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Timeline: Accidents Will Happen, rewritten to my liking. Although, I wouldn't say it is necessary to have watched AWH to understand this chapter. Spoiler warning: This contains spoilers for the episode 'Accidents Will Happen'. At some points I even quote from AWH shamelessly, so it includes direct dialogue. But mostly, its only a general adaptation. I've changed a lot. Especially the dialogue in certain places.
A/N: I don´t know when Emma´s birthday is. Do you? Also, I've written another ridiculously long two chapter segment on one episode. But at least AWH was a two-parter so I feel less bad. Yeah, but this chapter is long. It comes in at 7,618 words. Oh, by the way, the gymnastics team that came out of NOWHERE? I'm cutting it out.
My Charming Man Chapter Three: Love is No Accident Part I
You say, "Can't you ever just forgive?"
Well, that's a mighty big word
for such a small man
And I don't think I can
Cause I don't even know now
who I am
Its to soon for me to say, "forgive"
Sean walked through the hallways, determined and single minded. Other students mingled around him, talking and laughing, but his mind was only focused on Emma. Getting to Emma.
"Where's the fire, Cameron?" Someone called out to him as he zoomed past them, but Sean wouldn't have been able to tell you who.
Then, he saw her and his breath caught in his throat.
A dreamy, half-awake smile played on her lips as she pulled the books out of her locker. Her hair flowed down her back in shiny, blond tresses that curled at the ends. Sean couldn't remember ever noticing the color of a girl's shirt before, but in that moment he noticed the deep blue of her t-shirt made her hair look like spun gold. Even from feet away her skin looked soft, the type you could spend hours dancing your fingers across.
Finding the courage, Sean began to close the small space between them. Sean could feel the sticky gleam of sweat on his palms and he marveled that one girl could so easily undo him.
"Emma," he said as he came to stand beside her, trying to keep his voice casual. But this was the girl who had lied to Raditch for him. This was the girl that his heart skipped a beat for each time he saw her.
He waited for her eyes to turn towards him and for him to find the unwavering cold of their glare. Or for her to biting tell him to get lost, not even bothering to turn in his direction.
Yet, when Emma turned to look at him he found a smile on her face. More shockingly, it was a smile directed at him. "Sean! Hey! What took you so long? I was waiting for you!"
Sean's stomach jumped. "You were?"
Emma's smile grew. "Of course, silly! You're my big strong, Honeybee!"
"I wasn't aware that I was your anything." Sean scratched his head. "Not for lack of trying on my part."
"Sean, you're my everything! I don't care about what you did. We all make mistakes. I'd be completely making the biggest letting you go again."
Sean hesitated a moment, then took a risk and reached out his hand to take Emma's in his own. As her hand willingly slid into his own he was shocked by the rightness of it. At how magically it seemed that her fingers matched with his own.
Emma smiled mischievously, pulling him closer by their interlocked hands.
Sean jumped in shock as he came only inches away from Emma, the span between his body and her own so miniscule that he could feel her body heat.
Emma smiled slyly at him before bringing meeting his lips with her own.
It was the softest of kisses, merely a grazing of his own lips across hers. But it jolted him to his core, the brief touch of her lips on his. Had he ever really been kissed by someone other than Emma? If he had, he couldn't remember.
When the fog in Sean's head cleared he found Emma peering at him, her face open and mesmerizing. She pulled him to her again, this time in a hug. Her lips were inches from his ear as she whispered, "I love you, Sean. You're my ski cap wearing God!"
Sean wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes to savor the moment.
"Now, get up!"
Sean pulled back, startled by the strange dip in Emma's voice.
"What?"
"Get up! Sean, you're going to be late."
"Emma, what the hell are you talking about?"
Suddenly Sean felt cold air wash over him, feeling as though a cocoon of warmth had been stripped from around his body. He looked at Emma helplessly, her face now a mask of disapproval. Words were coming out of her mouth but they were slow moving, and her voice was manipulated into a low tenor.
"Sean....get....up.."
Sean shot up in bed, his eyes panicked and confused. It took him a moment to adjust to the atmosphere around him, his head still cloudy from his dream.
He looked to his bed stand for his alarm clock, but found it missing. Trailing his eyes across the floor he saw it unplugged and thrown into a corner. I guess I did that in my sleep, Sean thought with a silent laugh.
Looking to the front of the bed he saw Tracker holding his missing blanket wadded up in his hands. His jaw was in a tight line as he said, "Sean, get a move on. You're going to be late." Tracker threw the blanket back at Sean, then headed for the door as he said. "And I ain't driving you."
