Author's note: Aha! Maybe I shall do some plot development this time?! Nah, babes. It seems to be more quantity than quality lately. But I shall try my best....but, Ally, could you possibly be more specific as to WHY it is rubbish? That might help.

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Remus, Sirius, James, or Severus. Tough world, huh? None of them are mine...except in dreams. : P (Peter I can do without...)

BLACK, Sirius BLACK

I didn't know what to make of the situation. As far as I could see, Remus hated me and James wouldn't be satisfied until I got my just rewards. But I couldn't do anything to change what I had mistakenly done...it almost seemed like someone else had gotten into me. I could barely recall what I was thinking as I said everything.

But that didn't stop James from doing everything in his power to avoid me and keep Remus far from any stress and sadness. Which, in essence, meant that he and Remus stayed far away from me, taking with them any people I might find solace in. This was his way of telling me I was not deserving of solace.

That night I confronted him like I confront most things.

"Okay, what the fuck do I need to do for you to get off my back, James?"

He turned around and glared at me. His very disposition filled the empty common room and I swear I could hear the fire snap twice because of him.

"You have a lot you need to do, Sirius, but I don't think it's possible for ANY of us to rely on you to change," he spat.

"Oh, come off it, Prongs, I am humbling myself before you. Can't you just offer me something so I can try?" I asked exasperatedly. I was dead sick of these little games he'd always play to try and make me feel guilty. I already felt enough without him--why couldn't he realize it? Besides, it was none of his business.

"Black, you call this humble? Your behavior is atrocio--"

"Fucking'a James!!! Just cut it out! I am so fucking sick of your shit! This doesn't even involve you, what reason do you have to ignore me!?!"

"You never quit! First that whole shit with leading Severus into the Shrieking Shack after Remmie, then you become jealous and completely break his heart! You are a devious, lying piece of shit an---"

"Stop, James."

"Why should I? If you never loved---"

"I DO LOVE HIM!" I shouted. I stopped and held my breath for a moment, letting it out slowly and straightening myself out. I tried to keep my eyes fixed on him, sort of the whole 'don't show you're afraid' mechanism. I was shocked--I wasn't thinking of saying that. An entirely different thought was in my head when I said that, something along the lines of 'I made a fucking mistake, asshole', but instead I said what I did. I was learning quickly how many things can never be taken back.

The was a long silence between us before James finally spoke. "Then what the fuck is your problem?"

"...I don't know. Commitment? Losing him as a friend? Maybe being the one he doesn't love as much as Snivellus?...I wasn't thinking when I did that, James. I felt completely out of my skin and....I made a mistake....I know that. I know it's irreversable. I know I am always creating trouble...and that's my burden. I don't need to lose you on top of it," I stated quietly.

"Remus would never stop being your friend. He needs us and we need him even more....you should know that."

"That's just it--I don't know him like I want to. He knows everything about me, but he is such a mystery...." I sighed, relishing this calm we had between us.

"You never got to know him, you were always too caught up in some girl or me."

"I knooooooow," I moaned. " I know....and it's all my fault James...and no matter how much I realize these things and love him...I can't get him back after saying something so horrible...Perhaps Snape deserves him---"

"Shut up, Sirius."

I was surprised. James usually was defensive of Snape's matters of the heart with Remus, but he continued.

"Snivellus does not deserve Remus, nor do they love eachother. You and Remus have been practically created for the soul purpose of being together. Snape can't say that," James explained, still mildly cold.

"...What should I do, then?" I asked pathetically.

"Nothing...for now. Wait until he forgives you and wants to persue your platonic relationship before you spring love up again....IF you spring love up again," he ended.

"...I want to definitely tell him as soon as I can....I can't stand living like this, and it's only been two days....Why am I being so childish and pathetic?"

"...Because I think you truly love him."

"....I think you're right...And I hate it......."

But it didn't take long for Remus to become neutral once more. The next day, only 3 days after our...breakup, I suppose....he began to speak to me again.

"Sirius, could you pass the toast?" he asked sweetly, giving me a vague smile.

"Oh--yes, sorry, I will---"

James reached across the table and set the toast on Remus's plate before I got the chance to move.

"Thank you," he smiled.

"Don't mention it," James responded.

Alright, so it wasn't much, but it was enough to give me hope for the rest of the day.