A/n : Im so v. sorry for not writing for a number of months (as C. and M.
tell me); things have been crazy. Also, I was of course shocked and
confused when our story lost its LotR-add-in (thanks a lot, you guys...)
But I shall continue. On to the ball!!
Oh and just because we mentioned everyone's penname except mine, it's
LoverOfAllThingsLegolas. Thanks dudes!
Disclaimer: Clueless, nose-less princes are always property of Disney.
Jell-o is yummy and owned by some corporation I don't know the name of.
Oh, and Lord Voldemort was created by JK, but he isn't even here, the
mirror is just a likeness.
CHAPTER TEN - From Sally Sinful to Supermodel
Sally whirled and twirled and sashayed and spun, then swiveled, just for good measure. She was in front of a mirror with what looked like an eyeless Lord Voldemort face upon its surface.
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Am I not the most beautiful of them all?"
The mirror grumbled and looked away from YM (Yearly Mirror), the magazine it was reading.
"Why the hell are you asking me? Do I look like a fashion expert to you?"
"Mirror, mirror, in a tumbledown shed, Would you like life better if you were dead?"
The mirror quickly gathered its features into a pained smile. "O Great Mistress, Your hair is shiny, Waist is tiny, Dress of red, Hat on Head...Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Must be Santa, Santa Claus!!!" (if you don't know this song, you need to listen to Raffi more often).
Sally glared at the narrator as the mirror puzzled over the words that had just popped out of his mouth.
"You made him say that, didn't you???" shrieked Sally.
Well, duh. I make everyone say everything, Hon. I'm the author of this chapter. Plus I'm quite tired, so this chapter is going to be especially long, rambling, and freaky.
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!" Sally shrieked with rage.
Suddenly, she was standing in front of a gorgeous palace. The most Disney- fied palace of all time: Huge alabaster marble walls, sparkling stained glass windows, rose gardens so heavy with blossoms that their perfumed scent filled the air. Standing next to the huge, intricately carved front doors were line upon line of servants dressed in immaculate uniforms, ready to escort inside the bespangled ladies attending the ball. Hundreds of carriages were pulling through the palace's circular front drive. Sally was standing in front of one such carriage.
However, her carriage was the only one being pulled by six panting, tired dwarves.
Sally cackled. "This is more like it! Prime Prince-meeting location! Or a King, if I can snatch hold of one.."
Grumpy leaned over and puked on her shoes.
Sally smiled sweetly down upon him. "Nice try, but my shoes are vomit- resistant. And you just volunteered to be my poor, disfigured sister whom I bring to the ball with me out of the kindness of my heart."
Grumpy spat. "Why do I have to do that??"
"My future husband will like me better if he thinks I'm kind and loving. Now quick, shove yourself into this corset."
Three minutes later, a lady dragging a small girl behind her appeared at the front door. However, no one noticed the grunting, disheveled tiny one because the woman grabbing her wrist was the most beautiful marvel they had ever seen. A glow seemed to surround the woman's supermodel face, and the door attendants found they couldn't take their eyes off of her. (Hey, a little non-magical beauty spell does a body good). The servants fell all over themselves trying to volunteer to escort her inside. The strongest, a Bod Grodly, shoved the others aside and led her into the main hall.
There, they were met by an announcer standing next to an even more intricate set of doors.
"O Beautiful Creature, what be-ith thy name?" The announcer was clearly smitten.
"Sally Sinful. Oh, and this is...um..Grumpetta."
The servant threw the doors open, and Sally suddenly found an enormous room of well-dressed people staring up at her. The women frowned at this new threat to their beauty, while the men fainted to the polished dance floor.
"Presenting Miss Sallils Infell of..um...The City of Great Beauty!" the announcer, flustered and forgetful, quickly retreated back into the quiet of the main hall. The attendant regretfully walked away from Sally and back to his post at the front door, and Grumpetta jumped in the direction of the buffet tables.
Sally, alone on the great stairs that led down onto the main floor, pouted her lips and struck a pose as her calculating eyes scanned the room for possible royalty.
"Commoner..duke..commoner..knight..squire..AHA! Royalty!"
There in the corner sat a depressed-looking male with an elaborate crown slipping down on his forehead. His ermine robes fell around his forlorn figure as he waved away row upon row of hopeful females wishing for a dance.
Sally descended upon her newest prey.
The second he saw her, all traces of sadness left his face and he immediately stood to greet her.
"Welcome to my palace! Forgive me for not noticing you sooner. I was grieving for my wife, who passed away last week, leaving my daughter and I behind."
"How sad for you," said Sally in a breathy voice, struggling to draw air into her lungs within her tight corset. "I am sure that her spirit is with us here tonight. You should celebrate her passage into a greater world - it would make her happier and her memory well-appreciated."
But the King didn't need made-up flattery. Sally's beauty was too strong, and hey, he had a brain cavity filled with jell-o.
He was hooked.
