Chapter 8
Penguin'sPawn:new name? Cool! Glad you liked the story!! Hope you like this next bit!!
Ryu Sakana: I'm glad you like the story!! Hope you like the sleepover!!! : D
Kookycookie: ooh! Thanks for adding me to your list!! About the Willow Tara kissage, not saying a word. *whistles innocently* hope you like the next chapter!!
Slayerfan1: glad you like!! Hope you like the next part!!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the BTVS characters, (wish I did!) that privilege belongs to Joss and ME.
Willow sat on her bed, watching the clock, growing more and more anxious with every tick. 'I can't be early!' she thought 'I will look too eager, and that's not good! But if I go late, It'll look like I don't really want to be there and that's not good either!'. Time seemed to be crawling. Just as Willow decided that she couldn't wait any longer, the phone rang. 'Oh no! she's calling to cancel!' Willow grabbed the phone quickly, and pulled it to her ear, waiting, expecting, to hear Tara's voice on the line.
"Willow?"
Willow let out a huge breath. "Buffy?"
"Yeah Will, it's me"
"Oh, uh, what's up?", Willow wanted nothing more than to end the conversation there but she knew that there was no way she could get away with that.
"Not much, not much, you know, just hanging around, the place is kinda vampless at the moment"
"Oh, right, well, what did you call for?" Willow decided to take it right to the point.
Buffy paused for a moment, "Oh, right, yeah, well seeing as how my slayer skills are not needed at the moment I figured we could hang, just you, me, and Xander, we could take in a movie, pizza, fun stuff, totally work-free, you know kinda a girls night in, well with the exception of Xander of course" she said, paused, then added cheekily "although that is debatable..."
Willow didn't say anything, her mind was whirling with how she could say no to her friend.
"so... you in?"
Willow grimaced, "actually Buffy... I can't"
"can't?" Buffy asked sounding confused.
"no, I mean, yeah, I can't"
"Why not? Are you ok?", Buffy sounded concerned
"I'm fine, but I'm kinda sorta busy, y'know, the already-doing-something- going-somewhere-tonight variety"
There was a silence on the line for a few moments.
"Oh... ok then... well... what are you doing? I mean where are ya going?"
"Oh...uh...just out...y'know...um...seeing someone...hanging around" Willow found herself not wanting to tell Buffy about Tara, it felt surreal as it was, that she was actually going to stay at Tara's house, but talking about it, telling Buffy about it, it felt almost like testing the fates.
"Ok, well, I should go then, Bye Will"
"Bye"
Willow placed the phone on the hook and walked out of her house and down the street, all thoughts of her conversation with Buffy pushed from her mind.
Buffy hung up the phone, and then looked at it puzzled. She had heard Willow's reluctance to talk to her, loud and clear. "I don't get her..." she said to herself, "I just don't get her"
***
Tara paced the length of her room, glancing nervously at the clock. 'she's a minute late! Oh God! I knew it! I knew she wasn't coming!'. The past two days had been like a dream for Tara. Meeting Willow. Getting to know Willow, and, as much as she tried to deny it, Falling totally head-over- heals in love with Willow. Ever since Willow had accepted her invitation Tara could think of nothing else. 'I can't believe she even said yes!' she thought, 'What if she doesn't like my house? Or my room? What if she decides that she really doesn't want to know me and that she made a mistake coming here?'
Willow could see the house ahead. 'It's so ordinary...' she thought, 'how can someone so special and wonderful be living in a house so much like my own?'. She walked slowly up the road, dragging her feet, in an attempt to buy more time. 'What if I make a fool of myself!? What if we don't have anything to say to each other or if she finds me boring?', the doubts continued to fly into Willow's head, one after the other. She had spent the previous night planning it all out, every clever joke she would tell, every little action she would do, but as she approached the front door of Tara's new house her mind went blank, all thoughts and feelings gone, except nervousness, fear, and excitement. Willow knocked softly on the door.
Tara ran as fast as she could down the stairs, she wanted to be the one to open the door and let Willow in. She swung herself around the banister and breathlessly she opened the front door. Willow smiled shyly at Tara, 'she's all out of breath, damn she's so beautiful' she thought.
Tara smiled and stood back from the door, making room for Willow to enter. "Glad you made it"
Willow grinned, "me too, thanks so much for inviting me, it was ok with your mom and dad?"
Tara winced slightly and nodded, leading Willow up the stairs to her room so that she could put her stuff down.
Willow noticed Tara's reaction and could have kicked herself, 'I'm such a big mouth!, mental note to self, do not talk about Tara's parents'.
