For those of you who have been waiting for this...I'm sorry it took me so long to update.
I sat on my bed a few days later. I wasn't really doing anything, just thinking. I was remembering my date with Justin. Why had I opened up like that? And why did I sleep with him at the party? What kind of person was I becoming?
The phone ringing persistently next to me interrupted my thoughts. "Hello," I said, picking it up.
"Hey, it's Kyle," the voice said.
Kyle Spencer? "Hey..." I said, trying to remember why he would be calling me.
"Did you have fun at the party?"
Oh...that's right...he was one of the guys I danced with. "Yeah, I had a blast."
"I was wondering if you wanted to hook up later?"
"What makes you think I would want to do that?" I asked.
"Well...I saw you go upstairs with Justin. And, believe it or not...I know you're into that sort of thing."
I hesitated. I didn't really want to, but I felt like I didn't have much of a choice. I haven't been a virgin for years, so it wasn't like I had anything to lose. "Alright."
"Awesome."
"Are your parents home?''
"No."
"I'll be over soon, then," I said, hanging up the phone.
I stood and crossed the room to my closet. I pulled out a skirt and a tank top and put them on. I ran downstairs and started toward Kyle's house.
I knocked on the door and he answered within seconds...so pathetic.
"You look hot," he said.
"Thanks." I walked past him and into the house.
We made out for a while and then he started getting physical. I wanted to stop him but I couldn't...I'd come here to screw him, hadn't I?
I walked home around five, when we had finished. I hugged my arms, feeling degraded. I wanted to cry...but I couldn't. I didn't understand. Why am I like this? Why do I act like a slut...why do I sleep with anyone who's willing to screw me?
I went upstairs to my room and changed into a pair of track pants and a tank top, wanting to disappear.
I sat on my bed, and wiped a tear from my cheek. The phone rang, and I stared at it. I didn't want to answer, fearing it would be another guy wanting me to sleep with him. Slowly, I answered the phone.
"Hey, Breanna," Justin's voice came from the other end.
"Hey," I said.
"Are you okay? You sound upset."
"I'm fine," I said, trying my best to keep my voice from breaking.
"Are you sure?"
"I said I was okay!" I snapped, then calmed down again. "I'm sorry...I'm just sort of upset that's all."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Well, I called to see if you wanted to come over for dinner."
"Tonight?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said.
"Well, Mom's at work today. She wont be home for a while," I said. "So, I guess I could."
"Cool," he said. "Can you be here at six?"
"Yeah," I said.
"See you then."
"Bye," I hung up. I sighed and flopped down on the bed. How could I face him now?
I took a shower and blow-dried my hair, styling it so it was wavy. I decided on a pair of pink track pants and a matching tank top with sneakers.
I walked to Justin's house and rang the doorbell.
A woman, about my height, with long, dark wavy hair answered the door. "Hi," she said with a smile. "You must be Breanna."
"Yeah," I said.
She moved aside to let me in. "I'm Justin's mom...but you can just call me Manny."
