Mark would drive, and I would navigate, and Mimi and Roger would be in the back. And then we'd switch off every day. That seemed like a good arrangement.

We were still on the sidewalk, packing everything (which actually wasn't a lot- we were just doing it very slowly) in the car, when Mimi said, "I can't do it."

"Can't do what?" Roger asked her.

"Go to Santa Fe- there's just too much here. And that's just so far away!"

"We talked about this before, Mimi- the weather will be good for you, and maybe you'll get better- you have to! This cold isn't doing anything for you."

"I'm not leaving!" she protested, then sat down on the step leading into the building.

I knew she didn't want to go in the first place, but now that the money issue was taken care of, she didn't have to leave- we all just think that it would be best for her. But it was up to her- she was an adult who could make her own decisions.

"Fine, Mimi. You can stay here in the fucking cold and get sicker while the rest of us are enjoying the rays of New Mexico," Mark said, then slammed the trunk of the car. That was not like him.

"Leave her the fuck alone, Mark!" Roger yelled at him. "If she wants to stay here, then let her!" Then he turned to her. "You want to stay? Okay- we'll stay." He grabbed his guitar from the backseat, then took Mimi's hand and led her back inside.

"Mark, what the fuck was that?" I asked him.

"It was just that we spent all that time packing and loading, and I was getting all excited to leave, and then she says that she doesn't want to go, and then poof! We're staying. What the fuck? I say we should still go, with or without those two."

"Did you and Roger have a fight earlier today or yesterday?" I asked him.

"No, everything is perfectly fine. Yes we had a fight! I fucking can't stand him sometimes!"

"About what? Everything seemed okay a few hours ago."

"Well things aren't! He just gets on my nerves sometimes. And you know what else about him pisses me off? He ignores her sometimes then treats her like a queen the next- it makes me sick."

That sounded like something Roger would say about Mark. "Do you really want to go now, though? I don't think it's a smart thing to leave those two alone."

"Hell yes! Just you and me, Maureen, like it used to be, but this time just as friends. I'm sick of all of this New York shit. Let's leave."

He started to get into the car, but I stopped him. "Mark, we can't. I'm not going to leave Mimi and Roger, and now there's nothing to do there, and…" I didn't know why I didn't want to go with him. It would be fun.

He sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I just thought it would be a fun thing to film. In reality, we can't actually go to New Mexico. There is just way too much here to leave behind, and not to mention that Benny would have a fucking fit!"

He laughed, which was good. I loved seeing him laugh. He shook his head and stared down the street. "You know…" he then bit his lip and turned red. "Never mind."

I watched him get up, grab his camera, then start into the apartment. "Mark, wait." I whispered after him.

He looked back at me. "What?"

I didn't know what to say- I just didn't want him to leave. "Don't go."

"What?" He seemed surprised. "Why?"

"I don't really know, actually." Then I thought of something. "Mark, do you realize that Roger's just going to yell at you if you go back in there? He's always yelling at you for something, and he shouldn't, or you shouldn't take his shit. So stay out here with me."

He looked at me like I was crazy, but then sighed and stood next to me, where I was leaning against the car door. "You're right, Maureen," he said, then pulled me into the car and turned on the heat.

"I wish our apartment was like this," I told him.

"No shit. It's freezing in there and it always will be because we can't afford anything!" He then looked directly into my eyes and shook his head.

"What the fuck is wrong with us?" he asked. "We can't feed ourselves yet we think we can get all the way to Santa Fe and possibly back without having to stop for gas? Do you know how fucking much gas costs? Ha!"

I blinked and stared at him. He seemed like a different person. "Uh, I guess that never did occur to me," I told him, though not sure if he wanted a response or not.

Mark opened the door and stepped out. "I'll be inside. I need to go talk to one of my friends."

He closed the door and I was alone.