Sarra
A Firefly fan fiction by Melissa Ordesky.
Disclaimer: Firefly does not belong to me. If it did, the film would be out in March as an apology for scaring the fans with Septemberness. (Yes, just like Joss Whedon, I can invent weirdass but cool words too.)
Summary: Leaping to a bad conclusion... Ain't always the best thing to do on Serenity. Set just before Inara is due to leave Serenity.
Mandarin is, as always, from Ying's fabulous Firefly Chinese Piriyinary, and is also in italics; the translation is at the end of the fic.
A/N: God, this fic is cheesy, predictable, and I loooove writing it. And to whomever it was that whinged that I haven't updated for a week, I'll let you in on a secret. I had to mostly abandon one fandom because I updated my fics yearly. A week is good, comparatively. Haha.
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Chapter Two
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He knew the others were out there, listening, fearfully watching and waiting his wrath, but he honestly couldn't give a damn at that moment. Malcolm Reynolds' attention was fully focussed on the slip of a girl lying so close to death in the infirmary chair.
"She'll be fine," Simon said, assuring him, shooting occasional glances at the captain as he worked. "She's a little dehydrated, under-nourished, nothing a good couple of meals won't fix." He busied himself with a small recording device that measured blood pressure and the like. "One of my friends at med school examined her in the hospital at Shadow," he said, eventually. "I know she'll have been through some heavy psychological trauma of some sort. It would- help my administrations if I knew what kind of trauma."
Mal exhaled heavily. "I tried to pay for her to be kept in the hospital," he started, fidgeting. Simon knew the war veteran found it hard to talk about his past, by the sheer fact that he hadn't ever talked about his past before the war, and continued running the standard tests, giving Mal space to talk. "Alliance raised cost too high. Couldn't afford it no more. She'd been kept a couple months in Alliance security-" his mouth twisted wryly, "-until I could pick her up. I promised someone of my family that I would protect her. She-"
The word hung heavily in the air for a while.
Simon looked at him expectantly.
"She was the only survivor of a Reaver attack," Mal said, and if the words ran a little too close together, Simon didn't acknowledge it.
He was too busy standing there with his mouth open, after all.
"She- She was what?" Simon's voice rose upwards as he spoke. "Sons of bitches!"
Mal grinned, but there was no humour there. It was tight ire, bitterness incarnate. "The alliance had told us that area of space would not be touched by the Reavers, and they were attacked. Sarra went almost as bad as the guy we picked up last year. Docs said she'd have to be killed, 'cept they told me of this expensive new procedure to remove her memories of the previous year."
Simon looked at him, his face tight. "They experimented on her brain."
Mal nodded, knowing exactly what the young doctor was thinking. "It did remove her memories of the previous year," he said, almost as if he couldn't believe it, but the bitterness came back swiftly, "but it left her as a permanent five year old, with violent urges. Her mind ain't quite all there."
Simon's face contorted, holding back another swear word. "I- there were some medications that worked well with River, up to a point. I know the ones which will cause too much sickness and side-effects."
"No."
"She me?"
"No medicine," Mal elaborated, his eyes hard. "I ain't going to let her go through all that gou cao de treatment again."
"But-"
"No arguments." Mal's face closed off. "We're gonna do what we can to make her comfortable, while-"
"While what?" Simon instantly demanded.
"While we're here," Mal snapped.
Simon's frow burrowed.
"And it's an order," Mal added.
"Doctor's orders countermand captain's orders even on ships," Simon countered back. At Mal's fury, he swiftly continued. "At least let me rehydrate her and finish my scans."
Mal looked as if he was going to disagree, purely on principle, but one look across at the limp girl in the bed obviously helped him resist that impulse. Tightly, he nodded. "Will it take long?"
"Dopamine will wear off in another two hours, at the most. I'll call you as soon as she's awake."
Mal nodded, his face entirely unreadable. "You do that."
Simon nodded dutifully, adjusting the frequency of his scanner and moving it over Sarra's head. Mal touched the girl's hand briefly.
"Be safe, nian qing de," Mal spoke softer so that the others outside couldn't hear him. Now Simon could read his face a little, and he saw a thousand emotions that tore at him. It wasn't often Mal was this open with anything.
Simon shifted closer to him, on the pretence of scanning lower. His voice just as low so the others couldn't hear, he said, "I lied to the others. I know her surname is Reynolds."
Mal just jerked his head slowly in acknowledgement and without another word stalked out of the small infirmary.
Only to be accosted by a throng of guilty looking faces, who wouldn't let him through the door.
"I thought I sacked the lot of you," Mal grumbled, hanging back with an expression like thunder when he realised they were actually serious. He did tense into a position which meant he could go for Jayne's throat, though. Generally attacking one of them scared the rest away.
"I realise my pedantic nature will no doubt land me on my remarkably pert ass, but you did use the phrase 'if you want'," Wash broke in, his chin jutting in an obstinate fashion.
"Yeah, you're right," Mal mused.
