Chapter 9
Penguin'sPawn: Thanks for the feedback! I know what you mean about it being so sad about Tara's mom, maybe I'll sound totally crazy here but, when I write it's like the story isn't mine anymore, once it's on paper, it is this real world somehow, so I always love to update cause, as much as I may leave you guys hanging on for an update I always want one even more, yep! Told you it sounded crazy! :D
Charmed-Dragon: Glad you like my fic!!! Hope you like the next part!! :D
Ryu Sakana: Thanks so much for all the feedback!!! I'm really glad that you like my fic and the way I wrote Will and Tara. I try and make it as natural as possible when it comes to their emotions. :D Will/Tara forever!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the BTVS characters, (wish I did!) that privilege belongs to Joss and ME.
The sun shone into the bedroom through the open curtains. Tara moved slightly on the bed. Waking up, two thoughts hitting her. Willow kissed me. Willow loves me. Tara smiled, feeling the warm sun on her face. She reached out slowly, expecting to feel soft skin but feeling nothing but empty space. She opened her eyes to confirm what she already knew. Willow was not sleeping on her bed. She glanced around quickly for some sign of the redhead and saw her curled up by the door, her head in her arms.
"Willow" she said gently, walking over to her. "Will, are you ok?". When Willow didn't respond Tara sat on the floor next to her, placing one hand on her back for comfort. "Please tell me sweetie" she said, "I want to be there for you like you are for me Will".
At those words Willow lifted her head to look at Tara. Tara could plainly see that Willow had been crying. Here eyes were puffy, red, and bloodshot.
"See Tara" she said softly, "I..." she started as if to tell her something but changed her mind in the middle, "sometimes I can't believe the way my life's turned out"
Tara looked at her, feeling stung. "D-d-did I do something wrong Will?" she asked, stuttering for the first time in a long time, while being around Willow.
"No! all you did was right Tar. It's me... all me..." Willow looked down at her hands unable to look Tara into eyes.
Tara reached out and placed some stray locks of Willows flamey hair behind her ears. "talk to me Will" she urged.
"Tara, you love me?" Willow questioned softly, looking at Tara for a confirmation she knew she would get.
Tara nodded, "I love you Will", she said her voice strong and forceful but filled with worry and fear. "I love you so much sweetie". Tara pulled Willow into her arms.
Willow's bottom lip began to quiver as she felt Tara's arms around her, "I don't deserve you Tara" she said, tears now streaming down her face, "I am just an insecure little baby, I can't even care about the friends I have known practically since I was born. You deserve someone so much better than me"
Tara squeezed her tight, "there is no one better than you Will"
Tara looked Willow in the eyes, "in a million years, I would never want anyone else" she said kissing Willow's cheek, tasting the salty tears.
Willow began to shake in her arms as the tears fell again, "Tara" she sobbed "I don't understand why I feel these things" Tara looked confused and almost hurt, thinking that Willow was talking about her love for her, "what things?" she asked softly.
Willow looked down at her hands, "for a long time I have felt so angry, so hurt Tara, and it doesn't make sense. Sometimes I think that I am just a terrible person."
Tara looked at her worried, "what do you mean?"
Willow looked up
Tara could see the pain in her eyes
"It started a couple of months ago, I started to feel sad Tara, really sad, and at the same time lost and angry. I... I don't understand it, but I felt it... it was like this deep emotion would take over me... like I was sinking in this pit of despair, and it was dark, so dark, and I was alone, and I was scared. I have had these horrible dreams"
Tara moved closer to Willow, wanting to take away all the pain.
"I would cry" Willow continued, looking at Tara "until I'd cried all my tears, and then I still managed to cry some more" she sighed and looked at her hands " I'm so horrible... I can't even stand to be around my best friends anymore, it's like they just make me all angry and...and even sadder. The only thing in my life that seems any good.... The only thing in my life that can make me smile, is you, Tara, I have only known you for a few days, but it feels like forever, already I love you more than anything I have ever known, but I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you. I...I am not a nice person"
Tara moved so that she was facing Willow directly. "Now you look at me and listen Willow Rosenberg" she said with a force that even surprised her "what you just told me. What you just described. That sounded like some sort of depression. Depression is a horrible thing to live with Willow. But it does happen and it doesn't make you any less of a good person. You see Will, you care, you are upset by the things you have been thinking, the way you have been acting, it affected you, and if you were a bad person then you probably wouldn't have thought twice about it. I don't know how people's minds work. I don't know what it must have been like..."
