Chapter39

I was then hence forth, sent to the infirmary. Where someone had me excellently drugged. They were a bit cautious of me at first, and kept trying to calm me down. But I just couldn't. I was near hysteria at some point.

Then I was handed a glass of liquid, and that's the last thing I remember.

When I woke up, I was looking full in the face at Pippin. He looked worried. And I had no idea how long he had been sitting there, watching me sleep. I didn't even know if it was the same day.

Oh gawd, just looking at him made me want to cry. I had lost him forever. He'd never be able to accept what I'd done. Never. I sighed, and rolled onto my stomach, burying my face in the pillow. And tried to cry without moving.

Then I felt his weight on the bed, and he began rubbing my back. I cried harder. He shouldn't be doing this. Still loving me. Oh, I couldn't ever tell him...it would break his heart. And I couldn't bear to have him hate me like he would.

"Merna, are you alright? I'm sorry if I made you cry." He said, completely bewildered. Then his arms slid under me, and he held me to him. Just like he had back in Buckland, so long ago.

"Oh, Pippin, I'm so sorry." Was all I could say. And he shushed me, and just sat there, holding me, and rocking.

I felt horrible for hurting him like this. And what I was about to do wouldn't make it any better...

OOO

Soon after that, Pippin left me. Called away because his duties for the Steward. And I was glad. It made what I was about to do, that much easier. Now it was late, one of the bitter watches, and I carefully slid out of bed.

The time for tears was over, I realized that fully now. And I scolded myself for being so weak. I got myself into this situation, and I was going to get out.

But, oh this was difficult. Thoughts of Pippin swirling in my head, chased closely by thoughts of Frodo...the two people I loved most....But I couldn't dwell on that. Then I'd lose my nerve, and then where would I, I mean WE, be?...

I was still in my travel clothes, and when I checked my possessions, the food and the map were still there.

Then I went to the stables. I was going to need a horse, and a good one. If I was going to make a seven day ride in one piece.

The horses were dozing, but one whinnied loudly when I walked in. Shadowfax. He was a beauty. Black as pitch in this light, and kingly. I wished I could take him, but he was needed too badly.

So I wandered down the rows of stalls, looking for someone who would obey me, and be able to make the distance. I wished I had Clenna, or Bill even, or Brego. But I didn't. And I wouldn't.

In the end I chose a small and shaggy, but sturdy black horse. I spoke softly to him in all the elvish I knew, and maneuvered a huge saddle (to me, that is) onto his back. He whickered softly at me, and blew warm breath in my hair.

I knew then that I had made a good choice. I patted him lovingly, and decided to give him a name. Arathorn struck me suddenly, and it suited him.

"Your name shall be Arathorn. And you shall help me escape this nightmare." I said to him. He stared at me with large bark-brown eyes, and I climbed up. "I hope you're fast." I added, as I gripped his mane.

Then we walked as silent as possible through his open stall door, and out into the darkness. I nudged him gently and he began to trot, once more, and he galloped. I was on my way.

We disappeared into the night, naught but a fleeting shadow on the wind.

OOO

THREE DAYS LATER

It's cold at night in the wilds, with no one to love you, and tell you how to go on. Three days of torture, and I wasn't but halfway there. Arathorn proved steady, well mannered, and sturdy, like I had guessed. And he seemed to be okay with carrying around a tiny halfway pregnant hobbit on his back.

I looked at my map again, as I finished off half of an apple, and Arathorn lipped the rest of it out of my outstretched palm. I really didn't know where exactly I was. All I knew was that I had to stay next to the Anduin River, and keep going north. (Any guesses where she's going, o' LOTR fans?)

I began humming absentmindedly and scrambling onto Arathorn's back, I sent out a silent prayer of thanks, that all the orcs and nasties were gathering elsewhere...

THREE MORE DAYS LATER

Oh...I'm getting close now. I can tell, because most of this scenery looks familiar. Damn. I just remembered that I'm going to have to cross a river. Looking at the map again, I have just confirmed it.

It looks like a small one though. This Limlight River, but then again, it also looked like my ride should have taken me about an hour, instead of seven days. Ooh, I'm getting shivers now. And even though I have to spend one more night in the cold, and the unknown, it will be worth it.

But then again, praps I shall just ride throughout most of the night, and then I'll be there by morning. I'm sure Arathorn can handle it, and then he won't have to sleep wet, and on the ground. Yes, it's best to keep moving...

OOO

I am so tired, and stupid. I can guess it's about 12:30 (At night o' course) and I can barely stay a-horse (stupid rhyme). And on top of everything, it was not a small river. And I am practically soaked through. Arathorn is whiney, and tired too, and I don't give a flying squirrel if we get there next year at this point.....I just need some rest.

