Sarra
A Firefly fan fiction by Melissa Ordesky.
Disclaimer: Firefly does not belong to me, nor does Charmed.
Summary: Leaping to a bad conclusion... Ain't always the best thing to do on Serenity. Set just before Inara is due to leave Serenity.
A/N: Sep-rutting-tember. I think y'all know what I'm rantin' on about!
-----
"Are you sure it's safe?"
Inara pursed her lips, still a bright slash of scarlet despite the darkness of her shuttle, looking nervously with her large dark eyes at the contraption Kaylee had rigged together.
"It's perfectly fine, Inara." Kaylee beamed happily, dusting her hands off on the knees of her brown-used-to-be-beige dungarees. "All I had to do was strip the wire and old-style plug, re-attach it to a-"
"-I don't think I need to know." Inara shook her head in amusement at the optimistic mechanic, before settling down at the curve of one of the coaches. She looked doubtfully around at her crowded shuttle, wondering how come she'd agreed to have the entertainment nights there, and sighed. There were too many arguments when they held the weekly meet in the kitchen, because not everyone could see the screen. Mal had protested that all they did was sit and watch it instead of having conversation at mealtimes, and had summarily banned it from the kitchen area, and nowhere else was really right to do it.
The cargo bay was too big, and gave Kaylee the shivers if something scary happened onscreen. Even though they explained 'til they were blue in the face that the monsters were made of plastic and smoke and mirrors, Kaylee still got scared. The other shuttle, while being round and easier to get a look in at the screen, was uncomfortable. Somehow the other spare rooms weren't quite the right shape to get everyone in comfortably, and she'd volunteered her shuttle just to stop the fighting as a headache threatened to arrive.
This was the seventh week they'd been in there, and at three episodes of Charmed a sitting, she hoped Jayne couldn't bargain another absolutely ancient television series on any other planet before they reached Persephone and she left for good.
To be honest, that was another reason for holding the weekly meets in her shuttle. It was a bonding session for the small, hotchpotch of a crew, a chance to grab a few more precious memories before she had to leave.
Had to. It all sounded a little too final for Inara, a little too unavoidable. She hated the inflexibility of had to. She'd spent too many years training in the Guild to appear flawless and sophisticated and graceful at all times, with no room for any kind of imperfection. Her choice to sail around the 'verse in a Firefly class vessel was considered idiosyncratic for the beautiful Companion, but allowed as a small quirk.
Inara loved Serenity as if the amalgamation of parts and bits which didn't seem much separately combined to make the strong 'boat' that could wade through space with a remarkable elegance was an individual member of the crew. She loved the flexibility, and the fact she could delay clients for a day or two citing the journeying delays, although this was something she'd rather die than admit to Mal.
It was one of many items on the list of other similar truths.
Even though it wasn't a life-or-death had to, or someone else forcing her had to, it was still a very relevant had to. She'd been procrastinating for too long, even now, allowing Mal's blatant excuse to have her on board for another few months because it coincided with her own reluctance to leave. But she had to. If she didn't go soon, she'd never do it, and that was one of the biggest reasons for the had to in the first place.
"Man, I dig this retro stuff," Wash commented lazily, startling Inara from her thoughts with his frank and individual way of saying things.
"If you can call items from half a millennia ago retro," Zoe remarked coolly, shifting in her spot nestled on the floor, lying against Wash's legs, curled up comfortably against him. Inara could almost swear that Zoe was on the verge of purring.
"In that case, Serenity's entire engine is retro," Jayne said teasingly, ducking out of the way of Kaylee's playful swipe.
"Shurrup," Kaylee returned. "I wanna watch this."
"Sure is kind of ridiculous," Mal said smoothly, only the slightly uncomfortable look on his face belying that he was only really saying something to say it, rather than having something to say. He'd been making an effort to do so in the last few months. No one else noticed how uncomfortable Mal was around Inara, except Inara herself. "Witches and wizards an' all."
"There's just witches, and hot ones too," Jayne remarked, openly staring at the cleavages of the women on screen.
"Jayne, those women died five hundred years ago, give or take a couple of years," Simon said, sounding slightly appalled.
"Lots of things died five hundred years ago," River commented airily.
"Thanks for that insightful comment, River," Mal said, sharing a grin with the fragile teenager. River smiled back. That was one relationship that included Mal that hadn't been stiff and fake for the last couple of months, Inara noted. The two had gotten to be co-conspirators if not quite friends when the bounty hunter Early attacked the ship for the prank River played on them.
"Respectfully sir, will you please shut up? Some of us are tryin' to listen." Kaylee fixed Mal with a dark look, and Mal instantly stuck his tongue out at her and shut up.
"Don't give up," the brown haired guy was saying on screen to the stabbed man on the bed.
