Chapter 3-

"No, I didn't!" He shot him with a bazooka. "Cid!"

"What!?"

"Come heavy breathing here… Ahahahahahahaha! Muuuuwahahahahahahahaha!"

"No, please! Don't get Cid!"

"Fear…I like it…" Vincent dropped the bazooka. "What are we talking about?" Since Vincent lost his anger he turned back to normal.

Then Cloud fainted. So of course Sephiroth strained himself to catch him and ended up knocking over the aquarium. Vincent saved it but stepped on Sephiroth's leg and fell.

"Owie!" Sephiroth dropped Cloud and grabbed his crushed leg.

"You dropped me!" Cloud started to cry and grab his head.

"I'm sorry Cloudie-kun! I'll kiss it and make it better!" Sephiroth was going to kiss Cloud's head but Cloud's largest spike poked him in the eye. "Ahh!" His eye started to bleed.

"Blood!" Vincent really wanted to lick it but Cid caught him.

"Everybody shut up!" Cid was getting pissed off. "Hey author! Heal his eye!"

I'm on vacation.

"Your writing!"

You have no proof.

"Your writing comments and no one else can!"

I can still be writing on vacation.

"Heal his eye!"

Fine…There, he lives…

"Yay! I'm not bleeding anymore."

All of a sudden, Cloud started to cry.

"Cloudie-kun, what's wrong!?" Sephiroth started to freak out. "Are you hurt!? Are you bleeding internally!? Oh god, your dying aren't you!?" Sephiroth started checking Cloud's head for bullet wounds, but he couldn't find anything. "Why are you crying!?"

"I--don't--n--know!" Cloud continued to wail because I wanted him to.

"Stop making Cloudie-kun cry!" Sephiroth started a water ball in his hand that continued to get bigger. Soon it started coming at me but Sephiroth forgets who I am…And that's why I can reflect it.

"You…" Sephiroth started to grow red in the face.

"No Sephi, it will kill you!" Cloud was actually thinking about Sephiroth. " I didn't just say that!" Cloud covered his mouth.

"Yes you did." Cid replayed it on his tape recorder. "No Sephi, it will kill you!"

"I'm so confused." Cloud held his head and rocked back and fourth. "PS2, or Sephi?"

Sephiroth was stunned. "He can't choose between me and the PS2!? Oh my god!" Sephiroth was thinking to himself happily. "I can see it now…We'd be wonderful together…Have a huge gaming room with--" Sephiroth stopped. "NO PS2!" He had become angered over seeing the PS2 in his daydreams. This resulted in a dead Cid. "Oopsies…" Sephiroth had regained his senses.

"Aww man…he didn't even enhance my gun yet…" Vincent was poking him. "Oh well! Guess I get to eat him!" Vincent can be heard slurping in the background.

"You killed out navigator!" Cloud was frantic. "How do we go anywhere now!?" They were just too stupid to go anywhere themselves…pity…

"Hey! Don't we need to throw a party!?" Vincent was done eating the corpse.

"Of course!" Cloud pulled a keg of Mountain Dew out of his back pocket. Then he pulled out a small cell-phone. "Thirty cheese pizzas, wings, and blue cheese for the side." They eat a lot and usually throw a party. But this time, they only ordered for themselves. (No I didn't forget about Yuffie.)

"Sephiroth set up the P----g-game cube!" Cloud caught himself then went to Vincent's ear. "Get the PS2. I'll get the DVD's and we're stayin' up until four!" Cloud was directing the insanity.

"Yes sir!" Vincent was referring to Cloud since he controlled an army.

Soon they were all on the Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. They were all for once being cooperative. It was very scary…

At about four a. m., everyone was out cold and drooling on the floor except for Vincent. He liked the night. He was also planning on how to cut Sephiroth's hair.

"Waste length with ribbons. No! Shoulder length with pigtails! No, bald!" Vincent had been very quiet until the last idea and woke up Sephiroth. "Oops…" But Sephiroth just went back to sleep with his face in the pizza.

Then there was a loud boom and Aeris came through the wall. (Bet you were wondering where she went.) Then she hit Vincent and put her pokey stick through the (dare I say it?) PS2!(giggle)

By now Sephiroth and Cloud were awake. Sephiroth was confused and Cloud wasn't moving. Sephiroth saw this and began to freak out again.

"Cloud, what's wrong!?" He started to shake Cloud violently when tears started flowing out of Cloud's eyes.

"P-PS2..." Cloud hugged Sephiroth and cried.

"It's okay! I'll buy you a new one!" (We all know Sephiroth is happy about this)

"It's not the same!" Cloud started to cry harder.

"We can fix this one!"

"Cid 's dead!"

"Oh yeah…"

This only made Cloud cry harder. "WAHHHH-HAAA!"

Aeris made a quick get away because she knew Cloud would kill her when he was done crying. Of course, she was right.

"Target locked…" Before Aeris could get away fully Cloud had locked onto her as a target. "Kill until nothing is left." Cloud grabbed Vincent's gun out of his hand and aimed it at Aeris. Everyone knows when Cloud gets a target he'll never stop until the target is dead.

"No! I didn't mean to…" Aeris was trying to back away.