Tara reached her hand tracing Willows lips lightly, running her fingers up and down them slowly. "But I know you Will. You're strong. You must be, you survived this long without someone to talk to" Tara sighed "I am here for you Will, always... I am only sorry that I wasn't before, it... it must have been so hard for you"
Willow looked at Tara, seeing the concern etched on her face, she nodded slowly "but you make it all better Tara... do you... do you think that they hate me now? After the way I have treated them?"
"I don't think they could ever hate you Will" Tara said softly and then added "and don't you ever say that you aren't good enough for me! Ever! You are far more than I deserve Willow Rosenberg! So don't let me hear you putting yourself down again!"
Willow shook her head, raised an eyebrow and grinned, "wow, I like this side of you"
Tara cracked a smile, "you like it when I act all bossy huh?"
Willow nodded and gave a tiny puppy dog face, "it's therapy for me, I need to be kept in line"
Tara gave a thoughtful smile, then looked at Willow, smirking, "well if it's for medical purposes then who am I to hold out on you", she stood up, pulling Willow up with her and then began kissing her, not a soft, gentle, kiss, but one full of passion and lust.
Willow hadn't expected the impact Tara had made, and the two girls fell against the wall, neither noticing or caring.
When the girls pulled apart, Tara stood back, looking at Willow who was breathing heavily, she smiled innocently, "did that help at all?"
Willow nodded, "I think it did, yeah, I mean, maybe you should dose that stuff out on a regular basis, just to keep my health levels up"
Tara grinned, "Oh...uh...I think I can manage that" she said planting a small kiss on Willow's nose.
***
Willow couldn't believe how fast everything had happened, less than four days ago she had met the love of her life, and less than a day ago, she was at a loss for what to do, knowing that she loved her, wanting to be with her, but then it had seemed so impossible. Now she had Tara, and Tara knew everything and still loved her.
Tara grabbed her hand. "Will you come somewhere with me?" she asked.
Willow nodded, "of course, where are we going?"
After putting their shoes on, Tara led Willow, down the stairs and out the front door.
"I just wanted to go for a walk" Tara said, finally answering Willow's question.
Willow smiled, "walks are always good, cause, they're good for you, and good for you, is healthy and healthy is good so, yeah, walks are good"
Tara grinned, "good" she said happily as the two girls made their way down the street to the park.
They walked in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company.
Willow stopped, pulling Tara down to sit on the grass with her. The two girls sat as close together as they possibly could and held hands as they looked out over the lake.
Tara rested her head on Willow's shoulder.
After a few minutes Tara spoke.
"Will?" she asked softly, breaking the comfortable silence they had been enveloped in.
"yeah?"
"How... how are we gonna tell people about us?"
Willow pulled away and looked Tara in the eyes, "Oh... uh...I wonder how they'd take it ... I mean... well..."
Tara looked Willow in the eyes, "we don't have to tell them, I mean, not yet anyway, not until you are comfortable with us"
Willow interrupted, "I am comfortable with us baby!, it's just... it's not that...it's..."
Tara shook her head, "no, I meant to say ready... I don't mind Will, whenever you are ready"
Willow nodded snuggling up to Tara as the morning sun shone down on the girls.
"I want to tell em... I want to tell em soon, maybe, just, not yet" Willow said.
"ok Will" Tara said softly "as long as I'm with you I'm happy, no matter who knows"
Willow smiled at Tara, one that seemed to radiate the love she felt for the blond. "I love you Tara" she said putting an arm around the blonds waist and staring out at the lake.
"I love you too Will", Tara whispered as they watched the ripples in the water flow as two ducks swam past.
