The 12 Labors of Cyborg

Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans, I'd also like to own the world. But I don't, and consequently, the world is not mine. The Black Widow is, though. At least this particular rendition of her. As seen in earlier chapters.

A/N: I'm SO sorry I've been gone for so long. I actually have a fairly good excuse, involving this computer having no internet access. Now you can expect an update every few days until this baby is done.

The Apples of Hesperides

Robin would not shut up about the whole 'dating the cannibal' thing.

Beast Boy wouldn't shut up about the hickey… well, it was technically a ghastly bite wound, but all of the Titans insisted on calling it 'Cyborg's Cannibal Hickey.'

Really, the "hickey" Cyborg could live with. It would probably get infected unless he scoured it with anti-bacterial agents… already it was puffy and painfully red. But he felt he had gotten the better part of the deal- there had been at least ten corpses in the Black Widow's nest, plus however many she had killed and left topside, like the salesgirl whose name she had stolen.

That was probably what was bothering Cyborg the most… who was Emily? What unlucky circumstances put her in the way of the Black Widow's sick tastes?

He sighed, and slumped down in his chair. The rest of the team had gradually quieted down once they realized that Cyborg was actually honestly upset. Raven was still bed-ridden; the venom was mostly gone, and she was quite certain she could move on her own, but Robin was being especially domineering and so Raven stayed put.

And the photograph… no one had even brought it up. Cyborg found himself thinking about it… the photograph was the only reason these last two days even happened… and he was glad that Starfire seemed to have forgotten about it. Or maybe… he glanced over in her direction… she was waiting until the most inopportune moment possible to bring it back up. That was Starfire's style.

No, not really… he was just being bitter. Cyborg sighed, and reached over to the table, reaching for the remote control. Nothing… it had disappeared. Cyborg sighed again, even louder this time, and got down off of the couch on all fours. He couldn't see anything under the table- he groped underneath the couch, but the remote wasn't under there, either. What rotten luck… first corpses, now a lost remote. He'd have to do it the old fashioned way… Cyborg stood up and stormed over to the television. He slammed the 'power' button so hard the TV actually seemed to splutter in protest as it flickered on.

"Sorry… if I have to have a bad day, there's no reason for you to have a good one," Cyborg grumbled irritably, and flopped down on the couch again.

Whoever had watched the TV last had it set to the News… Cyborg didn't particularly feel like getting up to change it, so the news it was. The weather was on… partly cloudy, with a chance of rain… high of 60… actually, it seemed like a fairly pleasant day out. It was too bad that he was going to spend it inside… being angry… oh well.

The television flipped to commercials. Cyborg listened with only half an ear… he could care less what kind of laundry detergent was 'in' this week.

His mind wandered for a few minutes- and then gun shots sounded, close. Cyborg jumped, tipping the couch over backwards… the gun shots had stopped, and now a thick German accent declared "I'll be back." It had been a trailer for an upcoming movie. Cyborg sighed, stood up and righted the couch. He was far too jumpy. And why shouldn't he be? These past two days had been more eventful than an entire week usually was.

Starfire entered the room, looking timid. She was carrying a huge bowl in her hands. "Friend Cyborg?" She asked, hesitantly.

Cyborg turned towards her. For some reason, the last person he wanted to deal with right now was Starfire, but he couldn't exactly tell her to 'get lost' either, no matter how much he wanted to. "What is it, Starfire?" Cyborg asked in a satisfying brusque manner, hoping she'd get the hint and leave.

She didn't do either. She approached him carefully, as if he were a dangerous snake that might bite, and offered the bowl to him. "It is the Tamaran Pudding of Sadness. Perhaps its horrible taste will help you to feel better about recent terrible events?"

"No, Starfire, I think this one will just take time," Cyborg replied, waving the bowl away. Time… this would be burned into his memory like a file saved to a computer. It'd take more than just time, it'd take a total system reboot. He sighed, and sat back down, reaching for the remote but of course not finding it. "Time, is all."

"It is very… worrying? … that you are upset about this, friend Cyborg… we do not understand it," Starfire said. She sat down next to him, and put the bowl of pudding on the table.

Cyborg sighed. This meant that his teammates had been talking about him behind his back… and that they had elected Starfire to be the one to 'make him feel better.' Sometimes, he had to wonder what his teammates were thinking… "Time and quiet," he clarified.

But Starfire would not be deterred. "Are you upset because of the ruined date?"

"That could be part of it," Cyborg snorted.

"Once in Tamaran, a childhood companion of mine had much the similar situation. She-"

Cyborg really didn't want to deal with this… any of this. "Your friend dated a cannibal who stole someone else's identity and used it to attempt to eat her?" He stood up.

"Well, no…" Starfire frowned, and scratched her arm. "Okay, so perhaps it is not exactly similar…"

"Look, Star, I appreciate what you're trying to do- really. But I just need some time alone, alright?" he turned and stormed out of the room. He had to get away from the Tower… back into the city. He used his T-Car to get across the water, but once he was there he parked it and started walking.

If anything, though, the city was even more annoying than Starfire's mangled words of wisdom. There was no signs of any sort of devastation around this part- the bull and everything else had been on the other side of the river. But still… Cyborg sighed. He didn't even know what he was thinking anymore. It was probably a good thing he got away from the Tower, though… he might have had to start whaling on people in order to calm himself down. Out here, he could control himself a little more.

It started to rain. Water danced across his armor, splashing against the metal covering him. "Oh… perfect, just perfect," Cyborg snarled to no one in particular.

He couldn't take anymore bad luck! He just couldn't!

"Come on! Come on! You think this'll make things worse? You're doing a damn bad job! Come on, bring it on! SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT!" Cyborg screamed at the sky.

He stormed over to the side of a nearby building, standing under the awning, water dripping off of him. Thunder rumbled menacingly in the sky. "Yeah, that's right, you don't got anything else," he grumbled.

Lightning suddenly sluiced through the sky, dancing across the middle of the street right across from him. The blast didn't stop, however… it was a sustained bolt of energy… a bolt that began to darken, to turn blood red… the asphalt began to heat as well, glowing red… it began to melt, dropping down, disappearing into what appeared to be an enormous hole.

There was a deep, rumbling growl from deep underneath the city… steam exploded from the ground in one hideous snort. A paw the size of a truck tire slammed down on the concrete; fur black as tar, nails jagged black nubs…

Cyborg's eye widened despite himself.

That's what he got for challenging fate.