Awakenings pt 3
"What the hell are you doing here?"
I was being shaken awake taken out of my wonderful dream by a very
angry voice.
Those words echoed in my mind. I gasped thinking for a split second
that Pete had found me at my Jack's house. For a split second I was
afraid. Thinking he would hurt me again the sting from my cheek
started to throb. For a split second I thought I deserved this
treatment as a punishment for all the mistakes I had made to screw
up three lives. I started to pull back. I would not be harmed again.
But as I regained consciousness I started to recognize the voice.
It was Jack's. He wouldn't hurt me. He would be angry but would
never hurt me. This wasn't in his nature, not like the maniac I had
left behind at the hospital. It was as I ve dreamed, he would be
there for me.
I opened my eyes and saw the anger there. I had never seen this
anger focused on me. It was always one of our enemies or someone who
had crossed him and now I was on the receiving end of this anger.
I let out a whimper afraid to say anything that would upset him
more. He must have heard me and let me go.
He towered over me. I looked up at him and felt a shiver go down my
spine. I pulled his sweater close around me and he recognized what
I was wearing. I saw the anger leave his face and he sat down in
front of me. I was afraid of what he was going to do. He pulled me
towards him and hugged me. I was startled. I thought he hated me.
Hated me for not waiting for him, hated me for turning to another
man for comfort and love, hated me for accepting another man's ring
and hurting him in the process.
I thought I had screwed up any chance of us being together. But the
only man I ever loved was holding me. I clung to him thinking it was
a dream. I could feel my tears begin to fall. I could feel his
breath deepening and he whispered: "Are you hurt? Why did you run
away?"
His compassion undid me and I swore that I would do anything in my
power to win him back.
The alcohol took away my inhibitions, it was giving me the courage I
needed to do what I should have done long ago. The way he held me
comforted me in my belief that the last year had been a terrible
mistake.
I knew what I wanted. I wanted Jack.
I was going to fight for him. Kerry would not have him. He was
mine. I needed him in my life, if he still wanted me then I was
going to use any means possible to have him and the alcohol was the
last push I needed to show him.
I turned my head, found his lips and started to kiss him. First
softly, I wanted to savor, to feel the taste of him. Then deeper. He
started to respond. My mind was fuzzy but I knew he wanted this as
much as I did. We were lika a time bombwaiting to explode.
I continued my onslaught, placing small kisses on his face and
nuzzling his neck. He mumbled to stop but I continued. He turned
away and became rigid but I continued trying to breakdown his
defenses. I knew he wanted this I could feel the heat radiate from
him. I could hear his breathing deep and staggered. He wanted me. I
started to nibble his ear and started to plead with him to love me
when he pulled back and said no.
No.
He said no.
Out of frustration I tried again but he pulled away and told me to
stop.
The more aggressive I got the more he fought back. He pulled away
and I could see the disgust written on his face.
My heart shattered. I bit my lip to stop it from quivering. I had
made a fool of myself I had deceived myself into thinking he still
had feelings for me. I needed to regroup and get away. I stopped
struggling with him and pulled away. I tried to stand to run away
but ended up falling onto his lap. He tried to help me but I yelled
at him not to touch me. How could he not love me when all my
thoughts, my heart were his? How could he refuse me when I was
giving him my whole being to him?
I pushed him away and finally managed to stand only to have the
deck begin to spin. I closed my eyes to stop the spinning and felt
him encircle my waist with his hands to holdme steady. He asked
if I was okay.
I yanked his hands from me and said I didn't need his help. That I
could stand on my own two feet. I didn't want his pity. I was going
to let him go back to his girlfriend and then it hit me. His girlfriend,
oh god, I'd lost him and he'd moved on. I was angry and
lashed out at him.
I started to yell at him and asked what he was doing here.
He was supposed to be "fishing" with his new girlfriend.
I turned away to wipe the tears from my eyes.
