Chapter 8: Rewrite
Standard Disclaimer Applies
Hello again, fellow readers and reviewers; and welcome to yet another installment of the ever-capricious, thought-provoking, dreamy world of Paradise. Keruri here, with a little A/N for the people who care to listen to her, even though this authoress's beginning notes have not yet been so long since a fair amount of time ago. Or, at the very least, not since I started writing fan fiction and my ideas were lesser known and less coherent.
Recently, I've taken an interest in the anime series Full Metal Alchemist, or to the Japanese-loving people who prefer the original title, Hagane no Renkinjutsushi. Have any of my reviewers seen any episodes of this series? I'm interested in checking it out, since I've heard very good things about it already; but I'd like to hear it straight from you guys. Is it as good as everyone says it is? Is there any interesting character you guys would like to share with me; Ed; Roy; Al; Hawkeye; Winry? I'll know what or who you're talking about; I promise. And if I don't, I'll make an effort to find out. If you have no idea what I'M talking about, well...that's okay, too, right? :D
Well, enough of the off-topic chat; I'll shut up now to let you all continue reading. I hope you will enjoy this chapter of Paradise, and I'll be back at the end of this chapter to answer everyone's reviews.
Kishin da omoi o hakidashitai no wa
Sonzai no shoumei ga ta ni nai kara...
Tsukan da hazu no boku no mirai wa
"Songen" to "jiyuu" de nujun shiteru yo...
Wanting to spit out the jarred thoughts is
Because there's no other proof of my existence...
My future that I should've grabbed hold is
Conflicting between "dignity" and "freedom..."
--From the 4th Full Metal Alchemist ending theme, Rewrite.
The next day, things were slightly different at N-G Studios, though not exactly showing in a blatant form. For one thing, the absence of Seguchi Tohma was barely recognized to the public eye, even if every staff member there knew the reason of his disappearance and the actual fact of it. And for another, as Suguru noted quietly while attempting to play a rather simple tune on his keyboard, Shindou Shuichi was acting rather quiet today.
Normally, the keyboardist of Bad Luck would have to reprimand the pink-haired vocalist at least thrice, (most of the time even more than that), during their rehearsal or recording sessions; and on a daily occasion, these admonishments would go ignored or obliviously unnoticed. Today, Suguru didn't even have to talk with the elder musician once.
"Is there something wrong with Shindou-san today?" Suguru finally came out and asked Hiro during one of their breaks. "Not with his music or anything like that, but...he's been quite the shy one today. Has something happened?"
"Well...let's just say a little chipper bird sent a message to me saying that Shuichi and his novelist friend made up last night, after the concert."
Despite this cryptic remark, Suguru understood what the older teen meant; the smallest of smiles crept onto the normally serious boy's face. "...Is that so? Then we should make good progress in the next few days, even with Seguchi-san absent from the company. Still, the sudden change in Shindou-san's personality is almost baffling, really. I've never seen him quite so silent or serious."
Hiro smirked, too. "Neither have I."
The young guitarist, however, now had even more to think about regarding Shuichi's behavior than ever. In a slightly wistful mood last night, Hiro had internally wished that if Yuki let the boy back into his life, Shuichi would start to revert back to his normal self again.
But hope and actually happening are two different things...and, well, for the record, I doubt Shuichi will be getting happier any time soon, if at all ever. It's a pretty depressing, morbid thought, yes; but at least it's halfway realistic. And with Seguchi-san Missing In Action, with him being one of the few people able to perhaps help us find out whoever did this in his place, what kind of shred of hope is there even left for us to feed off of?
"Hiroshi-san?" Ryuichi had seemed to come out of nowhere, suddenly tugging the redhead's shirt sleeve innocently and snapping the young man out of his stupor. "...Hi! Where's Shu-chan, no da?"
"Uh...I have no idea, actually. He just left for a bathroom break...so we're taking one, too. Why; you need to talk to him about something? If it's not too private, I'll give him the message." Hiro gently pulled over a chair for Ryuichi and sat beside him, the faint vibrations of speech coming from inside the meetings room next door. "Only if you want to, of course."
The adult suddenly looked very awkward, finding the cheap laminate flooring of the room very interesting. "Oh...well, I just wanted to ask Shu-chan if everything went okay with Yuki-san last night...I saw him take Shu-chan home, and I haven't talked with Tatsuha-san yet...so I dunno what went on."
"You and me both, buddy." Hiro considered the idea of calling the blonde author right now, casting a soft glance at Shuichi's discarded backpack. "But, you know...maybe it's none of our business trying to learn this kind of stuff...maybe it's better we leave those two to whatever it is they need to do?"
