"You and I need to talk."
Buffy looked up at the man sitting across the table from her in bewilderment. She sucked in a stray strand of spaghetti and smiled back at him, remembering Xander's words to her just two days ago.
"As weird as this sounds right now, I get it. I get why you're so scared of him going again... but you don't need to be. Where else would he want to be? He has everything he wants right here: his job, his friends... you. Look at it this way - he walked away from everything that defines him - his home, his country - to stay with us... to be with you. He had a choice and look what he chose. Doesn't that mean anything? Doesn't it say something?"
"But you don't understand. It's not just that. I mean, what if -"
"Look, Buff, you can't spend your whole life worrying abut "what ifs", you know? Look at me. I know this. I spent the best part of last year thinking 'What if I hadn't walked away from Anya?', 'What if she were still alive?' I had to learn to take each day as it comes, counting the blessings instead of the curses - which wasn't always easy - but I'm getting through it and you can, too. Sure, you never know what's gonna happen tomorrow - I'm not trying be all depressing or anything, but Giles could get called away on an emergency, he could even get killed - or, he could be just fine. My point is, you don't know. So, you wanna hear my suggestion?"
Hesitantly, she'd nodded.
"Show him you appreciate him. Enjoy being with him. Don't have regrets. Make the most of him being here... then, if you're still worried... talk to him."
"But it's not that easy. I -"
He'd looked at his watch, then, his eyes widening in alarm.
"I really gotta book. Just... promise me you'll think about it."
She had promised and she had thought about it. Which explained why she was here now, enjoying lunch with him in one of their favourite café's and still smiling sunnily as she lifted a glass of white wine to her lips.
"Okay." She took a small sip before continuing. "So... what do we need to talk about? Is it that indexing system I thought up? Is it bad? Does it make no sense whatsoever?" The smile faded slightly. "It's bad, isn't it? I know it's bad."
Despite his resolve to keep a straight face and a stern voice, Giles chuckled. "Actually... it's surprisingly good." The chuckle took on affectionate warmth. "I always knew you were more intelligent than you allowed yourself to believe."
"Really?" Her whole face lit up as she settled the glass back on the table, fiddling absently with its stem. "Yay me!" They shared a grin in peaceful silence until Buffy prompted him. "So, anyway... what is it you want to talk about? If it's not that, then what is it?"
Giles shifted uncomfortably in his chair, dropping his gaze to his lap. "It's... well... it's about Dawn."
Buffy sighed dramatically. "What about Dawn? What's she done this time?"
"Actually... I'm more concerned with what you've done."
She frowned slightly in confusion, twirling her fork in the pasta strands absently. "I'm sorry, Giles. You've completely lost me. What's about Dawn that I've done?"
"It's... ah... well, she mentioned something to me the other day... and... well..."
"Oh, I get it." She lifted the now-heaped fork to her mouth, pausing halfway as she responded to his suddenly-raised eyebrows, "I've upset Dawn but she won't tell me herself - so you got saddled with having to confront me. Okay... go ahead... I'm used to her teenage traumas." The food completed its journey as she watched Giles' eyebrows descend once more, this time settling into a mild frown.
"Actually, Buffy, she hasn't done anything. The only trauma is that she's worried about you." After a beat, he added in a much softer voice, "And she's not the only one." Clearing his throat awkwardly, he reclaimed his subject. "Dawn happened to mention a conversation that you two shared last week and she's somewhat concerned for your... well... your state of mind."
The cutlery dropped on to the plate with a clatter, and Buffy found herself grateful that she'd chewed that last mouthful well.
"My what?"
He shifted in his seat once more. "I... this isn't easy to say... but... well... she thinks you're... uh... jealous."
"Oh."
Silence fell as she ate another mouthful of spaghetti bolognese while she considered his statement. He watched as she ate for a moment, uncertain then of how to proceed, before returning his attentions to his scampi while he awaited her response. Seconds passed before Buffy at last formulated an answer.
"So... what exactly am I meant to be jealous of?" Noticing he was still chewing and unable to answer, she furthered the question. "I - I mean, there's no guy on the scene as far as I know and clothes aren't an issue... so... what is it? I can't think of anything it could be. Unless she thinks I'm jealous of her friends, but that's not true, 'cause I have my own and I couldn't ask for better." She gave him a sweet smile that he struggled to return even after he had swallowed his fish past the knot of emotion that had formed in his throat.
"Uh... actually..."
Her eyes widened in surprised at his soft, yet hesitant tone.
"What?" Is that what this is about? Her friends?"
"No... not exactly." He rested his cutlery on the plate once more and leaned backward, clasping hands on the table as he fought to find the right words. "This is about Dawn, you and I. We... both... think that you are... uh... uncomfortable... with the amount of time that Dawn and I have been spending together. She thinks you're jealous of either her or myself... but she isn't sure which, or why. I, on the other hand, cannot help but wonder if you are more... scared... than jealous." Before she could object, he leaned forward, surprised at his own boldness as he reached across the table to place one of his hands over hers. "You can talk to me, you know. I don't want to assume anything, but even Xander has noticed your awkwardness around me lately. Please be honest with me and tell me if I've done something wrong. I'd hate to think that I'm coming between you and Dawn."
"Giles..."
"Buffy, please, let me say this. I know that often it feels like there are miles between us and that I'm probably the last person you'd talk to about this, but I've seen you trying so hard to be a stable influence in your sister's life... and I'm worried that you're trying too hard to replace your mother. I get the impression that despite all your efforts that they aren't what Dawn seeks. I think she just wants your friendship."
"But, I..."
"Buffy, I need you to tell me if I'm standing in the way of that. I want you to say if you feel that I'm spending too much time with Dawn... I don't want you to feel pushed out... I don't want you to have regrets."
His choice of words nudged at her subconscious and she found herself suddenly remembering her conversation with Xander once more.
"Um... Giles?"
"Yes, Buffy?" He casually ran a finger round the rim of his water glass as he patiently awaited her response.
"I kinda need to tell you something."
"About Dawn?" Again he waited, yet this time the silence seemed to stretch out and he could almost hear her arguing with herself.
"Sort of... but not really. It's... well, it's about you, actually."