Disclaimer: *sighs* I still don't own the characters within. They're J.K. Rowling's, not mine.
Warnings: Slash… And a warning on the crap that this story has turned into. My bloody muse won't leave that damned club, and I sent my invisible demon friend named Bob in to retrieve her, and now he won't leave… *grumbles*
Chapter 8: I'll Be Yours
Severus sat silent, his hands crossed lightly on his lap. 'What am I doing here…?' He asked himself, using every ounce of his will to keep his face impassive to what was happening around him. 'Why did I even bother coming? I shouldn't be here. It was ridiculous for him to even ask me to be here…'
He watched the wedding procession, his mind numb from regret and several calming potions. When Lucius had told him of his upcoming wedding to Narcissa Coulier, he had thought that he'd heard wrong. Surely Lucius couldn't be with her. Lucius was with Severus, not that woman.
But no. Severus had known that it could never truly last. Their stations in life simply wouldn't, couldn't, have allowed it. The fabulous Lucius Malfoy, only heir of the Malfoy fortune, could never spend his life with another man. How ever would he keep up the pure blood line?
Narcissa could give Lucius everything that Severus couldn't. An heir, a high standing both in Britain, but also in France, and an even larger fortune. Severus wouldn't have been able to boost Lucius up in England's social ranks. He couldn't give him an heir.
Severus had been cognizant of Lucius's 'affair' with Narcissa. The blond haired man had not even attempted to hide it. 'It's merely to keep up appearances, love…' He'd said. 'If we have any hope of staying together nowadays, we need to keep it secret, and what better cover than my having liaisons with Narcissa.'
And so Severus sat, watching the man that he loved marry a woman not worthy of doing up Lucius's boots.
As the couple exchanged rings of platinum ('For a Malfoy would never lower themselves to wear simple gold.') at the front of the large group of people, Severus felt his breath hitch in his throat.
'It's real. They're married.' Severus thought to himself. The only thing keeping his mind and body in control were the potions that he'd ingested before going to the wedding.
Severus noticed something different about Narcissa as he stared at the now kissing couple. A very, very slight bulge at her stomach, one that he was sure that nobody else had noticed. It was well hidden, barely noticeable.
'S-she's pregnant. That fucking whore is with Lucius's child… 'She means nothing to me, Severus. I swear it. It's just for appearances…' My ass… That fucking bastard.' Severus clenched and unclenched his fists, anger rising up in him.
Severus stood up and stormed out, not caring who he angered or embarrassed by his actions. He had no friends at this damnable wedding.
He didn't notice the hurt look in Lucius's pale eyes as they watched him leave.
~*~
Severus paced back and forth across his study, his calming potions having worn off. Fury spread through his body like fire. With his father's 'untimely death', he'd inherited the manor and all of his family's assets, making him one of the most financially set nineteen year olds in all of Britain.
He mumbled to himself, throwing back glass after glass of Brahm's Fire Whiskey, mixing the rage with the hot heat of the liquor. He turned towards the door behind him as it opened quietly.
"Severus?"
"You didn't have the balls to tell me that you knocked the bitch up, Lucius." Severus watched as his now former lover's eyes widened. "Do you think that I'm stupid?
"I know that you're in love with her."
Lucius reached out a pale hand to the younger man, to place a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. Severus backed away from his touch as if he was burned. "Don't touch me, Lucius. You're a married man; you no longer have the right."
"I've explained this all to you already, Sev… You know that I love you. You know my position in all of this. I had to do it." Lucius's voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes pleading.
"Oh shove it. You had a choice, and you made it. It was either Narcissa or me, and you chose her." Severus hissed, throwing the bottle of whiskey across the room, watching it shatter against the wall. A slightly satisfied look mixed with anguish on his face as he saw the liquid dribble down the wall. "You knew what you were doing… You played both her and I for fools, played both sides.
"Threatened her with me and vice versa. We both needed you, and you knew it. She needed you for money, for a higher status. I needed you because I loved you. And you played on both of our insecurities regarding our position with you. If she didn't listen to you, you threatened to leave her for me. If I didn't do your bidding, you'd run to her.
"Well, you can't do that anymore."
"Severus, I never meant to hurt you, I swear it. My parents… My family needed an heir to continue the bloodline. They threatened to cut me off."
"Yes, because you didn't have enough money stashed away. I don't have enough money to keep you happy. You selfish bastard…"
Severus walked back over to the bar, pulling a bottle of vodka from the shelves. He took several chugs out of the container before turning back to Lucius, swaying slightly on his feet.
