It was a covert operation if I had ever been involved in one. Nigel, Garrett, and I spent the last three days packing up my apartment and moving all my personal effects into Garrett's basement. There wasn't much to move; I was never a packrat. The things that were to big to move were sold. There were only a few things that needed to be sold; I reasoned that I could always buy a new bed when I returned from Dallas. Nigel found a university student that would sub-lease my apartment for six months. I couldn't believe how seamlessly things began to come together; it finally hit me that I was going to Dallas.

Nigel and Garrett would look after the Pogue while I was gone. I had hired a lawyer to draw up the documents; I spent endless hours in the bar teaching them first how to bartend and second how to run the financial stuff. Garrett excelled at working with numbers; Nigel was much better at concocting interesting combinations of alcohol. I felt safe leaving the Pogue in their hands; I knew that I could fly hundreds of miles away and it would be kept warm for me. I was surprised that no one realized that I was leaving; if they did, Lily and Bug had not said a word about it. That was okay. I hadn't been in a talking mood lately.

I saw Woody once since we returned from Vegas. It was an awkward meeting; I was in Eddie's office asking him to keep an eye on Dad's house. I told him that I was going away for a little while; Eddie smiled and told me to come back feeling whole again. That was my goal; to feel something other than contempt and anger. Woody burst through the door asking Eddie about some case. He eyed me suspiciously; I had heard rumors that I was having sex with everyone from Eddie to Nigel to Garrett. I had heard rumors that I left Woody for another man. Good news always seems to travel fast. The opposite of the rumors was the truth; I spent my nights alone packing up the few belongings that I cherished. I went to the cemetery to say good-bye to Mom. I figured that I had covered all bases before I left. Woody ignored me and left. Time was supposed to heal all wounds; I hoped that six months would provide sufficient time for the tensions to fade. I hoped that I would come home brave enough to tell Woody that I would like to be his friend again. I secretly hoped that somewhere in Dallas 'Mr. Right' was just waiting for me to come into his life, but I was sure that I would come home alone.

The last two things on my agenda were to have a nice supper with Garrett and Nigel and make it through one more shift at the morgue. Garrett made me promise to be safe in Dallas; Nigel told me to go find a cowboy. Garrett conceded that there was nothing wrong with cowboys or Southern gentlemen. I thought it was very subtle of them to try to pick out the type of man that I should be with, but it would be nice to forget how it felt to watch Woody kiss Sam. It would be even better to forget what his cologne smelled like. I was a woman on a mission; I was going to come home happy. I was going to find something in Texas to make me happy; it could be barbeque, leather boots, or a man. I was going to come home feeling on top of the world. It was a lofty goal, but it was something I needed to achieve for myself.

There was knocking at my door. I was barely half-way finished getting dressed for dinner.

"Dallas?" Woody asked as I opened the door. I was in my robe; my hair was adorned with rollers and my make-up was half finished.

"Dallas," I replied. I tried to smile; Woody looked upset, but I wondered why he would even begin to think that I owed him an explanation. I wasn't mad about Vegas anymore; I reasoned that it was better to know that he would always look for things more beautiful than myself. It was nice to know that early in the relationship or whatever one would call the mess that Woody and I tangled in.

"Can I come in?" he asked cautiously. I opened the door and let him in. I walked back to the bathroom to finish getting ready. I was surprised that he followed me.

"Jordan, why now?" he asked. I wanted to ask him 'why not now.' This was the best time for me to go; it wasn't about running this time, but he would never understand that. It was about me finding something to make me happy; I had exhausted my possibilities in Boston. It was time for me to get back on track with my career. It was time for me to begin finding myself.

"I've been meaning to take some continuing education classes. Dallas has an excellent program in forensic technology. Nigel is flying out in a few weeks to go to a seminar on virtual reality crime scene replication. It would be an excellent tool for us to present to juries," I rambled. That wasn't the answer he wanted; my answer didn't even answer his question.

"Oh. Sam meant nothing," Woody responded. I hated this game; I hated the 'wounded' Woody coming to me for comfort, reassurance, or sex. I didn't want to feel used again; after the night three weeks ago, I made myself promise that I would never feel like that again. I didn't want to be a temporary replacement for Devan, Sam, or who knows what female that would walk into his life next.

"You don't owe me an explanation," I replied as I finished putting on my mascara.

"I do owe you an explanation. I'm stupid, Jordan. I'm stupid for always putting you on the back burner," Woody replied. I could see his reflection in the mirror; I tried to avoid it. I wondered if he thought that his words would suddenly make me change my mind about Dallas.

"It wasn't meant to be," I replied. I really wanted to believe that it wasn't meant to be. It was easier to avoid the stimulus that caused me so much hurt, rather than dive in head first again. I had learned my lesson quickly this time; I learned that Woody would do nothing but hurt me.

"Don't say that," Woody replied. He leaned against the door frame. I was satisfied with the state of my makeup. It played up my brown eyes; I looked like the glamorous natural beauty that I was always envious of in the magazines. I began to work on my hair; I had planned to wear it down. I decided last minute to make sure that it was curly. I told myself that this was no longer for Woody; it was something I was going to do to make myself glamorous. I told myself even if Woody was at dinner with us, he would still look at all the other women regardless of if I wore my hair the way he liked it. Tonight was for me; it was about me being the beautiful thing in the room.

"What should I say?" I challenged him. I supposed it would make leaving for Dallas easier if I was mad at him.

"Don't go. Give me another chance," Woody replied. He looked hurt; I knew that he hated it when I tried to be the grown-up in the relationship. It was an odd role reversal; he was no longer the man taking care of the way-ward medical examiner. I had become the responsible adult that was looking for commitment and fidelity in a boy that could not give that right now. It threw him off balance.

"I can't. I'm going to make myself happy before I let someone else make me happy. You should probably at least figure out what's going to make you happy," I lectured. He grimaced; it came out sounding a lot meaner that I had intended for it too.

"I know what's going to make me happy; it's the same thing that I always knew was going to make me happy. Jordan, I want to start things over between us," Woody tried to explain. I wanted to say 'yes,' but I couldn't let myself get hurt again. Loving someone wasn't supposed to be about hurting them.

"How long am I going to make you happy for . . . one, two days? How long until some other woman catches your eye? Then what . . . do I wait for you?" I yelled at him. I had reached my breaking point. I wasn't going to play second fiddle for the rest of my life; Dad always told me to find someone that will love me forever. I didn't want Woody to only love me intermittently for forever.

"I'm afraid to love you," Woody yelled back at me, "I'm afraid that you will leave me the same way Annie did."

"You should go. I'll see you in six months," I replied. He looked shattered. I think he expected me to willingly accept his apology. I think he came here with the intention of changing my mind. I hoped that he would take six months to figure out what he wanted in life; I hoped that his fears would die and maybe he would be ready to stop ogling all the other beautiful things.

"Be careful in Dallas, Jordan," I said as I opened the door for him. He kissed my cheek; I had to clench my teeth to prevent tears from running down my face.

"Woody, try to figure out what's going to make you happy," I said as he walked away. I was surprised to see Nigel exiting the staircase. I'm sure that he stood at the doorway listening to our argument. I'm sure he decided to take cover until he thought it was safe.

"Are you okay, love?" Nigel said as he ran a hand through my curls. My curls were beautiful and perfectly placed, but that was the only thing about me that felt perfect. I had slept with Danny; that made everything on the inside of me imperfect.

"Yeah, I'm going to be okay, Nigel. I'm going to be okay," I replied as he took me in his arms. I really hoped that six months would be long enough to begin to rebuild myself.