Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz. I only like to borrow them so I can play with their lives.

Warnings: This is YAOI!!! KenRan one sided. There is a little crude language and swearing. Only slight mentions of sex. You have been warned so don't you dare bitch at me for you stupidity. This is a suicide fic.

Everyone has the right to happiness, right? Everyone deserves to be happy at least once in his or her life? Then where was that chance for Ran Fujimiya? When was he truly happy? Where was that one time that would keep him alive? Where was that one occasion that would chase any cloud away? Nowhere, because there was nothing for him. No memories, no thoughts, no loved ones… there wasn't even a stuffed animal to keep him safe. He had nothing. Nothing was the answer to all the questions for him.

Ran sighed as he looked out his bedroom window. He knew the others were going out and once again he wasn't invited. He knew why they would never ask him out after all he over heard them once…

Ran was at the top of the stairs and was just about to knock at the door of Yoji's room when he heard voices downstairs. He started to descend the stairs when he heard his name mentioned in the conversation. This made him stop dead in his tracks because he realized that it was about him. He went about half way down the stairs and so he could hear the conversation better.

"Come on guys let's go before Ran gets up from his nap," Omi whined. "Hurry up! The others are probably already there." He was getting impatient. He was dressed in a navy skintight sleeveless top with black leather pants. His face was painted so that he looked like Kyo form Dir en Grey. He didn't want to Ran to wake up because the last time they took him with them it was a disaster. He didn't feel like dealing with a very drunk Ran who couldn't handle his alcohol and he didn't want to be baby-sitting him. After all Nagi was there and they were going to be celebrating their two-year anniversary. There was no way the others where going to stop them because they weren't kids anymore just like the fact that they weren't enemies. "Come on," Omi whined.

"Just chill, Omi. We'll be gone before Ran even knows we left." Yoji replied. He looked himself over once more before deciding he looked like sin with legs. He had a halter on that complimented his eyes and black pants. He couldn't wait because he had asked Mika on at date for tonight. "Don't worry, we'll be gone before Ran even wakes up. So then neither of us will have to baby sit him." He couldn't wait until after the club because he knew of the best spot to bring Mika. It had the best view of Tokyo at night and with the roof down on his roadster it would be the best date he had in a while. He grinned just thinking about but first he had to arrive at the club. "Ken, hurry up! Will ya?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Keep your pants on. I'll be out in a minute. I just have to put the finishing touches on my makeup. After all Yoji, you're not the only one who had a date to impress tonight." Ken winked at Yoji as he walked by him to get his leather jacket. He looked even more Goth then Omi. "After all have to look the part if we're going to the best Goth club in all of Tokyo." Omi and Yoji just started at him. He started squirming under their stares and feel rather uncomfortable. "What? Did I over do it? I knew it! I over did it, didn't I?" He threw his hands in defeat and was about to walk upstairs to go change.

It was then Yoji snapped out of his revere. "Um… don't you save that look for Ran?" After all Ken looked hot and if he was gay he would have had his evil little way with Ken. Then poor Omi would have gotten ideas of things he could do with Nagi. He wasn't so Omi was out of luck.

"Just because I fuck Ran doesn't mean I'm in any sort of relationship. So I can dress anyway I want and have as much fun as I want to," Ken replied. It was the truth. Ken didn't feel anything for the resident redhead. That was when Ran made a sound and gave away his position. Ken saw the fleeting figure and just stood there. It seemed like forever before he opened his mouth. "Let's go. After all we don't want to miss any of the party do we now?"

Omi and Yoji just looked at him in shock. They couldn't believe that Ken just did that and he didn't even go after Ran to apologize to him. They could only stare at each other then stare back at Ken. "Aren't you going to go after him Ken-kun?" Omi asked. Yoji backed up Omi with "Yeah, I think you should go talk with him. Omi and I aren't in that much of a hurry and plus the guys will save us a table."

Ken just shook his head. "He needed to hear it and with me just going after him will constitute something more. We're nothing more then fuck buddies. Yeah maybe once in a while we'll have dinner alone or rent movies and watch them. Every time we do something like that it's because you two are doing something else or have a mission. We have never been on a date or anything else. So me going up there to comfort his hurt feelings will mean something that's it's not. I have wanted to tell him for a long time that we're done and over but I guess I just never have found that 'right' time to do so." He walked towards the door and grabbed his keys. He left Omi and Yoji and their thoughts in the living room. They soon followed him after all they had plans and nothing was going to stop them. Not even a broken friend.

