D i s c l a i m e r : Nope, don't own it.
W a r n i n g : Yaoi, implied sex.Some spoilers from 239 to 241.
H y p o c r i s i e s
I n t e r t w i n e d
1. Fascinating Rivalry
To me you were nothing special. To me you were just another snobby prodigy of an Uchiha joining the Anbu. Graduating before the proper age; a high achiever.
I guess I couldn't say much, since I was basically the same as you; passing the jounin exam at the age of twelve. But you were better than me. You managed to be in the Anbu squad at the age of ten.
I eyed you with distaste, ranking you from head to toe. You sensed me, placing me under the spell of those unfeeling obsidian eyes. So dark, so cold, yet filled with so much unspoken secrets.
My first impression for you was thatI did not like you. In fact, I hated you.
You walked towards me; lithe and confident strives as if you own the world.
"Greetings, Hatake Kakashi," your pale face mocked me quietly.
Uchiha Itachi. I hissed.
"How flattering it is, to hear that the son of the legendary hero, the White Fang, knows my name," smirking slightly, emphasizing the word 'hero'. "We would be team mates from now on, nice to have your acquaintance."
I stared at the hand offered to me, then turned my gaze to your perfect face again, "the pleasure is all mine," the hand hung neglected.
You chortled lightly, retrieving the hand of friendship, expression never faltering.
With a graceful full turn of heels, you started walking away. Then paused, with your head half turned, you glanced back, "see you around…Kakashi."
It could have been my imagination, but I think I saw a minor curve of your lips on the last word.
2. Unfriendly 'Friendly Competition'
The members of Anbu attend training sessions together, apparently, having your fellow team-mates beside you help you to strive harder. That was what you would call a 'friendly competition'.
But to me, these sessions were a blur off seals; a handful of shurikens; a satisfaction of beating everyone else; a stepping stone to the top.
An eruption of cheers went off around me. I turned to see you surrounded by others, congratulating you on something. Your activated Sharingan met mine through crowd of heads. My eyes darted to the figure that lay by your feet, just in time to see it disappear in a puff of smoke.
3. Brutal Affection
I was lonely for a twenty one-year-old. My best friend, Obito, died on the first year of my jounin career. My sensei, Yondaime, died from the incident of Kyuubi when I was fourteen. With the two people I had ever loved gone, I refused to love, or so far as care for, anyone else. Looking back, probably in fears of losing them again.
Their head stones stood still in the stagnant summer afternoon. I closed my eyes, wanting to catch even the slightest movement in the air; something to stir my rigid heart; to blow away my frustrated mind.
"It's rare to see you in such a distorted state."
My eye flew open to see you sitting on one of the gravestones in the shade with your poker-face in place. Spots of marmalade light filtered through the leaves and onto your fair skin, contrasting with the shadows that shrouded you.
In a flash, I was in front of you, one hand grasping the front of that navy Uchiha shirt, "What would you know about distortion or pain?" I spat.
Your skeletal hand clasped around mine, eyes darkening. You jerked me closer to your face, so close that I could feel your breath on my face; so close that I could count each heartbeat, "Try me…"
The wind picked up, the rain clouds in the distance pushing the afternoon along. Your hair flailed against the current.
The iciness of your hand chilled me to the bone. Stirring up a tornado of feelings inside—
Hatelovefrustrationlustdesparationsadnessangerpainlonelinesssolitudehelplessnesshatelovefrustrationlustdesparationsadnessangerpainlonelinesssolitudehelplessnesshatelovefrustraion—
Our lips collided hard, biting on each other's lips, drawing blood. Tongues intertwined, exploring deeper; filling the numbness inside.
4. Caring Impassivity
For the next few months we spent many nights having sex. Why such an aloof word? Because anything beyond that was too passionate for us, except maybe for 'fuck' that still fits the category.
You were twelve while I was twenty-one. I knew I would be called a 'child-molester' or a paedophile for these less than legal actions. But this world is full of judgmental people; they needed something to talk about.
No matter how ardent we were the night before, we would still acted like merely acquaintances in public; little better than strangers, though not by much.
At the beginning, you tried to see my face beneath the mask. I wouldn't let you. Over time, your curiosity subsided, until one day, it ceased completely. Or perhaps it was compressed into your heart.
Often, I'll wake up in the morning, only to find modest signs of care and affection. You would make me breakfast. Somehow, you grasp all my likes and dislikes within the first few days.
You would wash and fold my laundry for me.
You would clean my house.
You would refill my fridge.
But you were never there in the morning.
And we have never said "I love you."
Surprisingly, it didn't affect me as much as it should.
5. Alien Pertain
I was lying in your lap with you above me, gently picking at my ears when I felt this sudden spread of warmth. As if something melted inside me. I wanted to nothing but to hold your hand and yell out my proposal. I was horrified at the thought, and shoved it to the back of my mind, dismissing it as temporary insanity.
6. Untruthful Honesty
You came and saw me the night before the Uchiha Massacre.
It was a peaceful night, unlike the one that was about to take place.
I could feel a surge of anticipation when I heard the light 'puff 'of your appearance no matter how frantically I denied it.
"Itachi."
"Hn," was your reply to my acknowledgment.
You glided to my side, plopped on the couch, and forcibly grab hold of my chin, imposing me to face you.
"I'm going to kill off my clan tomorrow by this time," you confessed. Dark eyes staring at me, sucking me in.
"Aa," I merely shrugged.
"…You are not going to stop me?" The force on my chin slackened.
"Why would I do that? It's a free world," my visible eye curved into a half moon shape.
You let go, hands fell neatly into your lap. You angled your face up, catching the moonlight, "Then...are you going to miss me?"
I nearly lost myself from watching you; demeanor like a lost child, screaming fatigue. Fortunately, I caught myself in time, "Maybe…" My lips found yours, "But I'm definitely going to miss this…"
You signed, and pulled away, "Do you love me?"
Eyes twinkled, never missing a beat that time, I smiled. Knowing that you knew the answer.
My kisses trailed from your earlobe down to your neck. Leaving red marks at its wake. My hands traveled under your shirt and up your toned torso, teasing your nipples. And just like all the other times, you let me.
After the climax, I collapsed on top of you. The lust has passed away from your eyes, uncovering all the morose that were buried in its depth.
I have never seen you so emotion, so distorted, yet so human before.
Perhaps the sadness and loneliness were always there, it was just that no one ever tried looking for them.
7. Faulty Flawlessness
Now at the age of twenty-six, I have rediscovered the art of love and care. It was on the night when you left Konoha for good did I realize that—
It was my fault that everyone I love left me.
I refused to go and save Rin was what cost Obito's life.
Not being strong enough to help my instructor was one of the reasons why he had to scarify his life.
The next day, I heard the news of the tragedy that occurred. I vowed to be as strong as I can to protect the ones I care about; in body and heart.
I admit you made me realize that.
When I was assigned with Team 7, I found your brother to be ascribed in the team. He is so much like you when you were his age. Both forced to be mature for your clan, but for different reasons. Still, both of you are unable to rid yourself out of that tiny thread of innocence children were blessed with.
Most of all, both of you look so perfect, so confident, yet so breakable.
Looking at him makes me realize how much I hate perfection, and how much I hate you.
But, if you ask again now whether I love you or not, the answershould be different.
-O w a r i-
A u t ho r e s s ' s D r a b b l e :
Didn't turn out as good as I planed. Don't you just hate it when you get this amazing idea in your head but sounds like crap when written down?
:. The biggest hypocrisy of alllove is hate, and hate is love.
