Chapter 12
When Blank finally found Kuja, he stopped short in amazement. Kuja's back was to him, and he saw, for the first time-
'A tail?! ...Of course. I mean, it makes sense. Zidane has a tail, so why shouldn't his brother? Obviously he has a tail. ...So why didn't I see it before?'
The silver streak that was Kuja's tail was not only plainly visible, it was lashing back and forth with what must be agitation. Years of reading Zidane's emotions from the movements of his tail would come in handy, Blank thought.
Kuja's back was to Blank, and he apparently hadn't heard him come in, so Blank approached with caution, clearing his throat.
Kuja whipped around, glaring, and Blank could still see his tail sweeping furiously back and forth behind his back. Kuja must have been really upset. As if Blank couldn't tell from the expression on his face.
"You okay?" he asked anyway.
Kuja continued to glare. "How dare you?! How dare both of you?! First my brother not trusting me, and then you! I should have known you were being duplicitous. I should have known-"
"Hey, wait. Hold on." Blank had reached Kuja and put a hand on each of his shoulders in a steadying motion. "Look, I wasn't trying to be deceitful. I promise. You are referring to the fact that I didn't mention anything about any feelings for you, yes?"
Kuja nodded slightly, staring furiously at the ground.
"I was just trying to take things slowly. Look Kuja. Like it or not, your brother's right. You're not ready for that kind of relationship. So I didn't tell you because I didn't want to put pressure on you."
"So you don't think I can make my own decisions either?" Kuja asked harshly.
"It's not that, I-" but he didn't get any further, because Kuja had lunged forward and was kissing him almost angrily. For a moment Blank was too shocked to react, but he quickly regained control and wrenched Kuja away. The second they were apart, Kuja began ranting again.
"Don't you dare think you can tell me what I can and can't do! You do NOT control me! No one controls me anymore! I will do what I want! Don't think you can-"
Blank put a hand over Kuja's mouth to silence him, which earned him an even more venomous glare. He sighed. "Will you listen for a second?" he said.
Kuja scowled furiously, but Blank didn't take his hand off of Kuja's mouth until he finally nodded.
Blank released his mouth with another sigh, though he kept his hold on Kuja's arm with his other hand. "Now let me explain for a second, okay? I know you can make your own decisions. But decisions can be a burden. And I didn't want you to feel like you had some obligation towards me. Because I really do care about you, and I want to be your friend. And because I'm your friend, I wanted to save you a little grief, okay?"
Kuja still looked suspicious, but at least he hadn't started yelling again.
Slightly at a loss for words, reeling from the intensity of the argument, Blank backed off and sat heavily in an armchair. They were in a high-ceilinged library-slash-sitting room. Enormous windows allowed the pre-dusk sunlight to pour unhindered into the room, drenching all the surfaces in low golden twilight. Blank watched as Kuja began to pace the floor. His tail was still swishing back and forth, but not quite as violently as before.
"I don't know if I can trust you," Kuja said after a long pause.
"Well, I'm afraid that there's nothing I can really say to help you make that decision. It's down to faith, Kuja. Trust your instincts. If you think you can trust me, then you probably can."
Kuja stopped in his pacing and looked sideways at Blank. Instead of responding to his words, he said, "Did you like it when I kissed you?"
Blank was slightly startled at the straightforwardness of the question, but considered this. "I would have preferred that you not do it because you were trying to prove something. But yes, I liked it."
Kuja began pacing again without response. This time the silence dragged on for so long that Blank started to become uncomfortable. He searched for a topic to break the quiet. "So, how come I've never seen your tail before this?"
Kuja looked surprised and looked behind him, as though he hadn't realized that he had a tail. "I usually keep it tucked under my clothing," he said. "It makes me look slightly more normal, so that I... fit in."
To himself, Blank thought that Kuja would never fit in with normal people, in the same way that a diamond wouldn't fit in with a handful of gravel.
"Can I touch it?" Blank asked, and then wondered where the hell that question had come from.
Kuja also looked puzzled, frowning at him again, but he stopped pacing and approached Blank. Coming to a stop in front of him, he whipped his tail around him in one smooth motion so that the twitching tip was practically in Blank's lap.
Tentatively, Blank reached out and stroked Kuja's tail. The fur was incredibly soft, like that of a Persian cat. He had felt Zidane's tail before, and it had been spiky and slightly coarse. But Kuja's was soft and velvety and a joy to touch. Blank found himself mesmerized by the sensation as he continued to hypnotically pet the amazing fur.
In a slight daze he looked up to find that Kuja had closed his eyes and the look on his face had changed from suspicion to sheer bliss. Blank got the distinct impression that if Kuja could have been purring at that moment, he would have been.
Without really comprehending his own actions, he reached out with the hand not stroking Kuja's tail and grabbed Kuja's arm, tugging him down to sit on his lap. Kuja folded without much resistance, his eyes still closed. With Kuja's back now halfway towards him, he had much better access to the tail, which he continued to stroke smoothly.
Kuja's eyes opened slightly and he peered at Blank through heavy lids. Blank licked his lips. Kuja was decidedly sexy. The very tip of his tail was twitching back and forth with pleasure.
