Disclaimer: Don't own, never will.  J.K.R. does.

A/N: This chapter is from Severus's point of view.  I don't expect to do this often, but I figured that someone might want to see what happened during Sev's little, um, rendezvous, with Lucius.

The 'current/now' part starts with Severus's visit with Lucius, then melts into the last chapter. 

Chapter 13: Mirror

-

"Sirius?  I think we need to talk."  Remus said quietly, placing his hand on the raven haired boy's shoulder.

"Oh?  'bout what?"  He asked, cursing as Peter squealed 'Checkmate!'  Sirius glared at the pudgy boy, annoyed.  "Oh, shut it, Pete."

"Padfoot?"  Remus urged.

"Oh, yeah."  Sirius stood up, gesturing towards James as he sat down to the chessboard.  "I play winner."

James looked between Sirius and Remus, his face more serious than usual.  "If you're back by then.  Good luck, Siri."

"Yeah, yeah."  Sirius mumbled.  He rolled his eyes as he followed Remus up the stairs.  When they stepped into the seventh year dormitory, the young lycanthrope cast silencing and locking charms.  "Why all the cloak and dagger, Remy?"

"We need to talk about…the Incident."

"What?  The 'Incident'?  What the hell are you talking about?"  Sirius asked, plopping down onto his bed.  He laid down against the pillows near the headboard and pulled a Chocolate Frog from his nightstand.

"Two years ago.  The Shrieking Shack."

"You just said it yourself.  That was two years ago.  What more is there to talk about?"  Sirius asked, biting the head off of the candy.

"That's exactly it.  We've barely discussed it."  Remus sighed, sitting down on his own bed.  "That wasn't just a trick played on a guy that you don't like.  That was attempted murder, and you knew it.  You knew what you were doing, but did you even think about what you were doing?  Letting Snape know that I'm a werewolf?"

"Actually, I hadn't even thought of that."  Sirius sighed.

Remus shook his head in confusion.  "What?"

"I hadn't exactly thought it all through."  Sirius ran a hand through his hair.  "I'm not exactly great at thinking things through…  I just wanted revenge on him for getting me that detention from Professor Watson.  He's her little pet, and it pissed me off that he got off with five points off of Slytherin and I had to help Hagrid clean out the stalls."

"Yeah, because the reverse never happens when we're in Transfigurations or DADA or even Care of Magical Creatures."  Remus huffed. 

Sirius just shrugged.

"So why'd you have to get me involved?  Severus hates me even more than he would have before because of your 'little prank.'  He'd never had anything against me really, but you changed that."

"Why do you care?  Even if you didn't hate each other, you certainly weren't friends."

"I dunno…  I guess it's the pacifist in me."  Remus let out an uncharacteristically harsh laugh.  "A werewolf who's a pacifist…  Bet there's not many of those in the world."

Sirius chuckled.  "Probably not."

The two sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment before Remus sighed.  "You do know that I don't believe your excuse of Professor Watson's giving you a detention?"

"…Yeah, I know."

"You've always been a piss poor liar."

"…"

"So why did you really do it?"  Remus inquired.  "Was there some girl you were both after?  Was it because Severus called Lily a mudblood?  Why?" 

Sirius sighed deeply.  "Because I thought I had a crush on you, alright?"

Remus's eyes widened, his eyes shining in the dim light of the bedroom.  "What?"

"Relax, I don't anymore.  It was nothing, even then.  It was just friendship that I overestimated, or underestimated, or whatever."  Sirius stood up and began pacing back and forth across the room.  "It wasn't anything serious.  I'm straight."

"Wow."  Remus mumbled.  It was his turn to run his hand through his hair, his mind whirling.  He had a crush on me?  But…  "But that still doesn't explain why you tried, well, why you succeeded, in making Severus and I hate each other?"

"I thought that you were going out, or close to it."

"You thought I, Remus Lupin, a GRYFFINDOR, was going out with SEVERUS SNAPE, a SLYTHERIN?  Are you nutters?!"  Remus practically screamed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…  I already feel like a big enough prat, just pile it on…"  Sirius griped.  "I was wrong, okay?"

"Still…"  Remus shook his head, his badly in need of a trim hair falling in his face.  "What made you think that I was seeing him?"