Penguin'sPawn: Thanks for the feedback! I know what you mean about it being so sad about Tara's mom, maybe I'll sound totally crazy here but, when I write it's like the story isn't mine anymore, once it's on paper, it is this real world somehow, so I always love to update cause, as much as I may leave you guys hanging on for an update I always want one even more, yep! Told you it sounded crazy! :D
Charmed-Dragon: Glad you like my fic!!! Hope you like the next part!! :D
Ryu Sakana: Thanks so much for all the feedback!!! I'm really glad that you like my fic and the way I wrote Will and Tara. I try and make it as natural as possible when it comes to their emotions. :D Will/Tara forever!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the BTVS characters, (wish I did!) that privilege belongs to Joss and ME.
The sun shone into the bedroom through the open curtains. Tara moved slightly on the bed. Waking up, two thoughts hitting her. Willow kissed me. Willow loves me. Tara smiled, feeling the warm sun on her face. She reached out slowly, expecting to feel soft skin but feeling nothing but empty space. She opened her eyes to confirm what she already knew. Willow was not sleeping on her bed. She glanced around quickly for some sign of the redhead and saw her curled up by the door, her head in her arms.
"Willow" she said gently, walking over to her. "Will, are you ok?". When Willow didn't respond Tara sat on the floor next to her, placing one hand on her back for comfort. "Please tell me sweetie" she said, "I want to be there for you like you are for me Will".
At those words Willow lifted her head to look at Tara. Tara could plainly see that Willow had been crying. Here eyes were puffy, red, and bloodshot.
"See Tara" she said softly, "I..." she started as if to tell her something but changed her mind in the middle, "sometimes I can't believe the way my life's turned out"
Tara looked at her, feeling stung. "D-d-did I do something wrong Will?" she asked, stuttering for the first time in a long time, while being around Willow.
"No! all you did was right Tar. It's me... all me..." Willow looked down at her hands unable to look Tara into eyes.
Tara reached out and placed some stray locks of Willows flamey hair behind her ears. "talk to me Will" she urged.
"Tara, you love me?" Willow questioned softly, looking at Tara for a confirmation she knew she would get.
Tara nodded, "I love you Will", she said her voice strong and forceful but filled with worry and fear. "I love you so much sweetie". Tara pulled Willow into her arms.
Willow's bottom lip began to quiver as she felt Tara's arms around her, "I don't deserve you Tara" she said, tears now streaming down her face, "I am just an insecure little baby, I can't even care about the friends I have known practically since I was born. You deserve someone so much better than me"
Tara squeezed her tight, "there is no one better than you Will"
Tara looked Willow in the eyes, "in a million years, I would never want anyone else" she said kissing Willow's cheek, tasting the salty tears.
Willow began to shake in her arms as the tears fell again, "Tara" she sobbed "I don't understand why I feel these things" Tara looked confused and almost hurt, thinking that Willow was talking about her love for her, "what things?" she asked softly.
Willow looked down at her hands, "for a long time I have felt so angry, so hurt Tara, and it doesn't make sense. Sometimes I think that I am just a terrible person."
Tara looked at her worried, "what do you mean?"
Willow looked up
Tara could see the pain in her eyes
"It started a couple of months ago, I started to feel sad Tara, really sad, and at the same time lost and angry. I... I don't understand it, but I felt it... it was like this deep emotion would take over me... like I was sinking in this pit of despair, and it was dark, so dark, and I was alone, and I was scared. I have had these horrible dreams"
Tara moved closer to Willow, wanting to take away all the pain.
"I would cry" Willow continued, looking at Tara "until I'd cried all my tears, and then I still managed to cry some more" she sighed and looked at her hands " I'm so horrible... I can't even stand to be around my best friends anymore, it's like they just make me all angry and...and even sadder. The only thing in my life that seems any good.... The only thing in my life that can make me smile, is you, Tara, I have only known you for a few days, but it feels like forever, already I love you more than anything I have ever known, but I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you. I...I am not a nice person"
Tara moved so that she was facing Willow directly. "Now you look at me and listen Willow Rosenberg" she said with a force that even surprised her "what you just told me. What you just described. That sounded like some sort of depression. Depression is a horrible thing to live with Willow. But it does happen and it doesn't make you any less of a good person. You see Will, you care, you are upset by the things you have been thinking, the way you have been acting, it affected you, and if you were a bad person then you probably wouldn't have thought twice about it. I don't know how people's minds work. I don't know what it must have been like..."
