A/N: repost. still like reviews tho.
disclaimer: not mine.
"Professor Snape?" is my voice quivering? I haven't done that for months... not since...no! I can't think about that!
"Miss Granger, you've arrived. Please read over the instructions on page 231 of Most Potente Potions while I gather the rest of the ingredients." Don't look at her, Severus. It'll do no good. Despite how much she may have grown up the past two years... you're still plenty of years ahead.
That's strange... whenever the others receive detention..."Sir?"
"Is reading too difficult for you, Miss Granger?" Severus...don't... you shouldn't...
"No, its just-"Ack, it's pointless. He won't explain himself... he's always this way to me... he's not even this awful to Neville! Well, maybe Neville. Still, though, it's different.
"Spit it out, girl!" Damn! Why do I do this to her? Why do I keep pushing her away? She's the only one that... not that she'll ever-
"Generally, you, and the other teachers have the students scrub desks, or things like that. Not make potions."
"You are not those students, and I am not those teachers. This potion requires two people, and you are the most qualified person to assist me. Do you have a problem with that?"
"No sir." What...? Something was different about his voice... could...? No. That's impossible.
"Then, please, stop wasting time, and get to work."
Mutely, the two began to work, gathering ingredients, boiling the water, and carefully adding the necessary components. Neither of them consciously noted the silent grace of how they worked together, of how their footsteps seemed to follow the music of an intricate dance. They worked swiftly and accurately, both being meticulous in their craft, handing one another ingredients without a single word being spoken. Simple glances and gestures were the language they used to communicate. Finally, the potion was completed, and simultaneously they began to clear the classroom table of the small amount of leftover debris. As they finished, Hermione turned wordlessly to leave.
Severus forced himself to keep from looking up as she left, as he knew it would cause him to jump up, to prevent her from leaving.
OoOoOoOo (time change.)oOoOoOoO
Hermione didn't sleep that night either, but for a different reason. Nightmares plagued her fitful sleep, and the horrors that chased her were all too real. Finally, she gave up, and turned on her small reading light. Finding her room to be absent of any unread books, she decided to turn on her small radio. Although muggle objects weren't supposed to work at Hogwarts, Hermione had charmed this one. After all, what was the point of being Head Girl if you couldn't enjoy (and slightly abuse) the freedom of having a private room? A song drifted through the airwaves, and she found herself captivated by the seemingly familiar lyrics of the Goo Goo Dolls.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cuz I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right nowAnd all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cuz sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive
As the song continued in the background, Hermione curled up into a tight ball on her large four-poster bed. Silent sobs shook her body, then anger. I swore that I would never cry. It doesn't do any good, and after... that... nothing has seemed worth crying for...but now there's him. How? How does he make me feel this way?
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I amI just want you to know who I am
The song finished, and Hermione turned off the radio. Returning to the fetus position on her bed, she fell asleep, back into a fierce storm of painful memories.
OoOoOoOo (scene change.)oOoOoOoO
Late that night, Severus sat in his chair, alone in the silence of the dungeons. He graded a class's papers, his mind not fully on the work that lay before him. She was on his mind again. What am I going to do about her? Not that I plan on doing anything. I can't. She's a student. And no student wants anything to do with me.
At that moment, she decided to walk in. oddly, she took a moment to make sure the large classroom door was completely shut.
"Sir?" Strange... I feel... I almost feel calm... I'm not scared at all...
"Miss Granger? What are you doing down here? It's late." She shouldn't be down here at this time of night... its not safe...what is she doing down here anyways?
"It's alright, I used an invisibility cloak." She indicated to the shimmering mass of fabric hiding her arm. "I need a Dreamless Sleep potion. I didn't want to ask Nurse Pomfrey... she'd ask why..."
"..." Where did she get an invisibility cloak? And why...?
"I cannot explain my nightmares to her." Not anyone... except you. You and Harry are the only people that have them... and his are different than ours. You never mention anything about yours. But I know you have them. I know.
"I do not think, Miss Granger, that your bad dreams are quite enough to merit a potion. Even though you may have experienced more death eaters than most seventeen-year-old girls." Ack! Why did I do that? Why do I always pick an argument with her?
That's it. I am sick and tired of his superiority act. He thinks he knows it all, and for the most part he does- but this... this he does not. Hermione gave up on her self-control. But she didn't shriek or yell like she used to. Her anger was now focused into a deadly, eerie calm. "Severus Snape. Give me the damn potion. Despite what you think you know, I need it. Just as much as you." She continued to look at him with an almost piercing, defiant stare.
"First of all, you are to address me as 'Professor Snape'. Secondly, your rudeness is resulting in the loss of 25 points from Gryffindor." She called me Severus. She stood up to me. No one has done that before. They're all too scared...but she...
"Do you really think that I care about house points anymore? As for calling you 'professor', I will give you respect when you deserve it."
By now, their emotions were intense enough to stop the steady flow of thoughts. Hermione radiated a fierce rage, and Severus couldn't decide whether to be stunned or annoyed.
"I am your teacher. That is enough."
"The hell it is. I have better things to fear than you!"
"No one else seems to make note of that..."
"Damn it, Severus, I am not everyone else! And neither are you!"
By this point, Hermione was shaking, fury and angst radiating throughout her slender, petite form. All Severus could do was look, he felt captivated by her rage.
"You are the only person that can get it! Who else would understand? Harry? By all rights, he should have cursed me by now! Dumbledore is supposed to have sent me to Azkaban, and I certainly can't tell my parents that I've become..." Hermione's words began to drift as she realized what she was saying.
"Become what?" Hermione wasn't sure what to say... you can't just tell someone 'Guess what? I'm a death eater!' not even to him... so she settled for lifting up the black sleeve of her school robe, which she had thrown overtop of her pajamas. There was no way in hell that she would let anyone, male or not, see her in her pajamas. They covered as much as they could, but there were still scars left unhidden.
Severus would have gasped, if he did such a thing. He had known that Hermione's quest for something, no, anything that would bring back Harry's godfather had taken her into the world of dark magic, but he hadn't known that...
Hermione Granger had the Dark Mark, making her a Death Eater, one of the Dark Lord's personal servants.