The two girls entered Tara's room, and Willow looked around appreciatively, "wow, you're great with the decorating, and you haven't even been in Sunnydale more than a week, you should see my room, actually you shouldn't, well probably best not to, health reasons, it's really not very nice, the words 'yuck' and 'eeew' usually come to mind, and to top it all off, I'd have to say 'eyesore'"
Tara laughed
Willow grinned at her, "no... you'll have to see it, you're brave right? Cause I need you to give me some pointers, tell me where I went wrong, or, no, actually cause I don't think there was ever a time where I went right, maybe just, well, anything has got to be better than what I have."
Tara shook her head at the redheads rambling, she laughed, "oh come now. surly you jest" she grinned "your room can't be that bad, I mean, this coming from a girl who probably color co-ordinates her sock drawer"
Willow laughed and then grumbled, "who've you been talking too?"
Tara laughed and grinned, "I'm sure your room is great! Besides wouldn't Buffy have already helped you out in that department, if you did indeed have problems, she just strikes me as that sort of girl"
The smile that had been on Willow's face faded slowly at the mention of Buffy.
Tara noticed her reaction, and winced slightly, upset that Willow was upset, angry with herself for bringing up an obviously sensitive subject, but she couldn't rid her mind of the question, 'Why doesn't Willow want me to know, talk to, and, or, about, Buffy.
Willow nodded slowly, "yeah" she smiled "she tries to help me out, but sadly I am a lost cause...", Willow paused looking at Tara, "no fashion sense at all and apparently" she said leaning in as if to tell Tara a secret, " apparently... I am also quirky" Tara laughed and shook her head.
Willow grinned.
"How are your culinary skills?" Tara asked Willow
Willow shook her head, "I'm thinking it's best if I don't even try and describe them to you, cause I can see some serious scarring effects from the stories I could tell, let's just say, a world of no, and leave it at that, although I have heard that I make a mean piece of toast!"
"Oh, thanks for sparing me" Tara said laughing, "You can just help me then, maybe break the eggs or hold the bowl" she said grinning, and then realizing by the blank look on Willow's face that she hadn't even explained what she wanted to do, "Oh... uh...I mean... if you want to, that is, cause it's my dads birthday tomorrow and I need to make a cake, I just thought that maybe we could make it together but if you don't..."
"No... no! that's so cool! I mean, as long as I don't actually make the cake myself then I would love to! I used to want to be a chef, well, that was when I was four, I used to make mud cakes, mud pies, oh and my finest delicacy, mud soufflé. I was so proud of that food, I used to feed them to my parents, of course I had no idea that they really took them and poured them out when I wasn't looking, they always told me how wonderful my recipes were, and then one day, it all came down on me... I discovered the terrible truth, I discovered that mud actually, tasted bad, really really bad, I'm telling you Tara! I can still taste it!"
Willow made a disgusted face and Tara laughed.
"so that kinda shattered your dreams huh?"
Willow shook her head, "heck no! only kinda delayed them, it took my first time in a real kitchen with a bowl, a spoon, milk, peanut butter, crackers, olives, cucumber, and this stuff that looked an awful lot like ketchup, to do that... and may we never speak of it again"
Tara was doubled over laughing and Willow grinned at her.
"so, you can see, why as much as I would truly love to make this cake for you, it is best for man kind that I don't, I'm kinda miss must-be-locked-up for the safety of the world"
Tara nodded mock-seriously, "if it is for the good of man-kind than I am willing to make that sacrifice"
Willow looked almost shocked and Tara grinned, "well, I wouldn't lock you up... unless of course I could be locked up with you". When the total impact of what she had just said sunk in, Tara turned away quickly, a dark blush forming on her cheeks, she didn't want Willow to see.
Willow laughed, "I'm sure we can make room for two" she said, her heart swelling with happiness.
Tara turned around, trying her best to compose herself, she grinned.
"Tara!" a voice called up the stairs "can you come down here?"
Tara tuned to towards the door and then turned to look at Willow, "It's my dad, come down, you can meet him"
The two girls headed down the hallway, downstairs.
At the bottom of the stairs stood a man with short brown hair, he wasn't particularly tall, but he definitely could not have been classified as short, he had this look about him, a look that said, 'I have been through a hell of a lot'. He was dressed in a black business suit, and he carried a briefcase.
"Hey Daddy", Tara said as she stepped off the stairs, "This is Willow, remember? My friend from school?"
Stephen Maclay nodded with a smile, "how could I forget, she hasn't talked about much else", he stepped forward and shook hands with Willow.
Tara blushed darkly at her father's words, praying to god that Willow wouldn't notice.