"You either."
Inara kept her dark eyes on the screen, resisting the urge to flicker looks at Mal. She'd tried to stop herself from doing that months ago, but it didn't work. Every so often she felt the irresistible urge to look at him, gauge his reactions, see what his feelings were on the situation. Now it took all her will not to.
Thankfully, the events on screen distracted her. The character onscreen was her favourite, and had just apparently died and disappeared. Go figure, she thought moodily, rubbing Kaylee's knee supportively as the overly-attached-to-the-characters mechanic started to sob.
"He can't be dead," Kaylee moaned. "He was too pretty to die."
"Oh yeah," Simon said unsympathetically. "Prettiness is a medical attribute which stops people dying."
Kaylee gave him an expression that could have curdled milk, and steadfastly trained her eyes on the screen, refusing to look at him. Simon shot a look at Inara which clearly said what did I do this time? and Inara gave a sympathetic nod back at him. Turning her head to him meant she caught a glimpse of Mal, though, but for once he wasn't looking as if he were faking a particular expression. A genuinely stony expression was settled on his face, and he was sharing a dark glance with Zoe, who also looked genuinely upset.
Turning back to the television, Inara watched the events dully, mulling over their expression, until one of the war stories that Zoe and Mal told her while they were reminiscing over Tracey came back. It was a phrase they'd used during the Battle of Serenity Valley. Too damn pretty to die. And the guy hadn't made it, Inara had looked it up afterwards, he'd been one of the ones that had died from his wounds while waiting for the Alliance med ships.
No wonder they look so upset, she thought miserably as the character on screen started shooting lightning bolts out of his hands.
"Yeah, that's it Leo," Wash said, cheering the character on. "Destroy helpless furniture because your son's died."
"Hey, don't be so unsympathetic," Zoe chided right back. "Some people feel sentimental over their children."
Wash cringed. Inara surmised a popular argument between the two had probably resurfaced.
"Some parents don't," Simon remarked dourly, obviously referring to his own father. He'd told them about how he was unwilling to save River when she was clearly in danger.
"I think I could imagine almost everyone here getting' sentimental over their kids," Kaylee said dreamily, her anguish over the character's death dissipating as her optimism slammed into gear again. "Except maybe you, Jayne."
"Hey," Jayne protested, more out of habit than actually believing it. "I've grown up lookin' after my mother, and if I have the unfortunate habit of spewin' out a kid somewhere, I'm gonna raise it the same way me ma raised me."
"What, deformed?" Simon quipped, high-fiving River after she laughed.
"I can't really see the cap'n as getting sentimental over kids either," Jayne said, clearly grouching.
"Probably true an' all," Wash agreed. He twisted to grin at the captain, to indicate he was joking, but he wasn't there. "Hey, where did the cap'n go?"
Inara blinked as they all turned to look where he was, and it was true - he had gone.
"Weird, when did he go?" Kaylee asked, oblivious to the onscreen action where the bad guy was getting his ass kicked.
"I didn't notice," Book said, "and I've been sat right next to him."
Inara sniffed. "Probably gone off somewhere to brood."
"Eh, well," Wash said, rubbing his nose. "It's only one letter away from broody."
Zoe smacked him in the arm. "One letter closer'n you'll ever be," she said disdainfully.
-----
The bruises and cuts were obviously not self-inflicted. The crew had tried to inquire about them, subtly and then forcibly, and when they continued to do so, Mal just cut them the hell off. He took his meals in his room now, face like a thundercloud whenever he stalked the realms of the ship, and it had gotten so bad that Inara had faced him and demanded a precise calendar date for her leaving so she could start packing.
He'd reeled off a date without even batting an eyelid. His face was closed up tighter than she'd ever seen it, and he'd just walked off.
The others had noticed too, which was why, instead of watching the next disc to see if her favourite witch had survived, they were discussing him instead, seeing as he wasn't there.
"He ain't eating that food he's taking to his room," Kaylee declared, her round face pinched with upset. "I'd damned sure bet my life on it, but I checked all the outlet pipes. No food's been sent down reclamation 'cepting those fish flakes that turned all gruesome on us."
"Must be a week since I've seen him eat anything," Zoe affirmed, her knees tight together, looking wholly out of place in Inara's softly dressed shuttle and looking more and more like a fighter. "Doctor, is there any way you can run some tests on him? Surreptitious, like."
Simon frowned, the internal debate of morality splaying awkwardly on his face. His inability to not show his emotions physically embarrassed him when he was told of it, and with Jayne around, he was told often. "Not without him noticing," he admitted after a moment's deliberation. "But if someone was, say, to accidentally put a sedative in his drink, and make sure he drank it…"
"We'll keep that as a backup," Book said, clearly just as uncomfortable as Simon was with the idea. "Maybe we could take the direct route."
