Part 1
Clark looked at her, so lovely…, so elegant. Maybe in another life time, another way, another form he could love her, but not now. No, he was something she could never accept, he knew that. It etched itself in his mind as though it were law. Every dream he had she accepted it, but he knew not to trust dreams. He wished he wasn't so self assured. He wished that he was wrong. He wished there was a way. She stood there in front of him. Her eyes relaxing every crevice of his being as she took her hand and stroked it gently across his cheek, the warmth almost causing him to shiver, and yet there was only so far he could go. He took his hand and soothingly wiped it through her hair. He gave her that faint smile he always gave her; it was the only look he could give her. He didn't know how else to express himself. He wasn't very good at saying it, or in many cases outright showing it but this was one way.
His dreams often went this way, them alone, sometimes out in the middle of the farm, others in the loft. Wherever they were it was a place he was secure with, a place he knew completely. She would look at him with those tending loving eyes of hers, and he would hold her hand. He'd then calmly tell her his secret. He'd say sorry for the destruction he caused on coming, he'd tell her that if he could take it back he would, he'd apologize for allowing her to become friends if not more with someone who isn't even a person. Then in his dreams, she'd smile and accept him, and that's what made it a dream. It was unreal. It's a shame that only in reality can we actually ever feel and real satisfaction but it's only in our subconscious are we ever confident.
Clark brought himself back to the current world as she saw her lean up to kiss him. He tilted his head down slowly and tasted the sweet spice of her lips. Every time they kissed it was brand-new. New emotions, new textures, new feelings, new warmth, it was never the same twice, but every time it was always pleasant, mellow, like it was meant to be, but Clark new it was a lie, and someday she'd see it. She'd see the huge lie in front of her, and she'll turn and run, he knew it. How long could he hide out in Smallville? How long?
"Kal-El, it's time…,"
Clark closed his eyes and held his head, the voice!
"Clark?" Lana backed up hesitantly. "Clark are you okay? What's wrong?"
It wouldn't go away. He was tired of this destiny. Why could he write his own destiny? Who's to say that his fate is decided? Was it his father? He just wanted to stay with Lana, just wanted things to be simple. Who was he kidding, things were never simple in his life, and they never would be. It was the destiny of things, just like how him and Lana could never work, it was destiny…. How he cursed destiny!
"Kal-El !"
"Stop!" Clark yelled falling to his knees holding his head. The voice wouldn't leave. This couldn't be happening, he wanted to control his future…, he wanted to choose! He wanted a choice.
Lana bent down on her knee and placed a hand on Clark's back, "Clark what is it?" she asked, tilting her heads to try to see in his eyes, but she saw that they were closed shut.
Clark fought back the tears, they weren't of sadness though, just of aggravation. "Lana you have to get away from me…, please…," the voice beckoned him again. "Ah!" Clark let out an angry yelled and got up and began running away holding his head.
Lana got up and reached out to him but it was too late, he was long out of the field and she didn't know whether it would be wise to chase after him, "Clark," she gasped as her mouth went fearfully in front of her mouth as though not to let out the words of fear from her lips.
-end of part 1
Part 2
Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
Lex stared at the blood, it was true. Of course it was true, but how? How could Clark be the end of everything? What made it him? Who was Clark Kent? What was Clark Kent? Every time he thought he was closer to the truth it just ended up with more questions, always more and more questions.
"So you believe it now?" Lionel asked, sitting, drinking, manipulating.
Lex nodded calmly. "I still don't see a reason though, why do you say we must destroy him. I see the evidence, but…, how can you be sure?"
Lionel grinned, "You'd be amazed at how much people try to get away with in front of blind mirrors."
Lex sat down, nervous, unlike himself. He placed the blood on the table next to him and took a shot of alcohol, and then another. "What's in it for me?"
Lionel leaned in, "You do this and I'll give you Luthor Corp. I'll take a little out to live on and you can have the rest, because when you do this you'll prove to me that you're ready."
This was what Lex was waiting for. It didn't matter if it meant the destruction of his friend, it was appreciation from his father, acceptance, tradition. Lex smiled, "We withstood a car going 90 head on, what could possibly hurt him?" Lex asked.
Lionel reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a meteor rock and tossed it to Lex, "The simplest of items can bring the most destruction. I think this is all you will need."
Lex placed the rock next to the blood, and grinned. "He has more than one weakness," he watched as his father lifted his brow in curiosity. "Lana Lang," and with that the Luthors took a toast to the future.
--
She stood there in front of him. Her hair glistening in the evening sun, her half smile bringing somber tears within his heart, yet even how beautiful it was it brought so much hurt to see her in such pain. He turned away quickly, ashamed, how could he hurt such a creature? Who was he? Did he come down here just to cause pain? Why must his heart scream for something so beautiful? Why could he not control himself?
He felt her tender hand touch his cheek. Dear god… oh, joyful bliss. He shivered upon the touch of her hand. He felt her sit down beside him, why must she always be beside him…, or was it he that was always beside her? Why was fate so foolish this early? Why when it was to drive them apart later, did it play such games in the beginning? Why did it want to break two innocent hearts? Why?