"Yeah. Thanks," Sean replied as Tracker closed the door behind him.
Sean moved to sit on the side of the bed, rubbing his hands across his eyes to try and become more alert. Yet, his mind was still caught on his dream. It had seemed so real. Well, minus the part where Emma forgave me, willing accepted me back into her life, and called me her ski cap wearing God, Sean decided silently.
He ignored the part of his mind that laughed at him and said, "Basically all of it."
Sean grunted as he stood up and moved to his dresser, the image of Emma smiling at him and saying she forgave him playing in his mind over and over again. Sean pulled out a bundle of clothing he had worn earlier that week as a voice said, What you need to do, Cameron, is figure out how to make Emma forgive you.
Sean shook his head as he slipped his clothes on. "You don't make Emma Nelson do anything." He wasn't sure he had ever said a more true thing. "You try and you end up with one angry blonde on your hands. Before you know it, she's spouting about feminism and independence and its a big thing."
On the other side of the door Tracker knocked then called, "Did you say something, Sean?"
"What?" Sean said, jumping as he was broken out of his ramble. "No! What do you want?"
Sean could hear the laughter in his brother's voice as he said, "Easy, brother. I was just walking by and heard you having a grand old time talking to yourself."
"I wasn't talking to myself!"
"Whatever," Tracker said, his voice fading off as he walked away.
Sean picked his ski cap off the ground, giving it a small shake. He slid it onto his head before grabbing his sneakers and heading over to his bed. As Sean sat down and tied the laces to his shoes he started thinking, a habit he was sure had rubbed off of Emma and annoyingly onto him.
The last week had flipped what had been his world for the last few months on its head, leaving Sean reeling a bit. Now, Monday morning, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to act. The friends he had dropped everything for, destroyed himself for, were gone. And the girl he thought he had left behind for them was now the only thing he wanted.
Some would call it poetic justice, Cameron.
As his thoughts continued on, Sean couldn't help but groan when he thought of the past weekend. Emma had dodged, sidestepped, and outright avoided him at every turn. Even when he had been over her house all of Sunday afternoon working on Snake's car, Emma had some how managed to evaporate into thin air.
Too bad Raditch had some lame Principles convention this weekend, Sean thought in disgruntlement. At least in detention I would have been able to see Emma.
On that note Sean couldn't help but laugh at himself. He could almost hear Jay's sneering remark. "Get a grip, Cameron. No piece of ass is worth going batty over."
Before Sean went out the door of his room he grabbed the $2.55 off of his dresser and put it in his pocket to give to Emma later that day. As he mumbled a goodbye to Tracker before heading off to school, he heard what his own reply to Jay would be loud and clear within his own mind: She's worth it.
xXx
The school was bustling in that way it only did early in the morning. Students with bleary eyes and sleep laden thoughts scattered the grounds, talking about the test they were going to fail or the homework that took them three hours to complete. The feeling was the exact opposite of the one felt at the end of the long school day, when their minds were sharp and their thoughts dwelled on whatever event they had deemed a mishap.
Emma Nelson loved sitting on the steps outside of the school, watching all the other students file in during the morning rush. The air always had that early hours tinge of cold that was awakening to the senses and if she searched for it hard enough there was this moment where everything made sense.
"Hey, Em."
Emma jumped, turning around and then smiling in relief when she found JT's goofy grin staring down at her. Although she had developed Sean radar, she wouldn't put it past him to find some way to sneak up on her. "Hey JT!"
JT plopped down on the step above the one she was sitting on. "So, whatcha' doin' ? Plotting to save the whales?"
"You know, I´m not always trying to save the whales." Emma smiled good naturedly. "Sometimes, I even try to save other endangered species."
"Now, that´s why Sean loves you. You´re just full of surprises," JT quipped.
Emma rolled her eyes, swatting him playfully on the shoulder. "Sean doesn´t love me."
Although, Emma had to admit he was rather persistent in his new pursuit of her. She, no matter how much they might need the extra help around the house, was not enjoying it. Emma wasn't sure she had ever spent more time on a Sunday afternoon locked in her room staring at the ceiling. By the time Sean had finally left she had needed to go to the bathroom for nearly two hours. Yes, if Emma could have kicked herself for taunting Sean into proving it she would have.
Stupid boy, Emma thought with displeasure.He's always getting me to do stupid things! Its him! He, like, makes me bring myself down to his level or something.
