Disclaimer:  I obviously don't own the characters represented within, J.K. Rowling does.  Hell, this story is so clichéd it's practically public domain by now. 

Warning:  Slash. 

And this chapter is dedicated to Catmint.  Thank you for all of your encouragement, and for reminding me that there are actually people who read this story. 

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Chapter 15: Welcome to My Nightmare

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"Oi!  Snape!"

Severus turned to the voice; his face lacked his usual scowl, instead he was slightly weary.  He always was when dealing with one of the infamous Marauders, even if the one in question was Peter Pettigrew.  Severus had learned that where there was one Gryffindor, there were generally more lurking around somewhere.

"What now, Pettigrew?"  Snape's eyes rolled around the hall slowly, checking all of the corners and shadows for hidden pranksters.  "Don't tell me that you're setting me up for one of Potter or Black's stupid 'tricks.'"  Severus smirked.  "That seems to be the only reason that they keep you around, you know…  You're their lap dog."

"I'm not just their lackey, Snape."  Peter's face grew slightly red; Severus couldn't decide if it was in anger, embarrassment, or a sudden realization of the truth.  He found it amusing either way.

"Yes, of course…  Never."  Severus crossed his arms in front of his chest.  "Now, is there a reason that you stopped me?"

"Here."  Peter handed the black haired boy a tightly folded note.

"What the hell is this?  A love note?"  Severus asked, making the blond boy blush furiously.

Peter stammered for a minute before getting his words out.  "N-no.  I-it's from Remus."

Severus mumbled, putting the note into his pants pocket.  "Did you read it?"

"Now, why would I do that?"

Severus returned Peter's smug smile with an arrogant smirk.  "Why, I don't know…  Maybe because you're nothing more than a rat who likes to walk where wolves tread?"

"Fuck you, Snape."

Severus chuckled lowly, turning around and walking in the opposite direction of Pettigrew.  "See you in class."

Peter watched Snape round the corner and smirked, his eyes glittering.  "Oh, I'm sure I'll see you before then, Snivellus…  It's a full moon tonight."

Severus walked slowly down to the Slytherin dormitories, his hand twisting the note in his pocket.

"Why on Earth would Lupin send me a note?  And through Pettigrew of all people?"  Severus wondered to himself, stopping outside of the portrait leading to the Slytherin common room.  "Serpentsortia."

Severus entered the large room on deft feet, ignoring the several younger students around the fire and fell into an over stuffed green chair.  He took the note from his pocket and stared at it, his eyes adjusting to the lower lighting.

"Severus, what's this?"  A smooth voice asked from behind him, warm breath tickling at the back of his neck.  "A note?  A love note?"

"Lucius."  Severus merely stated the name of the white haired boy, his voice slightly shaking in surprise.  "N-no.  It's just a note.  A normal kind of note."

"Oh?  A normal kind of note?  And who is this normal kind of note from, Severus?"  Lucius snaked a hand through Severus's hair, pulling his head back as he walked in front of him.

"Nobody."

"Nobody?"  Lucius smiled, his icy eyes shining.  "Well, well, well.  That's quite a feat.  To get a note from nobody.  Are you sure it's not some kind of a love letter?"

"It's nothing, Luc, I swear.  It's just from my Potions partner."  Severus stammered, his cool demeanor gone.  "I haven't even read it yet."

"Then you wouldn't mind if I read it first."  Lucius's hand left the dark hair and snatched the note from Severus's hands.

Severus stood up, his hair swinging in front of his face.  "Yes, actually, I would."

"Excuse me?  I do believe you're forgetting yourself, Snape."

"Oh, sod off, Luc…  It's just a note.  Give it back to me.  Now."  Severus wrenched the note from Lucius's hands.  'I'm gonna pay for this later.  This note had better be worth it.'

Severus turned from his lover and walked calmly up the stairs to his dormitory, his hands shaking slightly.  He pulled his wand from his pocket as he entered his room, relieved to find that it was empty.  He sat down on his bed before finally opening the note.

