Disclaimer: The day I own Transformers is the day pigs sprout wings and create the techno-polka music genre. Wouldn't those be some freakin' awesome pigs? I know I'd want one.
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"Hey, Scavenger! Get up! Scavs, Scavs, Scavs, Scavs, Scavs, Scavs!" Scavenger dutifully ignored Annoying Little Autobot. Annoying Little Autobot wasn't really his name, of course, but Scavenger hadn't bothered to learn his name yet. He was fairly certain he never would. He didn't need it for anything, after all. The only reason he was forced to keep the company of Annoying Little Autobot was that if a Decepticon got suspicious and hacked into the Autobot files to find Scavenger, what they'd find would be an entirely fabricated file on a low-ranking Autobot that looked nothing like Scavenger. Well, it was mostly fabricated. A few of the dates were accurate, but that was unimportant. No Decepticon would be able to catch him on those. Scavenger wished that the fabricated file had assigned him to a unit different from that of Annoying Little Autobot. Wishes would do him no good, though. However, growling menacingly was sometimes effective. He tried it. Unfortunately, Annoying Little Autobot persisted. "C'mon, Scavvy!" he said. Scavenger winced. Of all the annoying little nicknames Annoying Little Autobot would come up with, "Scavvy" was the on he loathed the most. "The boss insists that you get up right now! It's real important, Scavvy-Scavs!" Annoying Little Autobot continued. Scavenger winced again and changed his mind. "Scavvy-Scavs" was DEFINITELY most loathed nickname now.
After that crucial decision had been made, Scavenger wondered why Beistand would want him when he'd just gotten off his latest spy mission. Then Scavenger realized that when Annoying Little Autobot had said "the boss" he'd meant his boss, the unit commander, not Scavenger's actual boss, Beistand. After this revelation, Scavenger wondered why "the boss" wanted him. It annoyed him that in order to find out, the green Autobot would have to comply with Annoying Little Autobot's wishes and actually get up. "Let's go, Scavs! They're not going to wait for you forever! It'll make a real bad first impression if you show up too late!" Scavenger wondered if showing up on time with Annoying Little Autobot's dismembered head in his hands would also make for a bad impression, then decided that yes, yes it would, and that he'd been spending far too much time doing spy work, because that had been a very Decepticon-like thought. It should've worried the spy more than it actually did, but his mind was pre-occupied with exactly whom he'd be making a bad first impression on, as he had every intention of showing up late. After all, he could never sleep in on spy missions because the fear of being found out always kept him up, even though as a general rule Decepticons slept as much as possible. Scavenger fond it ironic that in Autobot territory he was the one sleeping as much as possible while everyone else was up bright and early. That is, Scavenger slept as much as possible with Annoying Little Autobot annoying him constantly, much in the way he was now. The green 'bot wished Annoying Little Autobot was less annoying and less stubborn, but wishes never did any good, and growling menacingly had already proven itself to be ineffective in this situation, so the only avenue left to Scavenger was surrender.
He slowly dragged himself out of the recharge berth and resolved to talk to "the boss" about getting a lock on his quarters that Annoying Little Autobot didn't know the combination to. Scavenger doubted that "the boss" would be very keen on that idea, though, as he'd undoubtedly been keeping "the boss" waiting for his presence for quite a while. Scavenger sighed, glad that getting along well with others was not part of his job, then allowed Annoying Little Autobot to lead him to "the boss." There "the boss" smiled at him in a benevolent way that Scavenger's spy experiences taught him to be suspicious of.
"Good morning, Scavenger," "the boss" said pleasantly. The green Autobot merely growled in reply. "Scavenger, this is Orion Pax." "The boss" gestured at the small-ish green and gold Autobot standing next to him.
"You had me dragged out of my nice, comfortable recharge berth to introduce me to the new guy?"
"Oh, he'll be more than just the new guy to you." Scavenger found that to be highly doubtful, bet he allowed "the boss" to continue. "You see, Scavenger, you're going to be training Orion. Showing him the ropes and whatnot."
"I'm sorry, I must be terribly deprived of proper recharging, because I just thought I heard you say that I had to train the new guy."
"No, actually, you heard me right. That's what I said," "the boss" said kindly, the benevolent smile still on his face.
"Well, then you must be terribly deprived of proper recharging. Why can't he do it?" Scavenger asked, pointing at Annoying Little Autobot, who had, as to be expected, not left the scene.
