Disclaimer: not making money off of this therefore you cannot sue me. haha
I woke up feeling happy, warm, and rested. These were feelings I hadn't felt for a long time, not since my dad became an alcoholic after he was fired from his job. I sighed and stretched, opening my eyes and drank in the sight and smell of Tai's room. Everything was still dark so I guess that it was really early in the morning. Suddenly, I was wide awake. Tai's room! I had stayed in Tai's room overnight? My heart sank and my stomach clenched. I was going to pay with all hell for not going home. I groaned and a snuffling noise behind me got my attention. That was when I felt an arm around my waist and became painfully aware of something warm and soft on my neck. I slowly turned and came face to face with Tai, who was still sleeping with his face pressed up against my neck. I grinned, feeling stupid that I was so ridiculously happy. We had slept over at each others' houses many times so this was nothing new. I turned my body so that I was facing him and watched him sleep. He was so beautiful.
I propped my head up with my hand, my elbow resting on the pillow. Slowly, softly so he wouldn't feel, I ran my fingers over his face and stopped at his mouth, wishing it could be my lips resting on his. He shifted just then, my hand jerked up, and he mumbled something. His brow furrowed and amidst the jumble of indistinguishable words, I heard my name. He was dreaming about me? A bubble of hope blossomed in my chest but I squashed it automatically. I would never be loved by him; he was too good, too perfect. What would he want from someone like me? Feeling hopeless, I took in the sight of his face and the way his long, thick lashes rested, like a butterfly's kiss, on his cheekbones, wishing I could call him my own. I sighed sadly. Deciding to make the best of my current situation, I snuggled closer, closed my eyes and went back to sleep, safe for the first time in a while in his arms; the last thing I saw before I drifted off again was his beautiful face.
The second time I awoke, the sun was streaming in through the curtains. The sound of water striking tile came to my ears and off-key singing made me smile. That was Tai, always the goofball, one of the many qualities I adored about him. The water stopped and I heard the sound of wet feet padding across the floor. The door opened and with a cloud of steam billowing behind him, Tai entered the room, clad only in a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was plastered to his head, for once, it looked normal and tame. I blushed at his half-nakedness but damn, was he hot!
"You don't mind, do you?" he asked and without waiting for my answer, turned his back on me and rummaged through his messy closet. I took advantage of this and admired him as he bent down and dug through the ancient layers of dirty clothes gathering dust on the floor of his closet. "Ah-ha!" he cried triumphantly, pulling out a dark blue tee-shirt and matching plaid boxers. He pulled the boxers on then dropped the towel around his ankles while slipping on the shirt. "You want to take a shower, Yama? Kari doesn't wake up for another thirty minutes." His voice was muffled; he was bent over again, this time looking for a pair of shorts. I shrugged though he couldn't see me.
"Um, I don't usually take a shower in the morning. I'm okay. It's not like I run around in the sun all day and get sweaty and smelly." I dodged the musty pillow Tai threw at me. "But do you have something I could wear? Something that's not been hidden in that closet of yours since the Stone Age?" I added with a smirk.
"Shut it, Yama. You could get something clean in that basket over there." He gestured vaguely towards the door. In front of it was a laundry basket piled high with fresh, clean clothes.
"Why don't you just wear these? I'm sure these ones have no chance of smelling like mothballs." I sifted through it, trying to find something that wasn't thin and wouldn't show off my bruises to the world. I headed to the bathroom with my choices but it was locked.
"Excuse me! Someone's in here already!" Kari's voice screamed over the spray of the water.
"Sorry." I called back.
"You can change in here." Tai offered. "I'm still looking for my pants but it's no biggie, right?" He looked at me from between his legs. As we had always been comfortable changing in front of the other, I didn't want to sound suspicious, so I shrugged nonchalantly, though my heart was thudding uncomfortably in my chest.