Willow shook his hand, grinning
Stephen turned to look at his daughter, who in turn, had noticed his briefcase .
"Where are you going Daddy?" she asked, sounding slightly disappointed "I thought you were taking the night off..."
Stephen Maclay shook his head, "I know, I know, sweetie, but duty calls, and this is a very important meeting, don't wait up, I can see it being one of those lovely all-nighters"
Tara nodded sadly, as Mr. Maclay, gave her a quick kiss on the head, and ruffled her hair, "you two have fun now" he said to them both, and walked out the door.
The two girls stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity, and then Willow spoke, "he seems nice" she said quietly,
"oh, he is" Tara said, giving Willow a small smile
"so... about that cake" Willow said grinning
Tara laughed and the two girls walked into the kitchen.
Willow sat down at the kitchen table and watched Tara as she set up the bowl, pan, and various ingredients. "let me know what I can do Tara" she said smiling.
Tara nodded, "give me a minute and you can help me" she smiled "what do you know about mixing?" she asked grinning.
Willow put on a mock-confused face, "mixing?" she asked "that's the...uh... spoon thing, right?"
Tara nodded, "very good" she laughed unable to keep up the act, "and would you like to do the spoon thing?"
Willow nodded eagerly
Tara grinned "I think we can manage that" she said as she poured the various ingredients into the bowl.
Willow watched her intently, leaning as close as she could to the bowl, and Tara.
Tara passed the cocoa to Willow, "wanna try and open this? My hands are all eggy" she said scrunching up her nose.
Willow gripped both sides of the packet and pulled it gently at first, but when the package refused to budge she tugged harder. "it's. stuck." She said through gritted teeth, still trying to open the package. All of the sudden, cocoa went flying everywhere, covering Willow and Tara and the entire kitchen table. Neither girl could say anything, Willow was frozen with shock, her mouth hanging open. She turned to face Tara and nearly cracked up laughing, she was covered with little brown flecks of chocolate, "Uh... you got something in your hair" she said.
Both girls fell into fits of laughter. Both tried to wipe the offending cocoa out of their hair and off their clothes.
Willow grinned sheepishly, "I'm thinking, maybe, I shouldn't try that spoon thing..."
***
Almost two hours later, the girls were lying down on Tara's bed, a bowl of popcorn sitting between them, watching a movie. The cake was cooling on the kitchen table, the rest of the baking process had gone surprisingly well. Willow even helped crack an egg and mix the batter.
Willow kept stealing small glances at Tara. Smiling at her whenever she caught her eye. The movie wasn't really any good, but it was funny laughing at the terrible acting
Tara sighed happily, she was having a wonderful night. Being with Willow, just seemed to get better and better the more time they spent together. Tara laughed as Willow began to imitate the main character in the movie they were watching.
"ooo! My shirt!" she squealed "you're wearing my shirt!"
Willow grinned at her and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "I don't know about you Tar but these teen movies just seem to get deeper and deeper every time I watch them, I mean, even the shirt, wow! The shirt truly symbolizes her true nature, or her identity as a women, you see what I mean?" Willow gave her a spiritual smile
Tara laughed, "Oh! I see, so basically her best friend, who symbolizes another type of female, is stealing her shirt, or the true essence of her womanhood, and that is just wrong..."
Willow nodded, "exactly"
"Oh no..." Tara said
"What?!" Willow looked at her
"I just surpassed my all time level of confusing myself" she said grinning
Willow laughed, "oh, join the club, that's me for you, miss-ramble-girl, pleased to meet you"
All of the sudden a clock chimed somewhere in the house.
"midnight" Tara said "Happy Birthday Dad" she said quietly
Willow looked at Tara and sat up. "Are you ok?" she asked knowing full well that Tara wasn't "you can talk to me, you know, I'm here ears wide open, mouth shut, it's what friends are for"
Tara gave her a small smile and shook her head, taking a deep breath, making a decision she had never considered making, letting someone else in.
"If you really want to know" she said looking at Willow's face, seeing nothing but compassion and genuine care. "I'll start from the beginning"
Willow nodded, not saying anything.
"My family wasn't always like this, I mean, my dad, it used to be that I had to beg him to give me some time to myself, family time was really big." Tara smiled slightly at the memory, getting a far away look in her eyes. "I can remember every little trip, we used to take these picnics along the creek beside my house, Sometimes we would go swimming, if the weather was nice, and sometimes we would just lie along the river bank, soaking up the sun, playing with the grass. My mom and dad would tell me story after story, about princesses and gallant Knights, stories where dreams come true and the people live happily ever after. God, I loved those stories so much, I can remember begging my parents for one more, just one more, they would almost always give in" she said smiling softly.