'Severus,

I have something important to tell you, but I don't want Sirius to know.  I was wondering if you would meet me outside tonight, around ten?  There's a passageway from the Whomping Willow, to the Shrieking Shack.  I figured after we talked we could go into Hogsmead for a butter beer.

            To get into the passage, you've got to take a long stick and push in a large knot in the base of the tree.  It'll stop the tree long enough that you'll see the entrance.

            See you tonight, hopefully.

           

            Yours,

            Remus

Severus sighed as he read the note, folding it up neatly and setting it on the bed beside him. 

'He has to tell me something?  What's so important that he has to take me off campus to do so?'  Severus fell back onto his bed, resting his head on the green sheathed feather pillow.

'This had better be really fucking important.  Lucius is going to kill me.'

Severus held his wand out in front of him carefully, the low light from it's tip the only thing showing his way in the dark tunnel.  He grumbled inwardly.  'Leave it to me to not bring a torch.'

He saw a small light in the distance ahead of him and he smiled, happy to be almost out of the dark.  He called out to the light.  "Remus?"

A small noise rang from the lit end of the tunnel, so low that it didn't even register in Severus's mind the first time.  The second time the noise sounded, it was much louder.  It was a low pitched growl that made the skin on the back of his neck prickle with gooseflesh.  "Hello?  Remus?  Are you there?"

Against his will, fear began crawling up the back of Severus's spine, cold fingers clawing at his mind.  "Don't be foolish, Severus.  It's just your imagination.

"It's just your imagination…  Just your imagination…"  Severus repeated to himself, a mantra.  He stopped walking as he reached a dark door that blocked the path.  "Remus?  Are you in there?"

Severus opened the door slowly, his hands shaking.  The only thing that Severus was aware of before he collapsed to the ground was the voice of James Potter screaming his name from behind him and a loud growl as a pair of fierce claws slashed at his midsection.

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"Severus?"  His name rings in my ears as I say it.  I run a hand up his side to wake him from his light doze.  "You can't tell me that the grass is that comfortable."

I laugh as he grumbles, sitting up.  He doesn't make it far, lying back down on the red checkered blanket, resting his head on my lap.  I brush his hair out of his face tenderly.  I love his hair.  It's like beautiful black lace when it's wet, draped across his face.

He sighs before he speaks, his breath tickling my arm.  I laugh and move to swat at his shoulder, but his face turns serious, his dark eyes gazing into my amber hued ones.  "We need to talk, Remus."

He sits up this time, getting to his feet.  He pulls me up along with him, the worry lines in his face mirroring those on my own.  "But not here."

I nod, and we pack up the leftovers and blanket into our picnic basket.  We apparate to the gates of Hogwarts, only separating our hands from each other's when we enter the school.  We walk down to the dungeons in silence.  It's not the kind of silence that I like, though.  It's a heavy silence, full of words that haven't been said, but must be spoken.

He locks his doors, putting up several wards when we enter his chambers.  I pour out several fingers of brandy into a glass.  I ask him if he'd like a glass of liquor as well, and he nods solemnly.  We sit on the couch in silence for several more moments than I would have liked, sipping on our brandy.

"I'm leaving, Remus."

"What?"  I ask, turning towards him so fast that my brandy sloshes from its container and spills over onto my hands and trousers.  I try to keep the desperation, the worry, the sadness, out of my voice, but fail miserably.  "Why are you leaving?  Where are you going?"

"I have to go on a mission, for Dumbledore."  Severus sighs, throwing back the rest of his brandy before standing up and draining the rest of the golden brown liquid from the decanter.  "Voldemort's going to western Russia, to try to gain more supporters for his cause.  Voldemort wants me to go as well, both because of my heritage and the fact that I'm more fluent in Russian than any of the other Death Eaters.

"Albus wants me there, so I can keep track of who joins up and who doesn't.  It really isn't that bad.  I've gone on much more dangerous missions than this and lived to tell of it."

I shake my head, taking his hand in mine.  "How long are you going to be gone?"

"Three months."

