Author: gamegeek2
Category: Humour, Parody
Spoilers: PS/SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP
Rating: PG13

Summary:- Meet Celicia Fleur Selina Lyantra Fuschia Harmonicilia Dianthelle Clareisse Aqauria Crystalina Snape; the first American transfer student Hogwarts has ever seen! Join her with her adventures as she befriends the trio, becomes the love interest of Draco Malfoy, Seamus Finnigan, Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore and many more!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K Rowling, Warner Brothers, and its various publishers. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended. Don't sue me; I haven't got enough money as it is.

A/N - I spelt 'commity' wrong. Twice. See? I spell atrociously! Anyway, onto more important issues; the fanfic-mocking in the previous chapter. I forgot the names of the GA titles, so I'll just name the references, okay?:) Oh, yeah; I mis-counted. There werefive fanfic-bashing references!

Time-travelling - Adolf Hitler comes to Hogwarts - Reference - Adolf, Hitler! McGoongle called. Hitler stepped up towards the Sorting Hat, spat on it, and kicked it off of the four-legged stool. He screamed something incorherrent whilst afew of the Hogwarts Staff members dragged him away.

Differently Spelt Names 1 - Badly spelt fanfics in general -Reference - McGoonagull, Macgunnagolll, McGonaGal (caps lock), McMoogle, mAcGONAGOL, McTabby, McDonald, macgunalge, MaCfuwjle, McGoongle, and McG0N/-G01.

Differently Spelt Names 2 -Reference - Neil Shortass, Nick Lungbum, and Nevillia Longbottom-chan (yes, there was a fic with those names!).

Darth Vader Comes To Hogwarts - Reference - Last paragraph.

Author's Too Lazy To Write A Proper Hat-Song - Reference - Last paragraph in the Hogwarts Hat 'Song'.

Blaise Zabini's Mysterious Sex-Change-Post-J.K.-Interview Girl!Blaise fics- Reference - This girl, was Blaise Zabini. (...) But, who cares about Blaise Zabini? Nobody.

Sorry for such a short chapter!

Mary-Sue; A Parody
Chapter 3:- Celicia's 'Prefection'

The occupents of the Great Hall were shocked, to say the least. In front of them, was a 'supposedly' dead, evil, horror-wrecking villian, wielding dozensof childishly decorated teddy-bears and hearts in hand.

So, what was Blaise Zabini supposed to do? She fainted. But, who cares? Precisely. Nobody.

"W-ell?" Darth Vader shouted at the agape and dumbfounded students and teachers. "Fine! No-one wants my lovely cookies! I took forever on making them!" he sulked like a little kid.

"Erm.." Dumbledore spoke awkwardly to everyone in the room. "H-here's our new...Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, or more likely... Our new Simple-minded Thick-headed Unintelligent Preposterous Imbecilic andDunce-like teacher!" he finished with a slight twinkle in hislight blue eyes.

Shortly after Professor Dumbledore's explanation, whispered conversation began amongst both teachers and pupils in the large Great Hall. Snatches of said conversation could be heard:

"Oh, that's why he's acting so S.T.U.P.I.D.!"
"I thought he was OOC; this explains everything!"
"I want a cookie."
"Go and get one then, Neville!"
"Are you a member of S.T.U.P.I.D., Longbottom?"
"Bugger off, Malfoy!" shouted Ron.

Draco obeyed Ron, reluctantly.He left the Gryfindork house-table alone, and silently made his way towards Celicia and Potty-head.

"Bugger off, Malfoy!"Harry repeated Ron's words with a menacing tone.

"Why should I, Potty-head?"Draco sneered his trademark sneer. "After all, I haven't came to talk to you. Me, Prince of Slytherin talking to such a low-life mortal? Ha! In your dreams!"

"Celicia, luv, do you have a pin? I think we need to deflate Malfoy's head, since I doubt he'd be able to leave the Great Hall without it getting stuck in the door."

"'Course, luv, here ya' go!" Celicia conjured a sharp, foot-long pin out of thin air.

"Thanks, luv!" Harry smiled at Celicia, and the advanced towards Draco, large, sharp pin in hand. Just as Harry was about to stab Draco with the over-sized pin, Blaise Zabini happened to get in the way, since she was heading towards Darth Vader to get a cutecookie, before Neville Longbottom got there and scoffed them all.

So, Blaise Zabini was stabbed in the back of the head with an exceptionally enormous, metal pin. But who cares? Exactly. Nobody.

"Whoops, luv..." Harry started.

"No worries, luv!" Celicia waved away the accident, and cured Blaise as she waved. "See, luv, all fixed!"