"Oh, I would love to!" Annoying Little Autobot exclaimed, glad to be included in the conversation. "But he said that he wanted you to do it," he added, pointing to "the boss."
"I don't need extra training! I graduated with flying colors!" Orion protested, further complicating the situation.
"Flying colors won't keep a Decepticon from blowing your head off, kid," Scavenger said. "I didn't graduate with flying colors, but I could definitely out-last you in battle, because I have something you lack. Experience."
"Prove it," the small 'bot challenged.
"Alright. Follow me." Next to his personal quarters, the training room was the only room that was of any use to Scavenger, and thus the only room that he ever made a point of knowing exactly where it was. He took a simple melee weapon out of a box and tossed it to Orion, then closed the box.
"Isn't this a bit unfair?" the green and gold 'bot asked, looking at the unarmed spy. Scavenger looked ponderous for a moment, then nodded.
"You're right. This is unfair," he said, getting another melee weapon from the box and tossing it to Orion. "That should be better." Orion looked confused for a while, then exactly what Scavenger was hinting at sunk in. He tossed one of the weapons aside and charged the larger 'bot. Scavenger smirked as he stepped to the side and tripped his attacker. Orion got to his feet only to be knocked down to the floor again by Scavenger ramming into his back. The smaller of the pair rolled over and got to his feet again, this time making sure to keep his optics on his adversary. Scavenger chuckled and asked, "Ready to give up yet?"
"NO!" Orion Pax shouted, obviously insulted.
Scavenger shrugged. "Fine by me, just remember, you don't have anyone to blame for this besides yourself." Orion charged Scavenger, and the large Autobot sidestepped again, however, this time he also grabbed Orion's melee weapon and kicked him in the side, dislodging the weapon from Orion's hands. Orion hit the floor, then rolled over only to find the weapon in his face as Scavenger pinned him down by stepping on the younger transformer's chest. "Give up now?" the victor asked. Orion nodded, and Scavenger helped him to his feet. "You know where you went wrong, kid?"
"Where?"
"You let your anger get the better of you. You have to keep your anger under control if you ever expect to live long enough to retire. You need to think and be aware of your surroundings all the time." Orion was silent. "Got that, kid?"
The green and gold Autobot shrugged and said, "Whatever."
"Whatever? WHATEV- No. Just no. I'm not going to deal with this. I need to recharge, and I'm not going to let the likes of YOU waste my time. I have better things to do, like recharge." Scavenger and Orion Pax glared at each other briefly before the larger 'bot stormed out.
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"Beistand?" Scavenger asked, knocking on the door to the second-in-command's office. The door slid open and the very large Autobot gestured Scavenger inside.
"Teaspoon! Come on in, have a seat. How are you?"
"Oh, I'm doing just fine," Scavenger replied, taking a seat in a large chair directly opposite of Beistand's desk. Despite the intimidating size of most of the furnishings, the office had an oddly cozy feel that Scavenger couldn't help but like.
"Just fine, huh? Something on your mind?" Beistand asked, leaning forward.
"Yeah, actually, but how'd you know?"
"You usually tell me that you're doing 'all right,' not 'just fine.' One picks up on stuff like that when one keeps the company of spies. So what is it that's wrong?"
"Well, the unit I'm forced to keep the company of, there's this new guy, and the unit leader, in his infinite wisdom decided that I should baby-sit the kid. The problem is the little punk won't listen to a word I listen to a word I say, and I swear, that idiot's going to get himself slagged, and I'm gonna feel all guilty about it."
"Maybe you should have a bit more faith in him, Teaspoon. He may surprise you."
"Yeah, maybe. Anyway, why'd you call me here? I assume you've got a mission for me."
Beistand chuckled and said, "I see nothing gets past you."
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"What? By the Matrix, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Scavenger exclaimed. The Decepticons stared at the spy.
"'By the Matrix?' That's an Autobot curse, mercenary," the leader of the Decepticon unit said, obviously suspicious.
"What? Do you think that Autobots never hire mercs? I probably just picked it up from them," Scavenger said, being careful not to show his nervousness.
"Or you could be an Autobot spying on us," the unit leader stubbornly insisted.
"Or you could be paranoid. I'm no Autobot."
"If you're not an Autobot, then prove it," the Decepticon challenged.
Scavenger raised his rifle, shot the Decepticon, and said, "Proof enough for you?" The Decepticons rushed to surround their fallen leader.
"You killed him!" one of them exclaimed.
