Just One Wish
12/06/04
Summary: Just one wish can change everything. Tuskino Usagi finds this out in the strangest way.
AN: I started writing this story and had the idea of it before I remembered there was a song by the same name and incorporated it. BTW I wanted to add that the song portion of this fic is restricted only to the first chapter. So without further ado, the story:
Chapter 1
Usagi sat at her windowsill and stared out into the distance. The snow fell heavily blocking her view from the bare trees still in the process of loosing it's last few stubborn leaves. As the blankets of snow fell, tears rolled down her cheeks.
In the background a familiar song played, one she had heard many times before, but this time it was more poignant.
If I could have just one wish
It would be to turn back time
To go back into the lonely past
To the days when you were mine.
Usagi dropped the frame she was cradling in her hands. She gasped and picked it back up, avoiding the shards that pointed out towards her delicate fingers. She managed to scrape her forefinger along one splintered piece. "Ow." She pushed her bleeding finger into her mouth.
If I could have just one wish
It would be to be with you
Because I know that in my heart
My love is forever true
She moved the frame with her free hand and set it down against her counter. She flipped it over and opened the case to pull the picture out and held it against her chest. When she felt that her finger stopped bleeding she released it from her lips. She removed the picture pressed against her chest and looked down at it, running her uninjured fingers over the image.
If I could have just one wish
It would be to be in your arms
To have you hold me, touch me, kiss me
To keep me out of harm.
It was a picture of Chiba Mamoru, a man who was cruel to her everyday, one that didn't show feelings beyond dislike and sarcasm. It was a sad man who never let his emotions show, but Usagi had stumbled upon him one day. A day where he couldn't hold it back any longer, a day where his soul was reveled.
If I could have just one wish
The future is what I would see
So I could know if someday soon
You would be with me.
She snapped the shot without a second thought, knowing it was probably the only time she'd see him like that. She had made sure the flash hadn't gone off so as not to alert him to her presence. He was in an extremely public place and she was amazed that he'd choose some place so public to show his vulnerability.
If I could have just one wish
I would be able to read people's minds
So I could hear your hopes, your fears
And hear what's going on inside.
It wasn't much. It hadn't been full blown tears and sobs and yelling at the sun and moon. No, it had been a quiet release. It was so much like him and that's what had scared her, it wasn't the impact that melodramatic movies tried for, it was the performance only the best actors could barely reach. The deep pain in his eyes, the downward cast of his lips, the lost look on his face, it was all subtle changes but powerful.
She didn't understand why he wouldn't try to keep these emotions private in the safety of his home. Perhaps he couldn't be alone at home. With the information that he was letting fall through, Usagi made it her prerogative to be nicer to him, now knowing the truth behind his closed personality. He wasn't a heartless man and she was reminded of that every times she looked at the picture that she held in her lifeless hands.
If I could have just one wish
It would be to move on with my life
Because you were my one true love
And you cut my heart like a knife.
So she put up with it day in and day out. Finding pleasure in the time he spent with her because as she watched him further she found out that he never teased another person. Not even his supposed best friend Motoki. Today it had gone too far; today she had given him a thoughtful gift. A present of goodwill. He didn't even glance at it as she placed it in his hand; he just stared at her with something burning in his gaze. She didn't know what it was but it was the first time he had shown something to her since she stumbled upon his raw outpouring.
She understood it took time to undo life's scars. She understood that with the pressures of their society to keep everything hidden yet at the same time be the best and enjoy life confused people and they broke off into extremes always looking for the middle path. She understood and she was willing to wait it out with him. If only he'd let her in just a tiny bit, just enough to know that she was getting somewhere.
That out pouring of emotion and pained love made Usagi realize that there was indeed some good in Mamoru and knowing that melted her own wall as if it was made of butter. She had fallen in love with him.
He had never purposely hurt somebody. As far as she knew he had never risen a fist in somebody's direction or inflicted any other type of pain except shutting them out of his life. Which is why his most resent action hurt her. She had forgotten her bag in a booth and had to go back to the arcade for it, and there still sitting on the counter was the gift she had placed in his hand.
It hadn't been much and it hadn't been worth a heck of a lot but she had put time and effort in thinking of something he'd like. She never thought that he would be so mean as to totally disregard her gift.
She had grabbed her bag and fled back to her house and cried as she took a shower. There was something healing about water washing away her salty tears. But not even the shower this time could rid her of the pain that was eating away at her soul. Usagi didn't know what else to do besides come straight out tell him she loved him.
If I could have just one wish
IT would be to forget all about you
Because you see I can't live with myself
Knowing I'm not with you.
Telling him wasn't an option. She could see it now; his usually impassive face would be covered with disbelief that she expected somebody like him to return her feelings. She could handle the coldness but she could handle the incredibility and disgust he would surely exclude. What's worse he wouldn't even respond, but stare at her as he did that morning, with no registration of her depth, only contempt. She shivered just thinking of those eyes that could hold so much looking at her in that dead gaze as she laid her heart on the floor for him to walk all over.
No, perhaps it was best not to tell him. "I just wish I knew a way we could be together and if that is too difficult then I wish I'd never met you." Usagi's tear fell onto the pristine chemically enhanced film and it spread. The shiny surface became marred becoming a dull and coarse textured. Just like her heart, Usagi thought numbly, tearing the picture in half. She would not waste another moment on a dead case. The two halves floated onto the blood stained, cracked glass as she shuffled into the bathroom to scrub at her eyes.
She plastered a bright smile onto her lips and forced giddiness into her step as she flounced down the stairs to join in the Christmas Eve celebrations. He was pushed to the farthest reaches of her mind.
On the other side of town a young man was staring at the gift still sitting on the bar and every time he took two steps towards it he took one back. He was fighting with temptation and what was so deeply ingrained within him. His best friend watched this with sympathetic eyes, understanding too well that Mamoru was struggling. Perhaps it was time for somebody to stop thinking they understood and made a solid change.
A wish would be granted that night.