Author's Note: Wow! 3 people like it! You know, if you can just reach one
person... Heh. Well, bite that! I reached 3! HA! Anyway, I hope you enjoy
this next chapter. I am still working things out with the whole issue of
"Who gets Remus?" I can tell you this much---it's a guy. : P
AffectedMangoO-Hey, thanks! Yeah, I'm planning on being very devoted to
this fic. I'm so pleased you like it!
Cliffe-Huzzah for creativity! Yes, I have been wanting to do this for such
a long time. It feels good to be back. I know my writing is definitely
getting more realistic and...I may even venture to say that my characters
lose their 'sanity' far more easily. (The chess scene was sorta mad) I hope
this doesn't take away from the effect of a pure Remus character with no
additives or perservatives. Thank you. I won't give up. :)
L-sama- Yay! Thank you very much! Here's another chapter just for you!
Blueberry()-I know, isn't it sad? But he'll be better by the end, I
guaruntee!
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Remus, Sirius, James, or Severus. Tough
world, huh? None of them are mine...except in dreams. : P (peter I can do
without...)
SEVERUS SNAPE'S POINT OF VIEW IS BELOW.
'Son'
She began all his letters like this....
'I'd like to respect you're decision to leave, but you and I both know how your father will react. I want to ask you to please think over it before you jump into any decisions. I can talk with him, if you wish.
But, Severus, you're being a drama queen, and I mean that in the most literal sense. I really cannot see how you can only think of yourself. Sometimes I feel you're not even my son.
Where do you think you'll go if you leave home? You don't have friends. You never did.
Mom'
I bit back my fury at the letter, seeing as I was in a public place. I crumpled the parchment, tears deciding not to obey my mind, and stuffed it in my bag. I wouldn't dispose of it yet-- as long as there was evidence of the tyranny of my parents, I wouldn't feel like a stupid git, or I might as well use a quote---" a drama queen in the most literal sense''. Mrs. Snape happened to be a pushover, not at all phased by her abusive relationship with a certain Mr. Snape, who also seemed to enjoy a rousing time of beating his child. They were of the old country, where things like this were still tolerated. I, on the other hand, couldn't tolerate, much less accept the ways of the household. When the final straw before August was pulled, I left the house, walking to the trainstation during the day and flying by night. I slept in a park a couple of nights and also at the station, but I can tell you it was much better than 'home'.
" We won't have to go anywhere. We could play chess or you could watch me play quidditch. Aaaaaaaaaaanything, pleeeeeeeeeease!"
I forced myself not to look up from Arithmancy: The Art and see Sirius Black badgering who was most likely his 'genius' friend Potter or their little rat Pettigrew. I cringed when I heard the other voice, calm and mild, without any accusation or icy edge, something I barely remembered after being in Slytherin.
"Where's James or Peter?"
I recognized that voice. I made Arithmancy my grave immediately, listening to the conversation, tears still somehow seeping out of my eyes. The conversation went on and I was sinking deeper and deeper beneath the table. If I had mastered the test, I would have disappeared completely.
"Sirius, you go on ahead and I'll meet you in a second," called the boy as the black-haired one moved towards the dorms.
"You promise!?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure!!!"
Remus turned back to retrieve his studies as I buried myself in mine, trying to appear busy until he left. I wrote nonsense hurriedly, an old poem I remembered, on a spare piece of parchment, pulling a random book out of my bag and setting it open on the table. I heard him start to walk off and heaved a small sigh of relief. Then the steps changed directions and I stopped dead in the middle of the line, barely breathing. The steps stopped and I could feel him looking down at me, probably in more ways than one.
I looked up, trying to look as fierce as I could. My eyes saw his and acting was lost. Midas must have touched the eyes with such purity giving me a gaze that could search a soul and heal it. Golden strawberry blonde hair fell around those eyes, slightly greying, but nevertheless radiant. Dove-white skin was not marred by any freckles, zits, or abrasions save for the scar half-hid by his collar. I couldn't help but think he was beautiful, but he was a monster.
"What do you want, werewolf?" I muttered.
"Severus?" Lupin asked softly, kindly, moronically. "What's wrong?"
"Fuck you, it's none of your business," I replied, hoping he wouldn't persist, and continued to write.