"Oh, really." JT said, his voice breaking into Emma's inner rant. JT sat up straighter, making what he would probably consider a 'tough guy' pose. "Oh, Emma...You are the only thing is this life I can´t live without. Please, forgive me for being a jackass. And for always wearing that stupid hat. I´ll do anything you want. I´ll even do JT´s homework for a week, if only you would ask."
Emma couldn't help but laugh, even if it was slightly at her own expense. "Dream on, JT!"
"Come on, Em! Inquiring minds want to know! When are you going to take him back?"
"I´m not! Its over." Even Emma didn't feel convinced by her own voice. Emma was silently more than a little annoyed that the two days away from Sean, one of which spent hiding out in her room, hadn't completely eradicated her topsy-turvy feelings for him. Okay, so they hadn't been eradicated even a bit but there was no need to be picky. At least the weekend had given her new resolve towards the entire situation.
Complete new resolve. Emma Nelson was done with Sean Cameron. The next time she saw him she would tell him exactly where to go. Then, she would be perfectly content and happy with her life when he did leave her alone. She wouldn't be sad. Not a bit.
"Right. Like it was over last year," Toby said as he joined in the conversation, sitting down on the same step as JT. "Face it, Emma. You two getting back together is inevitable.' Toby made a dopey face, his voice dipping into a low coo. "Oh, Sean. Of course I´ll take you back. You´re my Seany-Wanny."
JT laughed, happy that someone else wanted to play his game. "Emma! I knew this day would come. Let me take you away to my trailer home in the sky, where we can live happily ever unlikely after. My love."
"Ha ha." Emma's amusement had officially dried up following her own thoughts. "Can we talk about something else?"
"Alright." JT´s face become serious. "How´s Mr. Simpson doing?"
Toby´s smile fell as well, his eyes turning grave. "Yeah, how is he doing? I heard a rumor that..."
"He´s fine." Emma forced a smile on her face as the warning bell for homeroom rang. "Just fine."
Before JT or Toby could ask more Emma got up off the stairs and headed inside, mumbling that she needed to get to homeroom. JT and Toby exchanged worried glances before also getting up off the steps and heading into the school. They didn´t say anything as they walked through the hallways together, but they shared the same exact thought.
Right, he´s as fine as you are .
xXx
Mr. Evans brimmed with excitement over the new assignment, even as the rest of the class made faces. "This history assignment will allow us to expand upon the topics we've been discussing in class!"
Liberty raised her hand with a disgruntled expression on her face.
Mr. Evans sighed. Liberty always found a reason to raise her hand. "Yes, Liberty."
"How long will we have to complete the project?"
"Until next Friday."
"Do we have to work in pairs?"
"Yes, Liberty," Mr. Evans said, his voice losing a bit of its cheerful glow.
Liberty frowned. "Well, who is my partner? What is are project on?"
"You´ll be researching 1958 with," Mr. Evans looked through his notes, "Sean Cameron."
JT visibly sighed, looking up to the ceiling as though he was finally making peace with God.
Liberty opened her mouth to ask a question but Mr. Evans held up his hand and began to read out the names of other project pairs.
Sean ignored the glares of contempt Liberty kept shooting his way and instead focused on listening closely for Emma´s name and who she was paired with.
Is it too much to ask that God cut me a break, Sean grumbled to himself. What did JT ever do for him? Yes, the truth was that Emma wasn't looking at him anymore like she wanted to beat him over the head with a blunt object. Instead, she had this slightly panicked look that was laced with this small trace of inner turmoil. The problem was Sean wasn't sure what look was worse.
When Sean had handed her the $2.55 in homeroom earlier that day Emma had looked as though she had wanted to toss it back in his face. But she hadn't. Instead she had taken a deep breath, pocketed the money, and then turned away from him. Emma had looked so lost and helpless he hadn't even tried to say word to her.
Sean heard Emma´s name and then groaned when he heard the one following it. While JT was still counting his blessings, Sean was feeling screwed over. Three times.. First, he had to work with Liberty. Liberty. Second, he didn´t get to work with Emma. And third, Chris got to work with Emma.
Even worse was the voice in the back of his mind, ever becoming louder and more persistent. The one that kept repeatedly telling him, You can't apologize forever.
xXx
Emma wasn't a big fan of gym class nowadays, which was strange because she considered herself an athletic individual. For the last few weeks they had been using gymnastics equipment during their classes. Normally she would appreciate the opportunity to move and the break from a day where most of her time was spent sitting at a desk. But now, when most of her energy was focused on her thoughts, it was a trial to participate in even the smallest physical activity.
Coming up to the balance beam Emma forced herself to think about gymnastics and her gym class. Perhaps the truth was Emma hadn't been putting any focus on much of anything over the last three weeks. She was pretty sure her schoolwork was suffering, even as she tried to keep a smile on her face.