"You were spending an awful lot of time with him."

"He was giving me extra lessons in Potions, at Professor Watson's request.  You know how bad I am in that class."

"Extra lessons?"  Sirius huffed.  "Why didn't you tell me?  Or have me tutor you?  You know I get good marks in that class."

"Watson felt that it would be better to get lessons from someone other than my best friend.  She didn't think that we'd get a lot of actual work done."  Remus stood up, walking over to the window and the jug of cool water that sat near it.  He poured a small amount in a glass, drinking it down in one gulp.  "Besides, you may make good marks, but Severus pulls down the best grades in there, no matter which house you look at.  Hell, no matter which year you look at.  His potions rivaled those of the seventh years back when we were eleven."

"Okay, okay, you've made your point and I've spilled my guts.  Happy?"

"Yeah.  Thanks for finally being honest with me."  Remus smiled.  He winked at the other boy.  "You don't still have a crush on me, do you?"

"Hell no.  I've been seeing that Ravenclaw, Alexis Crowe, for about a month now."  Sirius blushed slightly.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want you to say 'I told you so' if we split up." 

"Fair enough."  Remus poured more water in the glass, sipping on it.  "Want to go see if you can still get in a game with the winner?"

"Sure."

-

The silver bracelet around my wrist seems to be moving like mercury as he speaks.  I don't know if it's charmed to do so, or if I'm simply hallucinating;  I don't know which I'd prefer.  He's sitting across from me on the couch, simply staring at me, always staring, always contemplating.

He gave me this bracelet the moment that Remus left.  'I saw this and I thought of you' he said.  It's a rather nice bracelet, wide, and silver.  Perfect for covering up my scars.  He knew that of course.  No lover, past or current, would ever have scars on their bodies from suicide or self-mutilation.  The scars that he caused are fine of course.

We've sat in silence for the past five minutes.  Not the silence that we used to have.  It's the silence that sits heavy and thick in the air, the silence of unspoken words and thoughts.

"Why are you here, Lucius?"  I find myself asking, wanting to kick myself the moment the words come out.

He quirks one perfect eyebrow at me, his eyes glittering.  Gods, those eyes…  "I'd think that would be fairly obvious, Severus."

It's my turn to quirk a brow.  "Well, I'm afraid it's been a stressful time as of late, so no, I don't know why you've suddenly decided to 'pop in.'"

"I was talking to Draco last week…  He tells me that his Potions master seems to be much more sedate lately.  And the only time I've known you to be like that is when you're…how do I phrase this?  Oh, I know.  When you're fucking somebody."  Lucius hisses the last words, his eyes no longer glittering, but flashing in anger, and what appears to be jealousy.  Of course.  He's never liked other people to play with his 'toys.'

"Well, I don't think it's any of your business who I spend my nights with." And mornings, and afternoons, I smile inwardly.  "You gave up that claim long ago."

"Oh, and we're back to this again.  Will you never forget our past?  Look forward to what could be our future?"

I shake my head.  "I cannot over look the past when the proof of it stares back at me while I'm teaching my class."

Lucius sighs in frustration, and I almost start snickering.  It's not an easy thing to get him riled up so quickly.  Of course, he's always been rather good at controlling his emotions; it's a must when you're in Voldemort's inner circle.  It simply wouldn't do to cry out when tortured or to flinch when that lunatic murders someone.  You'd be the next on the chopping block.

"Shall you hold my marriage and son over my head forever, Severus?"  He asks, standing up.

"Yes, I believe I shall.  How many times do I have to tell you this?  You made your choice long ago."  The urge to laugh no longer reigns in my mind.  It's replaced quickly with a burning anger.  "You chose to get married and have a child.  I chose a different path."

"Oh, your 'path'?"  Lucius walks over to the bar and pours himself a drink.  "You turn your back on your talents to become a Potions master of all things.  You could've been something great, Severus, and not just by serving the Dark Lord.  You've squandered your talent in this hellhole, and now you're nothing but a sarcastic, bitter, aging man.

"And you've still not told me who you're buggering."