"Care to dance with me for about three hours and then slip off together to one of the Royal Broom Closets?" said the King, losing all control over his mind (and mouth).
Sally smiled evilly, then brought up a giggle.
"I'd be delighted, your highness."
************ Thanks to the 21 stars who have reviewed our story!!!! You guys are, without a doubt, the coolest cats around.
CHAPTER TEN - From Sally Sinful to Supermodel
Sally whirled and twirled and sashayed and spun, then swiveled, just for good measure. She was in front of a mirror with what looked like an eyeless Lord Voldemort face upon its surface.
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Am I not the most beautiful of them all?"
The mirror grumbled and looked away from YM (Yearly Mirror), the magazine it was reading.
"Why the hell are you asking me? Do I look like a fashion expert to you?"
"Mirror, mirror, in a tumbledown shed, Would you like life better if you were dead?"
The mirror quickly gathered its features into a pained smile. "O Great Mistress, Your hair is shiny, Waist is tiny, Dress of red, Hat on Head...Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Must be Santa, Santa Claus!!!" (if you don't know this song, you need to listen to Raffi more often).
Sally glared at the narrator as the mirror puzzled over the words that had just popped out of his mouth.
"You made him say that, didn't you???" shrieked Sally.
Well, duh. I make everyone say everything, Hon. I'm the author of this chapter. Plus I'm quite tired, so this chapter is going to be especially long, rambling, and freaky.
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!" Sally shrieked with rage.
Suddenly, she was standing in front of a gorgeous palace. The most Disney- fied palace of all time: Huge alabaster marble walls, sparkling stained glass windows, rose gardens so heavy with blossoms that their perfumed scent filled the air. Standing next to the huge, intricately carved front doors were line upon line of servants dressed in immaculate uniforms, ready to escort inside the bespangled ladies attending the ball. Hundreds of carriages were pulling through the palace's circular front drive. Sally was standing in front of one such carriage.
However, her carriage was the only one being pulled by six panting, tired dwarves.
Sally cackled. "This is more like it! Prime Prince-meeting location! Or a King, if I can snatch hold of one.."
Grumpy leaned over and puked on her shoes.
Sally smiled sweetly down upon him. "Nice try, but my shoes are vomit- resistant. And you just volunteered to be my poor, disfigured sister whom I bring to the ball with me out of the kindness of my heart."
Grumpy spat. "Why do I have to do that??"
"My future husband will like me better if he thinks I'm kind and loving. Now quick, shove yourself into this corset."
Three minutes later, a lady dragging a small girl behind her appeared at the front door. However, no one noticed the grunting, disheveled tiny one because the woman grabbing her wrist was the most beautiful marvel they had ever seen. A glow seemed to surround the woman's supermodel face, and the door attendants found they couldn't take their eyes off of her. (Hey, a little non-magical beauty spell does a body good). The servants fell all over themselves trying to volunteer to escort her inside. The strongest, a Bod Grodly, shoved the others aside and led her into the main hall.
There, they were met by an announcer standing next to an even more intricate set of doors.
"O Beautiful Creature, what be-ith thy name?" The announcer was clearly smitten.
"Sally Sinful. Oh, and this is...um..Grumpetta."
The servant threw the doors open, and Sally suddenly found an enormous room of well-dressed people staring up at her. The women frowned at this new threat to their beauty, while the men fainted to the polished dance floor.
"Presenting Miss Sallils Infell of..um...The City of Great Beauty!" the announcer, flustered and forgetful, quickly retreated back into the quiet of the main hall. The attendant regretfully walked away from Sally and back to his post at the front door, and Grumpetta jumped in the direction of the buffet tables.
Sally, alone on the great stairs that led down onto the main floor, pouted her lips and struck a pose as her calculating eyes scanned the room for possible royalty.
"Commoner..duke..commoner..knight..squire..AHA! Royalty!"
There in the corner sat a depressed-looking male with an elaborate crown slipping down on his forehead. His ermine robes fell around his forlorn figure as he waved away row upon row of hopeful females wishing for a dance.
Sally descended upon her newest prey.
The second he saw her, all traces of sadness left his face and he immediately stood to greet her.
"Welcome to my palace! Forgive me for not noticing you sooner. I was grieving for my wife, who passed away last week, leaving my daughter and I behind."
"How sad for you," said Sally in a breathy voice, struggling to draw air into her lungs within her tight corset. "I am sure that her spirit is with us here tonight. You should celebrate her passage into a greater world - it would make her happier and her memory well-appreciated."
But the King didn't need made-up flattery. Sally's beauty was too strong, and hey, he had a brain cavity filled with jell-o.
He was hooked.
"Care to dance with me for about three hours and then slip off together to one of the Royal Broom Closets?" said the King, losing all control over his mind (and mouth).
Sally smiled evilly, then brought up a giggle.
"I'd be delighted, your highness."
************ Thanks to the 21 stars who have reviewed our story!!!! You guys are, without a doubt, the coolest cats around.