"It's going to be okay Clark, trust me."
Trust…, that word. Trust was a word he knew all too well. It was the word that meant the most in his life. Though the most of what was the question, the most of pain in most questions, what was trust? Was it to tell everything to someone with no thought that they would ever see you ever differently and if they did they'd still accept you? No, not to Clark. Trust was just an invitation to tears and heartache. He couldn't tell her. Could he? Was it plausible? What would she do? She'd have to know eventually…, wouldn't she? Who was Clark Kent….
"I know who you are Clark Kent!"
The voice echoed in his mind as it came from the heavens above. Stop! I don't want you here! I am scared, confused, alone on this world as it is! Don't hurt me anymore! I want to do things… I want to!
"Clark…, what is it?" She asked him.
Clark took a deep breath. He couldn't hurt her any longer, he couldn't prolong it any more, he'd tell her what he could, what his heart would allow…., Please heart…., please be truthful! Yet…, yes he'd stop the pain, to do so he'd stop himself but free her guilt… their guilt, "Wait here."
Clark walked slowly away from her and down into the cellar. Usually it was cold, the worms digging through the wood trying to breathe in the refreshing cool air that awaited them, but not that evening. The air was warm and thing, almost unbearable. He quickly searched his way around and found what he was looking for, he then headed back up towards out of the cellar.
As he headed towards Lana, who sat patiently, she trusted him…, how could she? She was too fair a creature for this world, maybe that's how she found him. As he approached her memories floated through his head, and suddenly an old song that he heard as a child but couldn't remember suddenly sang.
I came to you in the evening blue
To tell you of my soul
I approached under the moon
Yet, I said it all without you
He handed Lana a led box, "Don't open it yet," he'd tell her everything, and with it bring the end of the voice, "I need to tell you what my heart wants to say, and not what my mind wants me to hide," he took a hold of her hand, "When I finish please open the box and leave…., if you don't run before hand."
She kissed him lightly, "I would never leave you Clark."
He sighed and looked away, "You never knew me….,"
-end of part 2
Part 3
Clark rubbed his hands together, "When I was younger I remember a song it went something like.
I came to you in the evening blue
To tell you of my soul
I approached under the moon
Yet, I said it all without you
Lana began singing the next verse.
So to the moon I shared
The feelings of my soul
But the moon never responded
The moon always knew
Yet didn't feel the same
So I stood there forever
Lost in the evening blue
Clark sighed upon hearing Lana finish the song, he wondered on why he had remembered the first verse. He stared at the led box that Lana held in her hand. The song was pleasant; it was something else in his mind besides the voice. So long as he looked at her. Admired her, and for the longest time, did nothing. Why was he so scared? He still is, but why back then? Why didn't he ever have the confidence in himself that others always saw in him, what did they see that he didn't? He looked at his hands, the skin, so similar to Lana's. No, Lana's skin was a texture that no other person could match, silky, yet strong, elegant in every sense. He looked into her eyes, sparkles within every corner of them; that held hope. How could she have hope after everything that has happened to her? Here he was with just a voice ready to take his own life, yet she lost her parents her best friend, her boyfriend, her aunt…, everyone and yet here she was, holding onto something. Clark supposed that's all you really needed in life. Something to hold onto, like a child that held onto a note to give to a crush, or how a person clings to a lottery ticket, people just needed something to hold onto. If he knew who he was then maybe he could be confident in holding onto something, but he was being told of a destiny he didn't want to fulfill. Clark was different unlike everyone else he didn't want to hold onto something, he wanted to let go, let go of the prophecy that ran through his mind.
Of course if there was anything he'd ever want to hold onto it was her. It was always her and would always be her. If it ever wasn't then….
"Clark why are you giving me this?" Lana asked staring at the box.
"Because I'm going to tell you my secret Lana, the one you've always wanted to know. Do you still want to know?"
Lana paused, and this surprised Clark, he'd thought she'd nod her head in an agreeing manner. For wasn't the key to human existence knowledge?
"I know you have a secret Clark, but the real secret I wanted answered for so long was how you felt about me," she smiled. "But I know that now. It's up to you if you want to tell me your other secret, but I'll listen, and I'll be here when you're done telling it, I promise." She smiled and put her hand on his leg, "I'll be here."
Clark took a deep breath, of course human curiosity won out, it always would. It was the nature of things, though he should be the last talking of human nature. He pondered for a second on how he wanted to tell her, he thought he'd plan it in every possible scenario in his dreams, but this was different, he couldn't wake up and have it forgotten this time.
"I'm sorry Lana but to tell you my secret…, this story, I'm going to have to bring back old subjects that I know you'd rather not talk about," He looked down.
"The meteor shower?" she asked.
He simply nodded.
"It's okay, sometimes it takes someone we love to clear away the memories that hurt us most." She kissed his cheek, "You can tell me anything Clark."