"Ask him?" Wash's face was a picture of disbelief. "Ha, I can just imagine that." By the dazed look that crept on his face, the others let him imagine that scenario and continued to talk.
"Actually, doping him might not be a bad idea."
They all turned to see Jayne, who'd been sulking seeing as he wasn't allowed to see "no more hot witch booty ass". He was looking just as uncomfortable as Book and Simon, and they all knew instantly that it wasn't the same kind of morality struggle.
"Jayne, if this is about you continuing your campaign on spreading novocaine to the masses after what Simon did-" Kaylee began.
"I ain't bringing that up no more. Not after that she-devil is still running around half-cocked," Jayne grumbled, eye-balling River evilly. The girl just stuck her tongue out in return. "No. When we were back on Shadow, you know."
"Obviously not, seeing as we're all sat here just as confused as before," Simon said.
Jayne glowered. "Well, cap'n were awful shifty beforehand. Don't think he likes the place at all."
"So he's being a brat because we went to a planet he didn't like?" Inara asked, incredulous, wondering why they let Jayne speak.
The mercenary flushed awkwardly, although if you asked Jayne why his cheeks were a mite bit reddened, he'd have grumbled something about heat and possibly waved something sharp at you, or maybe at himself.
"Naw. When we was taking off, I saw him smuggle something on board. Something so shaped." Jayne held out his broad hands a fair distance apart. A human-sized distance apart. "Now I ain't saying it was a girl, but-"
"-you thought it was a girl," Kaylee said, her eyes wide, the words sliding out in a single breath. She looked disconcerted, as if all the scenarios for why the cap'n would smuggle a girl to his rooms were playing simultaneously in her head.
"But we haven't seen hide nor hair of someone else," Zoe said, her brow furrowed. "And we ain't been anywhere to drop anyone off, either."
"Bet it's Saffron," Wash grouched, obviously out of his daydream now. Everyone bristled. No one wanted to meet her again any time soon.
"If it is, I'm taking her head off," Zoe said, "with my bare hands."
"That's my girl," Wash said, admiringly.
"Well, we can't do anything unless we know who it is for sure," Inara said, trying to be reasonable even though she was seething underneath just as much as the others were. "So we need a plan. A plan to get Mal out of the way, and us in the way."
Kaylee squealed suddenly. "Oh. Oh. Oh. I got it." She squirmed on her seat a little, obviously excited. "We tell him he's missed a call when he stomps off to his room, to go to Greenleaf. Zoe takes him down to somewhere, where we can have had Jayne bury a big ole empty box beforehand, and when he's gone, we can search his room."
"Ooh, good plan," Wash said, immediately agreeing, looking to his wife to back him up.
"It's straight, I'll give you that, and I ain't all that good at wanting to lie to him," Zoe admitted. "But it's necessary, so I think it's a good plan. Nice one, Kaylee."
Kaylee beamed.
Book snorted a little, and patted her hair. "I think young Simon's been a bad influence on you, passing on his evil genius," the Shepherd commented with a wink at the doctor. Simon flushed a little.
"He gets that from me," River explained airily, tossing her hair and looking pleased while Simon just rolled his eyes to the ceiling.
"I'll go and find a box," Jayne offered, his cheeks a little pink. Inara inwardly shook her head a little and laughed. Jayne was often painfully transparent when it came to his feelings for Kaylee, and the little mechanic was completely oblivious. It was probably a good idea, Kaylee was too sweet for the abrasive mercenary and Jayne was one of the ones that knew it most.
-----
They were running to Mal's room just as soon as the hatch door closed.
Kaylee and Wash took up position at the door, breaking through the simple security system with ease. Simon went first, his med kit tossed over one arm, and from his muffled swearing, it wasn't good.
"It's a girl," Simon called up, and Wash slid down the ladder to help.
"Son of a bitch," Wash said, and the others looked at each other in worry. "Can you lower the harness? We'll just untie her and put her in. She's asleep. Sedated, I reckon."
"Dopamine, looks like," Simon muttered.
Untie her? Kaylee's eyes were wide with the question, and she looked in horror at Inara, whose stomach was performing familiar flips. They all helped to pull up the harness, and Inara's heart sank at the sight of her. Pale skin, sagging from her face, grey in parts. Cuts, bruises, blood, scars everywhere. A cotton shrift, just modest enough to cover her thighs, and Inara would bet scars up under there too.
They rushed the girl to the infirmary, and Simon pushed most of them out so he could run tests on her, Kaylee determinedly staying behind to help be his 'nurse', determined to help.
After several hours, close to the time Mal and Zoe were due back, Simon and Kaylee left the room to where the others were waiting.
"How is she?" Book asked, looking through the window to the still-doped girl.
