from him.
"Easier for what?"
"To hate you. I needed to hate you."
"Aw Em." He dropped his hands and walked over to the sofa to sit down heavily. The teapot began to whistle discordantly. They were both quiet as Em made two mugs of tea. She brought him his and prudently retreated back to the kitchen unit.
"We used to be friends Gordon. And then all of a sudden we weren't. You apologized twice for the accident and then dropped me like a dead dodo."
"You started the ugly rumors around school - ah heck!" Gordon slammed his mug down on the table slopping the contents onto his hand. He shook off the hot tea his face twisting with annoyance. "Charlotte.."
"Did you burn yourself?" Em flipped on the faucet and hurrying to Gordon pulled him to the sink and pushed his hand under the running water.
"Yipes! That's cold!" He turned his hand only to have Em's surprisingly strong grip keep it under the running water.
"At least 10 minutes, Flash." She looked into his eyes steadily from about an inch away. "How could you like her, Gordon? Surely you could see beyond that pretty face." she asked suddenly.
"She...she seemed to understand me. Knew how I felt. My deepest feelings. I needed that. I thought I needed her." Gordon shook his head. "I can't believe I was so blind. I'm sorry, Em. About college, about you being hurt...I'm really sorry."
Em shrugged. "I like being a plumber. Things worked out and it's okay."
"C'mon Em you just can't shrug this off."
"Yes I can and so can you. Don't let that heart of flame of yours rule your head."
"What?!"
"I said it's okay."
"What you said about the heart of flame? Em?"
"Well, you always had a spirit that burned so bright," she began.
"That my eyes could not always bear it's light." Gordon finished. "You wrote the poem. The Heart of Flame."
"Where? How did you get it? I never showed it to anyone."
"Charlotte sent it to me. Told me she wrote it for me." Gordon paused. "Was it in your computer? You kept a diary or a journal, right."
"Y-yes."
"Stands to reason that if she cracked your bank code she had access to everything else. Who else knew me as well as you did? We used to talk about everything together."
"I never meant it to be seen, it was just how I felt about...things." Em looked more distressed than when he'd kissed her by mistake at the funeral.
"The woman who wrote this must have loved you very much." Marie's words came to Gordon's mind. A few missing pieces finally fell into place. Em had loved him and he had thought he was in love with Charlotte, who was only a pretty version of Em. Or a fake version of Em.
If there was one thing he'd learned from his time in the WASP's and working for International Rescue it was to consider a situation before leaping in. Well, most of the time, anyway. Gordon felt something turn in his chest as he stood there so close to her that his breath moved little tendrils of red hair across her cheek.
"I was an idiot." He said huskily, "Charlotte was just a imitation of you. I was an idiot." He repeated.
"Yes you were. But she was pretty. I wasn't." Em's reply was spoken firmly, but he could see the fine tremor that shook her.
Gordon's free hand seemed to move of its own volition to stroke her cheek, following the line down to the corner of her mouth. He bent his head closer until their lips were a mere breath apart. He tried to bring his other hand up but was met with iron resistance.
"I was an idiot, too, Gordon. But I'm not one any more." She pulled away from him letting go of the hand under the water.
"I am sorry. I keep saying that and I mean it Em. If there is anyway to make it up to you I will."
"Do you mean that, Gordon? Or is it just words?"
"I think you know me better than that Em." Gordon said quietly.
"All right, there is something you can do." Em was chewing on her thumbnail, a sure sign of distress.
"What?"
"Ask me to marry you."
Em's place turned out to be an old two car garage with a workshop on one side and a place for the van on the other. Her living space above the garage was surprisingly spacious. It had a little utility kitchen and a discrete bathroom in one corner. A futon which was probably her bed as well sat in the middle of the room. In one corner a large familiar looking TV was filled with bright tropical fish and a little fishing boat bobbing on the surface.
"Hey! You finished it!" Gordon shucked off his coat and went to tap on the glass. The fisherman waved a fist at him angrily. "Oh, Em that is priceless! My father would love to see this. How did you..." He stopped and turned seeing her over by the kitchen unit.
"You want some tea before you leave." Her voice was neutral.
"Why didn't you go to university?" Gordon saw her back stiffen and her hands drop to the counter rattling the teapot.
"You, of anyone, should know why." She kept her back to him, but he could see that the hands filling the teapot with water were shaking.
"What did I have to do with you not going to university?" Gordon was a bit peeved. He felt guilty enough already. What more was Em going to lay at his door?
She turned to face him, her face was screwed in anger or was she close to tears?
"Three thousand one hundred and sixty-two dollars. Does that ring a bell Tracy?"