How could she be so self assured? She knew she wasn't as strong as she thought, she had told him herself that she wasn't, and yet here she was. Ready to take anything Clark had to say just so he'd be guilt free. She'd take poison if it meant that he'd be safe. He knew it. He knew that she would do just about anything for him. It was scary in a way to have someone care for you that much, of course on the other hand, he'd do anything for her. Even before they were close, there was an attraction. Something telling him to protect her, it was though Lana Lang had some sort of aurora that attracted him to her. Was that love? He knew his father and mother would do anything for each other, so maybe that was love? Who was Clark to know of love? Could he experience such a thing? Was his species capable of such feelings? If not than what was it he felt when he was around her? He looked up into her eyes trying to find the strength to tell her what he needed to tell her and amazingly enough he saw it there; he saw more strength within her eyes than he could ever have in a lifetime. If ever there was someone that personified the human qualities that all should emulate it was Lana Lang.
"I was found in a field, the cornfield, in a crater."
"How can that be possible, I thought you were adopted? Like from an adoption center."
Clark shook his head, "The papers are fabricated, ironically enough they came from the pen of Lionel Luthor."
Lana narrowed her eyes and listened intently.
"Martha Kent and Jonathan Kent found me in a field, naked, young, alone. They took me in, loved me."
"How did you end up in a cornfield?" Lana asked.
Clark sighed and looked up into the sky, "You believe in hope Lana?"
"How do you think I got this far?" She asked him.
Clark smiled and laughed lightly from the remark. She was right and he enjoyed her displaying again that strong self assured attitude even in serious times, he looked at her from a corner of his eye, "Oh, I don't know I just thought you were Super Girl or something."
She rolled her eyes, "The field Clark, how did you get into the field." She wondered to herself on why she was perusing, it was evident that Clark was trying to avoid the question, evidently enough because it hurt him to tell, so why did she want to know still?
Clark pointed up the sky, "Hope is a mysterious thing indeed."
She looked up at the sky and gasped, "Are you saying you came from space?" She asked.
Clark nodded, "On a ship, it's in the cellar…, that's where I came from," he took a hold of her hand and looked deep within her eyes, but suddenly that strength was gone, hiding, destroyed? She was different. Clark cursed himself he hurt her…, why did he hurt her? Why did he want to hurt her? Why did he do this, he knew…. "I'm not like you Lana. I'm, I'm an alien, I'm not human."
The tears began streaming down Lana's face, "No I don't believe it!"
Clark sighed and sorrowfully looked over at a piece of wood that lied a few yards away from them, and then he lit it on fire, and then looked back at Lana, "I'm sorry."
She kept shaking her head, then suddenly the shivering found it's way to the box…, the box…., what was in there. What else didn't she know? Was it curiosity or just fear? She opened the box.
-end of part 3
Part 4
I came to you
And you weren't there
Alone you left
And the tears stayed
Clark watched her as she began to open the box, he was starting to question on what he has done, did he want her to open the box. Learn of his weakness…, did he want the guilt to be gone, or for himself to be gone? No, the voice…. He wanted the voice to be gone, his destiny gone, Lana free….
She stared at the piece of meteor rock that rested itself inside the case. She wondered why it was in there. It was just a piece, it wasn't as though they were particularly hard to get a sample of. Why would it be in such a nice led box? She looked over at Clark and saw that his skin was almost becoming thinner, paler. Green veins started to almost emerge like they were going to pop out of his skin like a giant volcano eruption. She watched as his chest heaved, and his head leaned down almost lacking the energy to raise itself, then suddenly Clark's body hit the ground. She closed the box, and watched as all the unique features disappeared, except Clark's eyes, they were lonely as they stared there at the green earth floor.
"Why did you close it?"
"I don't want you to die, Clark!"
"Please, the voices they need to stop…"
She placed the box down on the ground, what was wrong with him? What was going on? Oh, she wanted to scream. The tears were burning her cheeks. She grinded her teeth, "Why did you want me to open the box!"
"The rocks…, they weaken me. I need the voices to go away."
He manipulated her. He made her fall in love with something that wasn't real. This was the real…, Clark? He wasn't Clark! Clark was her friend, human! This wasn't Clark; she didn't know what to call him. This was a distraught being who wanted nothing but the end. This was the end, the end forever. She could never look at Clark in a loving way again, how could she ever trust him? How could she ever know what he was? Who he was and when?
Clark got up onto his knees and dusted the dirt off him-self. How could he dust off the dirt? Where did the energy come from? The want to continue? The need to be clean? What was the necessity of wiping off the dirt? What was he really wiping away? He looked at Lana's eyes again, the hurt the pain, the sorrow…., he got up and started to approach her, his arms held out. "Lana I'm sorry."
She backed away, "No...," she paused, "You! You just stay back! I don't know you! I've been destroyed and battled upon all my life, but this may be all I can take," she pointed at Clark, "How dare you talk to me of hope!" And with that she ran, she ran as fast as she could. She left like the wind, though gone the feeling still remained, the chill of pain that Clark had caused her went down his body.
Clark fell forward. His hands plunged deep into the ground. His nails digging up the dirt.
"Soon Clark, soon… You will see you will rule them all. They will pray for you. They will rest their hopes upon you. You will be their leader! You will rule them all! Tis' your destiny!"
"I don't want destiny! I don't want to rule!" Clark kept yelling but it was just an echo into the air. At least he thought.
