The 12 Labors of Cyborg
Disclaimer: I never claimed to own Teen Titans, and I never will. As for Greek Mythology… that belongs to everyone. Mostly the current Greeks, I guess. Something has to make up for My Big Fat Greek Wedding (also not mine.)
A/N: ::Spins in circles making motor-boat noises:: Once again, I make stuff up. That's what fan fiction writers do, though…
~~~~~
The Hind of Ceryneia
~~~~~
Cyborg practically skipped in the direction of the Photo Shop. Maybe today wasn't going to be such a bad day after all. He had captured a rogue lion, saved the world from enslavement, and finally recaptured Starfire's prized Photograph. Of course, by now it was looking a little more than a bit worn around the edges… but that's what the Photo Shop was for!
He skipped up to the doorway, pushed on it- and it didn't budge. Locked… luckily he hadn't pushed it too hard… He took a step backwards… "Out for Lunch- Be Back at 1" read the sign- a clock below it had the small hand pointed towards the twelve and the big hand towards the one… somebody didn't know how to read a clock, apparently.
With a disgusted sigh, Cyborg sat himself down on the curb. He didn't mind waiting for the Photo Shop clerk… after fighting Hydra, he thought he rather deserved a break… a chance to catch his breath…
…who was going to clean up that mess, anyway? Cyborg let his attention wander back towards the ruins of the building, not that it was any longer within his sight. And then he shrugged… he had cleaned house, somebody else could take out the trash. Right now, all he wanted to do was get this picture into the hands of the Photo Shop clerk.
An hour passed- and the clerk had yet to return. The minutes creeped by at a pace so slow Cyborg thought for sure that time was moving backwards… just to spite him, of course. 1:05… 1:15… 1:30…
"Awfully long lunch break," Cyborg grumbled. By now he was feeling completely refreshed- his power cells mostly filled up, as well. And he had even taken time to repair his communicator!
1:35…
1:40…
"Oh come on!" Cyborg shouted in annoyance, jumping to his feet. He paced in front of the door… "Lazy clerk!" He bellowed at no one in particular. Pedestrians were giving him a wide berth again. Again, he didn't care. He stormed up and down in front of the store, stopping to tap his foot impatiently, and basically doing everything he could short of getting himself arrested for disrupting the peace.
And still… the clerk would not come.
Cyborg thought he had had a fairly rough day so far… and things were just getting worse, now. Sure, a late clerk at the Photo Shop didn't seem as troubling as a rampaging lion or a squid-like monstrosity trying to take over the world, but… well, an annoyance was all in one's perception of the word, anyway. Cyborg was annoyed.
So he glowered at passerbys. And scared them.
Two o'clock rolled around… and the clerk had yet to show up. Cyborg was about to move on… (either that, or break the windows, but moving on was probably better) when he heard sirens in the distance. Cyborg scowled, and headed in that direction… someone was going to pay for the clerk's lateness…
Five police cars were parked in front of the City Museum. Cyborg approached the chief- or at least, the guy who looked like he was in charge. "What's up?" He asked, trying to keep his voice light. Maybe it was a little too light. The officer gave him a wide-eyed stare as if he'd just grown a third leg and wanted the officer to shave it.
"We have Gizmo trapped in the museum! He's threatened to start breaking the priceless works of art unless we give him what he wants," the officer said, wringing his hands together.
Cyborg stared at him for a minute. "Are you new on the force?" He asked.
The officer nodded, a look of shock entering his eyes. "Why, yes, how did you-"
"Figures," Cyborg grumbled, and then announced, "I'll go in there and destroy him! Er… catch him. You guys just get your handcuffs ready," he said, and stormed up to the museum doors. He let himself in, closed the doors, and then shouted, "GET YOUR TINY ASS OUT HERE GIZMO SO I CAN BEAT IT!"
His voice echoed ominously down the emptied halls. Unsurprisingly, there was no response. Cyborg stalked along, keeping both eyes- human and robotic- open for any sign of the little twerp. The museum was not very large, but it was definitely dark, spooky, and ominously quiet. Why was it dark? Cyborg grumbled to himself. The instant a villain appeared on the scene, did the owners of property turn off the lights?
"Dammit, Gizmo," Cyborg grumbled as he stalked down the darkened hallways. "All I wanted to do today was go to the Photo Shop…"
No, that wasn't quite true… Initially all he had wanted to play video games and drink Rootbeer. Now all he wanted to do was obey Starfire and avoid a painful death.
"What's this?" Said a imp-like voice from behind him. Cyborg wheeled around. Gizmo was in his spider-like contraption, held up by four spindly, metallic legs. He had the photograph in his hands, and laughed as he looked at the expression on Raven's face. "You Titans are such dorks!"
Cyborg leveled his sonic cannon at Gizmo. "Give that back or I turn you into paste."
A dozen thoughts flickered through Gizmo's imp-like little face… and then he mumbled, "Paste? That doesn't even make sense…"
The sonic cannon began to charge. Gizmo took off down the hall. "GET BACK HERE!" Cyborg bellowed, and chased after him. Gizmo only ran faster… he had no intentions of being turned into 'paste' by Cyborg, even if no matter of chemical coaxing could ever turn the human body into a cheap adhesive.
Gizmo dove into the next room he found, and Cyborg plowed in after him. The little weapons expert had hidden behind a massive, hideous statue made out of copper and bronze… it looked something like a deer- at least, that's what the plaque underneath it declared… "Red Deer. Ceryneia, Greece."
"Gizmo, come out from behind that statue, and I will hurt you a little less than I was going to hurt if you I got my hands on you before," Cyborg said. He thought that was reasonable- apparently Gizmo didn't agree.
"I'm not going anywhere near you, you bucket of outdated machinery," Gizmo grumbled. His voice sounded oddly muffled…
"Are you eating my photograph?" Cyborg demanded. He began creeping in the direction of the ugly metal deer.
Gizmo's voice, still somewhat muffled, filtered back, now sounding a little surprised. "Uh… no… I'm not. Why would I… oh, never mind."
"Brat, come out from behind there. If you don't, I'm going to blast you here and now and hope that the cleaning crew can get blood off of the ceiling!" Cyborg screamed. Once again, he thought he was being fairly reasonable. He amended, in a kind tone of voice, "and you know I never make promises like that unless I can keep them."
Gizmo laughed mockingly. "Dumb machine… you wouldn't blast me! You'd hit the statue and I know how much you goody-goodies hate to…" The statue disintegrated in front of him. "…destroy… old… things…"
He stared up in horror as Cyborg came stalking up and grabbed him by the back of the shirt, lifting him off the ground. Cyborg snatched back the photograph. "You were saying?"
"But… but… that statue was priceless! And you good guys never blow up museum stuff!" Gizmo stuttered, his voice hovering on the edge of incoherency and disbelief.
Cyborg shrugged. "You're obviously a threat to society. The statue did its part to keep our fair city safe. Besides, I'm sure the artist can just make another one."
"IT'S THREE THOUSAND YEARS OLD!"
"Oh," Cyborg shrugged. "It was ugly, anyway."
Gizmo shouted in frustration- Cyborg wasn't quite sure quite what he was upset about- the destruction of the statue or the fact that he had just been caught. And as Cyborg tossed the little bald villain in the backseat of one of the cop cars, he didn't really care either way.
"Oh, and by the way- Gizmo vaporized one of the statues in there," Cyborg mentioned to the nervous officer as he walked back towards the Photo Shop.
"What? WHAT! LIAR! LIAAAAAAR!" Gizmo screamed after the hero as he disappeared.
Cyborg grinned. This day was actually turning out to be quite pleasant…