Gordon frowned. "No." Em was really mad, but he couldn't say why. "Stop beating around the bush, Jones" He could get mad too, darn it." Get to the point."
"Do you know how I saved for college? I put every cent that Dad gave me for allowance in my bank account. I bought my clothes at Salvation Army, I cut my own hair. Everyone thought it was just my style. I got used to being weird Martha Jones, sort of. And then it was all gone."
"How? What happened?"
"Charlotte hacked into my bank account and took it for her 'wedding money'."
Gordon felt his shoulders relax minutely. Okay guilt by association, one more thing to make up to Em, but it didn't account for the hate directed at him.
"You could have gotten it back. Told your father, or even the bank."
"I couldn't." She shot back at him angrily
"Your father and his pride, or bringing up criminal charges against your sister?"
"Neither. Charlotte said..." Her face fell suddenly. "And I believed..." She said quietly.
Gordon went to her by the kitchen counter. He put his hands on her shoulders. "What did that toxic toad say? What did you believe?"
"She said you needed it." Her eyes wouldn't meet his.
"And you believed her? You believed I'd take your money, your future away from you?" Gordon shook her angrily.
"Yes! I had to! It made it easier!" She pulled away from him.
"Easier for what?"
"To hate you. I needed to hate you."
"Aw Em." He dropped his hands and walked over to the sofa to sit down heavily. The teapot began to whistle discordantly. They were both quiet as Em made two mugs of tea. She brought him his and prudently retreated back to the kitchen unit.
"We used to be friends Gordon. And then all of a sudden we weren't. You apologized twice for the accident and then dropped me like a dead dodo."
"You started the ugly rumors around school - ah heck!" Gordon slammed his mug down on the table slopping the contents onto his hand. He shook off the hot tea his face twisting with annoyance. "Charlotte.."
"Did you burn yourself?" Em flipped on the faucet and hurrying to Gordon pulled him to the sink and pushed his hand under the running water.
"Yipes! That's cold!" He turned his hand only to have Em's surprisingly strong grip keep it under the running water.
"At least 10 minutes, Flash." She looked into his eyes steadily from about an inch away. "How could you like her, Gordon? Surely you could see beyond that pretty face." she asked suddenly.
"She...she seemed to understand me. Knew how I felt. My deepest feelings. I needed that. I thought I needed her." Gordon shook his head. "I can't believe I was so blind. I'm sorry, Em. About college, about you being hurt...I'm really sorry."
Em shrugged. "I like being a plumber. Things worked out and it's okay."
"C'mon Em you just can't shrug this off."
"Yes I can and so can you. Don't let that heart of flame of yours rule your head."
"What?!"
"I said it's okay."
"What you said about the heart of flame? Em?"
"Well, you always had a spirit that burned so bright," she began.
"That my eyes could not always bear it's light." Gordon finished. "You wrote the poem. The Heart of Flame."
"Where? How did you get it? I never showed it to anyone."
"Charlotte sent it to me. Told me she wrote it for me." Gordon paused. "Was it in your computer? You kept a diary or a journal, right."
"Y-yes."
"Stands to reason that if she cracked your bank code she had access to everything else. Who else knew me as well as you did? We used to talk about everything together."
"I never meant it to be seen, it was just how I felt about...things." Em looked more distressed than when he'd kissed her by mistake at the funeral.
"The woman who wrote this must have loved you very much." Marie's words came to Gordon's mind. A few missing pieces finally fell into place. Em had loved him and he had thought he was in love with Charlotte, who was only a pretty version of Em. Or a fake version of Em.
If there was one thing he'd learned from his time in the WASP's and working for International Rescue it was to consider a situation before leaping in. Well, most of the time, anyway. Gordon felt something turn in his chest as he stood there so close to her that his breath moved little tendrils of red hair across her cheek.
"I was an idiot." He said huskily, "Charlotte was just a imitation of you. I was an idiot." He repeated.
"Yes you were. But she was pretty. I wasn't." Em's reply was spoken firmly, but he could see the fine tremor that shook her.
Gordon's free hand seemed to move of its own volition to stroke her cheek, following the line down to the corner of her mouth. He bent his head closer until their lips were a mere breath apart. He tried to bring his other hand up but was met with iron resistance.
"I was an idiot, too, Gordon. But I'm not one any more." She pulled away from him letting go of the hand under the water.
"I am sorry. I keep saying that and I mean it Em. If there is anyway to make it up to you I will."
"Do you mean that, Gordon? Or is it just words?"
"I think you know me better than that Em." Gordon said quietly.
"All right, there is something you can do." Em was chewing on her thumbnail, a sure sign of distress.
"What?"
"Ask me to marry you."