Duo Maxwell bowed his head. The priest presiding over the funeral droned on and on. He kept his hands clenched at his sides knowing that it would not look good to have one of the former Gundam Pilots knocking out a little old priest but he couldn't help himself. He didn't believe in God and he knew that Heero hadn't either but Relena had insisted on having a funeral complete with a priest.
He wore complete black, his hair in a braid. He stood a little ways away from the others. He didn't want any pity or 'comfort' during the ceremony.
Wufei was there wearing traditional Chinese garbs for mourning. His face was impassive and polite as he listened to the priest. Quatre stood in between the Chinese man and Trowa. He wore a fancy dark business suit, his gold hair blowing in the slight breeze that came up from time to time. His eyes were sad and his face pinched but he did not cry. Trowa stood silently by the blond Arabians side. His face was unreadable as he stared at the empty casket.
Relena stood on the opposite side of the casket next to her brother. She wore all black with a black hat and black veil that covered most of her face. She was crying and dabbing her eyes with a little lace hankie and Duo wanted to point out that the hankie wasn't doing her much good. Zechs stood next to his sister wearing an elegant military uniform. He looked regretfully at the casket, an arm near his sister but not quite touching her.
'This is a joke,' Duo shook his head. 'So Heero didn't return when he said he would. So it's been over a year since he was supposed to return. That doesn't mean he's dead.'
He looked at the few media people there. They snapped the occasional photo but they were discreet and respectful, for the time being. He bet that the funeral party would make for a good front page cover photo. The thought sickened him.
Won't you wipe away my tears?
As the casket stands before us
People dressed all in black
And I wander off to grieve
Won't you come to me and wipe away my tears.
Finally the funeral was finished and the Pilots went their own way. Wufei broke off from the others, giving some lame excuse of needing fresh air even though they'd been standing outside for the past three hours.
"I hope he'll be all right," Quatre said, voice wavering.
"I'll go and check on him," Duo offered with a smile.
He took off after the Chinese man before Trowa or Quatre could call him back. The American found Wufei in an overgrown part of the grounds on Quatre's earth estate where the funeral rites had been held. It seemed that no one had wanted to be there for the digging of the grave.
He crept up on Wufei and the Chinese man seemed to not notice his presence. Then Wufei was on his knees, raising his head in a silent scream as he tore loose his hair from the ponytail.
Duo was there beside him. He took Wufei in his arms, rocking him gently.
"Shhhh, it's ok Wufei," Duo murmured. "I've got you."
Wufei buried his face in Duo's shoulder, tears soaking the braided man's black jacket. Duo didn't care about that though, Wufei was his friend.
After several long minutes of Duo rubbing small soothing circles on his friends back and murmuring comforting phrases Wufei pulled back from Duo's shoulder and blinked, clearing his eyes of tears. He sucked in a deep breath and looked at Duo.
"You're much stronger than I am Maxwell," Wufei said solemnly. "I sit here and cry like a child and you do not."
Duo shook his head sadly, "You have the strength to cry and I can't shed one tear."
And it was the truth, he could not cry. He helped Wufei to stand and guided the Chinese man back into Quatre's house. He kept a steadying hand on Wufei the entire time, knowing that the other appreciated the contact even if he said nothing. He ushered Wufei into the room with the other Pilots and Zechs. Relena was noticeably absent and Duo frowned.
You see I'm missing from the group
You come to check up on me
And you can see I'm upset
So you hold me close to comfort me
I cry and wet your jacket
I slobber in your handkerchief
Won't you wipe away my tears?
"Where's Lena?" He asked the group.
"She's taking a moment to compose herself," Zechs replied looking at the floor. "She's in the library."
Duo nodded and left the room. He put a forced smile on his face as he politely rapped on the library door before entering.
"Just a moment," Relena sniffled and looked up to see Duo Maxwell slip into the room.
The braided American crossed the room and enveloped her in a strong hug.
"I know you love him," The American told her. "He felt something for you too. I don't think he knew exactly what but there was something there."
Relena's tears began anew and Duo wiped them away with his black handkerchief. After several minutes Relena was left with red-rimmed eyes and a red runny nose.
"Blow your nose Lena," Duo ordered gently holding the handkerchief to her nose.
Obediently like a small child she blew her nose and Duo folded the cloth over.
"I'm sorry," Relena apologized. "I've never done anything for you and you're the only one who came. I'm sorry about the handkerchief too."
"Don't be sorry Lena," Duo chided with a tiny smile. "The handkerchief can be washed and you've always invited us Pilots over for Christmas or parties."
"But I'm not even your friend," Relena began to wail again.
"Hush Relena," Duo told her. "You can be my friend now if you want."
He wiped her tears away with his thumbs and gave her a feather light kiss on her forehead. He stepped back, still keeping Relena in the loose circle of his arms. He saw the sadness in her eyes and it mirrored what he felt but could not show. He gave her another tight squeeze.
"No worries Lena," Duo whispered in her hair. "Now go splash some cold water on your pretty face and rejoin the others. I'll see you later ok?"
"Ok," She answered softly.