Ryuichi placed Kumagorou gently on the table; then, folded his hands together and tucked them delicately under his chin. "...You don't sound to fond of the idea either, Hiroshi-san. I think you're trying to question yourself of the same matter, right?"
It seemed that dropping the bunny meant being more serious and perceptive; Hiroshi sighed, more to himself than anything. "You're a lot smarter than the impression you give everyone. People probably think you're an idiot savant for that, you know...how could you tell?"
"Your voice was bitter when you spoke of Yuki-san...and I've seen the way you look at Shu-chan. You love him, don't you?"
Before scraping whatever amount of dignity he left to be facially surprised, (though also mentally), Hiro looked head on at the piercing blue eyes that were quite capable of claiming all of his secrets. "...What do you--?!"
It was a smile that graced the boyish male's feature's next—but it was a pensive one, and not the harsh one Hiro had been expecting. "...I'm not going to judge you, Hiro. Don't worry about it...your feelings are probably secret to everyone except myself...no one else would be able to tell; but then again, not many people can tell the signs of a secret love as well as one who has gone through the same years ago."
"...Who was it? Your secret admired one in the past, I mean."
Ryuichi heaved a quiet sigh before continuing, abruptly looking much more his age in that moment. "...When I was younger, and when Nittle Grasper was at the peak of it's popularity, I was in love with Tohma. In almost the same situation as you and Shuichi are, I had been best friends with him for quite a few years, even then; and it was that very sentiment that caused me the most sorrow..."
"You know the feeling; that guilty, terrible emotion in your heart that says you should never attempt such a relationship...that telling that person you care for them would destroy the friendship you've treasured for that long time." Hiro nodded sympathetically—he understood exactly what the other man was trying to convey. "So I stayed quiet about it...and it's remained that way for as long as I could remember. I have never told him what I felt towards him, nor anything that would tamper the bond we had already formed."
"But...you want to know something, Hiroshi-san?" The youthfulness in Ryuichi's voice was returning, just as he reached for the pink bunny once more. "I got over it...Tohma wasn't really the fated person for me, and those feelings dulled with the passage of time. I'm perfectly content with moving on, now...and I'm ready to find someone else, maybe...if I'm lucky enough."
Grinning quietly, Ryuichi hugged Kumagorou. "So...I'm not saying that your feelings for Shu-chan are going to change or fade away, Hiroshi-san, no da! But...you'll know in your heart if he's the right person for you. You'll just know it. For one, thing, you won't stop thinking about him...but the most important thing about true love is that...
"Your feelings will never actually disappear, no matter what happens between the both of you...that's real love!"
Hiro couldn't stop the coming smile after Ryuichi's uplifting words, nor did he attempt to halt its progress across his face. "...Thanks, Ryuichi."
"Yuki! Tatsuha-san! I'm home!" Lightly shutting the door behind him, the teenager managed a little smile when he saw the younger Usuegi brother sitting at the little living room table, drawing on a sketchpad determinedly. "...Tatsuha-san, what're you working on now?"
"It's what I've BEEN working on for a few weeks now, actually." The dark-haired teen smirked, and pushed his project over for Shuichi to get a better look at. "See? I'm trying to color in Sakuma-san's face now."
The smaller male's eyes lit up in obvious surprise. "Waii...this is really nice, Tatsuha-san! Yuki never told me you were such a good artist! Does your family have a long line of celebrities in the arts or something?"
"Maybe in this generation." In a sibling-familiarity manner, Tatsuha ruffled the boy's bubblegum locks. "Now gimme back my picture of Ryuichi, squirt, or I might have to hurt you."
"Bite me." Shuichi teased with an easy grin—the happiest one he had displayed all week.
"Gladly." And with that, the teenager tackled his friend to the ground.
"Waahh! Hey, you're not being FAIR, Tatsuha-san!" Shuichi complained, pounding on Tatsuha's middle in protest. "For someone whose three years younger than me, you sure have a lot on me in height!"
"Hey, it's not my fault you're so damn small!" He countered, smirking as the boy continued to struggle. "Jeez, you're so feisty! No wonder Aniki likes you so much. Bet you squirm around a lot in bed, ne?"
"EXCUSE ME?!" Shuichi turned bright red, managing to flip the other young man over and turned the tables by bringing his hands to attack Tatsuha's defenseless stomach.
"HAHA! S-Shit, cut it out, man; that tickles! H-how'd you figure out my t-t-ticklish spot!?"
"I didn't. Mwahahaha...but I know NOW!" Shuichi smirked malevolently, letting out a mischievous laugh.
Tatsuha frowned. "Man, you're evil! The only person who's relatively nice to me now is Sakuma-san! You're not my favorite friend anymore!"
