My entry to the Christmas Parody
Deadly Sins
"Yes, mom." I groaned as I climbed up the stairs. Mom wanted me to don my Christmas hat… did I mention that it wasn't a common Santa-hat, oh no… it was one in the shape of a Christmas tree because 'it matches my eyes'.
Whatever, all I wanted was to get the stupid hat so I could go down again and open my presents. Jesse said he had a very special present for me. Have I mentioned that Jesse came back to life like five years ago when I was seventeen? Oh yeah, he did. And soon after he joined the heroic forces of Carmel P.D… so yeah, I get to see Jesse in a cop's uniform… and all I have to say about it is: YUMMY!!!
Anyway, I went up to my room to retrieve my dumb hat. It was near midnight and I kind of tired, having help Andy with all the diner preparations. So I sat down in my bed and…
Shadowland, I was in Shadowland.
Why the hell was I on Shadowland?!!
"Suze," I heard an all too familiar voice say at my back, I turned and sure enough there was Paul. "I knew I would see you soon."
"What the hell?" I asked, Paul wasn't even allowed to Shadowland anymore, Dr Slaski had bond his shifting powers so he would stop misusing them, like three years ago… last time he almost killed me.
"Yes, little Suze, in hell you are… since, as you like to say, I'm the devil. Oh, and don't even try shifting, it doesn't work right now."
"What?"
"But don't worry, little Suze. There is a way out… if you can find it that is." And with a laugh he vanished. "Just follow the yellow path."
Now, how the hell did I get out of Shadowland?
Really doubting my mental health I started to follow the yellow path, wondering what the hell was going on. Soon after I started my journey I came face to face with…
"Voy por la vereda tropical" The girl in front of me was singing merrily, she was also wearing a red sort of cloak with a hood…
"Hey there! You, stop, please!" I yelled, running up the path to meet her. She stopped and turned around it was… "Cee Cee?"
She scowled. "I'm the little red hood." She said, totally serious. "But, actually, my favorite color is Mexican pink."
"Okay," I said. "Do you have any idea how to get out of here?" I asked, not that I thought she would give me an answer but to my surprise she nodded.
"Just follow the yellow path." She said and I gave her the evil eye. "No, really. At the end of the Path lies what you seek… just one warning though, stay on the path… they are out to get you."
"Who?"
"The seven deadly sins." She answered with a smile and then disappeared.
Seven deadly sins? Seven deadly sins? Where have I heard that before…Oh yes! Of course! The other day… Jesse dragged me to see this pastor-thing-something. It was like a little play in which these bunch of people try to get to church or something the night before Christmas and on the way they get temped by the Seven Deadly Sins, sent by the devil… I didn't got much of it… we just went because Jesse said it was something that his family used to play at before Christmas… and Father D. was organizing it. Apparently, is a tradition among Mexican/Spanish Catholics.
Anyway, if I remembered correctly, there were Seven Deadly Sins… and sure enough, as I started to walk I, the forms of the sins came after me… some I got right away… like when confronted with Sloth I wasn't very sure at first… because sloth looked a lot like sleepy… I mean Jake. And all he did was offer me a chair so I could rest… then he started to say a bunch of stuff about how I didn't have to continue if I was oh so comfortable sitting there… and then I remembered; the sins tempt you so you forget what you were doing.
I got up my chair, feeling strangely tired and told Jake that I was fine, that maybe he should take a nap and sure enough he fell asleep right away and I returned to the path. Gluttony was an easy one too… it was just a table full of everything I liked to eat… with a big sing that read "low cal" on top of it… as If I was going to fall for that one, I was hungry, true… but chocolate cake with low cal? Please!
The funny thing was that I some sins took shape of people I knew… like Anger… anger looked a lot like Brad telling me that he was going to tell mom about Jesse-ghost in my room. Greed, Pride and Envy all came in the shape of Kelly… rather embarrassing situation there… anyway… the last one was Lust.