But how am I supposed to be fine when Snake is dying a little more everyday, Emma thought desperately. She played up the part of Emma Nelson, but the truth was it was becoming tiring.And now I have to worry about all of this with Sean.
Emma quieted her mind, pulling herself up to a standing position on the balance beam. Somehow the world came to a standstill and she forced everything to fade away till there was nothing but the beam and herself. Somehow she became flowing, unstoppable grace.
When Emma finally stopped, jumping down from the balance beam, she had the gaping faces of most of her gym class looking at her. Then to her astonishment they began to clap and cheer.
Ms. Hatzilakos came over, smiling excitedly. "Emma, that was wonderful! I had no idea you had it in you. Next year there's going to be a gymnastics team. You should really think about joining."
"I'll think about it."
"Great. We really need gymnasts like you."
Ms. Hatzilakos kept speaking to her but whatever burst of attention Emma had been given faded away just as suddenly as it had come. Now, Emma's eyes were focused on the door that she saw another one of her classmates running towards. The girl's eyes were bulging and watery, with her hand clutched over her mouth. Just the other day Kendra had also dashed out and to the bathroom, hand over her mouth. The stomach flu, it seemed, was working its way through the entire Degrassi population.
Emma's eyes wandered to Ms. Hatzilakos again, only to find her gone. Emma saw Manny on the balance beam out of the corner of her eye and frowned, thinking about English class earlier that day for the first time. Manny had run out of class, looking as pale as Kendra had the other day. Now the question was if Manny was also sick.
Emma stood there, halfway between going over to talk to Manny and just letting it be. Manny had once been her best friend, but that seemed almost a lifetime ago. Yet, still she found her feet covering the ground between her and Manny until she stood in front of her.
Manny didn't break her stride on the balance beam, instead continuing an assault of off-balance flips and shaky moves. Emma knew Manny was better than how she was performing, better than she herself was, yet what she saw on the balance beam was sloppy work at best. Yet, Manny kept trying to land the perfect flip as though she was trying to prove to herself that she was better than Emma.
"You are you know," Emma finally said, causing Manny to stop and look down at her from the balance beam.
"What?" Manny asked, confused.
"Better than I am. You don't have to prove it. Everyone knows you're the best, Manny. They were just surprised to see me pull off a half decent routine."
Manny jumped off the balance beam so that she was eye to eye with Emma. "I have to prove that I deserve to be the captain of the gymnastics team next year."
"You already are captain, Manny. You know, I know it, and so does Ms. H."
A flash of vulnerability came over Manny's face and for a minute she was the Manny that Emma had known for nearly her entire life. "You really think so?"
"Completely."
Manny smiled smugly. "Well, of course. I mean, who else would it be, right?"
"Right." Emma paused for a second. "Manny, I saw you run out of English earlier today. If you're sick, you should lay off the gymnastics before you get hurt."
Manny shrugged, walking over to the bleachers to grab her water as Emma followed behind. "It was nothing. Besides, who made you my mother."
"I´m just concerned.' Emma began to turn in the direction of Ms. H. "She should know if you aren't feeling well."
Manny grabbed Emma´s arm. "Please, Emma. My life sucks right now. I don´t have anything else. If I'm not out here someone might catch her eye. I-I don't just want to be captain next year. I need to be. Please. It was just something I ate, I'm all better now. Really."
Emma didn´t believe her excuse, but she heard the desperate plea in Manny´s voice. Emma turned back to Manny and gave an almost imperceptible nod.
Manny´s face lit up with a relieved smile. She went to say something but Ms. Hatzilakos cut her off.
"Manny! Why don´t you come show us all how its really done?"
Manny fluttered past Emma, not sparing a backward glance as she headed for the balance beam. This time, Manny was nearly perfect on the beam as she gained back her confidence. Her movements were ones to be envied. As Emma watched her one time best friend, she couldn´t stop herself from thinking about the irony of it all.
If there had been one thing Emma was sure of a few months ago, it had been her unwavering friendship with Manny Santos. In the naivety of a still looming overhead childhood and an inborn innocent that sometimes made her see the world more optimistically than perhaps she should, Emma had believed it was unshakable. There had just been no question, Manny and her would be friends till the day they died.
It still jolted Emma sometimes when she saw Manny across the room, like now, and realized they were utterly and completely separate from each other. That a civilized word here or there is all they really had left to offer to one another.
Anything more was to far from reach.
