A/N: If you were wondering, this is story was the product of the combined efforts of two LOTR fans at about midnight. It started in the same place and time as the story begins in, Tel's basement, late at night, while Cel was visiting. It's taken us a long time to get it edited and up because of distance (about 300 miles) and the fact that we wanted to get as much of the rough draft done as possible before stating to post. Basically, we wrote this for our own amusement. It's strange and really, almost painfully AU, but we had a helluva lot of fun with it.

Also, as with most stories this one takes awhile to get going. Don't judge the story by this first chapter, it gets better. Thanks , Enjoy!

-'Telphanra'

DISCLAIMER:

Tel: Hi. Regrettably, we don't own LOTR.

Cel: As most people know.

Tel: As much as I would love to say that I have the entire fellowship as well as everyone from the Silmarillion carefully stored in my basement, I don't. That would require far too much duct tape.

Cel: But I do...in my fantasy world

Tel: Would you use duct tape too? Or do you think string would work better?

Cel: Duct tape, works for everything.

Tel: Like canoes !

Cel: But of course.

Once upon a time in the land-locked, semi urban, and fairly uninteresting haven of a small midwestern city, two old friends were catching up after several months of separation. Sure, it was about eleven P.M., and the parents of one of the two girls were attempting to sleep directly above the basement they occupied, but this was hardly a good reason to NOT watch a certain movie...a certain three hour movie...during which they had a habit of laughing insanely

"Hey, Robin, hurry up with that popcorn! You're missing the beginning part.. Galadriel's getting all spooky!"

"Nooooo, wait! Pause it! Pause it I say!"

Robin, an inhabitant of the house, rushed through the door carrying two overflowing bowls of popcorn (light butter to be specific). Her friend, Gwen, the visitor, took it upon herself to add another request while her hostess was up..

"Oh and while you're up, close the goddamn window! You know how I get about windows!"

Smiling, but rolling her eyes slightly, Robin replied

"Yeah, yeah I know, you never know when something or someone will try to get in and kill us all. Good grief she's paranoid..."

There was a bright flash outside, shortly followed by a loud rumble.

"Oooo! Thunderstorm!"

Hastily depositing the popcorn in Gwen's lap, she ran to the window, eyes alight with a slightly maniacal twinkle.

"That's what I love about Augustâ€sooo many T-Stormsâ€and this looks like a good one." She continued.

With a not-quite-tolerant sigh, Gwen said

"No really! Now get your ass over here!"

Unwillingly regaining her focus, Robin closed the drapes and sat down next to her friend

"My ass takes offence." she laughed. "WOW wait, pause it, I want to see Gil-Galad!"

"Who the hell is that anyway?"

With another slight roll of her eyes, Robin sighed

"God Gwen, you have to read the books!"

With a small, bored wave of her hand and a look of long suffering, the girl answered

"I'm getting' to it, I'm gettin' to it.. Besides, why read them myself when I have you to tell me everything?" She stuck out her tongue.

Robin mumbled "Lazy bum"

Gwen growled "I heard that you idiot!"

"Heard whaaa. Ooooooo!"

Robin exclaimed as she leaned towards the screen..

"What?"

"Pause it here, pause it here, it's the big fight scene!"

Narrowing her eyes, Gwen replied

"NO way. YOU get over here with that popcorn, sit your ass down, and watch the damn movie! We can't pause it every thirty seconds!"

"No! YOU give ME the remote and I'll pause it myself!" Robin retorted as she lunged for the remote.

Her friend gave a desperate howl,

"Never!!" and then, turning, "Huh?!"

Confused, her opponent paused in her frantic grabbing long enough to ask

"What?"

Shortly followed by

"HOLY SHIT!"

She had followed the direction of Gwen's eyes to an unshaded window, where intensely bright light could be seen. A ground-shaking roll of thunder, more flashes, and silence quickly cut off the girls' surprised screams..

Which was broken by the voice of Kate Blanchett from the T.V.

"For there will soon come a time when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all"

Meanwhile, a few dimensions/millennia away, somewhere off the border of Fangorn and Rohan:

Gandalf and Aragorn were stumbling around in a driving rain, during a storm equally as violent as the one appearing in America in 2003..

"Gandalf! We should wait out the storm here..." Aragorn bellowed over the storm, this was beginning to get dangerous..

Gandalf yelled back over his shoulder, "NO! I want to reach the forest before we make camp!"

Aragorn winced and quietly mumbled "Fine! Stubborn old Istar. We'll just leave the mortals to melt..."

Suddenly, a blinding light followed by a huge thunder blast appeared some distance away from the two travelers, over the trees of Fangorn Forest

Gandalf stopped abruptly,

"What the name of..."

His companion, having walked into him and seen the flash in the same moment, finished the statement for the wizard..

"Eru!"

The Istari regained his composure,

"Thank you. On second thought, perhaps we should camp out under those bushes"

With a sigh of relief (inaudible over the storm) Aragorn shouted back

"I agree!"

Then, once again muttering, "Told you so"

Although he gave no sign of hearing the man, Gandalf though angrily to himself, "Childish dunadan! In my day, Atani always showed respect for a Maia"

End chapter one