"Target in range…" Cloud aimed with the magnum point forty four and fired. It hit Aeris in the head and she went flying out of the wall and into Cloud's forest. "Target destroyed."

"Cloudie-kun?" Sephiroth came up to him with much caution." Are you safe?" .00000000000000000001 seconds after he asked this Cloud started to wail again.

"PS2! Come back!" He was holding his beloved PS2.

"Cloud…it can't come back…" Vincent was trying to comfort Cloud and shed a few tears for the fallen beloved.

"Why!? Why did it have to end like this? Why couldn't it have been Sephiroth or Vincent?"

Sephiroth stood there like a statue. "Me? That little arrogant…" Sephiroth's eye started twitching. "Cloud, how could you!?" Sephiroth ran away crying again.

Vincent didn't even say anything. He was used to Cloud acting this way.

"You bastard!"

I said you were getting used to this and wouldn't get angry now stop being angry!

"You little…" Vincent's eyes were turning red. "I'll kill you…" He started talking in a grisly voice. "Die!"

No! Don't touch him! Stop being angry, now!

"PS2, attack!" Cloud tried making the PS2 attack Vincent but it is…BROKEN AND UNLIVING!

"Why doesn't Cloudie-kun like me anymore? I've got it! I'll wear a pink frilly dress, get an entire body wax, and a sex change!" Sephiroth ran off to do all this.

After half an hour, Vincent stopped chasing Cloud because his favorite anime Rurouni Kenshin was on. So he was sitting there as if nothing had happened. Cloud was sweating and hiding in a corner behind the couch.

"Come on Cloud…" Vincent was patting his hand on the cushion next to him. Then he turned his head to Cloud in a very scary manner with a sweet smile on his face. "Come sit I won't hurt you."

Cloud sat there for a minute deciding what to do. He came to two conclusions. If he stayed where he was, Vincent couldn't grab his throat but he might get mad if he didn't move. In the end, Cloud was sitting next to Vincent.

"So best friend!" Vincent grabbed Cloud's throat in a creepy manner with his nails digging into his skin. "What's going on?"

"Besides the fact that your scaring the fuck out of me and are sticking your fucking nails through my flesh? Not much, what's up with you?" Cloud was talking calmly.

"That's good to hear. I'm just having fun planning on how to kill you."

"Okay then, what are you going to do with the body after that?"

"Maybe eat it…" Vincent was drooling at this point and scaring Cloud even more.

"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna fucking die!…" Cloud was crying.

"Your probably right…"

"But we have to bury my beloved!"

"I'll arrange."

"Cloudie-kun!" Sephiroth had come back. "I have a surprise for you!" When Sephiroth came in he saw Cloud on the ground with tomato sauce around him. No wait… tastes itIt's blood…

"CLOUDIE-KUN!"

Vincent started to back away. "La la la…I'm not here…"

"Die…" Sephiroth's eyes turned red and he…er….it…hit Vincent with the magic Ultima.

"Owwiee!" Vincent's ass was on fire. "Ow!" Vincent ran into the kitchen and put his ass out with a bowl of pudding.

Soon Sephiroth ran into the kitchen and grabbed a dill pickle. Then he ran to Cloud with it and waved it in front of his nose. "I know you love these, so wake up!"

Since I don't feel like Sephiroth's whining today, I brought Cloud back to life.

"The pickle worked! I knew it would!" Sephiroth stopped as Cloud was not saying anything." Huh?"

"What the hell did you…" Cloud was staring at Sephiroth's chest." This isn't happening…" Cloud got up and walked away.

"But Cloudie-kun, I did it for you!" Sephiroth tried to chase after him.

"Just stay away from me woman!" Cloud got out his sword.

"But Cloudie-kun, I am still a man inside. I'm just different on the outside." Sephiroth started walking closer.

"Stay back! Yeah, way too different!"

"Why do you hate me!? I do everything for you! I even hand wash your underwear!"

"Oh, you do?"

"Yes I do! Who do you think cleans your laundry?"

"I always thought it magically cleaned itself! My mother lied to me all these years!" Cloud started to cry." Mother, how could you!?"

"Cloud? When did you get back alive?" Vincent was sitting in the kitchen eating when Cloud knocked down the wall with his sword.

"Oh, hey Vincent." Cloud turned around and continued the line of destruction. "Evil, dead mother! I hope your in hell!"

"Cloudie-kun, the balcony!"

Cloud fell over the balcony. "Ahha!"

"Oh no! The picker bushes are under there!" Sephiroth tried to think of magic to use. "Gravity!"

"Not strong enough!" Cloud continued to fall.

"Uh, gravi- gravi-…"Sephiroth tried to think and was drooling. Then he remembered it. "Gravira!"

"Thank you sweet lord! I knew you didn't want me to die! I--" Cloud's head slammed into the bottom of the balcony.

"Oh dear." Vincent came out behind Sephiroth. "Looks like our personal gorilla has been knocked out."

"Hey, is that… Chester from Linkin Park? Oh and look, it's Frank from My Chemical Romance…" Cloud was dreaming…again…

Well there you have it. That's the last that is written but I know there will be more.