I didn't want him to see me like this. I needed
him to go away. I turned to see if he was still there and he looked
angry again but I didn't care. After all, I wasn't worth it. If I
had been worth it then he would have returned my kiss. I was
offering him my love, I had thrown myself at him two minutes ago and
I was shot down. I needed to hurt him for the hurt I felt. The only
man that I would ever love didn't want me, he had turned me down. I
was heartbroken but it was evident that he no longer wanted anything
to do with me. I could see the disgust in his face. Or was it pity?
I wanted him to suffer now. Deep down he would feel how I felt.
The alcohol was giving me the courage to defy him. I wanted to hurt
him as he had hurt me. I wanted more but he had stopped me from
showing him how much I loved him. Always my friend never anything
more I wanted his love but had squandered it. So I did what he did
best, remove myself from the situation.
I was struggling to walk but started to sway again. I tried to keep
my focus on him but there were too many of him in front of me. In a
corner of my mind a small voice was yelling at me toshut up, and wait
until alcohol effects had vanished. But I was too pissed.
He yelled back, "what am I doing here? The last time I looked this
was still my house. The reason I'm not "fishing" with Kerry is
because I've been looking for you all over Colorado Springs as are
all of Colorado Springs and SGC's finest. You left the hospital like
a bat out of hell after your little fight with that bastard fiancé
of yours. He dared to hit you and what did you do? Nothing! You let
him hurt you at a time when you needed him. If anyone should be
upset here it's me."
"I should be asking why you broke into MY house, took My best bottle
of whiskey from MY cabinet and proceeded to get plastered on MY deck
while your dad lies on a hospital bed and you, his only daughter
who claims to love him, is here instead of there showing him that you care."
His words stabbed me like daggers. I gasped and moan no. My hands
flew to my face.
My dad, I had forgotten why I was here on the deck. Why I had run.
My dad was in critical condition when I left. I knew why he was here.
He was looking for me to tell me my father was dead. I started to
back up from him and shaking my head no. I let out a cry that turned
into a repeated scream of no. Jack was trying to calm me down and
get a hold of me but I didn't want his pity. I needed to leave. I
turned to climb down and didn't realize how close I was to the edge
and lost my balance and started to fall.
I closed my eyes. I didn't care if I got hurt. I deserved this. For
abandoning my father, for hurting Jack for leading Pete to believe I
could be happy with him, for everything I had done to these men in my
life. What ever happened to me I deserved it. All I had succeeded in
was to hurt him again, make him mad at me again, and disappoint him
again.
Strong arms enclosed me. I sagged against him and heard him cursing
at me. Yelling out my name asking what the hell was I doing. We fell
back onto the deck floor. I was trying to pull away from him. I
didn't want him to see me like this
.
I pleaded with him to please let me go. I needed to leave that I
wouldn't be a bother to him any longer.
I had always been in control yet in the past hours I hadn't been. He
held me tight, not letting me go, telling me to stop it. I was not
in my right mind and what made me think the solutions to my problems
were at the bottom of a bottle. He said he thought I was smarter
than that.
I looked up at him. He had tears rolling down his cheeks. That was
my undoing. I didn't deserve this man. He was always there to pick
up the pieces in all of our lives never asking for anything in
return just always being there when he was needed. I deserved the
look of disgust he'd given me. I loved him so much, how could I have
been such a torment for him, when all I wanted was to be with him,
comfort him take his pain and make it mine. I finally realized that
was why he did what he did.
I stared at him and wiped the tears from his face, whispered sorry.
I leaned into him he pulled me into his lap. He rubbed my back and
let me cry. I held onto his shirt and kept whispering that I was
sorry for hurting him, for making such a mess of our lives, for ever
walking through the SGC doors and for being such a failure at
relationships.
I shook when I cried but he was there to soothe me and tell me it
was going to be all right. That he was sorry for yelling at me. That
he had lost his head only because he was relieved to find me after
searching for so long. He'd been terribly anxious at not being able
to find me.