"He brought it upon himself," the green Autobot said, stone-faced. The Decepticon gawked.
"You killed him because he called you an Autobot?"
"I have my reasons," the rightly accused spy replied coldly. "In fact, I'm so insulted, I'm not going to do this job for you," he added beginning to walk away.
"What? So that's it? You think you can just walk away from this?"
Scavenger turned to look at the Decepticon and said, "Watch me."
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"Teaspoon, what are you doing back so early? Surely you didn't finish already," Beistand said, then he noticed the look on Scavenger's face. "Oh, no, what happened? Come in, have a sweat. You look terrible," the second-in-command added, gesturing the spy into his office. Scavenger complied, taking his regular seat. "What's the matter, Scavenger?"
The green 'bot sighed and said, "Beistand, I messed up. And I killed someone to get out of it."
"Ours or theirs? Oh, no, no, I shouldn't have asked that. That was the wrong thing to ask. The more experienced spies are used to that question, but you, this is your first kill, isn't it?"
Scavenger nodded and said, "He was a Decepticon, by the way."
"Oh, well, that's a relief. Oh, no, I shouldn't have said that! Oh, I'm sorry, Scavenger, it's just that I've been in this business for a long time, and after a while, you just get used to this kind of stuff, and you forget that others aren't. You understand, don't you, Scavenger, I'm not trying to be insensitive, I've just gotten used to it all and you haven't."
"I understand, sir, but, can I have some time off?" the spy asked.
"Of course, Scavenger, take all the time you need. You just come back here when you think you're ready for spy work again, OK?"
"Yes, sir," Scavenger replied, smiling slightly.
Beistand smiled back at him and said, "Good. Now, get out of here, Teaspoon." Scavenger saluted and left. The green 'bot got about halfway down the hall before he slumped against the wall. A very large red, white, and blue Autobot approached and asked him if he was OK. The spy waved him off and muttered. The very large 'bot seemed concerned, but did not press that matter. Instead, he continued down the hall to Beistand's office.
"Magnus, sir! What are you doing here? Not that you're unwelcome, of course, but you're rather unexpected, y'know?"
"Yeah, yeah, but, Beistand, care to tell me why your best spy is out there in what appears to be a most miserable condition?"
"Really? He seemed fine when he left."
"I assure you he's not fine. I just passed him on my way in and he looks terrible. What happened?"
"He made his first big mistake and his first kill," Beistand said pausing.
"All at once?" Magnus asked. The second-in-command nodded. "Mmm, that would do it."
"Yeah, and honestly, Prime, sir, I'm worried about him. I know I probably shouldn't be, I mean, he's done so well so far, but I'm worried that that's exactly what the problem is. He's gotten used to not messing up and now that he has, I'm worried that it's going to affect him more than it should. Am I worrying too much, Magnus?"
"Maybe just a little," the Matrix-bearer said, smiling slightly. "Do you remember your first kill, Beistand?"
"Of course I do, sir. I felt awful about it."
"But you got over it, didn't you?" Magnus asked.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Scavenger will, too. You'll see, Beistand. You just have to have a little faith."
"By the Matrix, I hope you're right, sir," the second-in-command said.
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Scavenger noted that the entire unit was gone, which meant he had the place completely to himself. This was a good thing, as interacting with anybody was very high on his list of things he didn't want to do. The large, green 'bot flopped down on a couch and stared up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure how long he'd stayed like that, or how long he would've stayed like that if the unit hadn't returned. Not surprisingly, Annoying Little Autobot sticking his head in the spy's face did nothing to brighten his mood.
"What're you doing staring at the ceiling like that?"
"Slag off," Scavenger said crossly.
"That's not a reason at all!" Annoying Little Autobot protested, apparently completely missing the point.
"Maybe it isn't, but I think he means it," Orion Pax said.
"I see you didn't get slagged," Scavenger observed.
"Nope, I didn't. And, honestly, it's thanks to what you told me. I guess you really do know what you're doing."
"Well, what do you know, you really WERE listening, kid."
"Please, call me Orion, well you?"
"Alright. Orion," Scavenger said, smiling a bit despite himself.
"Thanks a bunch," the small green and gold Autobot said, leaving.
Scavenger turned to look at Annoying Little Autobot and asked, "What are YOU staring at?"
"Saying he didn't get slagged's an understatement. He didn't just not get slagged, he killed the guy," Annoying Little Autobot said uncharacteristically uneasy.
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Random ending, eh?