The X-Files, Episode Two

Written by Fred Pickles

Disclaimer: Didn't I have a disclaimer on the first episode?

Mulder returned to the set the next day, with a little something to shove in John's face.

"It's a script!" Mulder clearly expressed his thoughts of what the seventy-three pages of tiny text stapled together where that he had just thrown to John.

"But Mulder," John professionally complained, "I already wrote a script for the entire first ten seasons, and I'm the director."

"Who said I'm even staying for the first ten seasons?" Mulder commented.

"You're not, you're actually going to sign off somewhere in-between 2001 and 2002, but you're going to stay for the feature-length movies we'll be making of this picture."

"John, don't be making predictions of my future! It's only -" (Mulder checked his watch) "- 1993! Anyway, whoever said you'll be directing for ten seasons! You idiot, I might be directing by then. I won't want to use you're crappy script. Look what happened to the first episode when we used it!"

"Exactly," John muttered, glancing at the TV section in the newspaper, "The ratings topped the chart."

Mulder peeked at the paper, but saw nothing for his perspective.

"What chart?" He asked curiously – he'd been wondering this all his life -.

"I'm not sure, it's just a saying."

Two seconds later, it was decided that filming of the second episode should probably begin taking place, for a couple of reasons. The film containing the second episode was to be collecting by Monday morning, which was no less then 24 hours away. Because neither of the two would accept using the other's script, it was also decided that there would be no script.

So, Mulder spent the episode looking thoroughly around the TV show's set for a script that didn't seem to exist. With eerie music, and an appearance from John, the director, which was filmed for the hopeful purpose of spooking their TV audience with his horrible acting, the test screening was a hit, and so was the Monday night airing of the show.

Mulder was beginning to realize that the first two episode's of this show only contained him deciding that if it rained too hard, most electronics broke down, and that this show was so horrid, he couldn't find a script, even with a spooky guest appearance from their idiotic director.

Mulder also thought that day of changing his name, moving to Canada, even if it involved treacherous hitchhiking, and starting a new career.