Wash's face registered confusion, just before Mal's fist swung and connected with his face. Wash landed, yup, right on his ass.
Zoe just started to snicker, even as she helped her husband to his feet again.
"Okay, I deserved that," Wash muttered.
"Cap'n, we are really sorry," Kaylee said, stepping forward and putting one hand on his. Mal's lips pressed together tightly. He knew exactly what they were doing. Damn the fact that no one could resist Kaylee's honesty for long! "We got something to show you. Cheer you up a bit."
Mal's lips pressed even further together. "If you didn't know the damn engine so well, I really should still fire you," he ground out from clenched teeth.
Kaylee squealed, and then muted it under his fierce glare. It was a retraction, of sorts. Even though he was still damn mad at them. "Yes, cap'n, sir." Contrite, she bowed her head. "We were inexcusable. We really should have trusted you more, considering."
"Yes." And Mal's face closed off again. "You really should."
"You son of a-" They all turned to see Inara, fury dancing in her dark eyes, fighting to restrain the torrent of swear words trying to escape her mouth. "You should have trusted us. If you'd told us she was there, we would have helped get her out. Hell, we would have scraped together money to keep her in that damn place at least until we could get there."
Mal jutted his chin mulishly. "Sarra's my problem, not anyone else's."
"See, cap'n, you ain't getting it," Kaylee said, miserable. "Your problems are our problems."
Mal opened his mouth to argue.
"Kaylee's got a point there, Mal," Jayne broke in, quickly defending the mechanic. "You've stuck your nose in all of our business and problems, even if we didn't want your help. It's kind of what we do around here. Help each other out and all."
"Got a kind of poetry to him still," Zoe murmured, looking directly at Mal, letting him know with her words that she agreed with them, not him.
"All right, then," Mal snapped softly, stunning them. "What is this surprise? Better not be a shadow puppet play," he added, eyeballing Wash suspiciously.
Wash just squinted a smile at him.
Mal clenched his fist visibly.
Wash stopped smiling. "Spoil sport," Wash muttered as they started to walk, Kaylee excitedly leading the way.
Mal suspected Kaylee would have probably wanted him to wear a blindfold, but knew Zoe will have made her see sense. Even if they had, Mal knew Serenity like nothing before. Even with his eyes closed he knew exactly where he was from the smell of the air to the vibrations under his feet. Lookit you, Reynolds, falling damn straight in love with a ship. Elsa would have been amused. Then again, she always said you didn't know how to fall in love anyways.
Mal caught sight of Inara's dark hair bobbing alongside Kaylee. She was probably right.
-----
The blindfold would probably have been all kinds of useless, Mal reflected dourly as he found himself being led down some steps. He hadn't really paid attention to where they were taking him at all, lost in his own melancholy thoughts, but he did recognise the feel of that area. Deeper resonances, he could feel it through the soles of his shoes, and he knew he was near the guest quarters.
Kaylee bounded along to one of the quarters.
"We've been taking it in turns to sneak away and do this while you were in with-" Kaylee's nose furrowed, as she tried to think of the name.
"Sarra," Mal said, feeling as if he was admitting something, cursing the own gruffness of his voice. Zoe was casting a speculative look at him, but she was the only one.
"Yeah," Kaylee said, her voice subdued. Mal could still feel the guilt in her voice, and started to hate himself a little, for being the one to take her cheerfulness away a little. "Anyway. Ta-da!"
Kaylee pulled the doors open.
Mal stared a little, perplexed.
"What am I looking at?"
Kaylee peeked in, and then started to blush. "Um. Other side."
Jayne started to laugh, until Mal and Zoe glowered at him. "What?" Jayne protested. "'sfunny."
Upset, Kaylee scurried to the other end of the row of rooms, and tugged the door open, revealing a prettily decorated room with a large bed, cushions, drapes like from Inara's shuttle, a canopy over the bed and a large squishy chair.
"It's for Sarra," Kaylee said, stepping forward, taking Mal's hand and looking up at him with that damn ole puppy dog expression that damn near got him everytime. "Do you like it?"
Even to his dying day, Malcolm Reynolds would deny that tears very almost surfaced at that moment in time. He swallowed the knot in his throat, and nodded once, hard.
"O' course, you could have all spent the time working you know," he said, real fast, and even as they all scurried away at his glance.
All but one.
He could feel Inara's gaze, calculated and analytical. Aloof.
And, if he was being candidly honest, scorching.
He looked up at her, suddenly meek. "Yes?" He said, defiantly. "Did you want something?"
"A date. For leaving." Inara's voice was cool. Steady.
Mal nodded, his throat tight. It was about all he could manage. "All right," he said, and if his voice was still gruff from before he didn't care. "Four days from now, after Greenleaf, we're dropping by Sihnon. Ought to be able to drop you off there."
Inara looked slightly troubled, but then brusquely shook it away. Mal noted the flash of panic and logged it away, next to other instances where Inara had looked antsy at the prospect of going to Sihnon.