"Nah. No problem." I muttered to myself, "yeah, right." I sat on the bed and removed the jeans I wore yesterday, grimacing at the discoloration of the bruises. I hastily pulled on some long khaki pants and buckled it firmly. I threw off the turtleneck and was about to pull a blue and gray striped sweater over my head when Tai looked around. Judging by the gasp that emitted from his mouth, I knew he saw them.
"Yama?" he whispered, "how'd you get those?" I looked down. Huge yellow, green, and purple bruises covered my arms and back. The cuts that I'd received as a result of the beatings was either scabbed or oozing yellowish pus. Everything hurt like hell now that I was aware of every mark on my body. He walked over and closed the door, slamming it shut. "How'd you get those?" He demanded, more firmly than before. I was aware of the ache in my chest and inside my head I screamed. Trying to force calm, I closed my eyes to avoid seeing his brown ones filled with concern and horror.
"I can't tell you." I said, trying to be firm but it came out barely louder than a breath. "I can't. Tai, I'm sorry." I opened my eyes and saw that he looked hurt and confused and disappointed. I was his best friend after all and to not be able to tell him something, to him was like a stab in the chest. "I- I just can't."
"But you have to tell someone. Who did that to you?" Tai's voice was bitingly angry and his fists clenched. "Who did that to you? I'll kill them, I will."
"NO!" I jumped at him and grabbed his wrists, staring into his face. I had to make him understand, he couldn't get himself involved. I had to protect him; he would only get hurt if he knew. "No, you can't know. You can't get involved. Please, don't ask this of me. I couldn't-"
"Yama. Whoever's doing this to you doesn't deserve to walk free. He or she can't get away with this." His voice was quiet now and full of worry for me.
"I'll be okay. It stops hurting after a while." I tried to reassure him. It stops hurting after a while but by then you have new ones. Face it, you never escape the pain. A snide little voice in my head spoke up. I suppressed it. "I'll be okay."
"But Yama," he protested, shaking his head, "you're hurting. You know it and I know it. That's why you had a headache yesterday. That's why you passed out. Let me help you. I hate seeing you like this. Where's my friend? The sarcastic bastard who challenged my leadership abilities, where's the fire that used to burn inside of you? You're not the same anymore, Yama. This has changed you and I want to help. I can't stand seeing you hurting like this." He said the last part so quietly I had to strain to hear it. I gulped but gave no answer. The door to the bathroom opened and I hurriedly dropped the sweater over my head, threading my arms through the long sleeves.
"What's going on?" Kari, who was too perceptive for her own good, noticed the tense atmosphere between the two of us. She looked at Tai, then at me but neither of us said anything. "What's wrong? Tai?"
"Nothing, Kari. Nothing's wrong." Tai's voice had a false cheeriness so bright that I knew Kari saw right through it. She pursed her lips but pressed the subject no more. "I'm going to get some breakfast ready. Any requests? Kari? Yama?" Both of us shrugged. Tai could cook and whatever he prepared we knew we would love. Besides, I didn't get nearly enough to eat as it was so I welcomed any food that was edible.
"You make something." Kari said. "We'll love it, whatever it is." He puffed up his chest with pride and walked out the room. "Yama? What's going on?" I wasn't expecting that. Then again, she was never one who wasn't easily distracted.
"Ah, uhm," I stalled, "it's nothing. Like Tai said, it's nothing." I gave her a fake smile and nearly knocked her over as I ran from the room. I didn't need her and Tai to know what was going on at my house. It would ruin my life as well as theirs and there was no way I would ever let that happen; I cared about them too much for them to be hurt because they were trying to help me. I couldn't stand it if they were hurt and it was my fault.
A/N: blarg. The last paragraph wouldn't write! It's really repetitive I think but oh well… I'm too lazy to try and revise it. Let me know what you all think! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! feels all warm and fuzzy inside
Spazz: Keep in mind that yes, Tai is a bit dense… not that he's stupid but he's not exactly perceptive either. He knows something's wrong but doesn't want to make any assumptions as to what is.