That's why tonight was the night. He had decided that night that the next time the others went out he would do it. He went into his closet and moved some of the floorboards. He pulled out a black box and slowly opened it. Inside the box was the knife that his mother used to kill herself and now it was his turn. Ironic, the same weapon that was claimed as evil in his mind was about to take his life from him. It was going to be spilling the same blood.

He picked up the knife and took it out of its scabbard. The moon reflected off the blade and shined in the dark. The light that will pierce the dark Ran thought. Yes, this knife will be the shinning light in his dark heart. It will cut through where no one was willing. He ran the blade along his wrists and smiled. He knew he had done everything and he could die in peace. He had given his key to the closest member of Weiss to him and he had written out his good-bye note. He had visited his parents' graves and his sister in the hospital. He had paid his dues and now he was ready to die. He slashed his wrist and fell to the ground.

That was where he remained until Ken came to check on him in the morning because he never showed up to open shop. Ken blinked at the site of Ran laying in a pool of his own blood. His brain had ceased to function because Ran would never commit suicide, right? He was stronger then that or that was what Ken believed. He wasn't dead that was what Ken kept telling himself. He started to walk over to the dead body but that was when the white piece of paper caught his eye. He picked it up and read it. By the time he was done he was on ground hugging the dead body whispering the words of I'm sorry.

Soon Omi came up to see what was taking Ken so long. He too stopped in his tracks. "He's gone, Omi. We killed him," Ken whispered into the silent room. He watched the silent tears fall down Ken's face as he hugged Ran's cold body to his chest. He slowly walked into the room to where Ken was kneeling. He took the note from Ken's blood stained fingers. He began to weep as he started reading the note. When he was done, he couldn't bring his eyes to rest on the cold dead figure of their once thought to be strong leader. He could only feel the guilt build in him.

They both heard Yoji come into the room and gasp. He was frozen inside of the doorframe. He must be dreaming because this wasn't possible. Ran wasn't dead and Ken wasn't hugging his lifeless body. He was playing right? After all today was April first, wasn't it? He slowly walked into the room and knelt next to Omi's quivering body. He felt the boy instantly grab onto him as if he was the last person on the planet. He pried the note out of Omi's grasp and began to read it. He wasn't even half way through before he was bawling too. He could only give Ken a sympathetic look because he knew Ken had the hard task of telling Manx that Ran was dead.

Something broke in them that day. They now know never to take another team member for granted. They knew never to make someone feel unwanted or unloved. But, they also knew that they would never get another chance to prove they have learned from their mistakes. They were fine with that because they knew that they would never recover from this either. One by one they left the grave of their leader. Until there was only one left standing there in the cold. "You were wrong Ran. You didn't leave us unaffected." And with that Ken turned to leave to join the others and try to heal a wound that would never heal.

If you were to die today nothing would change
The world would go on as if it was unaffected by your death.

After all what is the point of living when you are only the third wheel?
When you have no one who truly wants you for you.
When you are the only one left standing because everyone else forgot about you.
What is the point of life when no would notice if you are gone?

Everyone would go on as if they were unaffected by your death.
You are the one that needs to be taken out of the picture
You are the one that no one wants
You are the one that no one cares about

Then you are left standing alone in the rain again.
Thinking that maybe this is a dream and you will soon wake up
But this is not the case.

This is the world you live in and must continue to survive in
How can you survive when you don't know how to live?
When death is the only answer you have?

Everyone else does not want you
Does not care if you exist
Does not care if you breathe
Does not care if you die

Because the world would go on unaffected.
There is no hope for you because you threw that away
You have no friends who would look out for you

They abandoned you long ago
They gave up on you because they knew you were a lost cause.

How come you can't see it?
How come you are blind to the truth?
How come you can see the end?

You know the end is death
So take it…
Because the world will remain unaffected by your death.

Ran Fujimiya
July 4, 1980 - December 3, 2004
Who affected everyone who knew him