Willow sat there listening
"My whole family was really close, probably because it was just the three of us. My mom, my dad, and me. My mom and I were more like sisters than anything else. We would spend long hours just talking, while she brushed and braided my hair, she was my best friend, well, to be perfectly honest she was my only friend, but I was happy, who wouldn't have been? I mean, maybe school wasn't good, and my social skills were far from ok, but I had all that I needed, I was loved". Tara felt the tears welling in her eyes.
Willow wanted to reach out and put her arms around her, tell her that she is loved, that she is loved beyond belief.
"My parents had one of those relationships, the ones where they may as well have fallen in love yesterday because that was how they acted, very much in love with each other. Life was perfect, until my mom got sick." Tara looked pained at reliving the memory, and tears started falling down her cheeks. "We didn't know what it was. At first it looked like just a bad cold, then it progressed to something like a fever. We took her to the doctors, and they gave us some medication, but even they weren't quite certain what her problem was, they assumed it would just pass. But it didn't. My mom was bed- bound, all she could do was sit up, and even sometimes that was too much effort. Finally the doctors took her into the hospital for some real examinations, and they found her problem. To this day I am not sure quite what she was diagnosed with. Some fancy sounding sickness, but it didn't really matter to me, all I knew was that my mom was in pain, that she was hurting and that there was nothing I could do about it", tears continued to coarse down Tara's face, she turned and looked Willow in the eyes, "They said she'd die, they told us that she wouldn't live, but I refused to believe it, not my mom, it wasn't possible. But she did Willow, one morning she was gone, I woke up and she was gone, I remember walking into her room and climbing up on the bed to be with her, needing her ever- constant comfort, but I didn't find it, all I found was cold, all I found was the empty shell that had once been the most amazing woman I have ever known. My world was shattered. The secure walls my family had built up came tumbling down, leaving me alone and vulnerable. I didn't think that I would ever move on, that I would ever be able to survive without her, but slowly, it got easier, not a day goes by that I don't think of her, but, it doesn't hurt all of the time now, I can smile at her memory, remember the good things." Tara brought her hand up to her face, to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling.
Willow reached out and tenderly wiped Tara's eyes with thumb, her heart hurt her so badly, knowing the pain that Tara must have gone through.
They sat in silence for a moment and then Tara continued, quietly, "my dad was never the same after that, he threw everything he had into his job, working full time and as late as he could. I think it hurt him to see me. I look like her, you know. he always told me that. He was always working, and then when he got the job promotion, he sold our land and house, and we moved here, to Sunnydale, California. I know he loves me Will" she said the tears welling again, "I know he tries, but I... I just want my daddy back" she said breaking down completely.
Willow couldn't resist anymore, she took her into her arms and rocked her soothingly. "shhh... it's ok" she whispered to the sobbing blond "it's ok, I'm here for you".
The two girls sat this way until Tara's crying quieted down.
Tara sat up and wiped her eyes, "I'm sorry Willow" she said quietly
"no!" Willow said forcefully, "don't you ever be sorry, I'm here for you Tara, I always will be, I want you to know that"
Tara smiled slightly, "I'm all blotchy" she said
Willow shook her head, then looked Tara in the eyes, "you're beautiful"
Tara looked at Willow, staring straight into her eyes, and seeing nothing but love and adoration, she couldn't take her eyes away from Willow's as the redhead reached out her hand to cup her face.
Tara rubbed her cheek slowly against Willow's soft hand, she sighed and brought her hand up to rest on top of Willow's.
Willow leaned forward slowly, until her lips met Tara's, soft skin against even softer skin, this was bliss.
Tara brought her hands up and put them around Willow's neck pulling her closer, wanting to be as close as she possibly could.
The kiss deepened as Willow ran her tongue slowly along Tara's bottom lip.
Tara opened her mouth eagerly accepting the tongue, she felt like she was on fire.
Willow put her arms around Tara's waist pulling her even closer to her.
After a few minutes the girls pulled away, both breathing hard.
Willow looked at Tara and moved to push her back onto the bed, she climbed on top of her, straddling her with her legs. Willow looked down at Tara, her eyes saying everything she had yet to say. She leaned forward and kissed Tara softly, and then pulled her lips away, bringing them up to her ear. "I love you Tara Maclay" she said softly
Tara's heart felt like it was going to explode, "oh god..." she whispered "I love you too Willow, I love you too"
Willow kissed her again on the lips, a small kiss, and then kissed her nose. She sat up and looked at Tara grinning. "you taste like chocolate"
Penguin'sPawn:new name? Cool! Glad you liked the story!! Hope you like this next bit!!
