The 12 Labors of Cyborg

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. Shockingly, I don't own Greek Mythology, either. Turns out I wasn't around… back then.

A/N: Now you can tell your parents you ARE studying for your Mythology Test! Oboebyrd teaches you everything you need to know about… stuff! Not C/SF pairing! C/SF friendship! That's it! (Kind of friendship.) And yes, Raven will appear…

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The Nemean Lion

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"Cyborg, you broke my picture frame! Cyyyyborg…"

Cyborg's voice, mockingly mimicking Starfire, mingled cheerfully with the noises of the city. Pedestrians shouting on cell-phones, babies crying, car horns honking, people screaming in fear, a lion roaring…

…a lion roaring?

Cyborg glanced up in shock, only to see a massive lion rushing down the middle of the street. Cars swerved to avoid it- pedestrians turned, in mad panic, dashing away from the cat. Cyborg started forward, sonic cannon appearing on the end of his arm…

"Wait! Wait!"

Cyborg turned around in shock. A man wearing a beige suit and green khakis, gasping and out of breath, came half jogging, half-limping up towards him. A highly stylized green name tag- Billy D., Binder Zoo, was stitched onto his chest.  He came to a panting, winded halt. "Don't… kill… the… lion…" he gasped. "It… got… free… of… it's cage…" the man took a breath, and his voice seemed to catch up with his body. "We already darted it, but it won't go down… it's half crazed! Please, don't kill it…"

"Fine, fine…" Cyborg grumbled. He hadn't been intending to kill it anyway.

The half robot rushed forward, lunging at the lion as it made a leap at a screaming woman- and grabbed it by the tail. The cat yelped as its momentum tugged the busy extremity- and turned around, lunging at Cyborg. It was fast- he raised one arm to shield himself from its claws. A bit of metal tore free, and the hiss of sparks was equaled by a hiss of pain from Cyborg.

He grappled with it for a minute- but the lion was just a little too crazed to easily be held, not even by a man of his incredible, mechanically enhanced strength. It squirmed free- and took off running.

"Get back here!" Cyborg roared, chasing after it.

This only made the lion run faster. With a grimace of annoyance, Cyborg increased his own pace. The lion disappeared down an alley- Cyborg barreled in after it- and the lion was suddenly on top of him. Its hot, rank breath beat down on Cyborg's face… was… it going to bite him? Cyborg shoved it off before it could try… the lion scrambled backwards, and turned and darted through a nearby broken window.

Cyborg scrambled through after it- unlike the huge cat, though, he wasn't half as nimble, and ended up on his stomach on the dusty floor of the building. Cyborg stood slowly up, dusting off his armor, watching for the slightest sign of movement around him.

The building was quiet. And deserted. The dust of ages covered the ground- everything was darker, darker than dark… a little too dark, actually, and Cyborg mentally cursed, wondering who up there had a thing against him. This was supposed to just be a simple trip to make copies of a photograph and pick up a picture frame, for goodness sake! And now he was traipsing through an abandoned building, hunting a lion. It was perfect… more than perfect… had Starfire somehow laid a curse on his head, or was he just destined to be unlucky. Oh well… at least it couldn't get any worse.

It was then he noticed the paw prints in the dust. They weren't hard to miss- the lion was a massive animal, moving sluggishly, and it wasn't trying to be careful, anymore. Cyborg started off on the trail of the lion… it wasn't long before he found it, crouched underneath an old assembly line, glittering eyes staring at him. He could hear it's breathing… loud, tired… angry…

"Here, kitty kitty kitty…" Cyborg said, beckoning for it.

The lion growled. Cyborg frowned. The lion slunk further back underneath the assembly line… Cyborg's frown deepened. "I said come here," he grumbled in annoyance.

Glittering eyes withdrew even further underneath the assembly line. Cyborg inched forward… and the lion roared, lunging at him. Cyborg drew back, catching its powerful claws in his hands… what had Beast Boy said about wounded animals? Oh yeah… never corner them.

How helpful it was to remember that advice now…

For what seemed like an eternity, the metal-man grappled with the lion. "Bad kitty! BAD KITTY!" He screamed, as it tried again and again to eat his face. If anything, this admonishment seemed to make the lion angrier.

A few more minutes dragged agonizingly on… the lion was kicking at him, now. Though his metal armor protected him from disembowelment, he could only imagine the scratches and scuffs he was going to have all over him by the time this little episode was done… and then he would tell Robin that he wasn't doing laundry two times in a row.

"Wait a second- I don't even HAVE to do laundry! I don't wear clothes!" Cyborg screamed.

This sudden revelation… no wonder Robin had seemed so willing to absolve Cyborg of his responsibility for that chore… made Cyborg even angrier. He at long last overpowered the crazed lion, pinning it to the floor.

The big cat, its strength already waning from the tranquilizer, growled, snuffled, and then fell into a deep doze. Cyborg sat back, wiping at his brow with one hand, a smile of success on his face. Now who was the Beast Boy, huh? He had totally whupped the lion's ass…

It was then the zoo-keeper showed up, along with a few of his coworkers. They approached the lion cautiously. Green Billy D., Binder Zoo, smiled broadly at Cyborg. "Thank you so much for your help!" He exclaimed.

"No problem," Cyborg grumbled. Once he was certain that the zoo-keepers had everything under control… and that the lion wouldn't be escaping from them again anytime soon… he let himself out through the front door (which was boarded shut, not that that stopped him) and headed back down the street towards the Photo Shop.

"Hel-lo," the chime of the door greeted him as he stepped inside. A friendly-looking clerk grinned at him.

"Hello, sir. How can I help you?" He asked, as the half-robot approached the desk.

"I need to get a picture repaired… or copied, or something. Can you do that here?" He asked.

The clerk nodded primly. "But of course."

Cyborg reached down to pull the picture out of his pocket compartment. It wasn't there. With growing dread, Cyborg began to search all of his other compartments. Nothing. Nothing!

"We'll need the picture in order to copy it, sir," the clerk said, with the tired voice of someone who was used to dealing with this type of person everyday.

Nothing… nothing… it was gone! "I DROPPED THE PICTURE!"