I stopped Arathorn about a little less than a quarter mile from the nearest trees...

Oh gawd, and now I have to go through all the trouble of unsaddling my horse...great.

But in the end, tired and shivering, I tuck myself in next to my rather large and horsy shadow. And try to sleep. Which turns out wasn't too hard, since I was out cold before my head hit my horse...

OOO

All too soon, there's light in my eyes, and when I open them, I am met with the sight of about five blonde haired elves. One is holding Arathorn's reigns, another is guarding my packs (as it would seem) and the last three were surrounding myself.

Damn. They all look like they just might be related to Legolas by the looks of things too...

"What do you want?" I asked quickly, standing up. If I was going to be captured again, this close to my goal, I was going to do something about it. But I noticed that they hadn't tied me up yet. That was something...

But they also seemed to be not intent on answering me. As they just laughed. Like idiot men...er.... Elves...

How typical.

Then they made to leave, leading away my horse with them.

"Hey! That's my horse!" I shouted. And they stopped, and turned around. I blushed stupidly.

"You are to be taken to the lady of the woods. She does not permit strangers in her lands. And she wishes to see who would be so foolish as to cross the Limlight river without our assistance....and live." One of them answered.

Ok then. Well, I'm glad that's out of the way. And at least they're going where I'm going this time....

OOO

As we walked, they didn't bother to blindfold me I noticed. Galadriel must know that it was me, and not just some stranger blundering around in HER forests.

Then I heard laughter in my mind, and I knew it was true...

OOO

About a zillion miles later we came to the same clearing I had so many months ago. My chaperones left me then, and dropped Arathorn's reigns. He walked back to me patiently, and leaned down to buffet my shoulder with his head. I landed on my bottom and he whickered at me.

Very funny you dumb animal. I smiled and patted his head when I got up. Then Galadriel strode up. She was barefoot and smiling. Arathorn left me and ran towards her like she was the best looking mare he had ever seen. And she laughed as she petted him.

"Welcome Merna."

I nodded. And my eyes clouded over. I swiped at them with the backs of my hands and smiled nervously. I didn't know what to say. Honestly, I had really never expected to get this far. I sniffed, and inhaled.

"Your horse is beautiful. He reminds me of someone..." She continued, looking at me from over his back.

"Arathorn." I said, in answer to her question.

She nodded and smiled at me. "Yes. He reminds me of Arathorn. He is kingly. But I know you did not travel all the miles from Minas Tirith to talk horseflesh with me, small one."

I swallowed a half sob. "No...I'm sorry but....but...I...I can't...I..." I took another deep breath, but the words still wouldn't come.

"Oh, it is alright." She said, and then she was kneeling in front of me, embracing me.

"I've done something....hor..hor...horrible." I managed to say. My tears were landing on her salt white dress. Spotting it grey.

"No. You have only done what would've been done regardless." She said, pulling away from me, and taking hold of my eyes with her sky blue ones.

"I would've had you gaze upon the mirror. But you would not. It was there, Merna, you would've seen it. But you may still not have believed it." She continued.

"You mean I was destined to ruin Pippin's life, and Frodo's, and my own, and this baby's?" I wailed.

"You have not ruined anything. You have just created another beginning. You have chosen the more formidable path." She continued, a gossamer line grazing the inside of her forehead...her only sign of aging I could see...

"But I can't do this. I can't, not alone, not by myself. And who will love me now? Now that I've created all this sadness, this sorrow in everyone?" I almost screamed, tears streaming down my face, unchecked, and unnoticed.

"Your child will love you Merna; to the fullness that any child can love its mother." And she shook me very gently, still searing within me with her piercing blue eyes.

"Sorrow fills the hearts of many.... Thisevent wasnot only your fault." She said to me, almost urgently, and her hands on my shoulders then, were bracing me now.

I looked at her stunned, as I buckled to the ground, my knees slamming on the stone. And her words resonated within my mind, over and over again...........................

"Sorrow Fills the Hearts of Many"

FIN

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Author: And this is the END Kitties. I kid you not. I'm also sorry for the shock that this is causing some of you...but it had to be done. Thanx for all the reviews (over 100, yea!). I hope you enjoyed my story, or, Merna's, really. And Please make your last reviews good (some positve comments maybe) because I want this to go out with a BANG!

You can look forMerna's sequel VURY soon titled: 'This Diamond by Any Other Name'.(TDBAON)And if I get some good reviews on these last chappies, I'll post a chap for TDBAON right-o-way. Its been fun kitties, ttyl! And fond farewells to all!

And May BrandyBuck, please sign in (before last review), or email me. I'd like to get to know someone who likes my story so much! (your reviews were highly apprecitated) then I will dedicate my first chapter of TDBAON to you!

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