The 12 Labors of Cyborg
Disclaimer: I own the Cretan Bull. No wait, I'm lying. I am also lying when I say I own the Teen Titans. I'm very bad at lying.
A/N: No, my name is not Emily. Yes, I know someone named Emily. No, I wasn't thinking of her when I came up with the name. Yes, I will now. Yes, I would find it very amusing to see the person I know named Emily assaulted by living origami swans. Yes, I would pay good money to see it happen. No, throwing them doesn't make them alive. Lotus Cat- I accept Money orders, cash, or check.
~~~~~
The Cretan Bull
~~~~~
It turned out the craft store didn't sell picture frames. But Cyborg had gotten the sales girl's phone number, and that was counted as a success in his book. Maybe she'd be cute, when not covered in blue glitter paint and too scared to comprehend English. Cute or not, it would be nice to have an honest-to-God date for once.
He decided it was time to head back to the Tower. It was getting late, he was tired, and he was pretty sure his battery was going to run out at any minute. Well, his battery… or his sanity.
Cyborg growled in frustration. If Starfire yelled at him again, he would... shoot her with his sonic cannon. That seemed to be the viable answer to the problems he was facing today… shoot it. Not only would shooting her shut her up very fast, it'd also probably get him suspended from the team for a few days. Long entire to recover a little bit from this Day of Hell.
Anyway, he honestly felt the day had been long enough. He could explain this to Starfire when he got back… the Rat episode all by its lonesome made for a pretty long day, and by now Raven had probably returned to the Tower and let everyone know why half of the city was now covered in rodent entrails.
He stopped in front of the Photoshop on the way back to the Tower… glanced in the window. The clerk wasn't up front. Cyborg glanced at his watch, and amused himself trying to figure out just how much time had passed between when he had left the Photoshop and what time it was now. An hour at the most. Time sure flew when you were being victimized by the forces of evil and their sick sense of humor.
He didn't feel like waiting around for another two hours, though.
Yes… he would go back to the Tower. Whoever was on chore duty the next day could pick up the picture, and as for the picture frame, they didn't need it until they had the picture to put within it. That made Cyborg feel a little better about abandoning his 'quest.'
"Friend Cyborg!"
Cyborg wheeled around. Starfire was rocketing towards him, a huge grin on her face. Cyborg wanted to scream. So he did.
Starfire floated to a halt in front of him, looking decidedly confused. "Friend Cyborg, what is wrong?" She asked carefully. "What caused your shriek of dismay?"
Cyborg chuckled nervously. "Let's just say I'm really glad to see you, Star," he lied artfully.
"I am happy to see you as well!" Starfire exclaimed, clapping her hands. Her glowing green eyes flickered in the direction of the Photoshop, and then back towards Cyborg. "We are at the place of photograph repair! Do you have the repaired photograph, friend Cyborg?" She asked hopefully.
Cyborg hated to break her heart like this, but… "No. No I don't. It isn't ready yet."
Starfire looked dismayed, but not as upset as Cyborg was kind of hoping. Instead, she only shrugged, then nodded. "That is understandable, yes? You must have been out for a long, long time… Raven told us about the rats," at this, Starfire shuddered. "We are watching movies of comedy and enjoying Cheesy Poufs and Baking Soda, would you like to join us?"
Cyborg shuddered. After seeing the snack foods spared in the grocery store, and after having a few minutes to think over what, exactly, that might mean, he was not really looking forward to eating them. Baking Soda in and of itself seemed a little more appetizing.
"Well, at the very least I'd like to go back to the Tower… and actually sit down…" Cyborg said quietly.
Starfire nodded and clapped her hands. And then she stopped, a puzzled look coming over her face. "Uhm… Cyborg? That is not normal, is it?"
Cyborg turned around. A massive, mechanical bull, puffing smoke and flames from its nostrils, was bearing down the street at them, its shoulders bumping the buildings alongside it, the wheels- it ground along like a tank instead of actually walking on four legs- crushing cars left and right. "No… no Star, that's not normal."
The bull snorted flame from its nostrils- like flamethrowers, fire rocketed down towards the pair. Starfire dodged nimbly to one side, and Cyborg jumped out of the way- flames licked across the concrete, leaving black, charred rubble in its way. Cyborg lifted his hand and fired off a massive blast of energy from his sonic cannon- that hit the metal bull's armor… and glanced off harmlessly. "Eek!" Starfire yelped, as the energy sluiced off, nearly striking her. "Terrible beast!" She shouted, and threw a starbolt at the machine. The starbolt reflected off harmlessly, bouncing off and grinding into the side of a building, leaving a steaming hole in its wake.