With his free hand, Blank reached up to touch a lock of Kuja's hair. It was surprising in its texture. "Your hair feels kind of like feathers. Like a cross between feathers and fur."
Kuja nodded, still looking slightly dazed. "I was supposed to be an Angel of Death, after all."
Blank leaned his head forward so that his breath was warm against Kuja's ear. "An angel, huh?" he said softly. "That sounds about right."
After that it was only natural to kiss him.
Unlike their first kiss, this one was much slower, deeper, and holding an undercurrent of repressed passion. It felt very, very good. Blank suddenly became aware of the situation; he was sitting in an armchair with a very docile, very sultry Kuja in his lap, and they were kissing. More than kissing: one of Blank's hands was tangled in Kuja's hair, the other had crept up his back under his shirt and was pressing him closer. Kuja's tail lay between them, twitching, resting on Blank's thigh.
Kuja moaned and Blank felt a shudder go through the other's body, down to the tip of his tail. He grinned against Kuja's mouth, but continued in his series of searing kisses. Kuja tasted good. So good.
The hand that Blank had previously been moving across Kuja's back was slipping downwards, fingertips darting under his waistband, when suddenly, the door opened.
The two of them stopped, staring at the intruder, blatantly caught in the act.
Amarant stood there in surprise. Obviously he had not expected to run into anyone in this room. When he recognized Kuja, however, his expression quickly changed to a scowl.
"Figures," the red-haired man muttered, a sneer in his voice.
Kuja stood in one fluid, elegant motion. He looked mysteriously unruffled, as though he hadn't just been making out with Blank. "Excuse me?" he said.
Amarant smiled an ugly smile. "It figures you'd be a pervert too. I can't for the life of me understand why Zidane saved someone as worthless as you. He should have just left you to die."
Blank felt anger rise inside him. What right did this jerk have to talk about Kuja like that?
"Who the hell do you think you-" he started, but Amarant cut him off.
"You stay out of this, pretty-boy. Blind fairy."
At this comment, Kuja's entire body seemed to stiffen. His tail went rigid for a moment, then began to sweep back and forth in long, slow arcs, like a cobra poising for a strike.
"You do not talk about my friend that way," he said softly. But there was something in his voice that Blank had not heard from him before. Something cold and hard, and with an edge like steel. Blank looked up at Kuja's face and felt his blood run cold. There was a look in Kuja's eyes that spoke intimately of the time not so long ago when the world had been something to crush in the palm of Kuja's hand. His eyes were those of a ruthless, cold-blooded killer.
The thought occurred to Blank that this was a man who could easily kill them all, and might do so, even now. Even Amarant seemed slightly taken-aback, though he covered it well. "I think I'll talk about him however I want, thanks," he spat.
Kuja's eyes narrowed, and he took a step forward. Blank could see points of blue light forming at the tips of his fingers, and in an instant realized what he was about to do. He leapt out of his chair and took one of Kuja's wrists in each of his hands, halting his progress. Kuja looked startled, and the blue lights faded.
Blank turned his head back to look at Amarant and saw by the look on his face that he also had gathered what Kuja was about to do. "I think you'd better leave," said Blank.
Amarant didn't look too happy about the order, but did so, slamming the door a little too forcefully behind him. When he had left, Blank steered Kuja to the armchair, where the white-haired man sat heavily. Kuja's entire body was shaking.
Blank knelt in front of Kuja and took Kuja's hands between his own, holding them comfortingly. When Kuja's shaking did not lessen, he risked extending one hand to stroke his tail softly. This seemed to calm him slightly, and the shivering began to taper off.
Blank leaned down to plant a kiss on the tip of Kuja's still shuddering tail. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Kuja nodded. "I- He said..."
Blank realized suddenly that because the man was in Zidane's little group, Kuja must have counted Amarant as a friend. He hadn't anticipated that Amarant might hate him, and certainly not with so much venom. Such a thing must have come as a shock, perhaps even a betrayal.
One of Kuja's hands flew to his face and Blank looked up at the bowed head and realized that Kuja was crying. It was a disturbing sight.
"Kuja..." Blank was at a loss for how to comfort him.
"I-I almost lost control." Kuja's voice was soft and shuddered with his tears. Blank felt his heart constrict at his friend's sadness. "I couldn't s-stop. I was going to... going to..." he trailed off, but Blank understood.
"It's okay," he said. He continued to stroke Kuja's tail, since he seemed to find it soothing. "You didn't," Blank reminded him. "You didn't lose control."
"Because you stopped me!" said Kuja, his voice cracking. "If you hadn't, I might have done something... I thought I didn't have that in me anymore! I thought it was gone for good."
Blank stood and kissed Kuja softly on the top of his head. Then he took his friend's hands and pulled him to his feet. "Come on," he said softly. "You should take a rest. It's starting to get late; the sun's gone down now. Sleep will do you good."
Kuja nodded, not looking at him, and sniffled slightly. And not for the first time, Blank found himself thinking how childlike and innocent he seemed. He led Kuja wordlessly towards the room Kuja shared with his brother.
Oh God, that was hideous. Take me back.
or
Oh God, that was hideous. Let me complain to the author.