"…Narcissa wants you to be the godfather to the baby."
"What? You've got to be kidding me."
"No. She…I…don't want you out of my life."
"Fuck you, Lucius. Get out."
"Sev…"
"GET OUT!" Severus's eyes burned in anger, bits of lightning flashing around the onyx orbs.
With that, Lucius was gone, a cloud of green smoke floated where he'd been standing. Lucius apparated back to his wedding reception, to the locked bathroom that he'd hidden in prior to secreting away to Severus's manor.
His breath became hitched, heavy. He felt tears rising to his eyes. "What have I done?"
-
A sharp sound of shattering glass greets my ears as I enter Severus's chambers. It's been nearly two weeks since I confronted Dumbledore, but I've yet to actually ask Severus about what I was told. And considering he seems to be in one of his…moods…now wouldn't be the time.
"Severus, what are you doing?!" I ask, ducking out of the way of a crystal goblet as it exploded against the door. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing-I-care-to-discuss." With every word, he throws another goblet against the wall, leaving a pile of expensive crystal on the floor. With the last goblet, he sinks back against the wall, running a hand through his hair.
I walk over to him, carefully avoiding the glass. Squatting down next to him, I attempt to take him in my arms. He pulls away from me, as a child would. I frown, smelling an excess of liquor on his breath. "How much have you had to drink, Severus?"
"None of your sodding business, Lupin." He sneers, attempting to stand up but falling to his knees.
"It is my business and you know it." I sigh. Why does he always have to close himself off when he's upset? "Did you have a bad class? Did someone die? What?"
"Lucius is coming to pay me a visit." Oh, the joys of an angry Snape. He's ever so descriptive about what's upsetting him.
"This upsets you why?"
"I said that it was nothing that I cared to discuss." Severus manages to get to his feet this time, a scowl on his face.
"I thought that you two were friends. You were certainly close when we were at school."
"That… That was a long time ago."
"What happened?" I know better than to pry when he's like this, but it's rarely stopped me in the past. Severus is bullheaded enough that showing concern for his well being will just make him less likely to respond. He's always been like that. Bloody Slytherin.
"It was a long time ago." Severus growls. I quirk an eyebrow at him. He just rolls his eyes. He seems to like that. "We…dated…for awhile, up until I was around nineteen. He was twenty, twenty-one.
"He left me and married Narcissa."
I don't know what to say for a moment. I'd known that they were…close…but not that close. They'd rarely shown anything more than friendship while in school. Besides, who would've thought that Lucius Malfoy would give anyone a year below him the time of day? Especially a male, no matter which house.
"I didn't know."
"Well, of course you didn't. Not many people did… We were very careful to keep it quiet. It simply wouldn't do to have people find out that Sir Lucius Malfoy was a homosexual, would it?" Severus spat. His menacing look was diluted by the alcohol induced hiccups that started. "We were together for…six years, I believe. Then he left me for her. Didn't want to get cut out of daddy's will. Because *hiccup* I didn't have enough money to support us, I didn't have a high enough status in society. So he started fucking her on the side, then married the little French whore. Even *hiccup* invited me to his wedding. He came back to my house to see why I took off in the middle of the ceremony… I'd noticed that she was preggers, and nobody had told me about it. I mean, why tell me? I was just *hiccup* lil' Severus Snape. I was still his sodding lover then, too, not t' mention best friend."
"…I'm sorry. That's horrible." It sounds so generic when I say it, but it's heartfelt. I truly am sorry. If I had been in his position, I would've probably been even worse off than Severus, if it's possible.
"Know the best part? He actually asked me if I'd play godson to his bastard child." Severus stumbles back over to the liquor cabinet. He takes up a crystal bottle of brandy in his hands, taking swills from it as he starts pacing.
"Sev, do you really need to have more to drink? You can barely stand as it is." Of course I know better than to actually say something, but seeing him pass out in a pile on the floor wouldn't help his aching mind and heart. I take the bottle from him as gently as I can, placing it on a nearby table. "Come on. He won't be here until tomorrow… Let's get you to bed and hope that you've got some potions for the massive hangover that you're going to have tomorrow."
~*~
A/N: Sorry for the time between chapters. I blame my muse. And I'm debating quitting having the flashbacks in the beginning. I dunno. I'll see how the next chapter goes, I guess.