"And I do believe that I told you that it's none of your business, hm?  My private life should no longer be of any concern to you."  I stand up as well and walk over to the table, picking a biscuit up in my hands.  I pick at it before speaking.  "Besides, I've not admitted to seeing anyone…"

"You don't have to.  It's the way that you act."  Lucius slams the rest of his drink.  "You forget that I know you, Severus.  I know how you act when you're in a relationship.

"Not to mention the fact that when you opened the door to talk to Lupin, I spotted clothing that most definitely isn't yours hanging over the chair in your bedroom."

"And how do you know whatever you saw doesn't belong to me?"

"It was brown."  Lucius walks over to me, taking part of my robes in his hand.  "And you, most certainly, do not wear brown."

Damn it.

It's nearly unbearable to stand this close to him, to know that I can't have him.  His sharp, clean citrus smell fills my head and I feel my knees weaken slightly.

No.  I can't do this.  I can't hurt Remus.

"They were a gift from McGonagall for Yule.  She's trying to add some color to my wardrobe."  I'm thankful that I've had practice at lying.  Very few people can actually see through me when I lie, and Lucius isn't one of them.  I had plenty of practice, lying about my injuries when I was young.  And about my father's death.

Lucius snaps me out of my reverie as his light, scar colored lips touch mine.  The kiss begins light, but deepens as the seconds tick by.  It takes a minute for my mind to catch up to my body, and I pull violently away from Lucius.

"Get the hell away from me, Lucius."  I hiss, the taste of his mouth still on mine.  It takes every fiber of my being not to lick my lips or go back for more.  The memory of Remus holding me in his arms, murmuring pleasant thoughts to me means more than a thousand nights with Lucius.

"Severus…"  Lucius's eyes soften, his face going lax for just a moment. 

"No."  I walk across the room, getting as far away from the object of my lust as I can.  "Just…  Just go.  Please."

Lucius looks as if he's going to argue, but I shake my head.  "Are you sure?"

I nod.  "Yes."

"Fine.  Goobye, Severus.  I hope he treats you well."  He walks over to me and kisses his fingers; he presses them against my lips before turning around and walking to the door.  "I love you, Severus."

I turn my back as the door shuts and I fight the tears that spring to my eyes.

I stand there for five minutes, unmoving.  His scent is still on me, the feel of his velvet fingers against my lips…  I shake my head violently before storming into my bedroom, and through there, my bath.  I shed my clothes, stepping into the shower. 

The water is hot, almost hotter than I can bear.  My skin goes pink as I scrub, trying to get Lucius's scent, his touch, off of me before Remus comes back.  I stand beneath the water for ages, until the water starts to cool, sending goose bumps down my arms and legs.

I step out of the shower and dry myself quickly and run a brush through my still sopping wet hair.  I pull on the black pajama bottoms that Lucius bought me years ago before going back out to the living room and sitting in front of the fire.  I feel as if I'm about to nod off as I hear knocks on my door.

My eyes roll as I pull a heavy blanket from beneath the couch, draping myself in it.  I ignore the knocks and the man calling my name.  I can't deal with Remus right now.  I just can't.

I sigh as he walks in. 

"Where's the little bastard?"

"He's gone." I stand up, keeping the blanket wrapped snuggly against my shoulders.  I feel more tired than I have in ages.  "Left about an hour ago."

"Good riddance to bad rubbish."  I almost smile at the jealous tone in his voice.  Almost.

I snort and pull the blanket tighter around me.  I walk to the fire and put the fire out with my wand before turning back to him.  "I think I'm going to get some sleep."

He walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me, nuzzling my neck.  "Would you like some company?"

"Not tonight, Lupin. I'm tired."  I wince as I call him Lupin, trying to distance myself a bit, to make the guilt and the feelings go away.

"Oh. Alright, then." I pull away from him and walk to my bedroom door, slipping into the room.  I sigh. 

"Lock the doors when you leave, please."

I hear the outer door shut and put my barriers up again before shedding the blanket, letting it fall in a heap on the floor.  I collapse on my bed, pulling the duvett over me.  I curl up under the covers, hugging my pillow to me.  "I'm sorry."

-

Yay!  It's longer.

And I decided to start writing this chapter at two in the morning, and it's now 6:17 a.m.  What I do for my readers.  : )