Duo dropped his arms and left the library to spot Trowa heading off down the hallway. On instinct Duo followed. He knew that this group would not cry with witnesses, at least most of them wouldn't.
Duo slipped down the hallway after Trowa, making sure to keep silent. He didn't want to startle or scare his friend into putting on a strong front. All of them needed to cry their tears. He could not cry but they could and he could wipe away their tears, it was the least he could do.
I walk quietly down the halls and you follow silently
I play a haunting tune and you know what it means
You let me have my dignity
You enter when it's fallen silent
And you hold me
Please wipe away my tears.
Trowa entered the music room as Duo knew he would after coming this far down the hallway. Duo waited outside the door and he heard the sad haunting melody that Trowa began to play on the flute. Duo gave a bitter smile, the tune reminded him of how he felt. He waited longer until the notes began to waver and shake and then he entered silently into the room.
The lights were out, the only light coming from the nearly closed curtains. Duo came up behind Trowa and moved to the side of him, carefully removing the flute from the man's loose grip. Duo pulled Trowa into a hug. The other stiffened and then began to shake.
Trowa shook and cried silent tears, no sobs or noise, just shaking and tears. Duo held him and brushed a soothing hand along the nape of his neck.
"It's all right now Trowa," Duo told his friend. "You're not alone. I've got you buddy."
After several minutes that left Duo's shoulder damp from Wufei, his chest soggy from Relena and now his collar wet from Trowa the Heavyarms Pilot back away slightly.
"Thank you," Trowa said.
"You're Welcome," Duo returned just as quietly.
They stood feet apart from each other while Trowa studied the ground. The Heavyarms Pilot looked up with his forest green eyes and locked eyes with Duo, giving him a nod and then leaving the room.
Duo waited and moment and followed. He went back to the parlor and saw Quatre's eyes beginning to mist. The American entered and sat on the arm of the blond Arabian's chair. He put an arm around Quatre's shoulder and pulled the blond to his side.
In front of all you wrap an arm about my shoulders
You tell me it's all right
And I cry out my tears
You comfort me so tenderly as you wipe away my tears.
"Just let it out Q-man," Duo encouraged him. "No one will think any less of you for it."
Quatre threw his arms around Duo's middle and pressed his face into the side of the American. Duo ran a hand through Quatre's gold locks in a tender motion. Quatre gave off little sobs from time to time. Wufei looked away and Zechs pretended not to notice as he continued his study of the floor. Finally Relena's brother excused himself to get a drink. Eventually Quatre's sobs subsided and he pulled back from Duo who still kept a loose arm about his shoulders.
"Fell better Quat?" Duo asked sincerely.
The Arabian nodded, "Yes. Thank you Duo. I'm sorry for getting your jacket wet."
"No problem," Duo said easily. "It's not the first time it's happened."
The American excused himself and left the room just as Trowa and Relena returned. He wandered the halls until he heard piano music coming from the ballroom. He slipped into the giant room and saw Zechs seated at the piano, playing a slow sad song with a quarter empty bottle of brandy.
You watch me leave them for solitude
Yet you seek me out so I'm not alone
You rub my back to reassure
And tell me that it will do some good to remember
And you wipe away my tears
Duo walked across the ballroom and up behind the piano bench. He placed his hands on Zechs' shoulders and began to massage them lightly, not hard enough to affect the man's playing. The piano continued on and finally came to a stop. Zechs hands began trembling and a few tears trickled down his chisled face.
"I didn't think losing a rival would leave me like this," He whispered to the room.
"Often it is our enemies who we miss the most when they're gone," Duo said quietly, not stopping in his massage. "And you and Heero had a great amount of mutual respect for each other. You two understood each other in a way the rest of us don't connect. It hurts to lose connections."
Zechs nodded. Duo stopped massaging and held a fresh black handkerchief over the man's shoulder. Zechs took it and wiped his eyes without comment.
"Keep it," Duo told the man. "And remember that not all tears are weak. And not all rivals are to be beaten."
The braided American left the room without a backward glance and the piano started back up again.
The American smiled to himself when he left the room. It was a bitter and sad smile. He walked down the halls, laughing to himself.
"I can't cry," He whispered with a resentful smile. "But I can wipe away all their tears."
'And what's the point?' He continued on silently to himself. 'It's not like any of them would ever return the favor. They only call around Christmas or to invite me to those political parties.'
He looked around Quatre's mansion and felt out of place. He spotted Abdul, a Maguanac coming towards him. Duo put on another false smile, the kind that never failed him.
"Abdul, tell Quatre I'm leaving early," The American said, the smile easing off his face. "I have things to do. Tell them I'll see them at Christmas."
Before Abdul could respond Duo was walking briskly away.
'I'm just a bitter shell,' He told himself as he sped off on his motorcycle. 'And I doubt any of them will notice I didn't stick around either. My job's done.'
But who will be there when you cry?
Who will come to you?
Who will check up on you to see that things are ok?
Who will follow and wait until the time is right?
Who will be there in front of the others to block you're face?
Who will seek you out?
Who will wipe away your tears?
Owari.