"So be it!" Said the voice.
Suddenly Clark's body snapped, or his mind, everything went blank, his eyes went blank. His body gave out, he no longer controlled, he no longer existed, he didn't rule…, it was what he wanted, except for one thing, now he no longer controlled his body. His limp body gave way to the bed below it and lied upon it, motionless.
--
Lana stood there in front of Lex Luthor, "I came like you requested. Is this about the Talon?"
Lex smiled and simply shook his head, "No, not at all…."
-end of part 4
Part 5
"I can't hurt them! I love them."
"You love her?"
"Yes, I love her!"
"Does she love you?"
"It doesn't matter!"
"Why?"
"Because you can't take emotion it's what makes us…"
"Human?"
"It's what identifies us!"
"You aren't human Kal – El!"
"You don't control me!"
"I don't but I'm telling you of where you are going."
"That is for me to find out!"
"No, your fate is decided, everything is already decided, you know that. You knew Lana's reaction before you told her…, you just needed evidence, all time gave you was evidence, no new information, nothing that you didn't expect."
"What would you know about what I expected!?"
"You expected the same thing all of us expect when we give our hearts back to someone, acknowledgement."
"Where am I?"
"You're in your mind Kal – El."
"I want to be with everyone I know."
"You know me."
"No! I only know of your haunting presence that echoes its voice in my mind!"
"You can't escape."
"I want to be free, I want to be free!"
"You were never free to begin with Kal – El…."
--
"So how are things going with you and Clark?" Lex asked offering Lana a drink.
Lana shook her head, and saw a chair for her but decided not to sit down. If she sat it would seem more of an invitation for a longer conversation, at the moment she just wanted to go home and go to sleep, her body seemed so tired, so weary. She just wanted some rest, some thing that was always reliant upon. Sleep always seemed the best way to make things better. Like you were waking up with a new you each time, though, you always knew better than to presume such a thing. "I don't want to discuss anything about Clark and I?" Lana said bitterly. The words tired her even more and suddenly she found her way to the seat just for the simple feeling of maybe things would relax if she sat down, they didn't. She was more nervous, more closed in, stuck within the plush seat.
"Did he hurt you Lana?" Lex asked, guessing, assuming, using is talent of guessing human notion.
Lana looked away and Lex instantly grinned from the reply. Perfect, even more she'd be willing to get back at him. "Shhh, Lana it's okay. I have something for Clark, that may intrigue you."
--
Lana walked down the street away from Lex's mansion with a piece of meteor rock within her hand. He knew but how? How did he know of Clark's weakness? Did he know the secret? Did he know everything? Lana doubted this. Lex didn't know what Lana knew. She grinned. "Sure Lex, I'll kill Clark Kent for you," she laughed insanely into the air. Sleep…, she needed sleep. She didn't feel well, her mind was too flooded. Too many random thoughts echoed around her head. Alien? How? He seemed so real? Was the emotions he expressed false too? Was he one huge lie? How could he do this to her! She needed to see him, she needed to clear all this out! She needed sleep…, she wasn't going to make it. She wasn't going to make it to her house. All her thoughts blocked her physical pain of weariness, it was worst than she thought. She walked unevenly, shaking wobbly with each step, no she wasn't going to make it as she finally sat down on the ground, fighting back the sleep with her eyes. Why was she so tired, it couldn't have been just all those thoughts…, no, it was something…. Then suddenly sleep finally took over her and her eyelids closed.
--
"Take me back!"
"When things are ready Kal – El!"
"You can't change things!"
"I need to change things!"
"It's not your decision."
"It's always been my decision."
"It's never been your decision!"
"Did you decide to land here? Did you decide to have the parents you did? Did you decide to fall in love with the girl next door? Did you decide to slip into this unconsciousness? No, I chose, and I'll always choose! You have a larger destiny than you can imagine. It'll never work out Clark, what you want most will never work out."
"STOP! Her and I will work out…, we will work out! We are destined!"
"Yes you two are destined, more than you'd ever know, Kal-El…."
-end of part 5
(Thanks everyone for the replies.)
Part 6
Lana awoke to the shaking of an old man. He wore a brown sweater and slacks. He was gray and slightly balding, and even though he was hunched over trying to wake Lana, it appeared that the hump was natural. "You up?"
Lana blinked, wondering where she was. She looked around to see that she was on the street; she opened her hand to see the piece of green meteor rock striking her eyes like a full moon. The moon, space… Clark. She shook her head aggravated, how could he? She didn't want to think about Clark. Why was she thinking about him? Why did he do this to her?
"Bad day?"
She looked up at the old man. She pondered on whether to answer him or not. Why did he wake her up? She would've been better left asleep. At least that way she didn't have to wonder about Clark. Of course then one would ask don't you ponder it in your dreams? She thought for a second, does she dream? As she ever dreamed…? Lana couldn't remember the last time she actually had a dream. She daydreamed, everyone daydreams, imagines, wishes, but did she ever really dream at night? No, she didn't suppose she did. Lana nodded to the old man, "I wonder what could've told you that?" she said sarcastically.