Sometimes when Emma was upset she would pick up the phone at her house and instinctively start to dial Manny's number before putting it down in realization. Or she would start the all too familiar path to Manny's locker at lunch time before stopping in her tracks, remember that they didn't have lunch together anymore.
They didn't do anything together anymore.
xXx
Gym class was over and the sweat smelling locker room was nearly empty, most of the other girls having changed and headed off to lunch.
Manny came up behind Emma, touching her arm. "Em?" Emma turned around, a questioning expression on her face. "I-I heard about Mr. Simpson. About him being in the hospital. I´m sorry."
Emma smiled reassuringly, pushing away her own doubts. "Its okay. Its more intense chemo and its actually better for him. "
Manny looked at Emma with admiration. "Its amazing that you're just here and getting on with everything."
"You know me, I wouldn't know how to slow down if someone gave me written instructions."
Manny smiled as she looked at Emma. "So, what's the deal with you and Sean?"
Oh, she just had to say the 'S' word, Emma thought in disgruntlement. "There is no deal."
"Right. He's only been following you around like a puppy for, like, two weeks now," Manny commented as the last person besides Manny and Emma left.
Emma sighed. "I don't know. He's got it into his head that he wants me back or something. I think he's actually lost it. Now Chris won't talk to me and its a big mess."
Manny looked surprise. "So, what, you don't want him back?"
"No, I don´t want him back! Who told you I wanted him back? Because I don´t. Want him. Back, that is. Its over. Completely over. We're done. And I don't want him back," Emma finished lamely.
"Right. When have I heard that before?"
"I mean it, okay? I don't want anything to do with him." I don't, Emma added to herself silently.
Manny laughed, wearing her goofy 'hopeless romantic' grin on her face. "If you say so. But I heard that you took a dive for him and got a Saturday detention with Raditch. That's like so romantic!"
"That's not what happened! Completely."
"So, how did it go?' Emma looked at her, clueless. "The detention with your love?"
"He's not my love! Don't call him that! And it didn´t happen. At least, not this Saturday. Raditch had some thing to do this weekend, a lame conference or something. But this weekend is the wonderful day. Me and Sean in a room for hours on end. Alone, with my luck. Its the things dreams are made of."
"Sounds like fun." The strange thing was, Manny sounded like she meant it.
Just then Hazel came in, looking slightly flustered. "Do either of you have a tampon? I have a major emergency!"
Emma looked into her bag before turning back to Hazel apologetically. "Sorry. I forgot to stock up."
Manny smiled, whipping a tampon out of her bag. "Oh, I have one! I haven't used mine in forever."
Emma's mind repeated those words. I haven´t used mine in forever.
"Oh, thanks Manny! You're a lifesaver."
Hazel gratefully took the extended tampon from Manny´s hand before rushing back out of the room. The entire time, Emma´s questioning eyes remained on Manny.
Manny shifted uncomfortably underneath Emma´s scrutinizing gaze. "What? Do I have something on my face?"
"Manny, I know this is totally none of my business," Emma began hesitantly, "but you were sick earlier. And... Are you sure its not something else?"
Something close to shock washed over Manny's face before a hard mask fell across her features. "You're right, it is none of your business."
Emma rolled her eyes. "But, you can ask me all the questions you want about me and Sean, right?"
"You know what, Em," Manny said, gathering all of her things. "Just stay out of everyone's business. Especially mine."
Even before Manny headed out the door and gave one last parting glare, she seemed to Emma to be a million miles away.
xXx
The next day in homeroom Emma didn't even blink when Sean came and sat beside her. It was commonplace now for Sean to always take the closest available seat to her and Emma had long since given up fighting it. With her stepfather still in the hospital and a million other jumbling thoughts swirling within her, Emma couldn't muster the strength to fight with Sean either.
"Hey," Sean said, his voice hoarse as though he had only awoken a handful of minutes before. Emma squelched the thought that said his scratchy, morning voice should be bottled and marketed.
"Hello, Sean," Emma said, her tone not as callous as usual. She looked at him and couldn´t help it when her heart sped up a bit. Was it wrong to push away all the dark thoughts for just a second?, Emma argued to herself. To find a little bit of comfort in his smile?
"Well, that's an improvement on 'Sean, go away'," he said, twisting the last three words into a high pitch.
Emma gave an exaggerated frown, allowing herself to fall into a playful mood. Needing to fall into a playful mood. "I don't really sound like that, do I?"
Sean smiled. "Nah. Much cuter."
"That's good to know," Emma said, smiling back at him.
"I think I should take a picture," Sean joked. "You're actually smiling at me."