Ryu Sakana: I'm glad you like the story!! Hope you like the sleepover!!! : D
Kookycookie: ooh! Thanks for adding me to your list!! About the Willow Tara kissage, not saying a word. *whistles innocently* hope you like the next chapter!!
Slayerfan1: glad you like!! Hope you like the next part!!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the BTVS characters, (wish I did!) that privilege belongs to Joss and ME.
Willow sat on her bed, watching the clock, growing more and more anxious with every tick. 'I can't be early!' she thought 'I will look too eager, and that's not good! But if I go late, It'll look like I don't really want to be there and that's not good either!'. Time seemed to be crawling. Just as Willow decided that she couldn't wait any longer, the phone rang. 'Oh no! she's calling to cancel!' Willow grabbed the phone quickly, and pulled it to her ear, waiting, expecting, to hear Tara's voice on the line.
"Willow?"
Willow let out a huge breath. "Buffy?"
"Yeah Will, it's me"
"Oh, uh, what's up?", Willow wanted nothing more than to end the conversation there but she knew that there was no way she could get away with that.
"Not much, not much, you know, just hanging around, the place is kinda vampless at the moment"
"Oh, right, well, what did you call for?" Willow decided to take it right to the point.
Buffy paused for a moment, "Oh, right, yeah, well seeing as how my slayer skills are not needed at the moment I figured we could hang, just you, me, and Xander, we could take in a movie, pizza, fun stuff, totally work-free, you know kinda a girls night in, well with the exception of Xander of course" she said, paused, then added cheekily "although that is debatable..."
Willow didn't say anything, her mind was whirling with how she could say no to her friend.
"so... you in?"
Willow grimaced, "actually Buffy... I can't"
"can't?" Buffy asked sounding confused.
"no, I mean, yeah, I can't"
"Why not? Are you ok?", Buffy sounded concerned
"I'm fine, but I'm kinda sorta busy, y'know, the already-doing-something- going-somewhere-tonight variety"
There was a silence on the line for a few moments.
"Oh... ok then... well... what are you doing? I mean where are ya going?"
"Oh...uh...just out...y'know...um...seeing someone...hanging around" Willow found herself not wanting to tell Buffy about Tara, it felt surreal as it was, that she was actually going to stay at Tara's house, but talking about it, telling Buffy about it, it felt almost like testing the fates.
"Ok, well, I should go then, Bye Will"
"Bye"
Willow placed the phone on the hook and walked out of her house and down the street, all thoughts of her conversation with Buffy pushed from her mind.
Buffy hung up the phone, and then looked at it puzzled. She had heard Willow's reluctance to talk to her, loud and clear. "I don't get her..." she said to herself, "I just don't get her"
***
Tara paced the length of her room, glancing nervously at the clock. 'she's a minute late! Oh God! I knew it! I knew she wasn't coming!'. The past two days had been like a dream for Tara. Meeting Willow. Getting to know Willow, and, as much as she tried to deny it, Falling totally head-over- heals in love with Willow. Ever since Willow had accepted her invitation Tara could think of nothing else. 'I can't believe she even said yes!' she thought, 'What if she doesn't like my house? Or my room? What if she decides that she really doesn't want to know me and that she made a mistake coming here?'
Willow could see the house ahead. 'It's so ordinary...' she thought, 'how can someone so special and wonderful be living in a house so much like my own?'. She walked slowly up the road, dragging her feet, in an attempt to buy more time. 'What if I make a fool of myself!? What if we don't have anything to say to each other or if she finds me boring?', the doubts continued to fly into Willow's head, one after the other. She had spent the previous night planning it all out, every clever joke she would tell, every little action she would do, but as she approached the front door of Tara's new house her mind went blank, all thoughts and feelings gone, except nervousness, fear, and excitement. Willow knocked softly on the door.
Tara ran as fast as she could down the stairs, she wanted to be the one to open the door and let Willow in. She swung herself around the banister and breathlessly she opened the front door. Willow smiled shyly at Tara, 'she's all out of breath, damn she's so beautiful' she thought.
Tara smiled and stood back from the door, making room for Willow to enter. "Glad you made it"
Willow grinned, "me too, thanks so much for inviting me, it was ok with your mom and dad?"
Tara winced slightly and nodded, leading Willow up the stairs to her room so that she could put her stuff down.
Willow noticed Tara's reaction and could have kicked herself, 'I'm such a big mouth!, mental note to self, do not talk about Tara's parents'.
