Disclaimer: I own nothing of Degrassi... I do, however, own lots of CD's, but I don't own the bands or songs themselves... got it?

Recap: Ellie got dumped. She was gonna cut, but Ashley stopped her.

(Ashley's POV)

"...thought she was pregnant," he finished.

What the hell? Craig got her pregnant?!

Before I had time to clearly process it Spinner nodded towards me, and I started running... I knew I wasn't supposed to hear that, I wasn't in their little group of "friends." I wasn't in the know or anything.

"Ash!" a voice called from behind me. It was Paige.

"What, Paige?" I asked.

"Please, Ash, could you like not tell anyone?" she asked innocently.

"Why?!" I questioned.

It was Manny's fault for being easy... not mine.

"What if that was you, Ashley, would you want everyone knowing?" she shot back.

Ha. Me pregnant, in high school, yeah right.

"Paige, that would never be me, I am not a slut!" I yelled back.

"Oh, Ashley, you're just jealous he's with her and not you!" she screamed at me.

You bitch.

I just turned and walked away. Then I went to find Ellie. She was at her locker.

So I told her the story.

"She's a slut, what do you expect?" she asked me.

"Yeah, that's true."

What did I expect. When we broke up Craig called me a prude... am I? Or is it just that I won't give him any?

"Hey, I'm gonna go talk to Sean, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied.

I hated this, she always left me to talk to Sean. I don't know what she saw in him... honestly I don't. In my opinion he's a good for nothing piece of, well you know.

I hastily threw the last of what I needed into my bag and flung it over my shoulder. I walked towards Ellie's locker. About half way there JT stopped me. I turned around.

"What. JT?" I asked, kinda annoyed, but I have to admit, JT is starting to completely transform... he's not that dork who always used to hang out with my stepbrother... now he's older, more mature (okay... maybe not mature, but...), and he's starting to get kinda hot.

"Ash, do you think you could like not tell anybody about," he lowered his voice, "Manny?"

"Why shouldn't I? Give me one good reason I shouldn't give everybody proof that she's a slut?" I stammered.

"Ash, come on, please, she's not a slut, she's just a little---------- adventurous?" he explained.

Adventurous? I had to laugh.

"Ok, JT, whatever you say. Plus, why would I want to tell everybody about MANNY BEING PREGNANT?" I said, yelling the las part, it caused half the hall to stop and look at me and the other half to turn their heads toward me. This was probably the most attention I've gotten in this school since Rock N Roll High or since I slapped Craig during the winter talent show.

Am I really that cruel?! I asked myself.

I turned and walked away as guilt consumed me. I found Ellie by her locker, but she was crying.

OH, God, what is it?

"Elle, what's wrong?" I asked, genuinely concerned for my friend.

"It's nothing," she replied, immediately.

"Ellie, I have never once seen you cry... this is something," I scolded.

"He- he- he broke up with me," she sobbed.

"Ellie, that's horrible," I gasped. Then I did the only thing I could think of, I hugged her.

"I know, Ash, I- I- I- loved him," she cried.

Then the bell rang. I didn't want to leave her there, but I had to.

"I'm gonna go to class... okay?" I asked, feeling pretty crappy for doing so.

"Yeah. Sure." she replied. I could tell she was upset, but I had to.

I turned and walked toward English. But I turned to look back at Ellie, that's when i saw she wasn't there.

Oh, God.

The bathroom door was swinging closed.

She's gonna do it!

I ran back down the hall. I ran through the door.

"ELLIE, DON'T DO IT!!" I screamed.

I heard shuffling in the first saw, then she came out, bag in hand.

"Do what, Ash?" she asked, trying to act innocent.

"You know what I mean." I stated.

"Ash, I wasn't going to... well you know..." she trailed off.

"Ellie, don't lie, I know you were gonna," I screamed.

"No, I wasn't!" she yelled back.

"Then why is your sleeve rolled up and there's a razor sticking out of your pocket?" I questioned, my voice a little smart ass-y.

"Ash, I couldn't help it, the pain was too much, I loved him for Christ's sake, why doesn't her understand?" she screamed.

"Ellie, you know that saying, 'Let them go, and if they come back, you're meant to be?'" I asked.

"Yeah, but-" she said.

"'Yeah, but' nothing, let him go, maybe he just needs some time," I responded.

"He left me for her," she said.

"Ellie, he's confused. I was too, after- well, after Craig did what he did, but he needs sometime," I started, "give him time. He'll come back around, eventually. You guys had so much fun, remember how upset he was when he thought he had to leave you to go to Alberta?"

She nodded.

"See, if he didn't love you, then why would he be upset? Get it?" I backed up me point.

"Yeah," she said.

"Ellie, you can't keep doing this to yourself, no matter how upset you are," I worried.

"I know, but sometimes I get caught up in my moment of pain."

"I know, Ellie, but remember... 'Hold on/ If you feel like letting go/ Hold on/ It feels better then you know,'" I sang.

That was my song for her... that was my perspective... she needed to hold on and not let go, she needs to deal with pain in a more healthy way.

She started crying.

"I'll try, Ash, I promise, I'll try," she said between intrevals of sobs.

I sat in the bathroom until she was finally calmed down enough to go to class, which had already started, but I wasn't too worried.

My morning classes went by pretty fast, but every once in a while I heard the occasional (okay, so it was all the time and there were tons) of rumors. Finally, right before lunch I heard the one that made me regret 100 what I had done.

The rumor was that Manny was raped, and that Craig just felt bad for her. Having been Paige's friends for nearly seven years, I took that hard. Paige was raped. And taking the guy to court later this year.

At lunch I had to go to the bathroom, so I went into the bathroom, did my business, and as I was washing my hands Paige came in. She had tear filling her eyes.

"YOU DID THIS!!" she yelled.

Then she broke down and cried, lng and hard crying.

"Look, Paige, I never said that. I would never, no matter how much I hate Manny. That rumor is horrible!" I tried comforting her.

"Look, Ashley, I'm sorry for what I said this morning," she said after a few minutes.

"Me too." I said, I left. I had to, I couldn't stand to see her cry.

Hey guys... Here's the deal, Ashley's chapter is really long because I had a lot of ideas for her, all of which are necessary for what I have planned out in the next few chapters, so I'm cutting it into two parts. Hope your like it. Please, read and review.
Ciao,
Shelby