"Well, don't get used to it," Emma mumbled, but she still continued to smile.
"I like it when you smile," Sean confessed, looking at her with a soft expression. For whatever reason they seemed to have fallen into a small truce. Sean decided it was perfect for asking something he had been wondering recently. "So, how's Mr. Simpson doing?"
Emma frowned, and Sean wished he could put the smile back on her face. "He's okay. The chemo is rough, but he's sticking in there. I don't think he likes being in the hospital but...You know Snake, he's telling corny jokes at every turn. Fighting hard and hanging in there."
"That's good to know." Sean meant it.
Emma fought it but couldn't help acknowledging how right it felt to be talking with Sean. With no angry, hurtful words cutting every moment between them into pieces. To be joking and laughing with each other, and finding a lost amount of comfort ability. It was almost like they were friends again.
No, Emma thought forcefully, we were never friends. This is not leading anywhere good.
Sean was just getting used to her not shooting daggers at him with her eyes when suddenly she wasn't so pleasant anymore. Her mouth spread into a hard line and she got that expression on her face that he was getting very used to. The one that said she was about to say something biting and sharp; something that was going to sting like all hell.
"Yeah," Emma said in a clipped tone. "He hardly even misses his alien ware laptop with that piece of crap my mom bought him laying around. But, you already knew that. I mean, you're the one who stole it from a sick man."
Sean was confused, not understanding how she could so quickly turn from nuke warm back to icy cold. The way she ping-ponged up and down was enough to drive anyone crazy, and Sean was slowly learning he was no exception.
She's worth it, he told himself even as he felt his gut clench at her cold stare.
xXx
Three periods later, Sean's day hadn't gotten any better. Emma, it seems, had decided she needed to make up for even showing him the smallest amount of civility. He had thought her cold eyes and harsh words couldn't get any worse, but he had been very wrong.
But Emma had only been the worst of his problems. He had accidentally blown off his Math assignment, had stubbed his toe on his desk chair in second period, and had nearly fallen asleep in his last class thereby inviting the wrath of Mrs. Kwan.
Sean wasn't exactly sure why but he was beginning to believe Emma was at that heart of all this. She put a curse on me, Sean thought as he walked down the hallway. I know it!
"Oh, look! If it isn't the environmental chick's new lapdog," Sean heard from behind him as he walked down the hallway. "Or...is that old lapdog."
Sean stopped and turned around to come face to face with the guy he had once stupidly considered a friend. And I thought my day couldn't get any worse. "Jay."
Jay smirked, sharing an amused look with Towerz and Alex. "I was thinking about buying you a collar. You know, to celebrate you goin' back to the old ball and chain." Jay made like he was looking around. "By the way, where is the little bi---" Jay suddenly thought better of his words as he looked at Sean, "blonde? I want to give her my congrats on being so manipulative that you don't even get it!"
Sean gritted his teeth. "Be careful...what you say about Emma."
"Or what?" Jay laughed. "You'll look at me the wrong way?"
Sean took a step closer to Jay. "I might hit you the wrong way."
"I doubt it. Your girlfriend wouldn't like it. And its all about getting her to like you, isn't it? Following her around, making sure dirt doesn't touch her polished white shoes." Jay sneered in disgust, looking at Sean condescendingly. "You used to be hardcore. Now look at you! You're pathetic, Cameron."
You're pathetic. He had heard that one before, but coming from Jay it lacked an effective sting.
"I'd rather be pathetic than be someone you would hang out with," Sean said snapped back.
Jay shoved past him, heading down the hall with his own faithful bunch of lapdogs trailing after him. Sean clenched his fists by his side, grinding his teeth together. She's worth it, he repeated in his mind like a sacred mantra. She's worth it.
xXx
Liberty dumped a stack of books on the table and Sean just barely stifled a groan.
"Is there a book left on the shelf?"
"Funny." Liberty look at him, disgruntled. " There is actually an abundance of books on our topic. I could go get more if you would like?"
"No. Really." Sean pulled a couple books closer to him. "These...seven are great."
"Okay, so I was thinking we could start..." Liberty began, but trailed off as she focused on something that had fallen within her line of version.
Sean turned around and rolled his eyes when he realized Liberty was gazing at JT. Surprise, Surprise. Snapping his fingers in front of her face to get her attention again, he said, "Can we try to concentrate. I don´t exactly want to spend my entire afternoon stuck in this library with you."
Liberty turned back to Sean, her eyes hazy. "Huh?"
Sean couldn't help but laugh. "Why don´t you give it up?"