The man offered her a hand and helped her up, "There are two things that make a pretty girl have a bad day, heart break or bad luck, looks like you may have had a dose of both."
Lana thought this comment as pretty silly, for if you had heart break didn't you already obtain bad luck? I mean how could you have heart break and not consider yourself unlucky? It didn't make much sense to her. "You could say that," the meteor rock seemed to burn in her hand, she quickly placed it in her pocket. "Thank you for waking me," she waved at the man and started to leave.
"Don't be so mad at him, pain is a powerful mind to control."
Lana quickly turned, to face the man, but he was gone. Did he know? Did he have some sort of idea? No, he was just saying something in general about heart break that's all. He didn't have any idea. How would he know that she was mad at him? She was mad at him. She was so angry, how could he just destroy her like he did?
She walked up the porch and knocked on the door, "Yes, misses Kent, Where is Clark?"
"I don't know Lana, I thought he was with you," she responded.
Lana nodded, thanked her for her time and then left. Where was Clark? Was he hiding? He should, the worm. Maybe he went to finish himself off. After all he wanted her to kill him, with the box.
" This might sound silly... but I have this fear that-- that one day you'll finally get a good look at me and... I'm going to disappoint you. That you'll see that I'm not as strong or as good as you think I am. And I'm afraid that it'll change the way you feel about me."
"Nothing could ever do that," he said it to her, how did he know what to say? And then she took his hand. It was her that longed for him, they longed for each other.
"Maybe it's me that needs to start believing in you."
She looked at the meteor rock again as she took it out of her pocket. I said I needed to believe in him. I needed him. He needed me, he had this picture of me, he said he did. He didn't want to change it. That's why he kept the secret for so long. Why would he want to distort the picture? He knew that she'd probably hate him for his secret. How could he ever trust her enough in the beginning to tell her? But still…, Lana placed the rock back in her pocket. She felt so confused. Her heart was torn, contemplating the different options that ran through her head, contemplating her true feelings. She didn't know what she wanted. Clark had lied but did she still love him? She didn't wish for him all those nights for no reason at all, she must've had some true undying love that must still be there. She found herself in the Kent field and sat down. She began to cry, she didn't know what else to do. She didn't want to walk, or run. She didn't want to turn somewhere else. She didn't want to try and forget all about him, yet she didn't want to just fall for him again. She didn't know what to accept and what not to accept. She cried, all alone she cried….
Then there was a hand on her shoulder.
-end of part 6
Part 7
Clark looked at her, crying. He didn't want to see her this way. He always had to console her, he didn't know why. It was as though it was an instinct of his. Like it was almost one of his powers, he sat down next to her. He hated himself for what he has done to her. Maybe it would've been better if he hadn't of said anything, what made him think that his dreams would work out, he had to try though, he had to try.
"I'm sorry," he said, copying her motion, staring at the ground, hands kept in a ball.
"It's not your fault."
"I feel as though it is."
"I only told you because I love you Lana, I love you more than –"
"I know Clark."
They paused as time went by. It went by faster than he could ever remember. He could've sworn the sun came up and went down again right before his eyes.
"Can it ever work Lana?"
"I don't know."
"It seems I've spent my life in vain. Trying to reach you and now, it seems all for nothing."
"I'm sorry."
"It's my fault."
"This isn't ever going to work," Lana's words pierced right through Clark.
"Why can't it Lana. Love can work anything out."
"Because Clark this is just a dream."
--
Clark awoke in the middle of the field. His face cased in sweat. His clothes sticking tightly to his skin, he sat up and wondered what had happened. Why such a dream? What was going on…, What was that sound? He heard the sound of a faint whisper maybe 100 yards away. He stood up and started walking towards the sound. There was Lana crying like in his dreams, he suddenly came with the realization that all of it wasn't a dream. It was more of a vision. It was a warning. Lex Luthor had betrayed him, the question was, was Lana going to betray him? Now he knew why he had the vision, he had to decide to go to Lana or not to go to her. If he went there was the chance of her betraying him, with the rock and try to kill him. Yet, she was crying. He stood there perplexed on what to do. Was he to go to her, Lana, the love of his life, the girl that meant everything to him, or did he stay away…, run from the fear that she wanted nothing to do with him and just as much kill him now, now that she knew the real truth about him. Clark sighed, why did have to be who he was? It was as though the world was against him.
"Don't let them bring you down Kal – El! You know what to do! You don't have to be in fear anymore!" Clark growled in anger. The emotional pain wasn't enough but now the mental anguish that fueled his anger was beyond recognition. He couldn't worry about that he had to worry about the problem at hand. To go to her to her and try to stop her pain or to let it go and maybe leave the pain and try to go on, would it be less painful to try and move on? For if she betrayed him….., that would be the end of him, emotionally and physically. He stood there and watched her cry, to go to her? Or not go to her?