I cried into his chest and held tight. I cried for all that was
buried deep in me, the love I had tried to hide, the raw pain that I
had dulled with hiding behind the regulations. The choices I had
made that had only caused me pain, and pain to those around me. I
was tired of being the perfect soldier/scientist. I cried for the
life I really wanted deep down. I wanted a husband, children, a
house and even a dog.
I started to hiccup and my crying started to subside.
It was cold and I started to shiver. He noticed this and opened his
jacket to let me snuggle closer and warm up. He waited for me to
speak. He would sit like this forever and not complain about his
knees. This was what I had always wanted. I knew he loved me. He
wouldn't be out looking for me if he didn't care.
I whispered his name.
He pulled back and looked at me with his soul searching eyes and
asked me what I needed.
I wanted to shout that I needed him. I wanted him to tell me that he
still loved me. I wanted to have his children and live with him till
the day I took my last breath.
I swallowed and kept my thoughts to myself. This wasn't the time or
place to address this other things were priority now. I asked him
if my father was dead and was the reason he was looking for me.
I held my breath and looked down. I waited to hear if my life was
going to change. If he was going to tell me that I had missed the
opportunity to spend the last few hours of my father's life with him
instead of drowning my sorrows here.
He lifted my chin and I tried to fight the tears from falling.
"Sam your father is still alive the last time I talked to Teal'c
that was what he told me. Your brother Mark is here he flew in from
San Diego and Daniel and General Hammond were there to pick him up.
I got him clearance to see Dad. The President gave him special
permission since the ward your father's in is off limits to
civilians. We have to get to the hospital Sam but I need you to get
yourself together. Look at yourself, you're drunk and that bastard
left you with one nasty bruise."
I turned away. I had forgotten what Pete had done. He had called my
brother to tell him my father was on death's door and had gotten
upset with me when I started to yell at him for interfering. Mark
was here in Colorado Springs. Great this was just what I needed.
Another lecture from him on why Samantha Carter could not keep a
man.
He was the only one that had liked Jonas and had actually blamed me
for the break-up. Saying that if I wasn't so wrapped up in my work I
would have seen the great man Jonas was. Now that I had broken up
with his best buddy Pete what would he think of me.
I snapped out of it. My father was still alive but for how much
longer? I needed to get to the hospital.
He stood up and I tried to stand. I was still tipsy. I accepted
that but I needed to sober up quickly. The alcohol was making it
hard for me to focus. But it had made me forget for a little while
the problems I had created.
I looked at Jack. Was he ashamed of me? My mind started to work over
time. Why would he care about my appearance? My father would never
know the difference and Mark could kiss my ass for putting me in the
situation with his precious friend Pete.
I pulled away from him and he was startled. I started to walk and
did it without his help. I said I was going home to shower and then
going over to the hospital. I thanked him for the clearance for Mark
but I had relieved him of any more duties. I didn't want to burden
him any longer with the drama that was my life. Without thinking
that I had made his life a part of my drama, and that my actions
were dragging him deeper into it.
He stood up, stared down at me and I could see he was angry again.
"So you're dismissing me Colonel, after your little disappearing act
earlier and then your confession to me this afternoon? I'm supposed
to walk away and pretend I don't care for you. You're the one that
put us in this position and now that you're back in control you
brush me aside. Well I don't think so. We have lots and I stress on
the lots to discuss. But now is not the time. I need you to sober up
now and get your ass back into shape. I don't want to bring you up
on charges Colonel so don't push me I will. Let's get downstairs and
get you some coffee. Do I make myself clear Colonel? Do I have to
repeat myself?"
I tried not to sway but it was difficult. He was such an arrogant
pig having to go back to ranks to show he was superior. He had been
such a gentleman a while ago and now he was back to the Jack O'Neill
asshole. Why couldn't he just let me go? He did his good deed for
the day. I had enough of people telling me what to do. I'd show him.