And that was one hell of an embarrassing situation… presented to me in the form of a very delectable guy who looked a lot like Tom Welling (hot dude from Smallville) wearing only a very tight pair of white boxers… I almost fell for that one… I mean… how did Paul know I had a crush on Tom? But, whatever… there was one thing that really put me out of Tom… the lack of chest hair… okay, I never really thought of myself like the kind of girl that went for chest hair… but after remembering how good Jesse's chest hair feels beneath my hands when we fooled around at his place…
Oh, lusty thought… sorry.
Anyway, after remembering that… I saw myself forced to say to Tom-wannabe: "Sorry, Fabio, I don't go for men who wax."
And just like that I was at the end of the Yellow Path… and there was Paul.
"So, you made it." He said with a smile.
"Yeah, now… what I'm looking for."
"How do you want me to know, it's your dream." Paul said.
Great, just great.
"Querida?" I heard and then I saw Jesse.
"Jesse?!" I yelled, jumping to his arms.
"What took you so long?" he asked.
"Oh, gag." Paul said at my back. I didn't care, I frenched Jesse anyway.
"So what's going on?" Jesse asked when we were done kissing.
"I don't know… I went through a kindda pastor-thingy-something… that thing you took me to see the other day."
"Pastorela." Jesse said.
"Yes, that thing… and Paul was the devil… and Brad was anger and…"
Jesse smiled a wicked little smile. "You said Paul is the devil?"
"He said so." I answered confused. "Why?"
"Well… tradition says that at the end… once you defeat the seven sins, you get to beat them and the devil."
"How do you do that?"
"A Piñata. That's what they represent… the ones that are like stars with seven points… you beat the devil and the seven sins and then you get your reward, which is in the form of all the candy you put inside the piñata…"
"Oh, so I get to do a Paul-Piñata?" I asked. And Jesse nodded… beating Paul always puts him in such a good mood.
So what happened was that Jesse took Paul and we tied a rope around Paul's midsection, and then, next thing I knew, Paul was hanging there, yelling for us to let him down. Jesse and I were happy just with leaving him hanging there but some other people where known to disagree since out of no-where a bunch of ghost materialized there.
"Uh? Guys?" I asked.
"I think they want to take swings at Paul." Jesse said.
"Oh. One wouldn't think Paul would have wronged so many people." I said. There were at least 100 ghosts there. Apparently, they were waiting for me to say it was okay to hit Paul with the many stick-like objects they were carrying. "Okay, have fun." I said, and as if one they all launched at Paul… and, for the sounds that were coming from Paul… I think some sticks did more than just hit him.
Jesse and I were just standing there, listening to the Mexican Hat Dance that was playing while the Paul-Piñata was being beaten when…
"Querida?" I heard Jesse's voice, but it wasn't the Jesse standing next to me… the voice sounded like it was being called from outside. Things were dark for a moment and I heard the again: "Querida?"
I felt someone shaking my arm.
"Jesse?" I asked opening my eyes. "What happened?"
"Your mother sent you for your hat and then you didn't go back down. So I came to see if you were alright."
"Oh, I must have fallen asleep."
"What was your dream about?" I told him everything…from Cee Cee look alike till the Paul-Piñata… I didn't mention Tom-wannabe, what for… "Well, at least now I know why you were muttering the tune of Mexican Hat Dance."
"I feel like a dork." I said, getting out of the bed and putting on my hat.
"Maybe if I give you your present now you'll feel better."
"Gime, gime, gime." I was trying to say Give me but it came out as gime… Jesse didn't say anything about it, just smiled and handed me a little present. "Oh, the little ones are the best!" I said then opened the little box and gasped.
In side there was a ring… and engagement ring and a little note that said "Marry Me?"
"Jesse?" I asked looking up at him.
"Yes or no, querida?" he asked sweetly, taking the ring out of the box and starting to slide it down my ring finger.
"YES!" I said and he slipped the ring beyond my knuckle.
…………
Have a very JESSE Christmas.
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The End.
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Notes:
Sorry if it sucks!
But it was the best thing I could come up with :D