The enormous machine bucked its head wildly- the side of one horn struck Starfire in the stomach. She tumbled helplessly through the air- Cyborg rushed forward to try and catch her, but the enormous machine was already firing off another blast of flames. Cyborg dove out of the way- Starfire landed on top of him- and the Photoshop went up in flames.
"NOOO!!!" Cyborg screamed, rushing straight for the bull and punching it right where the monster's chest would be. An enormous metallic clang resounded through the city streets- Cyborg stumbled a few steps backwards, shaking wildly. He grabbed his hand. "OW!"
Flames leapt up eagerly from the Photoshop- the clerk went running from the store, screaming. Starfire had gotten to her feet after being dumped ingloriously off of Cyborg, and had taken to the air, drawing the bull's fire. Flames dissipated harmlessly in midair, and Starfire grinned and stuck her tongue out at the bull. "I am sorry, but your aim is not very good!" She taunted.
"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Cyborg screamed incoherently. He grabbed the tread on one of the bull's wheels, pulling as hard as he could- part of snapped off, but the bull was still grinding slowly forward, and Cyborg was forced to retreat before he was crushed alive.
He had just gotten the picture into the Photoshop! Now it was certainly in flames… ruined forever… Cyborg's sonic cannon fired again, at point-blank range- the energy reflected off of its steel hide- straight back into Cyborg's chest. Once he extracted himself from the building across the street, the bull had once again taken down Starfire- she had managed to clip off one of its horns, though- the sparking, metallic extremity was lying, forgotten, behind it on the street. Cyborg grinned. "I have an idea, Star- keep it busy!" He exclaimed.
Starfire was darting back and forth, flames hot on her tail. If she heard him, she didn't give any sign… she was already a little too busy keeping the bull occupied to worry about… keeping the bull occupied.
Cyborg skirted around the treads of the mechanical bull, and then picked up the massive horn. It was easily three times longer than he was… but he wielded it like anyone else would swing a baseball bat. Cyborg took the tip of it in both hands, spun around, and then let the horn fly- it struck the bull directly in it back, between the two treads- sparks flew, and a massive explosion rocked the monster. Flame poured helplessly out of its nostrils.
The severed horn fell sluggishly back to the ground, pulling a few shreds of metal after it. A doorway was easily visible, though… Cyborg sprinted towards the doorway, grabbed it and easily ripped it off- with the super-structure of the bull weakened, it gave into to his super strength with little fuss.
The half-robot man lunged into the darkened inner bowels of the bull. Machinery sparked and hummed on either side of him- Cyborg lashed out with both hands, destroying as he went. He could hear the grind of the treads and the spit of the flamethrower- as well as explosions as the bull ran over cars and as Starfire launched her starbolts at its otherwise impenetrable hide.
Despite the fact that he was deep inside the monstrosity, nothing had yet attacked him, or stopped his forward progress. His growing suspicions were only confirmed as he finally came upon the control room- there was no one there. A joy-stick like contraption was moving of its own volition- a flickering, damaged television screen showed the tendrils of flame as the licked the sky and attempted to burn Starfire. "Shoddy defenses," Cyborg mumbled to himself, and reached forward to grab the joystick. He had played enough video games that he would have no trouble driving this thing… out of the city, or somewhere…
…his fingers barely grazed the joystick, when Starfire's starbolts finally burst through the bull's metal hide. Cyborg's luck held- the starbolt hit him directly in the chest and propelled him across the control room into the wall.
The bull ground to a slow, protesting halt, the sound of its scraping treads fading away as the last sounds echoed through the bull's metal chassis. Cyborg slowly sat up, rubbing at his head, and Starfire came rocketing through the massive, smoking hole she had just made. "Oh, Cyborg! I am so sorry!" Starfire shouted.
"Please… not so loud…" Cyborg mumbled. His head was still ringing.
Starfire nodded sympathetically, touching his arm. The sounds of police sirens and the wailing of fire trucks could be heard growing ever louder… Cyborg sighed deeply. "I want to go home…" he mumbled pathetically. "My head hurts…"
Starfire nodded again. "Yes, we will return to our home, and you can rest, friend Cyborg."
Cyborg sighed in contentment. "Good, because I'm awfully tired…" he mumbled. "It's been a long… long day…"