Finally fed up with the yelling and squealing from outside of his office, Eiri poked his head out of the door; and twitched over the sight before him. "...What the fuck are you mongoloids doing?"
Instead of actually answering the question, both young males scrambled up from their position and simultaneously pointed at one another in remonstration. "...HE started it!"
There was an awkward silence, and Yuki Eiri held his hand to a throbbing forehead. "...I'm living with two freaking idiots. God help me." Oh, well...
At least Shuichi's acting halfway normal. Not at all like he was yesterday...
--FLASHBACK--
"Yuki...I'm sorry about not being here lately..."
"Why? The house was pretty quiet without you gone. It was actually kind of peaceful."
"Mou, hidoi no!"
"..."
"..."
"...Ne, Yuki? Did you...really mean that?"
"...Shuichi. I was kidding, alright? And stop looking at me with that dumb look on your face. When you were gone...I did kind of miss you. So don't leave like that again without telling me, got it?"
"...Okay. Yuki? Thanks a lot. I love you."
"Hn."
I love you, too, baka.
"Well...good night, Yuki."
"...Good night."
--END FLASHBACK--
Should I have said I loved him back last night? He may try to hide it, but I can tell his mood hasn't improved too much yet. And I still don't know what happened to him...maybe his friends will know what's going on...I should talk with Hiro or whatever that guy's name is tomorrow. He was with Shuichi after everything happened, so he should know.
"Yuki? Is something wrong? You've been standing at the door with a blank look in your eyes for almost two minutes now." Shuichi stared up at his lover with wide, compassionate indigo orbs, never dispatching his eyes from the blonde's own stormy gold ones. "...Are you okay?"
"I should be asking you that, baka. Not that you have to tell me or anything if you don't want to."
Tossing a guilty look to the nearby side table, Shuichi frowned softly. "I'm sorry...I don't really feel ready to tell everyone yet...if that's okay."
"Quit the self-sacrificing act already." Eiri reprimanded. "It's annoying, and it's not needed. I understand if you need more time, alright? Stop worrying."
Because I hate that look you give me when you're trying to avoid the subject...and if you could stop doing that, then there might be a chance to get you to really smile again.
The doorbell suddenly rang, and Shuichi perked up. "Are? I wonder who could be out at night wanting to talk to us...maybe it's Hiro...?"
"Yeah, yeah, we're coming!" Tatsuha tiredly shouted after the second, more persistent chime. "Jeez, whoever it is, they'd better be worth my time..."
The sound of the door opening, followed by Tatsuha's surprised gasp followed.
"R-Ryuichi...!"
"Tatsuha-san! Hi, there! Kuma-san and I are happy to see you, too, no da!" Shuichi watched as the older vocalist glomped his surprised, 'housekeeper,' and quietly snickered upon seeing the young man's reaction to it. "Where's Shu-chan, na no da?"
"Right here!" Upon the older singer's request, Shuichi revealed himself and hugged Ryuichi in greeting. "Hey, you have something to talk to me about?"
Pulling away from his friend hastily, Ryuichi grinned lightly. "Oh, yeah; I do! Come outside with me, Shu-chan; let's talk outside, no da! Stay right here, okay, Yuki-san; Tatsuha-san? I promise we won't be too long..." The brown-haired adult continued to babble on and on, slowly making the progress on shoving poor Shuichi out of the door's way and decidedly shutting the wooden object.
Once the task was completed, however, the optimistic façade disappeared. "...So...what happened last night? With Yuki-san, I mean. Did he talk with you, Shuichi?"
Softly beaming, the teen nodded. "Uh-huh! I talked to Yuki last night...he was actually being pretty nice to me...although he still totally refused to open up to me completely. But I'm used to that by now..."
Ryuichi frowned in the similar way as his friend, as the smile disappeared slowly from Shuichi's visage in the same manner. "...I'm sorry. Have I said something bad, no da?"
"N-No, not at all, Ryuichi!" Shuichi reassured his hesitant doppelganger. "Anyway...what'd you want to talk with me about that you couldn't say in front of Yuki and Tatsuha-san?"
"Ah...well, it's about the latter of what you just said...I didn't want to talk about this in front of Tatsuha-san, so..." A bit abashed, Ryuichi glanced at the cheap carpeting that littered the apartment building's floors. "You'll keep it a secret, won't you? You won't tell anyone, will you, Shu-chan?"
Now concerned, Shuichi nodded vigorously. "Of course not, Ryuichi! But what is it? Has something happened?"
"...I never thought it would happen, but...I think I love him...Tatsuha-san, that is. I honestly love someone again...and I never imagined it would happen like this, but...I know for sure now."