I came to you in the evening blue
To tell you of my soul
I approached under the moon
Yet, I said it all without you
-End of part 7
Part 8
So to the moon I shared
The feelings of my soul
But the moon never responded
The moon always knew
Yet didn't feel the same
So I stood there forever
Lost in the evening blue
I came to you
And you weren't there
Alone you left
And the tears stayed
I cried a million times
But nothing ever changed
And every time I sought for you
You weren't there
And soon too the last time I cried
I ran out of air
Soon too I died for you
Under the dimmed moon
Clark stood there, the unknown flying through his mind. He couldn't decide what to do, he didn't know what to say, he didn't know where to go…, he was lost. He approached her, she was crying, what else could he do? It was what he did, well the instinct did. He walked up to her like a scared puppy. He sat next to her, he thought about placing his arms around her, but didn't. She didn't move. Not a bit. Not an inkling of notion of whether or not she wanted Clark there. He knew in her mind she was contemplating on what to do. He watched her place her hand in the pocket. The pocket with the kryptonite, he looked down. "You once told me it didn't matter if I had any secrets."
Lana sighed, and wiped her eyes by rubbing them against her sleeve, "That was a lifetime ago Clark."
"Then why did you say it?"
"Because I … I …,"
He caught her. He knew how he felt and felt slightly guilty for taking advantage of it, but it wasn't as though she knew more than he did. "It's because you love me Lana."
She stood up and stared at him, she then stomped the ground, "Stop it Clark! Stop, I can't love you! You are not who I thought you were."
He stood up and faced her. "I'm right here! I'm the boy with the telescope, the boy who helped you with the blood drive, the boy who helped you launch the talon, the boy who always fought for you, the boy who always believed in you, the boy who has had a crush on this pretty girl in-front of him for as long as he could remember." He placed his hands out revealing himself to her.
She looked away, almost ashamed, she loved him…, right? She loved Clark Kent. Was that who he was? She took out the meteor rock and placed it open in the palms of her hands. She looked at his reaction as he suffered the same painful reaction he had before. She then dropped the rock onto the ground and kicked it away. She watched him again as his body turned back to it's healthy color and complexion. "Is that the only thing that can harm you?" she asked.
Clark walked towards her. "I have many abilities, but that's not the only thing that can harm me. There is something that harmed me even more than that rock right there."
"What…?," Lana panted as their faces drew nearer and nearer.
"You're reaction to the truth," he said leaning in towards her.
"Please Clark," her hands exploring every part of his chest, she didn't want to do this, but something else was gripping her, something deep within was telling her this was right, "Clark please this will never work."
He smiled, "I know," and both of their lips touched passionately.
-end of part 8
Part 9
The vast openness of space felt like the puzzlement that danced around in Clark's mind. He wondered on why the telescope was there. Was it just to look at her, was it to look up at the sky and try to answer his questions? Where were his questions? Were they way up there? Or just across the way? Maybe they were both, the chilling air would sweep in causing him to sit. He'd try to get through the pain of the realization that he would never be with her. That even if there wasn't a football player there would be someone else. Clark knew deep inside that he was the one that would treat her well. He'd do whatever she wanted, because he knew that she would make the wise decision always in what she wanted him to do, if that made sense? Maybe it was just Clark was tired of being lonely. Tired of the pain it brought, and tired of the pain of not being able to see past Lana Lang. It was almost as if she was the grail he'd always been searching for. At least something inside told him that. Yet, it always seemed that fate would drag him farther away from her. Of course he was sent far away, as soon as he landed so close….
--
Clark shook his head remembering his old feelings. He had to focus on what he had now. The here and now that was all that was important, the past would always be less important than the present, for if it wasn't, nobody would ever make a mistake. Nobody would ever learn.
Yet in the distinct irony of it all here she was sitting with him. They sat there, both unwilling to let the other know what they were thinking. Both contemplating, maybe she was remembering past thoughts as well. Clark wondered what they were like. Was she hurting in the past too? No, for if she was, Clark's pain might have lessened, why did that seem so selfish? Clark was getting lost and confused in his thoughts.
The present….
"Where did you get that meteor rock from?" Clark asked.
Lana sighed, "Lex Luthor."
Clark had already known the answer but he wanted to see what her response was, and as always it was truthful. She was the truthful one; it was him that was the questionable one. It was him that would always mislead her. He'd always put her in danger.
"So he knows?" Clark asked.
Lana nodded, "How does he know though Clark?"
"Fate told him," Clark sighed standing up. "I can't let him keep this secret."
"What are you going to do Clark?" Lana asked.
"Confront him, I guess." Clark said not really knowing what to do. He couldn't kill Lex. Clark didn't have it in him to actually kill someone, well plan out to kill someone. Accidental maybe but that could be said with anyone. Not like someone plans an accident with a free conscious.
Lana shook her head, "I'll confront him."
"Lana that could be dan-" Clark was interrupted by her.
"Dangerous?" She laughed as she started to run off, "You'll save me, won't ya?"
Clark grinned. Of course he would, that was a silly question. He was her bodyguard, yet here she was sticking herself in danger for him. Clark looked up at the sky. That chill came across again. She had run from his sight. He needed his telescope, for she was running from him. They were always running from each other. Yet, was it a game? A plan? Maybe just the Greek description of tragedy, maybe Lana was Clark's hamartia, or maybe Clark's fate in her was it. He didn't really know. He just knew he couldn't stop it, and it was ironic that she knew he couldn't. So she went off to get herself in danger, but yet in her mind she was invulnerable, because she had Clark Kent looking out for her, was it cocky? Or just love and trust? Which end of the telescope was Clark looking out of? He watched as she started to approach the Luthor mansion.