The two girls entered Tara's room, and Willow looked around appreciatively, "wow, you're great with the decorating, and you haven't even been in Sunnydale more than a week, you should see my room, actually you shouldn't, well probably best not to, health reasons, it's really not very nice, the words 'yuck' and 'eeew' usually come to mind, and to top it all off, I'd have to say 'eyesore'"
Tara laughed
Willow grinned at her, "no... you'll have to see it, you're brave right? Cause I need you to give me some pointers, tell me where I went wrong, or, no, actually cause I don't think there was ever a time where I went right, maybe just, well, anything has got to be better than what I have."
Tara shook her head at the redheads rambling, she laughed, "oh come now. surly you jest" she grinned "your room can't be that bad, I mean, this coming from a girl who probably color co-ordinates her sock drawer"
Willow laughed and then grumbled, "who've you been talking too?"
Tara laughed and grinned, "I'm sure your room is great! Besides wouldn't Buffy have already helped you out in that department, if you did indeed have problems, she just strikes me as that sort of girl"
The smile that had been on Willow's face faded slowly at the mention of Buffy.
Tara noticed her reaction, and winced slightly, upset that Willow was upset, angry with herself for bringing up an obviously sensitive subject, but she couldn't rid her mind of the question, 'Why doesn't Willow want me to know, talk to, and, or, about, Buffy.
Willow nodded slowly, "yeah" she smiled "she tries to help me out, but sadly I am a lost cause...", Willow paused looking at Tara, "no fashion sense at all and apparently" she said leaning in as if to tell Tara a secret, " apparently... I am also quirky" Tara laughed and shook her head.
Willow grinned.
"How are your culinary skills?" Tara asked Willow
Willow shook her head, "I'm thinking it's best if I don't even try and describe them to you, cause I can see some serious scarring effects from the stories I could tell, let's just say, a world of no, and leave it at that, although I have heard that I make a mean piece of toast!"
"Oh, thanks for sparing me" Tara said laughing, "You can just help me then, maybe break the eggs or hold the bowl" she said grinning, and then realizing by the blank look on Willow's face that she hadn't even explained what she wanted to do, "Oh... uh...I mean... if you want to, that is, cause it's my dads birthday tomorrow and I need to make a cake, I just thought that maybe we could make it together but if you don't..."
"No... no! that's so cool! I mean, as long as I don't actually make the cake myself then I would love to! I used to want to be a chef, well, that was when I was four, I used to make mud cakes, mud pies, oh and my finest delicacy, mud soufflé. I was so proud of that food, I used to feed them to my parents, of course I had no idea that they really took them and poured them out when I wasn't looking, they always told me how wonderful my recipes were, and then one day, it all came down on me... I discovered the terrible truth, I discovered that mud actually, tasted bad, really really bad, I'm telling you Tara! I can still taste it!"
Willow made a disgusted face and Tara laughed.
"so that kinda shattered your dreams huh?"
Willow shook her head, "heck no! only kinda delayed them, it took my first time in a real kitchen with a bowl, a spoon, milk, peanut butter, crackers, olives, cucumber, and this stuff that looked an awful lot like ketchup, to do that... and may we never speak of it again"
Tara was doubled over laughing and Willow grinned at her.
"so, you can see, why as much as I would truly love to make this cake for you, it is best for man kind that I don't, I'm kinda miss must-be-locked-up for the safety of the world"
Tara nodded mock-seriously, "if it is for the good of man-kind than I am willing to make that sacrifice"
Willow looked almost shocked and Tara grinned, "well, I wouldn't lock you up... unless of course I could be locked up with you". When the total impact of what she had just said sunk in, Tara turned away quickly, a dark blush forming on her cheeks, she didn't want Willow to see.
Willow laughed, "I'm sure we can make room for two" she said, her heart swelling with happiness.
Tara turned around, trying her best to compose herself, she grinned.
"Tara!" a voice called up the stairs "can you come down here?"
Tara tuned to towards the door and then turned to look at Willow, "It's my dad, come down, you can meet him"
The two girls headed down the hallway, downstairs.
At the bottom of the stairs stood a man with short brown hair, he wasn't particularly tall, but he definitely could not have been classified as short, he had this look about him, a look that said, 'I have been through a hell of a lot'. He was dressed in a black business suit, and he carried a briefcase.
"Hey Daddy", Tara said as she stepped off the stairs, "This is Willow, remember? My friend from school?"
Stephen Maclay nodded with a smile, "how could I forget, she hasn't talked about much else", he stepped forward and shook hands with Willow.
Tara blushed darkly at her father's words, praying to god that Willow wouldn't notice.