"...Suit yourself. But you know, Severus, if you ever would like to talk sometime, I'm not like the other guys. I think that perhaps, I might even venture to say that...well, you and I aren't so---"
"Would you just fuck off, hybrid?"I spat, suddenly furious because I knew what he would say. He would tell me "Severus, we aren't that different", and I didn't want to fuckin' hear it. He got the picture and left without much more hesitation.
Once Lupin evacuted the Great Hall I was left red in the face and short of breath. Gathering my stuff, wiping away tears, and walking as fast as my chicken-legs could take me, I found myself at the Slytherin common room door. I didn't want to end up there, but it seemed like instinct. I looked back down the hallway and sighed. I knew nobody was there, but perhaps I wanted someone there, someone to say the password for me so I'd feel awkward and have to go in. But at the moment, I neither knew the password nor cared to go inside a room full of what was most likely drunks and their girlfriends. People already found out about my sexuality a long time ago by reading my journal, and it would only become worse if I went in to listen to THAT after seeing Lupin.
So I sat around the corner at the dead end of the hallway and tried to get my breathing under control. Sometimes I could be a real pathetic creature.
"Why did I have to see Lupin..." I thought out loud.
"Snivellus? What're you doing here?" someone said in a taunting voice beneath me. Beneath me!?!?!
I sat up to see the ugliest sight in the world, James Potter and a big, fat rat named Pettigrew. I jumped to see them holding a trap door open in the floor, Potter looking at me with curious disgust and Pettigrew merely looking like an idiot.
"I would like to ask you the same thing, Potter," I seethed, completely and utter composed. I amaze myself at how well I can pull myself together when I need to. Potter must have realized very quickly that if he really told me, he'd be suspended in a mere half-minute.
" What's it to you? Can't prove anything, Snivellus," Potter responded, attempting (and failing, I may add) to be cool.
" Try me.''
Pettigrew just watched in avid admiration as Potter calculated. I rolled my eyes and started to walk to the common room door.
"On second thought, don't. I don't want to waste my time getting you suspended until I find something really, r e a l l y delectable," I breathed, smirking. His rather pathetic/defiant look just made my smile wider as I tried to remember the password and not look like an imbecile.
James and Peter got out of the floor and walked behind me on their way to bed. But they stopped when I stopped. I turned around, sighing.
"I'm not going to say the password while you're here, Potter, so you can just sod off already."
Dismayed, the fool and his apprentice and strolled off.
"........................................................................... .........Oh, Cellophane."
The door opened to reveal just the sight I imagined, but as their taunts continued and their jeering eyes followed me, my mind was on one thing and one thing only---sleep.
SEVERUS SNAPE'S POINT OF VIEW IS BELOW.
'Son'
She began all his letters like this....
'I'd like to respect you're decision to leave, but you and I both know how your father will react. I want to ask you to please think over it before you jump into any decisions. I can talk with him, if you wish.
But, Severus, you're being a drama queen, and I mean that in the most literal sense. I really cannot see how you can only think of yourself. Sometimes I feel you're not even my son.
Where do you think you'll go if you leave home? You don't have friends. You never did.
Mom'
I bit back my fury at the letter, seeing as I was in a public place. I crumpled the parchment, tears deciding not to obey my mind, and stuffed it in my bag. I wouldn't dispose of it yet-- as long as there was evidence of the tyranny of my parents, I wouldn't feel like a stupid git, or I might as well use a quote---" a drama queen in the most literal sense''. Mrs. Snape happened to be a pushover, not at all phased by her abusive relationship with a certain Mr. Snape, who also seemed to enjoy a rousing time of beating his child. They were of the old country, where things like this were still tolerated. I, on the other hand, couldn't tolerate, much less accept the ways of the household. When the final straw before August was pulled, I left the house, walking to the trainstation during the day and flying by night. I slept in a park a couple of nights and also at the station, but I can tell you it was much better than 'home'.
" We won't have to go anywhere. We could play chess or you could watch me play quidditch. Aaaaaaaaaaanything, pleeeeeeeeeease!"
I forced myself not to look up from Arithmancy: The Art and see Sirius Black badgering who was most likely his 'genius' friend Potter or their little rat Pettigrew. I cringed when I heard the other voice, calm and mild, without any accusation or icy edge, something I barely remembered after being in Slytherin.