-end of part 9
Part 10
"Where's the rock?" Lex asked her.
"I had to get rid of it in order to kill him."
"How did you kill him?"
"Let me show you," she grinned picking up a small piece of ice out of container holding a glass of wine. She placed the ice in her mouth and then leaned over the table towards Lex. She kissed him, sliding the ice past his mouth and down his throat, she then backed away. "That's how I did it," she had to make it seem realistic. If she was every going to convince Lex that Clark was dead, she had to make it seem so.
Lex grinned, "Nice," he said. "Very nice," he repeated. "Let me show you something," he got up and went over to his bookcase. Then pulling a book with the author Roland, the book case opened, revealing a giant elevator. He went in and motioned Lana to enter with him. "I've often wondered how a Luthor could get richer, well I think I may have figured it out." The elevator quickly went down 9 stories and then opened. What Lana saw was immense. There were huge steel drums, containers, coolers, huge silver machines; the whole room seemed draped in silver except for a strange green liquid that could be seen pouring through them, or boiling in them, or cooling in them. Her eyes got huge even the spiral staircase that went up nine stories was impressive and it was the only thing that wasn't green or silver it was red. Lana could only figure it was to represent that it's where to go incase of a fire.
"I don't get it," Lana said simply.
"It's easy enough Lana. How much would the government pay for a fuel source stronger than nuclear power? I'll tell you what they'll pay, anything I tell them to pay, and I may have such a resource right here." He grinned. "If you can burn the meteor rocks and combine them with other elements in such a way they create a gigantic chemical reaction, one that could keep the world with lights for centuries."
"But Lex, you know how dangerous these rocks are."
"Lana, Madam Curie didn't care of the dangers when she started testing with X-rays, sometimes there are sacrifices to be made in need of advancement."
"But…" There was no point Lex was beyond control she could see it in his eyes.
Clark watched the scene from the corner where the elevator sat. He began getting weak and started that notice that even the steel wasn't stopping the kryptonite from seeping into the atmosphere of the under ground plant. He fell to his knees, and suddenly his hiding place was discovered, as Lex and all the other guards turned to face him.
-end of part 10
Part 11
Several shots rang out striking the machinery. "Stop!" Lex yelled. It was too late as several shots hit several pieces of machinery as Clark was still strong enough to dodge the bullets and move himself somewhere else in the room. As lights began going off and sirens sounded, Lana quickly tried to make her self invincible to an agitated Lex Luthor. She started to quickly climb her way up the spiral staircase in hopes to hide in thanks to its tremendous height. Clark looked around carefully wondering what to do, he felt himself getting weaker and weaker. Suddenly several of the large valves started to burst as well as some of the pipes. Clark watched as Lex ran out of the complex. He looked up to see Lana running up 9 stories to the top of the stairs. Suddenly a huge explosion happened next to him that sent him flying high into the air. He barreled through the roof of the complex; the immense power the explosion had was enormous and astounded Clark. Clark watched from miles above the Earth as Lana lied down on top of a huge staircase, scared. He looked to see the kryptonite leaking around causing almost a pool on the ground. The green ooze was eating away at the staircase he knew it wasn't long till the stairs gave way and she'd fall 9 stories to her death. He straightened his body out and dove head first towards the ground, toward her.
Clark heard the wind around him, it sounded like a voice telling him he could do it. He could reach her. Everything would be okay. Everything in the end would be okay. The sun began to set on the sky, was it the light of hope flickering out? He straightened his arms out to his sides as he watched the stairs start to crumble and Lana fall. "No!!!!!!!!" He dove down as fast as he could, as fast as time would allow. He could see her look up at him, her arms motioning up towards him, salvation was there, she just had to reach it. He grabbed her within several feet of the pool of ill that rested below him. He suddenly felt his body give way, he couldn't stop. He and her were going to collide into the kryptonite, he had to ease her fall, as he tried maneuvering so that she would land on top of him.
She relaxed herself looking up into his eyes, "guess I somehow always thought of you as invincible." She said beginning to laugh.
He laughed as well, "Now you think I'm just human."
She didn't know what to think of him. He seemed so different…, "I guess that's my way of saying that you mean a lot to me, Clark"
She gripped tightly into his chest, her eyes closed. She didn't know if they'd make it. She knew he wasn't going to make it, the second he'd hit the meteor rock pool that rested below them he'd die. The pain of him dying brought tears to her eyes and she began to cry as she clutched him tight. After what seemed like an eternity she opened her eyes to realize that there was nothing but darkness. Was she dead? She looked behind her to see the moon in the sky, who was she clutching too? It was a fearful Clark Kent that floated high above the ground. They floated there like gods deciding on what others fate should be. Lana looked below to see more explosions erupt. She placed her hands on his face, feeling him, making sure he was alive. She didn't believe it, but she felt his tremendous grasp around her waist, almost afraid that if he let go an inch she'd suddenly die in his arms. "We're not dead…" she said.