I was my own person and if I didn't want to listen to him then I
wouldn't.
I walked around him and defiantly picked up the bottle and took
another swig of the whiskey.
He crossed the deck in three strides, yanked the bottle from my hand
and flung it over the side. I heard it shatter and turned to look at
him, I placed my hands on my hips and yelled "There, I defied a
direct order from my superior. Write me up. I'm sick and tired of
people telling me what to do. I've been doing it all my life and I'm
through. I left the hospital because that control freak had stepped
over the line when I didn't want his help and now you're telling me
what to do when I don't want your help? You know what, why don't I
make this easy for you and resigned as of this second."
I fished through my pocket and found the letter I had typed up
earlier to give to Jack. If he had given me any indication earlier
when I had come to see him that if I retired and came back as a
consultant, would he give us a chance? I was willing to make that
leap.
I threw the letter at his face and pushed him aside. I was through
talking to him I was going hometo clean myself up and going to
my father.
I heard him rip the letter in half and heard him behind me I quicken
my step and had made it to the ladder but was pulled back and
whipped around.
"This is unacceptable. Do you hear me Colonel? You are not resigning
I wont allow it. If I have to pull ever favor I have outstanding you
will not retire. Now listen to me. I will not repeat myself. We are
going downstairs you will go straight to the bathroom and into the
shower. If I have to strip you of your clothes then I will. I will
find you something to wear and you will drink lots of coffee and
water. I will drive you to the hospital and you will not say one
single word unless I ask you too. Do I make myself clear Colonel
Carter? Or do I have to demonstrate that I am not playing games
anymore?"
He had grabbed my upper arms before he started his tirade. He was
angry I could tell by the way he spoke. It was low and menacing it
was meant to intimidate me and had worked but I wouldn't show that
to him.
I yelled at him that he wasn't my father or my keeper. That I was
retiring, that I had enough of saving the world and I wanted out. I
was tired of fighting I wanted to be left alone. I asked him to
please let me go. I was wasting time arguing with him here. My mind
was made up.
He said I wasgoing to behave and do what he said and there would
be no room for discussion. When I didn't answer, he said "fine well
do it the hard way."
Before I knew it he had picked me up and thrown me over his shoulder
and started to climb down the ladder. I was kicking and bellowing
for him to put me down. He said if I continued we would both fall.
I stopped till he got on solid ground and started to kick again. He
swatted me on my behind and I howled at the pain. He said if I was
going to act like a child he was going to treat me like one.
I was cursing up a storm and could have sworn I had heard a chuckle
when he opened his bathroom door. He dropped me in the shower and
proceeded to turn on the cold water to sober me up. The spray of
cold water was too much, I screeched telling him what I thought of
his little power play.
I tried to get up but each time I did he pushed me down and told me
to cool off. I stopped struggling after the third time. I was wet
and when he saw the fight leave me he said he was going to the
kitchen to start the coffee. If he came back with the spare clothes
and I was still not undressed, he would do it for me.
He left and I was sitting on the floor of the shower with my clothes
on and soaked to the bone. I wanted to cry and laugh at the whole
situation. It was a humbling experience. I got up and started to
take off the wet clothes, placing them outside the shower. The water
started to sober me up, finally undressed and adjusted the water. I
wanted warmth, the water pounding on my back was doing the trick. I
washed my hair and body, turned off the water and stepped out,
wrapped myself in a towel. The steam of the shower had fogged up the
mirror, I wiped to clear it.
I look at myself and started to examine my face. My eyes were
bloodshot from the crying and the alcohol I had consumed. My head
was starting to pound. I touched the back of my head and felt the
beginning of a bump. It must have happened when Pete had slapped me
so hard I had fell back and hit my head. I then stared at my cheek
that was starting to bruise. My reminder of the mistake I had made
of my life. I trace the bruise and didn't hear the door open; I was
too occupied feeling sorry for me. I felt him stand behind me, turn
my cheek towards him and heard him curse. I swallowed hard and
closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his pity or disgust. But, I was
happy he was here, only he could be.