Tara reached her hand tracing Willows lips lightly, running her fingers up and down them slowly. "But I know you Will. You're strong. You must be, you survived this long without someone to talk to" Tara sighed "I am here for you Will, always... I am only sorry that I wasn't before, it... it must have been so hard for you"
Willow looked at Tara, seeing the concern etched on her face, she nodded slowly "but you make it all better Tara... do you... do you think that they hate me now? After the way I have treated them?"
"I don't think they could ever hate you Will" Tara said softly and then added "and don't you ever say that you aren't good enough for me! Ever! You are far more than I deserve Willow Rosenberg! So don't let me hear you putting yourself down again!"
Willow shook her head, raised an eyebrow and grinned, "wow, I like this side of you"
Tara cracked a smile, "you like it when I act all bossy huh?"
Willow nodded and gave a tiny puppy dog face, "it's therapy for me, I need to be kept in line"
Tara gave a thoughtful smile, then looked at Willow, smirking, "well if it's for medical purposes then who am I to hold out on you", she stood up, pulling Willow up with her and then began kissing her, not a soft, gentle, kiss, but one full of passion and lust.
Willow hadn't expected the impact Tara had made, and the two girls fell against the wall, neither noticing or caring.
When the girls pulled apart, Tara stood back, looking at Willow who was breathing heavily, she smiled innocently, "did that help at all?"
Willow nodded, "I think it did, yeah, I mean, maybe you should dose that stuff out on a regular basis, just to keep my health levels up"
Tara grinned, "Oh...uh...I think I can manage that" she said planting a small kiss on Willow's nose.
***
Willow couldn't believe how fast everything had happened, less than four days ago she had met the love of her life, and less than a day ago, she was at a loss for what to do, knowing that she loved her, wanting to be with her, but then it had seemed so impossible. Now she had Tara, and Tara knew everything and still loved her.
Tara grabbed her hand. "Will you come somewhere with me?" she asked.
Willow nodded, "of course, where are we going?"
After putting their shoes on, Tara led Willow, down the stairs and out the front door.
"I just wanted to go for a walk" Tara said, finally answering Willow's question.
Willow smiled, "walks are always good, cause, they're good for you, and good for you, is healthy and healthy is good so, yeah, walks are good"
Tara grinned, "good" she said happily as the two girls made their way down the street to the park.
They walked in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company.
Willow stopped, pulling Tara down to sit on the grass with her. The two girls sat as close together as they possibly could and held hands as they looked out over the lake.
Tara rested her head on Willow's shoulder.
After a few minutes Tara spoke.
"Will?" she asked softly, breaking the comfortable silence they had been enveloped in.
"yeah?"
"How... how are we gonna tell people about us?"
Willow pulled away and looked Tara in the eyes, "Oh... uh...I wonder how they'd take it ... I mean... well..."
Tara looked Willow in the eyes, "we don't have to tell them, I mean, not yet anyway, not until you are comfortable with us"
Willow interrupted, "I am comfortable with us baby!, it's just... it's not that...it's..."
Tara shook her head, "no, I meant to say ready... I don't mind Will, whenever you are ready"
Willow nodded snuggling up to Tara as the morning sun shone down on the girls.
"I want to tell em... I want to tell em soon, maybe, just, not yet" Willow said.
"ok Will" Tara said softly "as long as I'm with you I'm happy, no matter who knows"
Willow smiled at Tara, one that seemed to radiate the love she felt for the blond. "I love you Tara" she said putting an arm around the blonds waist and staring out at the lake.
"I love you too Will", Tara whispered as they watched the ripples in the water flow as two ducks swam past.