Disclaimer: not mine
It hurt me physically and emotionally to hear the hurt and disappointment in Taichi's voice. It hurt me physically and emotionally to hear him sigh and walk out of the bathroom when I refused to come out. It wasn't that I didn't trust him; it was that I didn't trust what my dad would do if he found out that someone knew. He would probably go after Taichi and I wasn't going to let my best friend in the world get hurt just because I whined to him about my problems. I was protecting Tai. But I knew that he was as stubborn as a donkey and that no matter what precautions I took to hide my situation from him, he would find out one way or another. I wanted to tell him, wanted to unload every single thing that happened to me. I needed it so badly. Every step I took was agony. I tried walking as normally as possible but that was impossible. I tried to ignore the pain but it was the worst yet. My father had been in a particularly bad mood. I knew Tai was only trying to help but by doing so, he was getting himself into a situation that I rather he didn't have to live with. I didn't want to burden him with my troubles. It was his carefree, optimistic, happy-go-lucky attitude that helped me through many days when I had been so tempted to end it all. A beautiful smile graced his lips and I'd be damned if I was the reason that it disappeared from his face. When he frowned or looked even the slightest bit upset, it was as if someone was tearing into my heart. I needed him to be happy for my sake. Just watching him laughing was enough to make me think that maybe life could be worth living if I could just hear him laugh once more. The time I spent with him was time in paradise and I treasured every moment of it in my heart. He was the only reason I hadn't killed myself yet.
Once he left, I stood, flinching. I had longed for Tai so long. I had loved him since I became his best friend. I had hid those feelings from him no matter how much self-control it took. When he told me, nearly dancing with joy, that he and Sora were a couple, my heart sank. What little hope I had left that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about me as I felt for him, died that day. But I couldn't let go of my love. I couldn't stop loving him. It tore at me inside when I saw the two of them holding hands or kissing or whispering into each other's ears. I never said a word. I pretended to be disgusted by it as a person would be disgusted at seeing his brother make out with a girl. I hid under the pretense that I loved him like a brother when in reality, I loved him so much more. I longed for him so greatly when I was around him, my whole body strained to touch his flawless skin and ached to feel his lips. So far, I had succeeded in hiding what I truly felt but I knew that it was only a matter of time before I slipped and everything came tumbling out.
"He-ey, YaMAtoo!" A chirpy, annoying voice popped up. I cringed. My headache was massive and any noise, be it loud or soft, any noise at all, only caused my head to throb and the temple above my right eye to be filled with a dull pounding and the feeling was similar to that of a jackhammer drilling itself into my skull. "I was looking for you! Where'd you, like, go?" I forced myself to turn and groaned inwardly. She followed me like a lost puppy-dog and knew everything about me. It got to the point where she was basically stalking me and every time she talked to me, she asked me out. Could the girl not take a hint? "So," she fidgeted with her black pigtails when I didn't answer, "you wanna go catch a movie tomorrow?" I was too tired to hide my irritation and exploded.
"NO. NO, I do NOT want to go the damn movies with you. I'm sorry but I have rejected you five million times and counting. Can you not take a hint? I do not like you and I never will. Leave me alone!" I found myself shouting into the shocked face of a girl with brown eyes and black hair.
"But you always seemed so interested when I talked to you before. Did I do something wrong?" I stifled a shriek and before I started shouting again, I shuffled away towards my next class, leaving her to stand where she was, watching me wistfully. Sometimes I really hated the human race. At the rate I was walking, I would get there next week. Not that I didn't mind.
Inside class, I rested my throbbing head against my arms and allowed my mind to wander towards a certain bushy-haired, chocolate-eyed someone who was my best friend. I remembered times with him where we talked about everything, everything except for the simple fact that my father abused me and that he was the object of my affections. I allowed myself to dwell on the time when my dad was a hard-working man who didn't drink except for the beer every so often, when I was happy and we were just young boys, naïve in the ways of the world but having so much fun growing up. I smiled softly to myself when I recalled the days in the DigiWorld where we had fought like cats and dogs. While I hated it when he was upset, I had fun watching him when he was frustrated. His face turned red, as if he was holding his breath, his eyes flashed and bulged and his hair seemed to get even bigger, if that was possible. It was when he clenched his hands into fists that you had to get out of the way.
"Mr. Ishida, care to join us in this discussion?" the scratchy voice of my teacher reached my ears and my head jerked up. I immediately regretted the action. The pounding only increased and I put a hand up to my forehead. Suddenly, her whole countenance changed; her face went pale and, in a slightly panicked tone, said, "Yamato, go to the nurse. Taichi, bring his books, please." I stood and Taichi rushed to my side, gathering my things as I walked numbly out the door. I beyond caring about anything at the moment and shrugged. They could send me home but there was no way they could make me go. I'd walk to the park and spend the rest of the day there. I wasn't spending any extra time with that bastard than I had to and if I had a choice, wouldn't go home at all.
"Yama?" Tai's voice was soft and the only noise that didn't hurt my ears. I think he said something else but I wasn't sure. All I could hear was a buzzing in my ears. Why was the world was spinning underneath my feet? My head felt like it was going to burst; the pain was almost unbearable. Then the ground rushed up to meet me and everything went black.
A/N: i don't know about this chapter. i wrote it this morning at about 3 a.m. couldn't sleep, what can i say? i think i was just rambling but poor Yama, eh? reviews are what keeps me going and i'm probably gonna post really frequently cuz i've got a basic idea of what's going to happen. hope you like!