Author:gamegeek2
Category: Humour, Parody
Spoilers: PS/SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP
Rating:PG13

Summary:-Meet Celicia Fleur Selina Lyantra Fuschia Harmonicilia Dianthelle Clareisse Aqauria Crystalina Snape; the first American transfer student Hogwarts has ever seen! Join her with her adventures as she befriends the trio, becomes the love interest of Draco Malfoy, Seamus Finnigan, Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore and many more!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K Rowling, Warner Brothers, and its various publishers. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended. Don't sue me; I haven't got enough money as it is.

A/N:- I'm really, really sorry about the lateness and the shortness of this chapter. School is really rough on me now - I've got to write a Christmas Magazine in only one week!

Anyway,two GA references in the last chapter! If you didn't get the A/N in the last chapter, fanfiction . n e t is really messing up all of the formatting up, so sorry if all of the words are in a block paragraph of death, or if there's no spaces.

Also, thanks to XxXbloody nekoXxX and Princess of the Moon for reviewing!

'Luv' - Reference - "Celicia, luv, do you have a pin? I think we need to deflate Malfoy's head, since I doubt he'd be able to leave the Great Hall without it getting stuck in the door." ... "Now, luv, where was that pin, again?" she grinned mischeviously at her 'luv'.

Shaggy Hair - Reference - As Dumbledore walked, his shhaggy white haired shagged into his face, and he mouthed something that was said in the sentance before the last comma, to Celicia...

Mary-Sue; A Parody

Chapter 4:- The Hag and The Romancization of Snape

Celicia's eyes were wide open - like a deer caught in headlights, they were so big. Dumbledore was slowly advancing towards her, mouthing something that was incoherent to Celicia.

Celicia took a few steps back, away from Dumbledore, but she bumped into something solid. Frightened, she turned away from Dumbledore, and saw facing her was...A hag! The hag's dark brown hair was knotted and dirty, covered in a red substance. Its muddy clothes were full of holes varying in size, and were barely suitable enough, there were so many.

Its yellow, rancid, six teeth could be seen from inside the hag's mouth, giving it a cruel and uncaring look.

"Sh! Hag!" Dumbledore tried to quieten Celicia as she started whimpering. Celicia stopped whimpering almost immeadiatly, for she knew that wimpering would damage her reputation.

Celicia turned towards the hag again, and shouted, "Expecto Patronum!", whilst waving her hands effortlessly about,which created a spectral phoenix, dragon, unicorn and fluffy bunny rabbit to form from out of her long and sleek fingers.

The four, powerful animals then began to charge/fly/hop towards the disgusting hag, and began to beat the shit out of it with their powerful fire blast/horn charge/cuteness. Only after a few moments, the startled hag dropped down onto the wooden floor of the Great Hall.

All of the occupents were deeply suprised at this act. Firstly, one teacher began clapping. This continued until almost all of the occupents began clapping - all except for Hermione Granger and Blaise Zabini.

Hermione Granger was too jealous and angry with Celicia to care that performing a spell which is only ment for Dementors and Lethifolds that worked on a hag, nevertheless it created four animals, instead of one.

Blaise Zabini...Well, she wasn't clapping, oh no. Instead, she had rushed up to Celicia who was standing over the hags dead body in the centre of the Great Hall, and began to kiss Celicia briefly on the lips.

She was sent to St. Mungos shortly afterwards, for Celicia's fluffy bunny rabbit had almost killed Blaise with its sweetness. Well, that, and the hundereds of spells that had hit her, all cast by the male population. Including Professor Snape.

Professor Snape eyed Celicia hungrily through his sparkling, onyx eyes. His soft and grease-free locks of hair drifted lazily in his tanned and creamy face as he continued to eye Celicia, who noticed the attention which 'Sev' was giving her.

Swooning, and forgetting about her sexily handsome boyfriend, Harry, she ran enthusiastically towards her beloved Gary--AHEM, Sev. Sev welcomed her into his arms immeadiatly, and they began to recite words of utter urpleness:

"Oh Severus darling, I never would have realised the beautiful man beneath that cold, yet sexily endearing exterior would've been this pleasureful, like a heavenly primrose path. I'm glad that you had begun to eye me hungrily, as if you were undressing me mentally, for otherwise, I would not have been to experience this ecstacy that you grace upon me, like a flying dove, flying."

"Celicia lu--love, I am too glad of my teacher-student behaviour to you, for otherwise, this pure bliss would never have changed me. You, have changed me. For I, was once a cold and terrifying, lonely death-eater. But now, with your luxurious presence deep in my envoloping arms, I am a new man. And for that, even though we've only been together for about one minute in which we have been exchanging a load of utter crap, I love you, truly, madly, deeply."

The whole population of Hogwarts 'aww'ed at the deeply emotional, and OOC scene before them. Except for Harry, because he was shocked that Celicia had left him for a greasy and slimy scumbag, Hermione, who was still outraged and Celicia for her Prefect status being taken abruptly away from her, and Ginny, who was only partially angry, because now that Celicia had broken up with her secret love.

And Blaise Zabini, because she was currently in St. Mungos, being scared to death by a big, purple dragon which went by the name of 'Barney'.

A/N:- Three GA references this time! Hope you find them all! :)