"So, it hasn´t worked out in the past. That doesn´t mean it won´t in the future," Liberty said, stubbornly refusing to see the truth.
"Liberty, I think its time you came face to face with the real world. You and JT? Not gonna happen. There is no future. " Liberty´s jaw tightened as her eyes glazed over, making Sean suddenly feel very guilty. "Look, if you´re too busy waiting for JT to notice you then you´ll never be noticed. Move on. You'll feel a lot better."
Liberty inched her chair a bit closer to Sean. "Move on," she said, a self-pleased smile appearing on her face. "I think I like the sound of that."
"Good," Sean said, not noticing the way Liberty was suddenly looking at him. "Now, let´s see what we can come up with for our assignment. I was thinking..."
He stopped talking as his eyes wandered over to the corner where he was startled to find Emma and Chris in the corner huddled over a stack of books and talking in quiet voices. Liberty and their project faded off as he became fixated on Chris and the way he watched Emma moved.
Wasn´t he supposed to hate Emma now? Sean wondered in annoyance. He wasn´t acting like he hated Emma. Not in the least. In fact, Sean really didn´t like the way his shoulder kept brushing against Emma´s or how he was leaning over just then to read a passage in the same book as her.
"The project is over here, Cameron!" Liberty snapped, in a voice that nearly imitated his own minutes before.
Sean dragged his gaze back to Liberty, who was staring at him disapprovingly. "What?"
"We have an assignment to do, Cameron. I suggest you start paying attention."
"Right. Like you were five minutes ago?"
Liberty smiled smugly as she shot a glance at Emma and Chris. "You should just give up while you´re ahead. Move on. I know this must be difficult to hear---"
"Are you kidding me?" Sean laughed. 'Liberty, me and Emma are not the same as you and JT."
"Really?" Liberty shook her head while mumbling to herself, "And people say I can't take a hint."
xXx
Emma was started to become amazed at how quickly her legs could move when she really wanted them to. Rushing out of the library and through the school, she was again running away as fast as possible from Sean Cameron without actually running. She didn´t even take the time to stop at her locker, instead hoping she had the right assortment of books in her bag.
What had Sean been doing there anyway?, Emma thought with a frustrated groan. Well, of course he had been working on his project. She knew that. But did he have to pick the library to work in and did it have to be at the same time she was there?
She had tried not to notice Sean sitting at the table with Liberty, keeping her gaze carefully averted. Yet, in between trying to figure out what had turned Chris around and actually working on their project, she had stolen a countless amount of hidden glances.
Emma walked out the door of the school, hoping Sean still had some things to finish up with Liberty before heading out. Emma saw two familiar figures sitting off to the side and slowed down her furious pace to get a better look.
What are Craig and Manny doing together?, Emma thought in puzzlement. Whatever was occurring between them seemed to be very serious. Manny looked like she was about to cry and Craig had an expression on his face Emma wasn´t quite sure she had ever seen before.
Emma nearly stopped to ask what was wrong but chastised herself quietly. With a shrug Emma continued on her way home, thoughts of Sean hammering through her mind.
xXx
When Sean came out of the school, Emma was long gone. She had left the library nearly a half an hour after Chris had headed home, following a lengthy goodbye in the doorway near his table. How many times could some say they didn't want to be walked home?, Sean had wondered.
Sean had hoped to be able to catch Emma on the way out, but he had been stuck in the library with Liberty for nearly another hour. Sean shifted the backpack on his shoulder, already feeling the three large textbooks taking their toil.
Sean saw Craigsitting off to the side, a contemplative expression on his face. Sean hesitated for a second before deciding to head over. "Hey, Craig! What´s up?"
Craig blinked, looking at Sean in confusion. "Sean? What are you doing here?"
"Schoolwork,' Sean answered simply.
"You do schoolwork? I mean, cool," Craig amended, nodding his head. "I was just...trying to decide if I know how to not screw up my life."
"What?' Sean asked, sitting down beside Craig.
"You have this idea on how things are. Or, like, how they should be?" Craig laughed, thought he didn't look amused. "You...you think you have everything all neatly boxed away. But you don´t. You really don´t, you know. But what if...What if someone could give you something, and they´re not sure they want to give it to you? But it could, like, make things different."
Sean was trying but he was having a hard time following. "Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?'
"No. Don't worry about it. Its...Nothing. Nothing," Craig said, shrugging. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair at his let out a small groan. "Forget I mentioned it."
Sean nodded. "So...you´re okay?'
"Yeah. I'm great." Craig laughed sardonically. "I'm just great! Frickin' great!"
"Cool," Sean said, not believing him but knowing there was nothing he could do.