"Now, luv, where was that pin, again?" she grinned mischeviously at her 'luv'.

Blaise and Draco scarpered.

Celicia woke up in Harry's warmand muscular arms. She looked around her, and realised that she was in the Gryffindor common room, on a comfortable, red chair which stood beside the crackling, merry fire. She had went to bed shortly after Dumbledore had told all of the students to go to bed, even though that scene hadincomprehensibly disappeared.

Celicia nudged Harry, softly. "Lu-- er, Harry, we have to get up. It's time to go down for breakfast." Harry mumbled something indistinguishable at Celicia's poking.

She stood up, and de-creased her un-creased, black school robes, and brushed her long, golden curls. For you see, Celicia's infatuation with the colour pink had disappeared, and she now adored a sunshine yellow. After she appliedsome expensivemake-up, she continued poking Harry.

After awhile, she sighed at her feeble atempt at trying to wake Harry up. Instead of unintentionally trying to bruise him with her manicured nails, she climbed down the stairs of the Gryffindor common room, and opened the portrait of the Fat Lady up. She literally glided down the stairs of Hogwarts, and breezed into the Great Hall.

Inside, were almost all of the student and teacher population, allwho werewaiting for her to arrive. Blushing, she walked over to the small, lonely Gryfflerilaw table, and sat down.

After Celicia settled down into her seat, Dumbledore stood up at the teacher's table, and began to rap - erm, rhapsodize.

"Now, finally that Celicia Fleur Selina Lyantra Fuschia Harmonicilia Dianthelle Clareisse Aqauria Crystalina Snape has decided to greet us with her lovely, shining, admirable, adorable, agreeable, alluring, amiable, attractive, beauteous, bewitching, captivating, charming, comely, dainty, delectable, delicate, delicious, delightful, dishy, drop-dead gorgeous, enchanting, engaging, enjoyable, exquisite, fair, foxy, graceful, gratifying, handsome, knockout, lovesome, mink, nice, pleasant, pleasing, pretty, pulchritudinous, scrumptious, splendid, stunning, sweet, and stupefying presence," he smiled handsomely at Celicia, who blushed a deep, tomato-red colour.

"I will now announce my announcement, even though Harry Potter - who has probally had an unfortunate heart-attack due to Celicia's heavenly pulchritude - and Darth Vader - who is currently banned fromtheGreat Hallfor a short period of time, due to the fact that he's on a sugar-high, along with Neville Longbottom."

"Hermione Granger," Dumbledore said, alerting Hermione. "I ban you from the status of a Prefect. You now are just an inexperienced (of magic!), low-lifed Mudblood. And a member of S.T.U.P.I.D. ." he added.

Hermione just opened her mouth a few times, and then closed it. She was speechless. Her, the top-of-the-class, intelligent, book-lover, study-freak, Hermione Granger, had now had her Prefect postion taken away from her! She was outraged.

"And, taking her place, is now..." Dumbledore paused, adding onto the anxiety and suspense. "Is now..."

"Just say it, goddamnit!" that green-haired, cross-eyed midget who is still absolutely irrevilant to this story, screamed.

Dumbledore smirked, which was Out-Of-Character for him to do so. But then again, almost all of the people in this story are acting OOC.

"That person is," People groaned. "The one and only!" More groaning. "Celicia Fleur Selina Lyantra Fuschia Harmonicilia Dianthelle Clareisse Aqauria Crystalina Snape!"

Both applausion and appulsion met Celicia's ears, which were now bright red from her gaining alot of attention. "W--why, t-thank-you, Professor Dumbledore!" she spoke, amazed at the fact that she could get such a brilliant postion in a short amount of time. "Thank-you ever so much for your uttermost cliché-ness -I mean, for your uttermost kindé-ness! I have no idea how I can repay you for this act of benevolence!"

"Oh, I do," Dumbledore's piercing, hungry,cold blue eyes pierced into her now fiery-red, frightened eyes. Dumbledore advanced towards Celicia, who was immobile, aswell as all of the other Hogwarts students and teachers.

As Dumbledore walked, his shhaggy white haired shagged into his face, and he mouthed something that was said in thesentancebefore the last comma, to Celicia...

Aah, the suspense! Isn't it killing you all?! And before you think it, the last sentance before the last line, isn't what you may think it is. And, yes, that spelling mistake was put there intentionally. Just hinting!

Anyway, the count of GA references is quite low. Only one, this time. :( Oh yeah, before I forget, if the formatting has gone wrong in this chapter, don't blame me; blame 's quick edit!

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