Clark nodded.
"We're flying," she stated.
He just shook his head, "I can't fly."
The remark made her laugh, how she laughed among all the animosity was a puzzle she'd never figure out. She guessed it was the Kent charm. "Well obviously you can fly Clark!"
He blinked looking down at the ground, "I can't land either."
"What do you mean you can't land!?" She yelled, but again laughed realizing how silly of a situation they were in.
Clark wished he was home. He couldn't stand the sounds of the explosions below him any longer, and as soon as he wished it, he flew. Through the sky and dancing with the stars, he and his angel flew like two birds swirling their way towards the Kent farm. In no time they were there. He wished them to land and they did.
It was back in the field, the same field he told her his secret. The same field where he felt death rush upon him, the same field where she…, it brought tears to his eyes.
"Clark what is wrong?" Lana asked him, wiping away the tears.
"I thought I was going to lose you Lana."
"I thought I was going to lose you Clark."
They both stared at each other. "Lana I'm so sorry I'm not the person you wanted me to be." He said looking away from her.
She placed a hand on his cheek and turned his head to face her, "No, you're not. But I still love you."
She still loved him. That was all he needed, somewhere deep in his soul he knew that was all he needed. All he needed was her love. That's what would get him through everything was that she loved him. That was it… or so he thought.
"I love you, but I can't be there for you Clark." She said.
Clark's suddenly felt powerless. He felt like everything was being drained out of his body. Why? Why couldn't she be there for him? He could be there for her, he knew he could… right?
"You can't be there for me either Clark." She frowned, the tears filling her own eyes. She knew. She knew he wouldn't be there for her. They would be driven away like the sun drives away the dark clouds. She couldn't explain it to him, she didn't know how, but she knew. He'd realize it to soon.
"I don't understand Lana…"
-End of part 11
Part 12
Lana sighed; she didn't know what exactly to say. She couldn't express what she knew; she couldn't express what her soul was screaming at her. "You must realize it a bit Clark?"
Clark just shook his head, "I thought all that mattered was love."
Lana turned her head, "In a perfect world Clark, that would be true, but that's a dream you are thinking of."
"How?" Clark looked down and then around like he wasn't sure where he was. Like his own farm was new to him, "I still don't understand."
She turned her back to him, and freely wiped the tears from her eyes. How could she make him understand? Didn't he see? Clark Kent isn't meant for Smallville, he's destined for greater things. The destiny he makes has to be his own. The path he takes he has to construct himself. Lana knew that with her there such a path couldn't be created. No, his destiny would be put on hold for her. She couldn't let that happened. She loved him too much, more than he would ever know.
"Clark, please you have to go. You have to run, fly… go…, far away! Far away from Smallville! You need to go where you are needed."
"But…," she stopped him.
"I don't need you Clark. I need you to leave here and not think about me. You need to go and do great things. You won't find answers here in Smallville Clark, it's time to move on."
"I don't want to move on. I want to stay with you."
"Then I will leave. You can't watch over me forever Clark," she leaned up and kissed him, "You will always have my heart no matter what."
He leaned in close to her feeling every sense she contained. He was slightly angry at what she was saying, but too heartbroken to do anything about it. Why did she want him out of her life? Maybe she didn't love him. Maybe the secret did leave a permanent slit between them. He sighed losing himself in her eyes, "Your heart isn't the same if it doesn't come with the breathtaking smile I'm used to pulling me out of any peril."
Her own heart broke upon those words. "Please Clark don't make this any harder on me."
Clark nodded and backed away. He always listened to her. He was always obedient to her no matter what was said. He wiped away one solemn tear and flew high into the air and disappeared just like a waking dream.
Lana looked at the spot she last saw him. Way up within the sky. She'll never forget the sorrowful look he had on his face as he left her. She could feel a part of him die just upon the look on his face and it hurt her to see it so. All she wanted to do was run after him, but that was impossible and she knew that it was useless to do so anyway. This was for the better…, right? Then why did it feel so wrong? "I did what you wanted me to do! Now please fulfill your end of the bargain!"
Kal – El's voice came into Lana's mind and in a very soothing, comforting voice, "Thank you."
"You have to fulfill your end though! You have to watch over him and make sure nothing ever happens to him!" She cried.
"I promise I'll keep him safe. I couldn't get him to start on his destiny myself. I needed your help and for it I promise to watch out for Clark." Kal-El told Lana.
Lana just nodded to the voice unaware of whether it could see her nod or not. She didn't really care. She felt horrible, she felt like the worst person in the world. She was devastated, her heart was nothing but winter leaves, crumbling with each waking gust of the wind. She fell lightly to her knees and laid her hands in her lap. She lightly began to sing hoping that maybe Clark was singing the same song. That maybe they could connect in some way. 'I did this to protect him' she kept repeating to herself. But…, who's going to protect me?
She lightly sang…,
I came to you in the evening blue
To tell you of my soul
I approached under the moon
Yet, I said it all without you
-The end