"I'm afraid she's been beaten, several times. She's horribly under-nourished, been raped-" Simon's voice was tight, and Inara felt all the blood fall from her face. Simon obviously saw her expression, because he shook his head. "The blood and scratches are recent, but there's no evidence that she was abused like that recently."
"I still can't believe he would-" Kaylee's voice was lost, desperate.
"I'm not sure he did," Simon said, breaking in, but knew from the others' faces that it wasn't an opinion shared by the others. "I- I've seen this girl before." The blank faces staring at him registered confusion. "In one of the psychiatric wards on Shadow. She was one of the cases one of my co-workers studied. Saw something terrible, and went mad. A lot of cases like that are at that Shadow hospital, the ones from parents who couldn't afford the healthcare. The state subsides the care in return for them being allowed to be studied by Med students."
"So maybe he was just rescuing her, you mean?" Wash said. He spread his large hands. "I don't know if I've ever thought him capable of this, but to be honest, who here knows the captain? At all?"
"Zoe," Kaylee said. "But-" Her face, usually bright with innocence, was clouded with doubt. "Do you know her name?"
"Huh?" Simon's face was pinched slightly, and he exhaled. "Um, no."
"Well, I don't see that we have a choice," Wash said, folding his arms. "We're all a damn fine crew, and I can't work under a man like that."
"What are you suggesting?" Kaylee's eyes filled with tears. "Leave Serenity?"
"That's exactly what he's damn suggesting," Jayne said. They looked up to see him standing in the doorway. "And I ain't going to be one who stays here, either."
"Me, neither," Inara said, quietly.
"I-" Kaylee's shoulder sagged. "I couldn't stay on Serenity without you being there, 'nara, Wash, Jayne- It wouldn't be Serenity, then."
Inara felt a rush of guilt that she was going to leave Serenity anyway.
"I'm staying," Simon said, his voice firm. They looked at him. "I want to hear his side of the story first."
"Me, too," River said. "Story sides are fun and can be thrilling."
"And I wouldn't leave without an explanation either," Book said, "but if there isn't one, I too, couldn't stay. I have some contacts at one of the monasteries here on Greenleaf, we should be able to find somewhere safe for the girl."
"Right then, we've decided," Wash said. "Pack, and we'll wait for Zoe and Mal in the storage bay."
-----
Mal was already fuming by the time they got back to the ship. Zoe didn't care to listen too closely to the muffled sounds falling from his mouth. She knew she'd heard it all before, but that still didn't mean she was in the mood to hear it.
"Wash, we're back," Mal ground out into the communicator, and Zoe held a fair distance back while the hatch door lowered. She stopped, and stared, and saw Mal's back stiffen as he did the same. "What in gorram hell to pieces is goin' on here?" Sweeping into the ship, Mal's voice was harsh as he looked in disbelief at the crew, standing defensively together in a huddle, with packed boxes around their feet.
"We're leaving," Wash announced.
"I can see that!" Mal spluttered, staring at them in disbelief.
Just as confused, Zoe moved up to her husband, eyes wide.
"We don't want to serve under a captain who would do something like that to a girl," Wash hissed, and Mal's eyes narrowed. His eyes swept around the bay, to see that Simon, River and Book did not have their possessions their. In fact, Simon was bent over with some of his equipment, holding a pale hand in his own. Mal couldn't see the rest of the person, but knew exactly what had happened.
"I can't believe this-" Mal started, and stopped, as the figure in Simon's arms launched upwards with a keening scream, obviously reliving some horrendous nightmare. She convulsed in Simon's arms, brown eyes wide, wispy blonde hair in a frazzled storm around her head. Her hands lashed out.
Mal stepped forwards instantly, his eyes on the girl, worry flooding his handsome features.
"Please," the girl begged, looking directly at him, "they're hurting me!"
Like dropping a hot potato, Simon moved back, and the girl scrambled awkwardly to her feet, like a newborn gazelle finding its legs for the first time. Furious, Mal met her half-way, and she collapsed into his arms, sobbing.
"Sssshh," Mal soothed. "It's okay, Sarra. I'm right here. Sssshh." They sank in a heap onto one of the loaded cargo boxes. He took her chin in one hand, gentle.
"They killed mom," Sarra whispered through her tears. "She died in red, her favourite colour."
Almost as if he was heartbroken, Mal nodded at her. "I know, sweetheart. I know." She bent her head into his chest again, her eyes sliding shut, her slight form trembling. He looked up over her bowed head, his eyes suddenly flint-hard. "Simon, I'd appreciate some medical help. The rest of you? Bugger the hell off if you want. I've got no use for a crew that would think me capable of this."
He picked up Sarra as if she weighed nothing, and without a word strode off in the direction of the infirmary.
----
tbc…