"Alright.  Three months.  We can handle that."  I manage to keep the nervous tremor out of my voice and nuzzle at his neck lightly, trying to keep both of our minds off of Severus's mission.  I find myself slightly hurt when he remains impassive beneath my hands.  "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?!"

"Yes.  I was just told of it before we left this morning…  He was here when I returned from your rooms.  Lucius is meeting me here tomorrow morning."

"You're going with him?"

"I've got no choice, Remus."  He hisses, standing up.  He goes over to the liquor cabinet and picks up the empty bottle of brandy, grunting angrily when he remembers that he emptied it moments earlier.  "Do you think that I want to spend three months with that bastard?  It's Lucius, Voldemort and I traveling Russia, recruiting young wizards and witches and magical creatures.  This isn't exactly a holiday for me.  It's for the Order, Remus.  I've got no choice in the matter.  If I don't go, I let down Albus and anger Voldemort in one fell swoop.  What good would I be to the Order if Riddle suspects anything, anything at all?  It is considered an honor to be chosen to go along with Voldemort.  If I don't go, he'd be insulted.  The bastard would probably have me killed."

We sit in silence for a moment.  I speak up quietly, abandoning my drink and standing up.  I walk over to him and place my arms around his waist.  "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I wanted us to have one last, good day, in case something…  In case something goes wrong, Remus."

"What could go wrong?"  I look at him questioningly.  He closes his eyes, brushing a hand against my cheek and kissing my lightly.

"Everything."  He rests his head on my shoulder.  "Lucius could find out about us, and tell Riddle.  That could make Voldemort suspect that I'm no longer one of his most loyal followers.  It wouldn't look good for a Death Eater of a high rank to be shagging a former Marauding werewolf.

"Not to mention that Lucius would have me killed at dawn, skinned, and turned in to a pair of gloves if he found out."

We stand silently and hold each other, neither of us daring to speak.  We look at each other and walk into the bedroom, crawling up onto the bed. 

"Will you be able to contact me?"  I ask him, curling up against his side.

"I don't know."  I don't know if I'm encouraged or discouraged by his honesty.  It would be nice to have the smallest grain of hope lingering in the back of my brain, but I'd just be lying to myself, and him to me, I guess.  "I'll try like hell to.  You know that.

"I love you, Remus."  He lifts my chin up to face him and he kisses me, wrapping his arms around me.  He rubs my back comfortingly.  "Nothing will change that.  Not distance, not Voldemort, and certainly not Lucius."

We fall asleep like that, wrapped against each other like human blankets.  I whisper to his sleeping form, tightening my embrace.  "I know.  I love you, too, Severus."

I wake up the next morning, finding the bed empty and most of Severus's drawers bare.  His suitcases are gone, but I can hear him in the next room.  I peek out in the space between the door and the wall.  He and Lucius Malfoy are talking in low tones, only letting me pick up every other word of their conversation.

"…ready…go, Severus?"

"Yes…have to…bedroom.  Give…moment…  I'll…back…"  I hear Severus speak and rush away from the door.  I stand silently near the corner of the room waiting for Severus to latch the door behind him.  He nods at me, the silence in the room heavy as he walks over to me, embracing me.  We kiss quickly before he leans in towards my ear, whispering.  "I love you, Remus.  I'll see you soon."

I kiss him on the cheek.  "Be careful, Sev."

"I will."  He pulls away from me, walking over to the closet and pulling out his winter cloak before blowing a kiss at me.  I smile sadly as he walks towards the door.  "Goodbye."

I walk over to the door and peek out again, catching only a blur of silver hair exit the room and Severus turning back to the bedroom, his eyes filled with emotion.  He nods to me, a small smile on his face. 

I feel as the wards on his chambers are put back up and grimace.

He's gone.  And I've got a horrible feeling deep in the pit of my gut that tells me he's not coming back.

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A/N:  I apologize for the length of time between chapters.  Life's just kind of caught up with me lately and I forgot about this story and almost everything else.  I promise to try to keep up with this story while I'm on my winter break.

Happy Holidays. : )