He asked me if I was hurt anywhere else.
I nodded yes and pointed to the back of my head. He started to feel
through my hair and felt the bump. I hissed out in pain.Opening
my eyes, I saw his face through the mirror, I could see him tense up
and mumble something. He had brought in a pair of small sweats and a
large sweatshirt. I leaned back until I felt him and placed my head
under his chin and closed my eyes. I could feel the tears wanting to
fall. I screwed up and had admitted it to him and everyone around
me. My life was up in the air and all I ever wanted had been lost to
me. He pulled me back towards him and placed his hands around my
waist. He whispered too me that he was sorry for yelling at me and
to forget about retiring; he was not going to lose the best thing
that had happened to the SGC on his watch. I turned enough to catch
his lips with mine and gave him a light kiss and thanked him for
everything.
He stiffened again. I pulled away, turned around and said I was
sorry, I wouldn't do that again. He was about to say something when
I grabbed the clothes and walked to the his bedroom. I couldn't help
myself I wanted to show him I was sorry. I wanted him so badly, I
needed him, even though I was so mad at his authority game he'd
pulled on me earlier I wanted his arms around me, his lips on my lips,
but I had screwed it up again. He'd never tolerate it. I'd better
act as he said, and wait for the events to unfold.
The sweats had to have been Cassie's or were they Kerry's. I stared
at them and decided not to wear them if they were hers. I started to
rummage through his drawers and found a pair of his I put them on,
the t-shirt and sweatshirt. I looked ridiculous. In oversized
clothes bloodshot eyes and the mother of all bruises starting to
form on my face but I'd be damn if I was going to wear her clothes.
When did I start to be jealous of someone I didn't know?? When you
found out he was dating the man you could ever love.
There was a knock on the door. I turned to open it.
He looked at me and looked at the sweats on the bed. He asked if
they didn't fit I told him I wasn't going to wear Kerry's clothes so
I borrowed some of his. He shook his head and mumble stubborn woman.
He opened the door and said the coffee was ready and that he would
put my shoes and pants in the dryer.
I cuffed the sweats so I wouldn't fall. I made it to the kitchen and
poured myself a cup of coffee. I went to go sit in the living room.
The coffee was good and I savored every sip.
He came and sat next to me, handing me an ice pack. I put the cup
down and put the pack on my face.
I sat there and started to feel cold. He saw me shiver, got up and
pulled out an afghan from the closet. I wrapped myself in it and
avoided him. I was still in that mix of anger and embarrassment of
what had happened earlier. I was sobering up and was thinking
straight again I needed to go I needed to get as far away from him
as possible. I needed to heal what I had created.
He tried to get me to talk but I didn't respond. He got up to use
his phone when he knew I would not be speaking to him. I tried not
to eavesdrop but heard him speak to Teal'c. What I could hear my
father was still in critical condition and nothing had changed. Mark
was asking for me and was demanding to know why I wasn't there. The
last nail in the coffin, my brother was asking to settle the scores.
When he had no clue to what actually had happened.
I wanted to avoid him but I knew it was futile. I pulled my feet up
onto the couch and laid my head on my knees. I put the ice pack on
the back of my head to see if the pounding would stop. I closed my
eyes and tried to make sense of what was left of my life.
Jack came back and sat next to me. I still avoided him. He spoke and
said my dad was still in critical condition but was holding. General
Hammond had contacted the Tok'ra hopeful that they would send
someone to help him. He touched my arm and I looked up. I could see
his concern and I asked if we could go to the hospital I wanted to
spend as much time as possible with my dad.