Willow shook his hand, grinning
Stephen turned to look at his daughter, who in turn, had noticed his briefcase .
"Where are you going Daddy?" she asked, sounding slightly disappointed "I thought you were taking the night off..."
Stephen Maclay shook his head, "I know, I know, sweetie, but duty calls, and this is a very important meeting, don't wait up, I can see it being one of those lovely all-nighters"
Tara nodded sadly, as Mr. Maclay, gave her a quick kiss on the head, and ruffled her hair, "you two have fun now" he said to them both, and walked out the door.
The two girls stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity, and then Willow spoke, "he seems nice" she said quietly,
"oh, he is" Tara said, giving Willow a small smile
"so... about that cake" Willow said grinning
Tara laughed and the two girls walked into the kitchen.
Willow sat down at the kitchen table and watched Tara as she set up the bowl, pan, and various ingredients. "let me know what I can do Tara" she said smiling.
Tara nodded, "give me a minute and you can help me" she smiled "what do you know about mixing?" she asked grinning.
Willow put on a mock-confused face, "mixing?" she asked "that's the...uh... spoon thing, right?"
Tara nodded, "very good" she laughed unable to keep up the act, "and would you like to do the spoon thing?"
Willow nodded eagerly
Tara grinned "I think we can manage that" she said as she poured the various ingredients into the bowl.
Willow watched her intently, leaning as close as she could to the bowl, and Tara.
Tara passed the cocoa to Willow, "wanna try and open this? My hands are all eggy" she said scrunching up her nose.
Willow gripped both sides of the packet and pulled it gently at first, but when the package refused to budge she tugged harder. "it's. stuck." She said through gritted teeth, still trying to open the package. All of the sudden, cocoa went flying everywhere, covering Willow and Tara and the entire kitchen table. Neither girl could say anything, Willow was frozen with shock, her mouth hanging open. She turned to face Tara and nearly cracked up laughing, she was covered with little brown flecks of chocolate, "Uh... you got something in your hair" she said.
Both girls fell into fits of laughter. Both tried to wipe the offending cocoa out of their hair and off their clothes.
Willow grinned sheepishly, "I'm thinking, maybe, I shouldn't try that spoon thing..."
***
Almost two hours later, the girls were lying down on Tara's bed, a bowl of popcorn sitting between them, watching a movie. The cake was cooling on the kitchen table, the rest of the baking process had gone surprisingly well. Willow even helped crack an egg and mix the batter.
Willow kept stealing small glances at Tara. Smiling at her whenever she caught her eye. The movie wasn't really any good, but it was funny laughing at the terrible acting
Tara sighed happily, she was having a wonderful night. Being with Willow, just seemed to get better and better the more time they spent together. Tara laughed as Willow began to imitate the main character in the movie they were watching.
"ooo! My shirt!" she squealed "you're wearing my shirt!"
Willow grinned at her and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "I don't know about you Tar but these teen movies just seem to get deeper and deeper every time I watch them, I mean, even the shirt, wow! The shirt truly symbolizes her true nature, or her identity as a women, you see what I mean?" Willow gave her a spiritual smile
Tara laughed, "Oh! I see, so basically her best friend, who symbolizes another type of female, is stealing her shirt, or the true essence of her womanhood, and that is just wrong..."
Willow nodded, "exactly"
"Oh no..." Tara said
"What?!" Willow looked at her
"I just surpassed my all time level of confusing myself" she said grinning
Willow laughed, "oh, join the club, that's me for you, miss-ramble-girl, pleased to meet you"
All of the sudden a clock chimed somewhere in the house.
"midnight" Tara said "Happy Birthday Dad" she said quietly
Willow looked at Tara and sat up. "Are you ok?" she asked knowing full well that Tara wasn't "you can talk to me, you know, I'm here ears wide open, mouth shut, it's what friends are for"
Tara gave her a small smile and shook her head, taking a deep breath, making a decision she had never considered making, letting someone else in.
"If you really want to know" she said looking at Willow's face, seeing nothing but compassion and genuine care. "I'll start from the beginning"
Willow nodded, not saying anything.
"My family wasn't always like this, I mean, my dad, it used to be that I had to beg him to give me some time to myself, family time was really big." Tara smiled slightly at the memory, getting a far away look in her eyes. "I can remember every little trip, we used to take these picnics along the creek beside my house, Sometimes we would go swimming, if the weather was nice, and sometimes we would just lie along the river bank, soaking up the sun, playing with the grass. My mom and dad would tell me story after story, about princesses and gallant Knights, stories where dreams come true and the people live happily ever after. God, I loved those stories so much, I can remember begging my parents for one more, just one more, they would almost always give in" she said smiling softly.