"Where's James or Peter?"
I recognized that voice. I made Arithmancy my grave immediately, listening to the conversation, tears still somehow seeping out of my eyes. The conversation went on and I was sinking deeper and deeper beneath the table. If I had mastered the test, I would have disappeared completely.
"Sirius, you go on ahead and I'll meet you in a second," called the boy as the black-haired one moved towards the dorms.
"You promise!?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure!!!"
Remus turned back to retrieve his studies as I buried myself in mine, trying to appear busy until he left. I wrote nonsense hurriedly, an old poem I remembered, on a spare piece of parchment, pulling a random book out of my bag and setting it open on the table. I heard him start to walk off and heaved a small sigh of relief. Then the steps changed directions and I stopped dead in the middle of the line, barely breathing. The steps stopped and I could feel him looking down at me, probably in more ways than one.
I looked up, trying to look as fierce as I could. My eyes saw his and acting was lost. Midas must have touched the eyes with such purity giving me a gaze that could search a soul and heal it. Golden strawberry blonde hair fell around those eyes, slightly greying, but nevertheless radiant. Dove-white skin was not marred by any freckles, zits, or abrasions save for the scar half-hid by his collar. I couldn't help but think he was beautiful, but he was a monster.
"What do you want, werewolf?" I muttered.
"Severus?" Lupin asked softly, kindly, moronically. "What's wrong?"
"Fuck you, it's none of your business," I replied, hoping he wouldn't persist, and continued to write.
"...Suit yourself. But you know, Severus, if you ever would like to talk sometime, I'm not like the other guys. I think that perhaps, I might even venture to say that...well, you and I aren't so---"
"Would you just fuck off, hybrid?"I spat, suddenly furious because I knew what he would say. He would tell me "Severus, we aren't that different", and I didn't want to fuckin' hear it. He got the picture and left without much more hesitation.
Once Lupin evacuted the Great Hall I was left red in the face and short of breath. Gathering my stuff, wiping away tears, and walking as fast as my chicken-legs could take me, I found myself at the Slytherin common room door. I didn't want to end up there, but it seemed like instinct. I looked back down the hallway and sighed. I knew nobody was there, but perhaps I wanted someone there, someone to say the password for me so I'd feel awkward and have to go in. But at the moment, I neither knew the password nor cared to go inside a room full of what was most likely drunks and their girlfriends. People already found out about my sexuality a long time ago by reading my journal, and it would only become worse if I went in to listen to THAT after seeing Lupin.
So I sat around the corner at the dead end of the hallway and tried to get my breathing under control. Sometimes I could be a real pathetic creature.
"Why did I have to see Lupin..." I thought out loud.
"Snivellus? What're you doing here?" someone said in a taunting voice beneath me. Beneath me!?!?!
I sat up to see the ugliest sight in the world, James Potter and a big, fat rat named Pettigrew. I jumped to see them holding a trap door open in the floor, Potter looking at me with curious disgust and Pettigrew merely looking like an idiot.
"I would like to ask you the same thing, Potter," I seethed, completely and utter composed. I amaze myself at how well I can pull myself together when I need to. Potter must have realized very quickly that if he really told me, he'd be suspended in a mere half-minute.
" What's it to you? Can't prove anything, Snivellus," Potter responded, attempting (and failing, I may add) to be cool.
" Try me.''
Pettigrew just watched in avid admiration as Potter calculated. I rolled my eyes and started to walk to the common room door.
"On second thought, don't. I don't want to waste my time getting you suspended until I find something really, r e a l l y delectable," I breathed, smirking. His rather pathetic/defiant look just made my smile wider as I tried to remember the password and not look like an imbecile.
James and Peter got out of the floor and walked behind me on their way to bed. But they stopped when I stopped. I turned around, sighing.
"I'm not going to say the password while you're here, Potter, so you can just sod off already."
Dismayed, the fool and his apprentice and strolled off.
"........................................................................... .........Oh, Cellophane."
The door opened to reveal just the sight I imagined, but as their taunts continued and their jeering eyes followed me, my mind was on one thing and one thing only---sleep.