He said in a little bit, he wanted me to drink some more coffee and
to wait for my pants and shoes to dry. I didn't argue with him. My
fight was gone. I got up and took my cup and filled it with more
coffee. He followed me into the kitchen. He sat on a stool in front
of me and asked if I wanted some aspirin.
I nodded. He got up, got me two and handed them to me with a glass
of water.
I sat next to him and whispered my thanks. He was staring at me. I
could feel him looking right through me, the heat of his intense
stare not wavering. I started to speak, I told him I wish none of
this had happened, I wish I could just wake up and it be all a
nightmare, that I was sorry to have been such an inconvenience in
his life.
I could see his hands they were curled into fists. I said I was
sorry if I touched a nerve but he didn't know how it felt to have
someone they love not love them back and single handedly pushed them
out of their life.
He slammed his hands on the counter and I was startled and dropped
the cup I was holding. It fell and shattered on the floor.
"I don't know how it feels? Is that what you're saying Carter?
You're sitting there wallowing in your guilt and sorrow of the mess
you've made of your life and you're telling me I don't know how it
feels? You think I don't know how it feels to have your heart ripped
out of your chest and handed to you and still have to smile and
pretend it doesn't hurt? I'm suppose to stand back and watch the
only person I dared let into my heart tell me she is seeing someone
else and then decides to marry this person even though I know he
isn't good enough for her? That deep down I die a little every day
knowing I can't have you in my life and trying to pick up the pieces
that are left and try to make something of it. I don't know how it
feels to have my emotions played with when I decide to start a life
with someone else and you decided you want me after all and ask me
to forget all the hurt and pain you caused me?"
He was shaking with the anger he was screaming at me. He looked
ready to kill. The cool aloof Jack O'Neill was gone. This was a side
I never saw and it frightened me.
"Carter I've been acting like everything is peachy for so long that
I started to believe it. You have no right to say what you did to me
today, or to kiss me like I've wanted you to do for so long and
expect me to fall to my knees and beg you to have me. I don't work
that way. No, Carter you hurt me. I thought we had something that
was pure and perfect. Something special that would wait until we
were ready. I don't think I could forgive you for that, it would
hurt too much to try again. So if you're expecting me to profess my
love for you and to tell you that I'll be here when you're ready, I
don't know if I can say that I'm too old for this"
Jack got up and walked away. My heart was breaking. What had I done
to him? Why didn't I see that I had wounded him to the point I could
not take it back. I bit my lip to stop me from crying out. Tears
were starting to fall down my cheeks. The raw emotion he had spoken
with was heart wrenching. I never knew he cared this much. I thought
it was me who was the one that cared the most but I was wrong and
now I was to pay by losing the man I would die for.
I got up and started to pick up the broken pieces of the cup that I
had dropped. I went in search of my pants and they were semi dry. I
put them on and put on my still soggy shoes. I went in search of my
keys to my bike. I needed to leave, to give him what he wanted: me
out of his life. I was no longer welcomed here and it was all my
fault.
I looked all over the living room and the dining room, when I looked
up Jack was there holding them in his hand and putting them in his
pocket.
I asked for them and told him I was going to the hospital. He said
no, that I was in no condition to drive. He was taking me and I was
not to argue.
He opened the front door and I followed him out. I climbed into his
truck, facing away from him. I was ashamed of the pain I had
afflicted on him by dating and accepting a marriage proposal from a
man I never truly loved. Try as I might I could never make up for
what I did, for the pain I caused. I wanted to disappear.
We arrived at the hospital without saying one word to one another. I
climbed out and started to run to the entrance. He followed close
behind, caught up to me at the elevator. He grabbed my hand and I
pulled back. I didn't want to be close to him I needed space. He
called out to me and I ignored him. We got into the elevator and
made it to my father's floor. I don't know why I didn't talk, was it
really because I couldn't or because I the words that were stuck in
my throat were unspeakable.
We stepped out and saw General Hammond, Mark and Pete. I stopped,
Jack bumped into me and asked what was wrong. I kept staring ahead
and he looked to where I was staring and saw Pete.