Shell-shocked, the teen said absolutely nothing as the words sunk in.
Ryuichi...one of my best friends, loves Yuki's little brother...and I love Yuki...
Well. Talk about your awkward relationships.
KageKitsune16: Ah! Don't die on me yet, though! If you do, I'll have one less reviewer and the world will have one less person! XD Just kidding. Anyway, I'm glad you liked this chapter...and I'm also happy your expectations towards the characters were fulfilled. Oh, you're a RyuShu fan? I happen to like that coupling as well, and in some odd ways, I think it could work canon. The thing is...I prefer TatRyu, so that's what I plan on doing for Paradise. But if you want, I might do a RyuShu one-shot unrelated to this story. That actually sounds like a neat challenge! :D In any case, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter as well, and sankyuu for the review!
clari chan: Hey, there, friendly reviewer! Haven't seen you in a bit! - I'm glad to hear from you, though; and I'm quite happy that you enjoyed the last few chapters. Yes, Tatsuha is romantic, but he's also a bit more mature in this fic than in the actual series...I hope you don't mind. :) Well, here's some more ShuYuki-ness for you in this chapter, and sankyuu for this review!
goku the saru: Aw...I wasn't exactly sure you could put it that way; but, yeah, I guess Yuki was pretty nice in the last chapter. :D I hope it wasn't in a badly-done, OOC manner, though...! Was it? =0 In any case, please enjoy this chapter too, and sankyuu for the review!
Kitty In The Box: Wow, you've addressed a lot of characters in that review! XD Well, I guess I'll take all the issues one at a time. Yuki WAS meant to be softer in that moment where he spoke with Shuichi...for me, I honestly think that Shuichi is the only person who can melt that icy blonde's heart. Is it just me, or are there some blondes in anime who have similarly cold, jaded personalities? I can name three off the top of my head, actually: Yuki of Gravi, Sanzou of Saiyuki, and Hisoka of Yami No Matsuei. It seems like a following pattern in the anime I'm, beginning to like more and more. Maybe that's just me, though. And Ryuichi IS awesome, especially an angst!Ryuichi. :D Yes, it's always the happy ones who make angst look the best, isn't it? Mika and Tohma's baby...yes, I'm quite happy for them, too; and that was a great comment you made about him and his, 'Eiri-san.' XD And Tatsuha is always awesome, so I agree with you about him, too. Sankyuu for the review!
kanilla: ; You don't have to beg, dear; I'll probably be putting Ryuichi and Tatsuha together, anyway; and after this chapter, I'm sure you're assured of that! I'm happy you liked my chapters so far, as well as this one, and I hope you'll stick around for more. Ah, Hitomi-chan, the cute little baby, is someone I hope to introduce in later chapters...because she'll be such a happy distraction from all the angst and seriousness, ne? I'll keep at it, then! Sankyuu for the review!
chibichibi-nekochan: Oh, you've reviewed all my chapters so quickly, sweetheart! Thank you for that courtesy act! I'm glad you're here to check out the world of Paradise, and I hope you'll stick around! Oh, you like SetoJou?? Me, too! They have such interesting chemistry, and I happen to love the pairings, shonen-ai or not, that have bickering in them. Makes for interesting fic interaction. :D Although, I can't say I've written ANYTHING in the Yuu-Gi-Oh fandom before, but I might consider it after seeing your profile. Sankyuu for the review!
deppfan1016: You liked my Ryuichi?! Oh, thank you, thank you, Depp-san! :D And yes, that's how I felt about many characters that are usually so happy and smiley; there is usually great pain and hardship that had to originate from their pasts for them to put up such a façade. It's almost a sure thing, most of the time, in those kinds of characters' cases. Yuki-san's kindness to Shu, I think, came at just the right moment...the poor boy was really going to give up hope on being normal, and Yuki coming in to comfort him was just what he needed to perk him up, if only a small bit. You can see that evidence in this chapter, where Shu-chan is still quiet, but more content with things. As far as the whole, 'pedophile,' issue, I'm happy you got a kick out of my response...although you DID seem a bit genki-er in that review from before. :D In any case, whether you've calmed down or not, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and sankyuu for the review!
Ochako107: JAKUKIE-SAN! You've finally got an account here, dear?! I'm so happy for you! I checked out your story, which was very good, btw, and reviewed it, so if you haven't already, please check out my response to that wonderful little idea. Yes, I was safe during the hurricane, if not developing a slight case of cabin fever. And my freaky cough and illness is still annoying me, even as I'm typing this... TT EBIL COLD, or whatever the heck this thing is. And I'm glad you liked the Shu/Yuki interaction, and I hope to see you next chapter! Sankyuu for the review!