Willow sat there listening
"My whole family was really close, probably because it was just the three of us. My mom, my dad, and me. My mom and I were more like sisters than anything else. We would spend long hours just talking, while she brushed and braided my hair, she was my best friend, well, to be perfectly honest she was my only friend, but I was happy, who wouldn't have been? I mean, maybe school wasn't good, and my social skills were far from ok, but I had all that I needed, I was loved". Tara felt the tears welling in her eyes.
Willow wanted to reach out and put her arms around her, tell her that she is loved, that she is loved beyond belief.
"My parents had one of those relationships, the ones where they may as well have fallen in love yesterday because that was how they acted, very much in love with each other. Life was perfect, until my mom got sick." Tara looked pained at reliving the memory, and tears started falling down her cheeks. "We didn't know what it was. At first it looked like just a bad cold, then it progressed to something like a fever. We took her to the doctors, and they gave us some medication, but even they weren't quite certain what her problem was, they assumed it would just pass. But it didn't. My mom was bed- bound, all she could do was sit up, and even sometimes that was too much effort. Finally the doctors took her into the hospital for some real examinations, and they found her problem. To this day I am not sure quite what she was diagnosed with. Some fancy sounding sickness, but it didn't really matter to me, all I knew was that my mom was in pain, that she was hurting and that there was nothing I could do about it", tears continued to coarse down Tara's face, she turned and looked Willow in the eyes, "They said she'd die, they told us that she wouldn't live, but I refused to believe it, not my mom, it wasn't possible. But she did Willow, one morning she was gone, I woke up and she was gone, I remember walking into her room and climbing up on the bed to be with her, needing her ever- constant comfort, but I didn't find it, all I found was cold, all I found was the empty shell that had once been the most amazing woman I have ever known. My world was shattered. The secure walls my family had built up came tumbling down, leaving me alone and vulnerable. I didn't think that I would ever move on, that I would ever be able to survive without her, but slowly, it got easier, not a day goes by that I don't think of her, but, it doesn't hurt all of the time now, I can smile at her memory, remember the good things." Tara brought her hand up to her face, to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling.
Willow reached out and tenderly wiped Tara's eyes with thumb, her heart hurt her so badly, knowing the pain that Tara must have gone through.
They sat in silence for a moment and then Tara continued, quietly, "my dad was never the same after that, he threw everything he had into his job, working full time and as late as he could. I think it hurt him to see me. I look like her, you know. he always told me that. He was always working, and then when he got the job promotion, he sold our land and house, and we moved here, to Sunnydale, California. I know he loves me Will" she said the tears welling again, "I know he tries, but I... I just want my daddy back" she said breaking down completely.
Willow couldn't resist anymore, she took her into her arms and rocked her soothingly. "shhh... it's ok" she whispered to the sobbing blond "it's ok, I'm here for you".
The two girls sat this way until Tara's crying quieted down.
Tara sat up and wiped her eyes, "I'm sorry Willow" she said quietly
"no!" Willow said forcefully, "don't you ever be sorry, I'm here for you Tara, I always will be, I want you to know that"
Tara smiled slightly, "I'm all blotchy" she said
Willow shook her head, then looked Tara in the eyes, "you're beautiful"
Tara looked at Willow, staring straight into her eyes, and seeing nothing but love and adoration, she couldn't take her eyes away from Willow's as the redhead reached out her hand to cup her face.
Tara rubbed her cheek slowly against Willow's soft hand, she sighed and brought her hand up to rest on top of Willow's.
Willow leaned forward slowly, until her lips met Tara's, soft skin against even softer skin, this was bliss.
Tara brought her hands up and put them around Willow's neck pulling her closer, wanting to be as close as she possibly could.
The kiss deepened as Willow ran her tongue slowly along Tara's bottom lip.
Tara opened her mouth eagerly accepting the tongue, she felt like she was on fire.
Willow put her arms around Tara's waist pulling her even closer to her.
After a few minutes the girls pulled away, both breathing hard.
Willow looked at Tara and moved to push her back onto the bed, she climbed on top of her, straddling her with her legs. Willow looked down at Tara, her eyes saying everything she had yet to say. She leaned forward and kissed Tara softly, and then pulled her lips away, bringing them up to her ear. "I love you Tara Maclay" she said softly
Tara's heart felt like it was going to explode, "oh god..." she whispered "I love you too Willow, I love you too"
Willow kissed her again on the lips, a small kiss, and then kissed her nose. She sat up and looked at Tara grinning. "you taste like chocolate"