He pushed me behind him and whispered the bastard had the nerve to
be here after what he did and he was going to finish it now once and
for all. I grabbed his arm and pleaded for him not to do anything,
that I would handle it.
Pete looked up and saw me and Jack arguing and started to walk up to
us.
"That's the man that attacked me earlier I want you to arrest him
for assault," Pete was saying to the two MP's that had materialized.
They threw Jack against the wall and he started to curse a blue
streak, calling Pete every bad word in the book but the one that
made him flinch was coward.
I pleaded with the MP's to let Jack go and Mark came up to me and
started to yell at me wondering were the hell had I been and why was
I defending the man that had assaulted my fiancé who only wanted to
help.
I was speechless. What had Pete told Mark and the officers to make
them believe that Jack was at fault? I looked to General Hammond and
asked him to do something and asked where Teal'c and Daniel were.
General Hammond said that they were in custody for the assault on
Pete. He was pressing charges on them also. Mark continued to shout
at me and Pete grabbed my hand and tried to pull me away. I yanked
my hand away from him and went to help Jack who was being led away
to the elevator.
I told the MP's to stop that it was all a big mistake. They stopped
and I looked to Pete then to Jack. I said I wanted to speak to my
fiancé.
Mark shut up and I saw Jack turn away. Pete just smiled at General
Hammond and Jack. He took me by the hand and walked down the hall.
He said he forgave me for my behavior earlier and that if I kept
quiet he would think about not pressing charges on my friends. He
said that Mark believed him that the guys had instigated the attack
and that I had been hurt in the tussle.
He started to squeeze my hand tightly and said that I should never
run from him because he would always find me and since he was an
officer of the law everyone would believe him instead of me.
He pulled my ring out of his pocket and placed it on my finger. He
tried to kiss me but I moved away. I could see the anger starting to
simmer again.
I asked if he was through, he said yes. I took a deep breath and
said I wanted to make it clear that I needed no excuse for my
behavior earlier. He was to blame for all that had happen. I
reminded him that he wasn't the reason I had run from the hospital,
I needed to get my head straight and to really think of the
decisions I had made the last couple of months.
I told him that if he didn't drop the charges on my friends that I
was going to press charges on him for assaulting me. The guys were
only trying to protect me since I was incapacitated at the time. I
also reminded him how law enforcement frown on there own people
breaking there laws.
I could see him shaking with anger. I stepped back and took off his
ring and threw it at him. I reminded him that it would be a cold day
in hell before I would ever marry him. I was terribly afraid he
would hit me again, but deep down I knew that Jack was here, and he
wouldn't allow him to do so. He would protect me if anything
happened.
I turned and told the officers to let Jack go, that Pete was not
pressing charges. I looked at Jack. He had seen everything.
I heard a scream and knew it was Pete ready to finish the job he had
started earlier. I stepped back right into Jacks arms. He pulled me
aside away from Pete.
I heard what sounded like a punch and someone falling. I looked
around Jack to see Mark cradling his hand and standing over Pete. He
was telling him off and if he ever laid a finger on me he would
personally kick his ass.
I looked at Mark and saw that he finally realized what the truth
was. Jack called the MP's over to escort Pete off the premises and
told them to release Daniel and Teal'c. I was still behind Jack and
leaning against the wall.
Mark came up to us but Jack would not leave. He had taken my hand
and was still holding it.
I heard Mark call to me but I didn't want to answer him. Jack
squeezed my hand and I looked up. I looked to Mark and he was trying
to find the words. I let go of Jack's hand and went up to Mark.
He took me into his arms and started to apologize for jumping to the
wrong conclusion and that he wished he knew what a jerk Pete was
before he set us up.
I was still in Mark's arm when I looked up to see Jack looking at
me. I mouthed thank you to him and he nodded.