"Thank you," Inara said. "Shall I inform the crew, or-"
"I ain't doing none of your dirty work," Mal said as frankly as he could manage, considering. "You tell 'em yourself."
"If I may ask," Inara began.
"Something tells me you wouldn't ha' took no for an answer anyways," Mal said dismissively. "You can ask, but I ain't got no guarantees I'll answer truthfully."
"Why the change to Sihnon? Nothing in the flight itinerary you posted said anything of-"
"Got a few contacts there," Mal said distractedly, looking into the softly furnished room in amazement, noticing one or two of Inara's own hangings there and resolving to surreptitiously remove them. Wipe all traces of her from the ship.
He turned to leave, and he looked back over his shoulder at her, grinning inwardly at her confused expression. "You ain't the only one to have worked there before," he said, enjoying the brief flash of her stunned face before he turned his head back and quickly took the steps two at a time.
Heading back to the infirmary, Mal found himself feeling a bit lighter than he had for the last couple of weeks. Maybe his ma was right, telling the truth did lighten a burden, and when did he start getting all nostalgic?
As Jayne would say, it was downright unsettling.
He also couldn't stop it. Probably 'cause he was so tired. He hadn't had any proper sleep since Shadow. He was tempted to drop by the infirmary, but guessing the 'good doctor' would probably kick him out on his ass he descended to his bunk instead, figuring Wash could hail him awake if anything turned up.
-----
"You look after her, you promise me, right?" Oh, he could almost smell her perfume, boysenberries and mint. Elsa shook her brown-haired head at him. "If anything happens to me, you look after her with your life."
"Ain't anything you have to tell me to do," he said.
"She's the first damn thing you've ever given a damn about, ain't she!" Elsa demanded, blue eyes flashing. "Your ma was real right about you. When do you get some leave?"
"School's out next week," he said. "When are the alliance shipping you out?"
"Mayhaps next week," Elsa snorted through the comms screen. "She's been asking for you, you'd better get your useless ass out here soon."
"I'm trying my damn hardest, Else," he said, his voice rising with anger. She pulled a face, reared back slightly. He could see her red shawl now, the one his ma made her.
Elsa's face softened slightly. "I know you are, Mal. And I know this ain't easy, not for the both of us, but we both gotta keep going. For her sake."
He nodded, and touched the screen with his hand, two fingers. She pressed her two fingers against his.
"Call me when you get the leave," Elsa commanded, although her voice was now gentle. The screen started to beep. "Aw, shit, Mal. Credit's run ou-"
Her face disappeared, but the beeping grew louder, and louder, and louder and-
"Crap!" Mal jerked awake roughly, realising his intercom was beeping, and he staggered quickly over to it, smacking the button and trying to pull his thoughts back together. A quick glance at the clock told him he'd been asleep just over an hour and a half. "Yes?" He said into the intercom.
"Cap'n, we got a situation in the infirmary," Zoe's cool voice said, sounding slightly thunder-struck. Zoe unsettled, now that was bad. Mal quickly ran a hand through his bed-head hair, and pulled himself quickly up his ladder to the corridor before belting down the corridors to the infirmary as quick as his tired body would let him.
The infirmary was a little messed up. River was sat outside, cradling Sarra to her. Sarra twisted upon hearing Mal's arrival. Her eyes were wide, her cheeks sallow, her hair matted to her head. Mal's heart thudded painfully seeing her.
He turned back to the infirmary, to see Jayne nursing a bruised head, and Simon trying to treat him. Mal turned to Zoe, who was stood in the shadows.
"She woke up, a little disoriented," Zoe said. "River managed to calm her down. Guess 'cause of what they have in common." His stalwart laconic second-in-command made no attempt to hide that they'd been eavesdropping earlier. "Jayne and some of the stuff in the infirmary were the only casualties, though."
Mal nodded tersely. He moved over to where River and Sarra were on the seats, and dropped to his knees. Sarra gratefully put her hands in his, looking at him softly.
"Safe now," River said.
Mal nodded again, not breaking eye contact with Sarra. "Yes. You're safe now. You're with me."
"Safe." Sarra sounded the word out, testing it. "Yes. Safe."
Mal shifted so he was sat on the seats, and Sarra fell into his arms again. Slightly awkwardly, he petted her hair, and looked up darkly at the invading gazes. Kaylee, Inara and Book had appeared too, probably having gone to look for him and realising he'd been found.
He twisted his head to look into the infirmary, to see Jayne staggering out, throwing a dirty glance to Sarra and River. Mal's insides coiled up, abruptly.
"Don't see why we have to have another feng le girl on board," Jayne said gruffly. "My reckoning is we should throw one off ship and be done with it."
Kaylee hissed in anger, but it wasn't necessary.
Mal raised his head further, stately, locking gazes with Jayne. "This feng le girl," he said, with quiet determination, "is my daughter."
-----
To be continued.
Oh, you so knew she was. Don't complain. I did say this was cheesy, didn't I??
Translation:
nian qing de (young one)
she me? (I'm sorry?)
feng le (loopy in the head)
gou cao de (dog humped)