"So, how about you?" Craig thought for a second, looking at Sean. "God, I haven't talk to you in like forever. Did you get Emma to take you back yet?"
Sean couldn't help but laugh, even if it was a tad nervously. "Does everyone know about that?"
"Yeah. Yeah, pretty much."
"I´m the locker room whipping boy, aren´t I?'
"Oh, definitely." Craig patted Sean's shoulder. "But don't worry! You're our favorite whipping boy!"
"Great. That´s great," Sean said miserably. Clenching his fists at his side, he held onto the three words that had been sustaining him: She's worth it.
"So, you´re okay?" Craig said, echoing back Sean's own words.
Craig and Sean both knew neither of them was okay, but saying it wouldn't do anything. They both understand without having to say a word.
"Yeah. I'm fine."
Craig nodded in understanding. "Cool."
The two sat in companionable silence till the sun began to set.
xXx
The following day Emma was scanning the crowded lunch room for an empty table she could sequester herself at, preferably away from Sean. She was about to head over to a dark corner when Ashley's loud voice caused a hush in the lunch room.
Emma watched on as Ashley's eyes blazed with fire while Manny and Craig looked like a pair of mischievous children that had been caught and trapped into a corner.
"These two idiots? Are pregnant," Ashley snarled out. "Because it is so difficult to use a condom."
Manny rushed out of the lunchroom as Ashley continued to stare down Craig. Ashley whispered one more thing to Craig before storming off and away from Craig. Craig, for his part, sat there stunned.
"Emma!" Sean said, tapping on her shoulder to get her attention.
Emma didn't look at him as she said, "Sean."
"Crazy, huh? I can't believe Manny would do that."
Emma looked in the direction Manny had run just a minute before. "I can." Emma shook her head. "I-I mean, I can't believe it either."
"Yeah."
Suddenly JT and Toby came up beside where Sean was standing, Toby looking mildly interested and JT looking at Emma with a desperate expression on his face.
"Em, that's not true. Right? That was just Ashley completely losing whatever sanity she had after the initial break-up?"
"Hey, Ashley's not crazy," Toby piped in, defending his quasi-stepsister. "She's just dealing with hormones or whatever it is that makes females flippy."
"Right, hormones. Crazy hormones," JT said, rolling his eyes. "So, about Manny..."
Emma sighed, beginning to move away from them. She finally cast a glance at Sean who looking more concerned about her for some reason than he was about anyone involved in the situation.
"I have to go after her," Emma stated, pointing in the direction Manny had run through earlier. She gave JT a pitying look before beginning to walk away, saying over her shoulder as she went, "I'll see you all later."
When Emma entered the bathroom she nearly bumped into Paige and Terri who were on their way out. She didn't spare them a glance, however. Her concern was all for Manny.
"Manny?" she called out, as the door slowly closed shut. "Manny, I know you're in here."
A stall door swung open to reveal a disheveled and crying Manny. She laughed bitterly. "Go ahead and say it, Em! Say I screwed up! Go ahead! Its what you're thinking, right? You and like everybody."
"No. I'm thinking you and Craig screwed up!" Emma saw another tear roll down Manny's cheek and softened her voice. "I wish you could have talked to me about it, Manny."
"I-I wish I could have to," Manny said hoarsely. "But its not like you wanted to hear about me and Craig!"
"Well, I'm listening now." Emma smiled sympathetically at Manny. Something occurred to Emma in that small sliver of a moment. Even with everything that lay between them, every way they had changed and every cruel word they had said, she still knew Manny better than she would ever know most people. Manny was still her best friend, there was no former about it. She just was. "I have to meet Chris after school to work on our project. Then, I'm babysitting Jack when I get home. But, why don't you come over?"
"I told Craig---"
"You can bring Craig if you want," Emma said, cutting Manny off.
Manny bit her lip before nodding her head hesitantly. An understanding look passed between them, one that said so many things they were holding back. Emma felt old, festering wounds from the fallout of their friendship finally began to heal.
Emma kicked herself mentally as she couldn't help but wonder why it was impossible for it to be as simple for her and Sean. As Manny continued to smile at Emma gratefully a voice answered back, Because nothing between the two of you has ever been simple.
xXx
To be continued...
Chapter four note: For all of you wondering how much more Sean could possibly subject himself to, this is all pretty much building up some things that are going to go down in chapter five.
A/N: Story name will be changed to 'Charming Emma Nelson". 'AWH' rewrite to be continued in the next chapter. Also, I'm playing with doing a secondary pairing in this story. If you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know!