The elevators opened, Daniel and Teal'c rushed up to us. Daniel
asked if I was okay but winced when he saw the bruise on my face.
Teal'c was livid. He wanted to go down and finish the job he had
started on Pete. Jack told him what Mark had done and was slightly
pleased. Mark had his arm around my shoulder and I leaned in to
take in his strength. I introduce him to Daniel, Teal'c and Jack.
He apologize for what he was led to believe was the truth and said
he was sorry for believing Pete instead of them.
General Hammond came up to us. I looked up and was surprised to see
Anise. I gasped and Jack looked to see what I was staring at. He
smiled and introduced Dr. Anise to Mark and said that dad was in
good hands.
I said I wanted to see my dad and Mark said he would come along I
said no that Dr. Anise and I would go in alone and then when she was
done examining him he could come in.
We walked to the room and Dad was laying there with tubes and
machinery helping him breathe. I could feel the tears swelling in my
eyes, my throat dry, never had he been that vulnerable even before
he blended with Selmak.
Anise took out a healing device and started to wave it above him. I
waited to see what her prognosis would be. She stopped and said the
damage was very severe but with a couple of sessions he would pull
survive. I collapse onto the chair and started to cry. Anise was
taken aback, not knowing what to do. She stepped out. I was still
crying when I felt two strong hands on my shoulders. I grabbed one
of the hands and looked up. It was Jack I told him what Anise had
said and he smiled saying that the snakes were at least good for
something. I snorted and let out a small laugh but started to cry
again. He came down to my level, opened his arms and said, "come
here".
I leaned in and I held him. Anise came in and said she needed to
start the procedure I nodded my head and thanked her for helping out.
Jack held my hand and we watched Anise start the healing process.
When she was done with the first session she asked Jack if there was
somewhere she could rest and Jack showed her out to another room.
Mark came in and I asked if the Dr. Anise had given him the good
news. He nodded yes and pulled a chair next to me to sit. He took
my hand in his and squeezed it.
I came close to him and placed my head on his shoulder. Mark started
to speak saying he was sorry for yelling at me earlier, but the guys
had just given him the run around and when he had heard Pete's
story, all the resentment he had for the military and for my friends
just boiled over and he had let his emotions rule him.
He said that dad had spoken about my friends and how lucky I was to
have them watching my back. He said that I should have been the one
to call not Pete about our father. He knew there was more to the
story but he was willing to wait. That maybe when dad recovered we'd
all go down to San Diego with him to recuperate and to get to know
one another again. I was crying and he put his arm around me,
saying he was sorry that he was such a sorry excuse for a brother
and that he would try to be better.
I told him I would love to spend time with him and Dad once he
recovered and reconnecting sounded wonderful.
We sat there most of the night. Leaving only when Anise had to check
up on Dad's progress we went out and sat with the guys Mark went to
call his wife to give her an update. Jack sat next to me and asked
if I was okay.
I told him I was fine and that everything would be alright. I then
asked if I could have some time off. That I wanted to help my father
recuperate and Mark had asked us to come to San Diego with him to re-
connect.
He said he could arrange that. I took his hand and thanked him. I
told him if he wanted to leave that it was okay. I knew Kerry was
probably wondering what was going on and that dad was out of the
woods and would recover and if he wanted he could go on his trip.
He said that he wasn't going anywhere that he had talked to Kerry to
update her with what was going on. I listened but tried not to show
the hurt on my face. I had to be brave to show him that it was okay
with me that I had lost him to another woman and I had to accept
that. He deserved the happiness she was giving him since I could
never commit to him.
I let go his hand and stood up. I told him I needed some air and he
quipped that I wasn't running off again. I told him no that I was
through running and that I was facing things as they came. I would
not make the same mistakes again. I bent down and kissed his cheek
and whispered thank you. I stood and left, I had to, I needed to.
I walked away knowing if I turned I would not be able to leave him
that I would not be able to do what I had to do to achieve happiness.
TBC